Eternal (13 page)

And, just like that, Della got the crazy feeling that this was about her.

“You know we won't say anything,” Kylie offered.

“I know that.” After staring at her hands, Miranda glanced back up at Della.

“Is this about me?” Della asked, hoping she was wrong, because then she'd really be pissed.

Her focus on Miranda came to a quick halt when she heard footsteps heading up to the cabin. She tilted her head to the side to listen to the cadence, and immediately she knew who it was.

 

Chapter Fourteen

Steve's knock on the door sounded too loud. Della considered hiding and telling her two roommates to lie.

“Come in,” Kylie called out before Della could initiate her plan.

Steve opened the door. Della planted her eyes on him. Then Miranda let go of an awkward sigh. Shifting her focus back to Miranda, Della saw guilt flash in the girl's eyes. Well, crap! Whatever the little witch was hiding didn't just involve Della, it had something to do with Steve, too.

“What's going on?” Della muttered to the witch.

Miranda sank deeper into her chair as if guilt had her weighed down.

“Can I talk to you?” Steve asked, and his tone set Della's pulse to racing.

She looked at Steve, really looked, and the hurt in his eyes smacked Della in the heart so hard, she had no doubt it left a bruise.

Drawing in air, her lungs only accepted a tiny bit, making her breath shudder. She had no idea what this was about, but somehow, one thing was extra clear. Steve knew she'd been with Chase.

I didn't do anything wrong. I'm not guilty.
But freaking hell if she didn't feel as if she'd been dipped, rolled, and deep-fried in the ugly emotion.

“I won't keep you long,” he said, the somber sound of his tone echoing in Della's head.

“Sure.” She picked up her phone so she wouldn't miss Burnett's call—a call that would once again put her with Chase.

Two choices,
her mind chanted.
Let Steve go or refuse to work with Chase.

She stood up, knowing what she had to do. Dread and nerve-splitting pain spilled out of her heart, into her chest, flowed into her limbs, and traveled all the way up to her scalp and down to her feet. Even her pinkie toe hurt.

She was five-foot-three of nothing but raw pain. But the only thing that would hurt worse than losing Steve was knowing she was hurting him.

Decision made. Ready to crash and burn, she started toward Steve.

*   *   *

Steve led the way through the woods. He seemed to know where he was going. She didn't even note his direction, she just followed, her heart and mind on what she had to do.

He never spoke; neither did she. Their footsteps seemed to be swallowed by the trees, as if they breathed in sound and not air.

He stopped at a spot right next to the swimming hole, abandoned by most of the campers due to the fall cold. The vampires, more resistant to the temperature than the others, still came here, but not nearly as much. It just seemed much more fun when all the campers participated.

Today, however, there were no sounds of laughter or splashing, the water lying so still, it became a mirror to the fall-dressed trees. Yellow and orange and an occasional patch of red leaves reflected on the quiet stillness of the lake. Della tried to pull some calm from the vision that some saw as beautiful. She failed. Fall meant death to the leaves, and Della sensed some part of her would die here today as well.

The sound of Steve's breathing had Della looking away from the water and to him.

His brown eyes reflected regret, sorrow, pain. And was that guilt?

“I can't do this anymore.” They had spoken in unison, and the same words.

She saw the surprise on Steve's face that she knew she wore on hers. Her throat tightened.

“I didn't do anything wrong.” She wasn't sure why she had to say it, but it felt important. Steve didn't deserve to feel betrayed. And maybe she didn't want to be thought of as a betrayer, either.

He took a step closer. So close, he could touch her if he chose to. He didn't choose to. And that almost brought her to tears. “Nothing's happened between—”

“I know.” He stuffed his hands into his pockets. He shuffled his feet and stared down at the ground, but not before she saw that hint of what looked like guilt again. An ugly thought hit … had Steve betrayed her? Had he and Jessie hooked up? Had she been wrong to trust him?

“You?” she asked, and she didn't have to say more. When he looked up, she knew he understood her question.

“No. God, no.” There was honesty in his tone and she believed him.

He exhaled and ran a hand over his face. “You were dying, Della,” he stated as if he had a speech planned but forgot the beginning. “That day, when Chase called me … he told me that you two would be bonded. I'd never heard of anything like that, but I also knew it didn't matter. If saving you meant losing you, I'd do it. But now…”

His eyes grew darker, and Della's grew moist. “You haven't lost me,” she said. Suddenly wanting to take it all back. She couldn't lose him.

“Not completely, but…”

When he didn't continue, she said, “You told me you wouldn't let the bond thing change things,” she reminded him, even though she knew letting go was right—even when she accepted this had to happen—but for some reason it still felt wrong.

“I know, and I thought I could do it. But when I think about you and him—”

“I haven't done anything. We haven't—”

He pulled a hand out of his pocket and pressed a finger over her lips. “I know.” His warm touch brought more tears to her eyes and she felt a few slip from her lashes onto her cheek. “What we have”—he waved a hand between them—“it's real and I want it more than you know. But there's something—something between you and Chase, too. I saw it in the way you two looked at each other today.”

He'd seen it? Seen it today?
“What…? How…?”

“When Burnett called and you didn't show up, I went to Chase's cabin. I'd followed him there a while back.”

Della remembered the bird, the one Chase had pointed out to her, and now she knew it had been Steve. “You have so little faith in me that…”

“It isn't you I don't trust. It's Chase. It's this whole bond thing. I've waited for weeks for you to assure me that it isn't real, that it means nothing, but you never have.”

He swiped a hand over his forehead. “Not that I can blame you for that, either. You didn't want to lie to me, and when I saw the way you two looked at each other, I knew I couldn't do this anymore.”

She felt the need to say something, but what? So she didn't speak, she just stood there and listened as he told her good-bye.

“All I've thought about these last few weeks is you and him. Holding my breath, waiting for the other shoe to drop. I've resorted to following him around. I'm so eaten up with jealously that I can't think straight. This isn't me. I hate feeling this way.” He ran another hand over his face. “All my life, I've felt as if I took second place to my parents' careers. To their dreams, and their goals. I don't want to be someone's second anymore.”

Damn that hurt. “You think you're second? How could—?”

He ignored her and continued, “Do you realize how long it took me to get you to even give me the time of day? And that low…” He paused as if admitting the truth cost him something—like pride. “Chase comes here, and in no time, he's got you wrapped up in him. I don't want to compete for your affection.”

She wiped the tears from her face. “It's not a competition.”

“It feels like it.” He dropped his hands back in his pockets. “Besides, you just told me you couldn't do this, either. You know I'm right.”

“Yeah.”
But for different reasons.
She wasn't letting him go because she couldn't trust him, but because she thought she was hurting him.

He let out a big heartfelt puff of air. “We need to take some time.”

Time?
Another few tears slipped from her lashes. It looked as if he noticed because he started to reach for her.

“No.” Confused, she held out her hand to stop his touch. He wasn't breaking up with her? Just wanting a reprieve. That felt … wrong.

He tried to reach for her again.

“I'm fine.” Her voice trembled along with her heart with that bold-faced lie, but she reined in what little strength she had. No matter how much this hurt, she had to accept it was for the best.

He nodded, and again looked away as if struggling to find the right way to say something. But hadn't he already said it?

“I'm leaving,” he finally blurted out.

She hadn't thought she could feel more pain, but his words did it. Steve was leaving. She wouldn't see him anymore. Her heart did a complete tumble in her chest.

The questions left her mouth before she could stop them. “Leaving Shadow Falls? Why? Where?”

“To France. There's a school in Paris. It's especially for shape-shifters. It's very elite, they only invite two or three a year, and both Perry and I were asked to attend for some special classes.”

She heard it—the tiniest bit of pride in his voice. He was excited. He had a right to be, she told herself. Yet, all that pain twisted inside her until she felt anger. “Excuse me if I don't congratulate you.” A voice inside her head said her rage was unjustified. Or was it? “How long have you known about the invitation?” The question came out like an accusation.

He stared at her, confused—or was that guilt again?

“How long?”

When he didn't answer, she blurted out her thoughts. “Are you just using this whole ‘Chase' thing as a way to justify your leaving?”

He shook his head. “I found out a month ago, but I hadn't made up my mind about going.”

He'd known about this for a month? A month that he'd been working his way into her heart, stealing kisses, making her care, and the whole time he'd been considering leaving?

She closed her eyes for a second, dealing with the swarm of emotions. His earlier words finally sank in. She snapped her eyes open. “Wait, did you say Perry's going?”

He nodded. “It's such an honor to be invited. He can't turn it down.” She thought of her roommate/best friend losing her beloved Perry. The witch was going to be miserable, inconsolable. And Della would be right there with her. Hell, Della was even going to miss Perry.

Steve just stood there staring. Della blinked away a few more tears, knowing this was what her roommate had been holding back from her. Thankfully, she was so emotionally bombarded over Steve, over what Miranda was feeling, that she didn't have any angst to aim at the girl for keeping secrets.

Nope. All her angst went in one direction. Right at the sexy shape-shifter standing in front of her. “Enjoy France.” She turned to walk away, but heard him say her name. For some unknown reason—just call her a masochist—she turned around.

“This isn't all about the school, Della! Did I want to go to the school? Hell, yes. Did I feel torn about going and leaving you? Yes. But then it occurred to me that it wasn't just about missing you that made me not want to go. It was about losing you. Losing you to Chase. And that's when I started questioning everything. And then I saw you two staring at each other and I knew … I knew that even if I passed up the school opportunity, there was a good chance I'd still lose you. There is something between you two and you need to figure it out. And I can't stick around and watch it without going crazy.”

She nodded, giving him that much. But if he wanted her to say it was okay—okay that he'd pushed his way through her guard, gotten her to care about him, all the while knowing he was going to leave—well, that wasn't okay!

A month ago, she could have let him go and not hurt so much, if only he'd let her be. If only he hadn't pushed his way into her nightly runs. Into her life. Into her heart.

He started talking and she had to concentrate to hear his words, because on the inside all she could hear was her heart breaking. “The classes could last from three weeks to six months,” he said, “depending on how things go. There is a chance that I could be accepted full-time, and that would mean four years, but that's a very small chance.” His eyes grew wet with emotion and the knot in her throat doubled.

No matter why he was leaving, or if he was right or wrong, it was still hurting him. But was that her fault? He'd been the one initiating the kisses on all those late-night runs.

But now she saw the raw pain in his eyes. And damn it, she still cared. Cared because he was hurting.

A bolt of achiness shot right to her chest. How could his pain hurt her more than her own?

She wanted to fall right there on the ground and sob. No, not just sob, but beg him not to go. Beg him to understand the whole bond thing when she didn't understand it herself. How unfair was that?

“I imagine I'll be back in a few months,” he said. “Maybe … maybe while I'm away you can…” He stared down at his feet for a second. “You need to figure out exactly what this bond thing is, and what it isn't. Maybe then we can … see how things stand.”

She didn't know what to say. But those damn “maybes” hurt. Hurt too much to think, much less to try to form words.

Her phone rang and she knew it was Burnett telling her it was time to leave.

She didn't even answer it. “I have to go,” she said, and she did. In one leap, she was at the top of the trees. She left the stillness of the lake. She left Steve.

Would he even come and say good-bye? Or was this good-bye?

She heard him call her name, but this time, she didn't look back.

 

Chapter Fifteen

Kylie and Miranda sat ready, waiting and worried on the cabin porch. As she moved up the stairs, Della saw leftover tears in Miranda's eyes. A watery mist, much like the one Della would've had if she hadn't taken a few seconds to wipe away the evidence.