Escape to Morning (35 page)

Lord, I thought I asked You not to let me fall for him
. Tears slipped down into her ear, pooled there, turning cold in the night air. Not only had she fallen hard for Will the reporter, but he
wasn't
a reporter. He was some die-hard federal soldier who lived life on the edge. A guy whose life defined the word
danger
. Who could come home any day in a box with a folded flag. If he came home at all.

She could not fall in love with Will.
Could not
. Because even if she could forgive him for lying—and everything inside her yelled yes! to that thought—she couldn't stand on the doorstep and wave good-bye to him, maybe forever, every time he went out the door.

Another tear dripped into her ear. The trees swayed overhead, caught by a breeze. She remembered the night after the tornado long ago. She'd sung and held Ashley's hand and told her so-very-quiet-sister stories. As the night wore on and help failed to arrive, she had tucked herself into the furrowed earth next to Ashley and draped an arm over her cold body and slept.

She dreamed that night of a friend. Someone strong who lifted her sister and carried her into the vault of heaven. Someone who then carried her, held her to His chest, and kept her warm. She remembered His smell, sweet like the corn silk that lay in tangles around her.

When she awoke she was in her bed, covered in her mother's quilts, her mother's arm over her body. They'd waited a day to tell her the truth, but she knew it anyway. She'd seen Ashley go to heaven, after all.

Since then, her adult mind told her that stress had conjured up the dream and that the arms had been her rescuers'. Still, in the private, small place where she stored her childhood, she fell into that smell and embraced it. Believed that, yes, Jesus had visited her that night. That she and Ashley hadn't been abandoned.

God is my portion. My sustenance
. Sarah's words felt like a long-awaited embrace. How long had it been since God had been her portion? She'd done a pretty good job of filling up her life with her SAR career, her dogs, even her Team Hope friends. She couldn't even remember the last night she'd spent alone. Another tear slipped down her cheek, bypassed her ear, and fell into her hair.

Missy had been her portion. Missy and Sherlock. And before them, her grandma and grandpa.

In fact, God had provided someone to love her throughout her life, despite her losses. He'd even provided Will to watch over her as she tramped through the woods. What if the Hayata terrorists had found her? They might have forced her and Missy to help them find Amina. And then left them as crow fodder in the woods.

But instead of seeing Will and Missy and even Team Hope as God's provisions, she'd made them her portion. Her lifelines.

Great is Thy faithfulness, O God my Father,

Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed, Thy hand hath provided—

Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord, unto me!

The hymn filled her mind, and with a gasp that she felt to her toes, she realized that God
had
been faithful. All she had needed, He'd provided. From a grandmother who filled her dark moments with songs of faith to a man who had filled her heart with a new song. And God would not leave her tonight or tomorrow, for that matter. Morning by morning He'd be there.

Even if Will wasn't.

God may have provided Will, but tonight she was on her own. And if she decided to give Will her heart, to love him, she'd have countless nights on her own.

Or with God. Who had truly been her portion since she'd been lost, or rather, alone. Not really lost. Not ever. And not forgotten.

Lord, I know that I asked You not to forget me and to send someone to find me, to save me. And I guess You have. You've provided and protected me in ways I can't even imagine
. She smiled as she watched the stars, feeling warmth pervade her muscles, her bones. Maybe she did need God as much as her friend Lacey did. And maybe Dani too could radiate her own salvation.

Lord, You are my portion. And I am satisfied to wait for Your deliverance. Just as You have been faithful to deliver me over and over
…

She heard the sound of tires crunching gravel up the road. She tensed, tried to hear past her thundering heartbeat. The car stopped, doors slammed; then flashlights scraped over the forest above her.

She closed her eyes.

… and over
. …

Chapter 21

“YOU'RE NOT GOING in there, Wild.” Micah stood outside the emergency-room door like the commando captain he'd been, and by the look on his face, Will would have a better chance moving a longhorn steer than Micah.

“I am. Please, Micah. My boss and Amina are waiting for me. I just have to say good-bye.”

Conner joined Micah, a look of compassion on his face. “What if it were Lacey, Micah?”

Micah gave Will a hard look. The fluorescent lights of the hospital did nothing to soften his expression of anger.

Well, get in line. Will already felt disgusted with his behavior over the past several days, and Jim Micah's indictment wouldn't do any more damage.

“Listen, I just want to see if she's okay. I … probably won't see her again, and I …”

“Then it's better if you leave. Now. Without breaking her heart. You've already done enough. I know this isn't totally your fault, but what if she never walks again, Wild? Then what?”

Will turned away from Micah, feeling rotten.

Conner paced in a small circle not far from them, and Will could play a mournful tune from the tension in the hospital hallway. Inside the emergency room, the doctor and Sarah attended to Dani. Her friend Andee and Jim Micah's fiancée, Lacey Montgomery, had gone for coffee. As if Will needed a reminder of the guy he'd been, the guy who had let his emotions finally have sway and suck the woman he cared for into trouble, Lacey had to recognize him as the wild-living Green Beret who'd helped her infiltrate Iraq and rescue the man she loved.

Obviously, he hadn't changed too much.

“Wild!” But she'd hugged him as if he'd been a friend instead of a scoundrel.

Despite the fact that he had to walk out of Dani's life, he still wanted to be the guy who made her feel safe. The guy who did things God's way, one day at a time.

“Micah, I gotta go.” Will caught sight of Jeff Anderson— his ride—in the hallway with a look of exasperation on his face. He turned to Micah. “Just … tell Dani …” Tell her what? That he was falling in love with her?

He felt sick with the hollow feeling he'd become accustomed to years earlier, when
Wild
had been an appropriate moniker for his love-'em-and-leave-'em lifestyle.

Only, he didn't want to leave Dani.

“Tell her … thank you for being my friend.” He stalked out, past Jeff, straight to the SUV, and slid in beside Amina, hating the man he had to be.

Had every friend she had abandoned her? Dannette lay in a hospital bed with her leg elevated—hungry, bone tired, wanting to rewind time and start over.

But would she have done anything differently? Probably not. Her instincts had told her to find the girl. Mission accomplished.

So maybe her heart was an acceptable casualty.

She could hardly believe, even after a day in the hospital, that Will had left without saying good-bye.

That thought had the ability to sweep her breath out of her chest, leaving only heartache in its wake.

A knock at the door. Conner poked his head in. “Hey.”

“I thought visiting hours were over.” Dannette smiled, however. “Did you bring me a pizza?”

Conner grinned, slipped into the room, and produced a box containing a Sven and Ole's pizza from behind his back. “Pepperoni, mushrooms, and double cheese. Just hope the nurses can't smell it.”

“You're my hero, Sparks,” Dannette said as she motored the bed into a sitting position. “When did Homeland Security cut you loose?”

“About an hour ago. Micah's still under the lights, but he'll be over later too.”

“Doesn't anyone care about the sleeping needs of the infirm anymore?” Andee said as the door opened and Andee and Sarah swept into the room, followed by Lacey. They each toted a two-liter bottle of soda.

“I could get into so much trouble.” Dannette laughed.

“Yeah, well, if it were up to Sheriff Fadden, you'd be sitting in a jail cell right now. Good thing you have a friend at Homeland Security,” Sarah remarked.

Yeah. A friend. Who would remain unnamed.

Conner set the pizza down and opened the box while Sarah poured Dannette a glass of Coke.

“I still can't figure out how you found me,” Dannette said to Conner as she wiggled a slice of pizza out of the box.

“You dropped your GPS in the forest,” Conner answered as he helped himself to pizza. “Micah and I found it and Kirby, collarless. We tracked you for a while, and when we realized you were hiking out a different direction than where we'd parked our vehicles, we took a chance and headed into town for Sarah and Andee. We got out our maps, did some quick home-work, and found Service Road 16. Good thing, um … Will and that girl were hiding in the woods, because we might not have found where they hid you after the crash.”

“They hid me?”

“Yeah. And Will was really torn up before he left. Wanted to say good-bye, but Micah wasn't having it.”

Oh. Well, she couldn't really blame Micah for his overprotective streak. That's what made him Micah.

And she'd certainly been thankful for said protectiveness when he and the rest of Team Hope appeared in the forest to rescue her. She still shuddered when she thought of that moment of panic when the car drove up and flashlights illuminated the dome of forest over her.

“Dannette?” Andee MacLeod had shouted into the darkness, her petite frame belying her loud, panicked voice.

Dannette had mustered the strength to groan. Loudly.

“Thank You, Lord,” Andee said and yelled for Micah.

They had Dannette bundled and in the backseat of Sarah's SUV in record time. Micah held her head in his lap as Andee muscled the Jeep out of the hills and into Moose Bend.

Shortly after they'd checked her into the hospital, a few Homeland Security agents showed up, taking Sarah, Micah, and Conner with them for the better part of yesterday. So much for their girls' weekend canoe trip. By the time the agents debriefed her friends, she'd been out of surgery, was starting to get cranky, and wondering why Will hadn't shown up. She hadn't asked because, well, the answer hurt too much.

Obviously he hadn't cared for her as much as she thought.

Thankfully, Sarah had read her silences. She'd found a quiet moment, sat on Dannette's bed, took her hand, and simply said, “He wasn't much of a reporter, anyway.”

No. He was probably the worst reporter in history. But he made a superb undercover operative. Had her completely fooled.

Lacey sat on Dannette's bed. “The doctor says you'll be discharged tomorrow. I want you and Missy and Sherlock to come and stay with us while you recuperate. Emily is dying to see you, and I need wedding advice.” She smiled, kindness in her silver eyes.

Dannette nodded, Lacey's words soothing some of her ragged wounds. “How is Missy?”

“Good.” Andee pulled up a chair next to the bed. “I've got her bed made in your truck, and the vet said he'd discharge her tomorrow also. Conner will follow you and Sarah in your truck back to Kentucky. And I'll be there in a month for the wedding.” She touched Dannette's hand. “I'm sad we didn't get our vacation on the trail. We'll have to have a cookout on the beach or something tomorrow, a sort of Memorial Day consolation prize.”

“Next year we'll hit the BWCAW for sure.”

“What's going on in here?”

Dannette froze, and the look on Conner's face said
busted
.

Dannette recognized the night nurse, the one with gulagguard warmth.

“Out of here, all of you,” Nurse Guard commanded.

“Right. Okay.” Conner saluted her but grinned, softening his sarcasm. “We're just tucking our friend in for the night.”

Obviously even the night nurse wasn't immune to Conner's charm. She smiled and even blushed.

Dannette saw Andee roll her eyes and laughed.

Maybe in time being around her friends would make Dannette forget the man who'd infected her with his own charm.

The group left, and she was alone with her pizza, her heartbeat, and the night pressing against the windows.

Will, wherever you are, I pray that you find the man God wants you to be
.