Eternal Hearts (5 page)

“Why here, 8-Ball?”
She twisted so his hand fell from her shoulder then backed away from him. “Of all the places in Chicago for me to meet you and Brick, why the hell did he pick here?”

The muscles in his jaw flexed hard. “You said you wanted honesty, so I’ll give it to you.” He folded his arms over his chest. “He said he wanted to make you think long and hard about why you came back. Said he hoped if you had to stand right there, you’d think about the choices you made the last time you were here and how it all could’ve gone different.”

Toni couldn’t do anything but blink as a sharp pain burst to life in the center of her chest. She struggled for a breath as dozens of bloodstained images flashed in her mind. “How it could’ve gone different?” She squeezed her hands closed tight when the beast stirred in her stomach. “All I’ve thought about for the last three years is how that night could’ve gone different. How I could have stopped her…how I could’ve saved them. So don’t tell me I need to stand in front of this damn building to think about what I did. It’s all I think about. It’s all I dream about. Most days…it’s the only thing I have left!”

When 8-Ball stepped forward and attempted to wrap her up in his arms, she wrenched herself free then shoved him back against the glass. “No! You wanted me to stand here. You wanted me to relive it all. But guess what?” She couldn’t hold back her tears any longer, so she quit trying. “I don’t need to relive it all…because what you don’t understand is that I’m still
living
it!” She gnashed her teeth together as scarlet flames erupted at the edges of her vision. “Every time I see a table, I see my mother’s heart lying in the middle of it. I see my brother and sister tied to the chairs. And no matter how hard I try…I still can’t save them. So I just stand there, watching it happen all over again, just like I did back then.”

“I’m sorry about what happened to your family, Toni. You know I am.” He craned his neck, seemingly transfixed for a moment by the dark clouds gathering above The Rivers Building, but then lowered his head and shot her a knowing glare. “I don’t blame you for going after Stryker. I would’ve gone after the bitch, too. But the
way
you did it.” The muscles in his jaw flexed again as he shook his head. “What would’ve happened if you’d killed Stryker down on Rush Street, Toni? What would you have done next? Run off into the city looking for Oktober? Do you have any idea what would’ve happened if you’d found
him
? His Ancient ass would’ve chewed you up then spit you right the fuck out, that’s what would’ve happened. Then we’d have been burying you right along with your family.”

Toni stared straight into 8-Ball’s eyes as the beast dug its razor sharp claws into her stomach. “If I’d known Oktober then, if I’d known
anything
about him…” She ground her teeth together. “I would have gone after him first.”

8-Ball rolled his eyes. “So is that why you came back? To finish what you started? You gonna go after Oktober? You gonna suicide yourself so you can finally be with your family?” He straightened then slowly narrowed his eyes on her. “Or is that what you were trying to do the first time around, but Stryker just couldn’t get the job done?”

“I didn’t come back for Oktober or Stryker. I just wanted to come home!” She pressed her fingertips against her mouth as a sob caught in her throat. “I’ve never even seen their graves, 8-Ball. I just wanna tell them I’m sorry. I just wanna tell them I loved them…that I still love them. That I wish I could have saved them. That I tried, but I couldn’t.”

Toni shook the tears from her eyes as 8-Ball slowly faded away, only to be replaced by unwanted memories that stretched and distorted in her mind. She saw herself staring at the television in her old apartment, saw her own face twist in horror as something red streaked across the screen then landed with a sick, wet thud in the center of a familiar table. The table she used to eat at when she was little. The table her family used to sit at, in a house once filled with more unconditional love than she’d ever found anywhere else, or since the day she’d left.

She heard her brother and sister scream when the thing on the table moved. Listened to Ray and Isabel cry for help as blood sprayed all over them and everything else in the room. They’d never sounded so scared, never looked more terrified…until
he
stepped in front of the camera.

She would never forget Oktober’s swirling black eyes. Never forget watching him sink his fangs into her mother’s heart. Never ever be able to forget what followed, or the sound of
her own
sister moaning his name.

Toni snapped back to the present at the sound of 8-Ball’s voice. She stared blindly at the wavering figure standing in front of her. “I only went after Stryker because of the note,” she breathed. “Oktober said to thank her for the address. I didn’t know him. I didn’t even know where to start looking for him. But I knew I could find her…I wanted to find her.” She blinked away a fresh round of tears. “Maybe I did the wrong thing that night. Maybe I overreacted. But if it was your family she sold out, if it was your brother…would you have done any different?”

This time when 8-Ball rested his hands on her shoulders, she didn’t move. “It’s not that I don’t care about you or what you’ve been through, Toni. But Brick’s my Sire, and he’s risking a hell of a lot by letting you back in without Locke’s permission. Do you really blame him for trying to make sure you’ve thought this through? If
you
were him, would you do any different?”

Toni tried hard to push her own pain aside for a moment and put herself in Brick’s shoes. She did her best to imagine how difficult the situation must be for him, considering what she’d asked could very well get him and his Children permanently banned from the city, or worse.

Would she do the same if the roles were reversed? Would she risk the only home she’d ever known to help a friend?

She’d like to think she would. She’d like to believe she’d do anything to help someone she cared about. But she also had to admit that she’d probably be just as determined to make that friend think about what they were asking, even if it meant taking them back to the very place everything went so horribly wrong.

“I don’t blame him.” She tipped her head back and looked up at 8-Ball. “I just wish I could go straight to Locke instead of getting you and Brick involved. If this whole plan blows up, I’d rather it explode in my face – not yours. The last thing I want is someone else to get hurt because of me.”

“Hey, we made the choice to get involved.” He lowered his hands from her shoulders and rubbed her arms. “When you first called, we could’ve told you where to find Lord Locke, just like you asked. We also could’ve stood back and watched you waltz right up to his front door.” He flashed a devious grin. “God knows the look on his face would’ve been priceless.”

“You know, you and Brick could wash your hands of me right now if you’d just tell me where he lives.” Though she didn’t truly feel it, she offered him her sweetest smile then sang the words, “It’s not too late to give Mr. Fancy Pants a panic attack.”

8-Ball burst out laughing. “Oh, it’s tempting, it’s damn tempting, but that man would kick my ass if he found out I told you where he lives. A little known fact about Mr. FP, or the Armani Avenger, as I like to call him, is that he can throw a beat down like you’ve never seen. And while I like a good fight, I like ones I know I can win even better.”

She arched a brow. “Armani Avenger?”

“Yeah, he likes that better than Mr. Fancy Pants. He thinks your term of endearment sounds more like a name for a male stripper. Needless to say, it doesn’t fit well with his image and all.”

Toni slapped her hands over her face, but peeked up at 8-Ball between her fingers. “He knows I call him that?”

“Of course he does.” He leaned in close and pressed a kiss to her forehead. “It’s not like you were ever shy about it.”

Toni let her arms fall and tried to keep her body from following. She waved as much frigid night air towards her face as possible when her world suddenly grew much smaller.

She’d driven for days to meet with Brick and 8-Ball, spent what little money she’d managed to save on gas, worried for two weeks about how much trouble her friends might get into because of her...and for what? So that Lord Christian Locke, Mr. Fancy Pants himself, could laugh in her face for even thinking he’d let her back in to Chicago?

What the hell had she been thinking?

Maybe she hadn’t been thinking, maybe that was the problem.

She stiffened as fear seized and tightened every muscle in her chest. Locke would never let her come back home and she’d been stupid to believe otherwise. She should’ve stayed on the outskirts of Albuquerque where no one knew her. She should’ve never called Brick in the first place. And more than anything, she should have never accepted his offer to talk to Locke on her behalf. No, much like every other decision in her life, she’d made this one way too fast, without weighing all the potential consequences.

Toni whirled around, prepared to bolt straight for her Trans-Am when Brick’s black Chevy Avalanche slid to a stop on the street in front of her. He opened the door, slammed it closed, and was standing in front of her before she ever had a chance to move her feet.

“I know that look, Honey,” he drawled, his southern twang more pronounced than she remembered. “Don’t even think about it. Everything’s gonna be fine. Everybody’s gonna be fine. Don’t freak out on me now.”

She stared up into his gray eyes, wishing she possessed even a shred of the calm he seemed to be made of. “How do you know that, Brick? What if it’s not fine? What if he kills you? What if he kills 8-Ball? He can do that, ya know. No one will stop him. I can’t let that happen. I have to leave. I should’ve never come. I should have stayed…” Her words became nothing more than muffled sounds when Brick reached out, palmed the back of her head with one hand, and then pushed her face into the soft white t-shirt covering his wide chest.

“What you need to do is take a deep breath.” His other arm locked tight around her shoulders as 8-Ball’s loud laughter rang in her ears. “Damn, I know us Thugs can mood swing better than anyone, but Lord girl, you’re going in fifteen different directions. And I can’t very well yell at you and your brainless bald friend over there if you’re already upset.” He gently stroked her hair. “I hate seeing you cry.”

Toni flattened her hands against Brick’s hard chest and pushed herself back just far enough to look up at his weathered face again. “Why would you yell at us? We haven’t done anything yet.”

A stern but genuine smile tugged at his mouth. “Because you’re standing out here on the sidewalk,” he said as he released her, then moved back and pointed at the building, “instead of inside the lobby like I asked.” Irritation crinkled the deep lines at the corners of his eyes. “The last thing I need is for someone to see you standing out here.”

She slowly turned her head to glare at 8-Ball. “Why didn’t you tell me we were supposed to be inside? Does it look like I need any extra help getting into trouble?”

He gave her a droll stare. “No, you don’t. But with the fit you threw over standing out here, I figured the last place you wanted to be was in there. So excuse the fuck
outta
me if my concern for your emotional well-being made me a little hesitant to suggest we go inside.”

“Well, I can see some things never change,” Brick groaned as he rolled his eyes. He motioned towards the lobby again. “How about you two do me a favor and take the argument inside where God and everyone else in the world can’t see you.”

“Don’t worry, Brick,” a deep, gravelly voice called from behind them. “Even God’s not crazy enough to be out here right now.”

Toni turned around fully expecting to see a big guy, considering the gruff timbre of his voice, but big didn’t even begin to describe the man standing only a few feet away. She didn’t have to crane her neck to see his face, but she did have to tip her head back a bit.

And what a face that is.
She pressed her lips together in response to the errant thought. The last thing she needed to be doing was ogling some hot guy who had…the most depressing set of blue eyes she’d ever seen.

She blinked hard then looked again. For a split second his deep set eyes appeared almost friendly, maybe even jovial, but then it was like some invisible curtain lifted, revealing so much sadness and pain she wondered how he could move with that much weight on his shoulders.