Escape From Paradise (39 page)

Her eyes lifted to his, scorching him with their heat, and he wondered if she was thinking the same.

“Fuck.” He dropped the sandwich, glad the table was keeping his erection hidden. “Angela…I need you to feed yourself.
Please
. I can’t keep doing this. It’s not good for you.”

Or me.

She swallowed her bite and started to tremble. “I can’t.”

Colin felt frustrated. He didn’t know the right or wrong of it anymore.

“Look at me.” His voice was harsher than intended, but it did the trick. Her wide brown eyes looked up. “Pick up your sandwich and take a bite. Continue looking at me as you eat.”

With shaking hands, she did exactly as he’d ordered, and it was fucking beautiful. To reward her he reached down and ran his hand up the length of her soft forearm. “Very good. From now on, I want you to do this on your own. I will no longer feed you. I like to see your independence. Do you understand?”

She swallowed and nodded. His hand lingered against her skin, and he watched the rise and fall of her chest quicken.

“
Ahem
.”

He pulled his hand back and looked at Agent MacDonald in the doorway. Nobody usually got the drop on Colin, but he’d been too wrapped up in Angela to hear her approach. Now he inwardly cursed himself.

Agent MacDonald crossed her arms and moved closer. “I think this thing between the two of you needs to be addressed right away.”

Every muscle in Colin tightened and Angela dropped her sandwich.

“I was going to speak to you each individually, but it might be beneficial to discuss this with both of you at once.” She took a chair and pulled it to the end of the table. “What happened between the two of you in Spain?”

Straight for the balls. Neither of them replied.

“Did you have sex?”

“Agent—” Colin began, but Angela cut him off.

“No. He…wouldn’t.”

Agent MacDonald’s eyebrows went up. “Interesting. Then what? Kissing? Touching? Oral sex, maybe?”

“Where the fuck are you going with this, Agent?”

She
tsked
. “Language, please. There is an obvious link between the two of you, brought on by the trauma you shared. Angela treats you as a savior while you seem to feel a constant need to continue serving her, even while your job is technically over.”

“She is still under my protection while in Scotland.”

“Nobody knows where she is—”

“That we’re aware of.”

“Agent Douglas.” The woman’s condescending tone was grating. “You witnessed Angela in an openly sexual environment, and I can only assume the two of you had sexual contact of some sort, which further muddied the waters. You both did what you had to to pursue freedom, and I commend you, but it is time to move forward. Agent Douglas, the longer you linger in Angela’s life, the longer you’re prolonging her mental instability.”

Angela’s head lifted abruptly. “No.”

“Yes,” Agent MacDonald crooed to her. “It is difficult to heal while someone from your past is in the picture as a constant reminder of all you experienced. Every time you look at him you must see the enslaved girl you once were.”

“Every time I look at him I see the goodness in humanity!” Angela slapped a hand over her mouth, as if dumbfounded by her shout.

Something inside Colin fluttered, both at her words and her outburst that showed renewed strength. Was that really how she saw him?

Agent MacDonald couldn’t accept this, as proven by her pursed lips. “Let me ask you this, then,” the woman said to Angela. “What do you want from him?”

Angela said nothing, only stared at the table, taking steady breaths.

Agent MacDonald prompted her. “Do you just want him to be near you, forever? To keep you safe? Do you want to spend your life thanking him? Perhaps with your body?”

Colin tensed. The way she said that, as if accusing and judging Angela made him see red with rage.

“That’s enough,” he said.

“I’m only just beginning,” she said. “The two of you need a serious reality check.”

“Not like this.” Colin stood. “It’s time for you to leave.”

“Excuse me?” Agent MacDonald stood, as well, a challenging look on her face.

“You heard me. You’re not helping the situation. Only making things worse. I want you to leave.”

“You are making a grave mistake.”

“Now.”

Colin could tell by her puffed up chest and clenched fists that she wasn’t accustomed to taking orders. But she could likely tell by the unflinching glare of his eyes that he would not back down.

“Abernathy will be hearing about this.” She clinked her heels from the room, and Colin followed to show her out. She turned at the door and pointed a finger at his chest. “That girl believes she’s in love with you! It’s completely irresponsible for you to allow this to continue.”

He wanted to argue with her, but the problem was he knew she was right. He felt like a gobshite at any given moment for not wanting to let her go, but he couldn’t.

“I know what you’re thinking,” she continued. “That you can have a future of some sort together, but it will be a mockery of a relationship. What kind of man pursues a traumatized woman who’s been so poorly used that she can never hope for a normal life?”

Colin stepped closer, keeping his voice low, and watched the Agent’s breathing quicken.

“The kind of man who cares for said woman, and wants to help her find that ‘normal life’ you believe she can never have.”

“You’re just as emotionally disturbed as she is!”

“Well then we make a nice pair.”

Agent MacDonald looked him square in the eye with a malicious gleam. “Are you intimidated by strong women, Agent Douglas? Afraid you can’t handle one like me who’s actually got her act together? You want the weak ones who will cave to your will?”

Colin briefly allowed himself to envision taking this woman over his knee. It would do her some good. Instead he said, “Angela Birch
is
the strongest woman I know. And yes. She intimidates the fuck out of me.”

He opened the door and gestured for her to exit. Angry fire lit Agent MacDonald’s face as she stomped past him. He shut the door, locking it behind her with relish.

When he turned he caught sight of Angela standing at the edge of the hall, watching him. How much had she heard? He started to call her name, but she turned and rushed away.

Colin cursed, and ran to catch her, but she was down the hall, closing the door to her room. He went to her door, placing his palms and forehead against it.

“Angela…can we talk, lass?” He had no idea what to say. No idea what to do. What did he expect from her? What did he want for the future? Was the psych Agent correct in her assessment of his complete fucked-up-ness for having all of these feelings he couldn’t understand for the girl he’d saved?

The door slowly and quietly opened, making his blood pump and nerves dance.

Angela’s eyes were down as he came in and closed the door.

“Will you talk to me?” he asked.

She gave a small shrug. “What do you want me to say? Nobody takes me seriously.”

All lines of right and wrong had been blurred and gray since he met Angela, and he still didn’t know what to believe or think. All he knew was that she’d gotten to a place inside him that nobody else ever had. A place he hadn’t even known he had.

“I…fuck. I want to know you. To know what you’re feeling.”

“I already told you.”

I love you.

“Look at me,” Colin whispered. Her pretty eyes raised to his. “Please understand that I’m questioning every single thing in my life right now. All that I did to rescue you—I’d do it all again to save you, but I can’t help but wonder if I could have done things differently.”

“You couldn’t have.” A tremble of emotion was in her voice. “It was dangerous for you not to have sex with me—real sex. You don’t have to question that anymore.”

“Even so. I now question everything I feel. Everything you feel. I want to do right by you, but what if Agent MacDonald is right? What if I’m only holding you back?”

“She’s wrong!” Angela’s eyes filled with righteous tears that didn’t spill. Her voice was strong as her little hands fisted with indignation. “I don’t want to hear you or her say my feelings aren’t real because of what I’ve been through. My mind and my heart might be hurting, but they’re not
broken
. They’re working just fine! I know what I want!”

She was shaking, as if the force of her words conjured fear after so long of not being able to speak her mind. The strength in her voice did crazy things to Colin.

“What do you want?” he asked her.

She closed her eyes. “I want you.”

So many things flitted through Colin’s mind at top speed. Did she want him for good? Or temporarily? Did she need to fuck him to get closure from him? So many reasons cropped up for him to tell her no. It’d only been a handful of days since she’d found freedom. He could still be taking advantage of her.

She stood there before him, head down, fists clenched in frustration, and Colin had never wanted to touch a woman so badly. The absolute certainty and exasperation in her voice made him push all doubt aside. As he made his decision, he felt desire working its way through him, spinning like a maelstrom. And he embraced it.

He stepped closer, nearly growling. “You want me?”

She sucked in a breath, and Colin knew she could surely see the arousal growing in his pants. “Yes, Mr. Douglas.”

Even the sound of her formal name for him made him feel wild. Unfettered.

“On your knees.”

She dropped to her knees without hesitation, sending a thrill through his nerve endings strong enough to push his guilt aside. Maybe she really wanted this, or maybe she only thought she did. Either way, he was going to give it to her.

“Tell me exactly what you want, Angela.”

Her eyes stared down at her hands on her thighs. “I want…”

He stepped forward, placing a hand on her head, digging his fingers lightly into her hair. “Yes?”

“I want you to own me. Right now. To be my master in the bedroom.”

Colin had never been so hard in his life. He struggled to take even breaths.

“Stand up, Angela. Take off your clothes.”

She did as he asked, letting the clothes fall to the floor at his feet. Her body was as gorgeous as he recalled, taut valleys and soft curves begging for his touch. Her apparent nervousness only added to the lust factor for him.

He stepped closer until he was inches from her, and she kept her head down, never moving.

Colin reached behind her and pulled out the ponytail holder, then thrust his fingers into the hair at her neck, tugging lightly to lift her head.

“Look at me.”

She did. Their mingled gazes were almost too intimate to handle.

“Tell me what else you want,” he demanded.

“I want you inside me. In every part of me. From every angle. I want you to use me.” She paused for breath and it took every ounce of self control for Colin not to attack yet. Then she said, “I want to be your slave. Your whore.”

He leaned his face closer to hers, feeling fierce. “You are neither of those things to me, Angela. You are my woman. My beautiful, submissive woman. Do you understand?”

She gave a tiny nod and then gasped as his grip in her hair tightened.

“Words.”

“Yes,” she breathed.

“I want to hear you say it. You are not a whore.”

She closed her eyes and he held her hair tighter, forcing them open.

“I’m not a whore.”

“You’re not a slave.”

Her voice cracked when she whispered, “I’m not a slave,” and Colin felt that place inside of him that she owned crack open as well.

“You are my woman.”

A tear slipped down her cheek and he made no move to wipe it away. It was a part of her. It could stay.

“I’m your woman, Mr. Douglas. Yours.”

He crushed his mouth to hers, using his hands to pull her tiny, naked body against him. He felt her fingers at the button of his trousers and he grabbed his shirt, ripping it over his head.

Colin let go of every fear. Every doubt. Every worry.

He let it all go, and embraced his instincts. He would own this wee lass. Completely.

I’d never wanted to cry of happiness from a single touch until that moment. But each fingertip that met my skin, each hungry tug and pull, each press of his palms and crush of his lips made me want to weep with joy. These were touches born of true desire. These were touches I’d chosen, and he’d chosen, despite how difficult I know it’d been for him.

He was too noble for his own good, and to see him let loose lit me on fire.

This is what I wanted and needed. This man and his firm grip of ownership on my body. Maybe in the eyes of Agent MacDonald our relationship wasn’t healthy, but I didn’t care. Nothing had ever felt more right.

He walked me backward to the bed, pushing me down and standing over me. I grabbed the waistband of his underwear and pulled them out and down, reaching for his thick shaft with greedy urgency. He moaned as my fingers curled around him. His own hand dipped down and cursed with lust when his fingers found my wetness. I pushed my hips toward his hand, and he shoved me back on the bed, covering my body with his, kissing me hard.