Espino, Stacey - Midlife Ménage [Ride 'em Hard 5] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) (5 page)

“You’re not out of the woods yet, darlin’. Come back and sit on the sofa. You can eat from there so you can lean back on the cushions. Heatstroke can do funny things to a person, even when you think you’re well.”

She humored him for now. Mostly because she still felt out of sorts and knew it would be smartest to cool off and rest a while before returning to her stifling-hot home. Without Wade ordering her to sit and relax, she knew she’d start working extra hard to catch up on lost time if she headed home now. Maybe she needed a strong man in her life, one who could respect her as well as put her in her place when necessary. “Thank you for everything.” Wendy sat on the sofa, ensuring the robe was held tightly together.

Wade sat on a well-loved brown leather chair which faced her, just a wooden coffee table separating them. He’d set out an array of food on a white ceramic turkey platter. Red and green grapes, cubes of store-bought cheese, and what looked like a scrambled egg sandwich on whole wheat bread. Her mouth salivated. Back home they lived straight off the land, so if something wasn’t in season or grown in their garden, they went without.

She tentatively reached for a piece of marbled cheese. When she glanced up to gauge Wade’s reaction, he was smiling, a calmness in his eyes. She’d never seen him riled, so maybe he was always laid-back. “Go on. It’s all for you. You need protein and fluids. Drink all that juice. It doesn’t look pretty, but it has everything the body needs.”

The juice in question was green and pulpy. There wasn’t much that Wendy wouldn’t try, so she wasn’t worried. “Thank you,” she repeated. This was the first time anyone had taken care of her. Even when she was sick, she sucked it up and cared for her children. But her children were adults now. Her youngest was twenty-two and moving out in a few months. There would no longer be a need for sacrifices and nobody to care for. Wendy would be lost when she no longer had a role to play. She only knew how to be a mother, a provider.

“Wendy, you don’t have to battle the drought on your own. You have neighbors who’re willing to help. Want to help.” He dragged a hand through his waves of brown hair. Wade was a ruggedly handsome man with strong features. His blue eyes were piercing, as if they could see behind her facade to the vulnerable woman locked up behind the tough skin.

She shook her head. “Everyone has their own problems.”

“
I
want to help you,” he said. “I want to be everything you need if you’d only let me. You’re a strong, beautiful woman, one who deserves to be loved and cared for.”

Wendy ate the cheese.

“What happens when Kylie leaves home? You gonna live all by your lonesome on that ranch?”

“Loneliness can’t inspire a woman to love.”

“Not if it isn’t already in her heart,” he countered.

After reached for a sprig of grapes, she answered, “I still have Christine.”

“Phil was telling me she’s doing well in school. Do you think she’ll be living at home forever? It’s only natural for grown children to want to start lives for themselves, fall in love, and marry.”

She frowned. “I hope you’re not saying I don’t want the best for my children. Of course I want them to be happy and live their own lives. Not once have I considered myself before them.”

He grabbed her wrist when she reached for another grape on the platter. “Exactly. Why you punishing yourself? You have so much life to live.”

They held eye contact for a moment. “Being alive is reward enough. Some of us aren’t that lucky.” She couldn’t even say her husband’s name or mention his death without clamming up.

“Right. Your husband.” He took a deep breath, letting go of her wrist. “How long’s it been?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” She swirled the glass of veggie juice, watching the thick liquid spiral around the inside rim. All the muscles in her body seemed to go taut at once.

“Too bad.”

She snapped her eyes back up, meeting his gaze. Her mouth was agape due to his callous tone and outright rudeness.

“You need to let go of the past, baby doll. There ain’t nothing wrong with remembering those you love, but when you can’t even function, can’t live a normal, healthy life, then you have a problem. I can see the conflict brewing inside you, eating you alive.”

Wendy was so exhausted, weak, hungry, and emotionally battered that her resolve diminished by the second. “Please…Just leave me be.” Her words came out as a whisper, a near-silent cry of a woman crumbling from the inside out. Even as they sat here, her orchard and wheat were burning under the unrelenting sun, her bills were getting behind, and she’d have to sell one of her beloved horses as soon as she secured a buyer. On top of that, she was being forced to relive a painful past, one she couldn’t let go of. Wade was right. She was living an unhealthy life, living in a shadow of her former self. All these years she was so busy being mother and rancher that she didn’t have time to reflect. Now that her kids were grown, she was starting to discover herself again, and all her undealt-with baggage. Wendy didn’t really like herself at all.

“I’ll never leave you be, darlin’. I’ll always be there for you if you call. I only hope you realize what’s right in front of you soon. I guarantee no man will love you like I do.” Then he chuckled. “I’m not getting any younger, Wendy McCay. You’ve held me back for nearly fifteen years. The day may come when I have no choice but to look for love elsewhere.”

Her heart began to race. “But you just said you’d never leave me be.”

“I’ll always be there if you need help, but I have desires like any other man. I won’t make the same mistake you have by locking my heart away.”

Wendy felt terror stricken. She may have been standoffish with Wade over the years, but she finally realized that his presence and constant courting were a comfort to her. She’d been the one in the wrong, encouraging him on occasion, knowing she was incapable of loving back. Now that he’d threatened to take that unconditional love elsewhere, she felt desperate to grab hold of him, to beg him to love her.

Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes. Not just for the potential loss, but for wasting away her whole life, her years of youth, her beauty. Wade deserved the woman she used to be, not the thing that looked back at her in the mirror now. She dropped her head to shield her glistening eyes. “Please don’t give up on me.”

Chapter Four

Wade’s heart broke for the woman in front of him. She’d been so icy since he’d known her, rarely giving outsiders a glimpse into the warm woman she kept under lock and key. Those rare times she let down her guard were enough to win over his heart. Now she looked defeated. Lost. His protective instincts soared off the charts. He wanted to be everything she needed, but knew he had to take baby steps or risk losing her.

They were both lonely, unmarried, and the physical attraction between them was more than evident. She could deny it until the cows came home, but he’d seen her check out his body, take peeks when she thought he wasn’t looking. It was a constant cat-and-mouse game, but he was tiring of it, weary of waiting. Of course, he was plum smitten with Wendy. He’d never seen a woman age so beautifully, and carry herself with such strength and grace. She was a good mother, and a hard worker, but it was time for her to explore the woman.

“Stop pushing me away and I’ll wait for you, give you all the time in the world you need.”

“I’m just—I’m in over my head. Sometimes when I wake up in the morning, before I open my eyes, I pretend things are different. That the crops are healthy, the bills are paid, my daughter isn’t dating an asshole, and that…I know what love is again.”

He pushed the coffee table to the side, the legs scraping the hardwood, and knelt in front of her, clasping her hands in one of his. “That can be real, sweetheart. I promise I’d never hurt you, never make you regret loving me.”

She scoffed. “You deserve better. I doubt I’ll be able to give much. It’s been so long—” He could practically hear her resolve cracking. It was the day he’d waited for, the day she decided to move on, accept change.

“I’ll take whatever I can get. Just give me a chance.”

She worried her lower lip between her teeth. He wasn’t sure if it was because she was thinking or because her lips needed more balm. “No promises.”

He kissed her knuckles, her skin silky under his lips. His cock instantly came to life despite the room weighing heavily with emotion. But if he managed to control that appendage for years, he could keep it in check for a while longer. “Eat your sandwich before it gets cold. I made it myself.”

She complied, reaching out for it as Wade stood up. Watching her eat the food he’d prepared with his own hands gave him a unique sense of pleasure and peace. He wanted Wendy McCay to be his more than all the riches in the world. Now that she’d offered him a chance to prove himself, he’d show her exactly how a cowboy treated a woman.

* * * *

Jackson had a tiring week, registering at new events, competing in barrel races, and meeting up with old friends. A piece of him would always be part of the rodeo. It was in his blood, his soul. But another part, maybe taken from his mother, wanted a different life. He finished his cigarette in the truck, not wanting to piss off his landlady. Her pickup was in the driveway, so he didn’t want to risk getting scolded by her for smoking. Then again, he did crave her fiery nature.

All week she’d kept aloof, feeding and caring for him, but not getting too friendly. A woman living alone could never be too safe, especially with a strange man living under her roof, so he could understand her guarded nature. But her caution went to the extreme—if they shared a laugh, she quickly stifled it. When any intimacy formed mutually between them, she suddenly remembered something she had to do at the other side of the ranch. The more he watched her, the more he became infatuated. Little things, like the way she tucked her hair behind her ear when she did her mending in the evenings. He’d watch her work, her little pixy nose and full lips downright adorable. She would get so focused on her task that she didn’t even realize he would be staring like a lovesick fool. He didn’t care that she was a good many years older. Jackson had never been a ladies’ man, always a degree more responsible than his friends. He could appreciate the value of a good woman. Mrs. McCay had experience, confidence, and mature beauty—things the young cowgirls didn’t possess. He wanted her even more knowing he could never have her.

Christine came rushing from the house. He butted his cigarette out in the ashtray and rolled the window all the way down. “Have you seen my mother?”

“No. Just pulled up myself.”

“Well, her truck’s here. She left me some chickens for plucking, but I can’t find her.”

It was unusual that Mrs. McCay wouldn’t be around at this hour. She rarely left the ranch, and worked herself to the bone maintaining the place until the last shred of daylight. When Jackson offered to help, it was like pulling teeth. She was overly obsessed with her independence, refusing to allow others to assist her. The fact she was gone without her truck worried him. An unsettled feeling formed inside him, as if something was terribly wrong.

“Let’s go take a look.” He got out of his truck and began his investigation. If she wasn’t in the house, she could be in the barn, the fields, or the orchard. He started with the barn. The heat was nearly unbearable, so he couldn’t imagine she’d be foolish enough to work the land at this hour. Christine followed along behind him.

The heavy equipment was where he expected it to be, the horses in the small, shaded paddock, and the dogs loose. He stopped near the back of the house, frowning as he tried to figure out where she’d go.

“I’m worried,” said her daughter. Christine’s face was marked with concern. Where the fuck could she be? His worries grew the longer he couldn’t find her. He began to run around the outside perimeter of the fields behind the house, calling her name. That woman didn’t seem to have a friend in the world, so she had to be here.

“Goddamn it,” he cursed after an extensive search.

“Maybe she went into town with Kylie.”

“Without the truck?”

“They could have drove with Kylie’s boyfriend. He has a car.”

He shook his head. “There’s no way she’d have anything to do with Jason. She bad-mouths him every chance she gets.”

As they stood there together, staring out into the open fields, the muffled sound of the telephone sparked both of their attention. Christine ran back to the house, whipping open the screen and bounding inside. Jackson hoped to God it wasn’t a phone call saying Mrs. McCay had been taken to the hospital or worse.

By the time he reached the house, afraid of what news Christine may tell him, she was out of breath, leaning against the kitchen counter.