Eternal Soulmate (3 page)

~Ashlynn~

I took a cab and headed to Gulf Shores Hotel. I was exhausted from the flight, not that it was long, but just because of the stress of flying, I loathed it. Then I got to sit next to a man that was incredibly attractive and I kept having thoughts of him in my head.
Hell I hadn’t had these thoughts since college and never to this extreme.
I kept picturing him naked, his tongue in my mouth, on my neck and licking……
see what the Hell Ashlynn. Snap out of it.
Cooper was gorgeous, but he also had the personality to match. What are the chances? He calmed me like he has known me for years. He was a breath of fresh air and his smile, there are no words. Just thinking of Cooper made me smile.

I paid the cab and walked into the hotel bar and saw a man sitting there with a baseball cap on that looked like Cooper’s. There was no way in hell that Cooper was sitting there. I checked in and got my key. I took another quick glance at the man that looked like Cooper and tried not to make it obvious and realized it was Cooper. I tapped him on the shoulder and he turned around and there was that smile. 
Damn. Now what? Self control damn it. Remember Ashlynn, the few men you have had relationships with were pure shit, lower than shit, scum
. I have only had a few boyfriends and they all were losers. It would have been helpful to know that before the relationship. Two of the pricks could not keep their dick in their pants and one would rather get shit faced every day and smoke pot. A woman has got to love “cowboys”. After making it through these relationships which I thought were my serious boyfriends, resulted in my issues with dating men. I sure didn’t have good examples growing up and I refuse to let my brain take me on that track right now. I knew what Grace and McKoy would say right now. I laughed to myself and smiled.  “Girl, take a risk. You don’t have to let your head and heart get involved. Have fun, get laid and move on.” Grace would have of course, thrown in at least two cuss words.

Cooper grabbed my hand and winked. “What are the chances we would be staying at the same hotel, Ashlynn? Are you hungry? I’m starving! Would you care to join me?”

I was having this internal struggle. Should I stay or not?
Damn it.

Cooper continues. “We are both here and it has been a long day. I can’t think of another person I would rather spend my dinner with.”

I throw my hands up in surrender. “Why not? But I have one question, did you know when you asked me where I was staying you were staying here and why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did know but I didn’t want to freak you out. You were already a nervous wreck. I really didn’t even think we would run into each other although I won’t lie, I’d hoped we would. I am actually here to escort someone back to Austin early tomorrow.”

We sat in the hotel restaurant and ate a steak and shrimp dinner. I had a glass of wine and started to relax. I couldn’t help staring in his eyes. I kept trying to figure out what was different about them. When he talked, his eyes didn’t lie. They looked like they had this hope and trust in them. He reached across the table and stroked my hand.
Damn it felt good
. I don’t remember ever being touched by a man so minimally and having flames on my skin. He gave me goose bumps and I swear I felt like I had a swimming pool in my panties. There was never a quiet moment.

We kept the conversation light and he sipped on a beer. Clearly neither of us were big drinkers as the entire dinner we only had that one drink. Trust me, I watched.  We were both comfortable with each other. This was unfamiliar territory for me and I am sensing it was for Cooper too.

He was a perfect gentleman and paid for dinner and then walked me up to my room. He even carried my bag. Chivalry was not dead after all.  He kissed me on the cheek and told me good night. Never in my life have I wanted a man to drag me in his room and ravish me like I do with Cooper. This man had this effect on me. I could lose my heart and soul with this man. I know I could, I felt it in my bones. He made sure I got in the room and then I peeked out the peephole and then heard the door shut. He was in the room right beside me!!! Holy hell, this could be bad. No, it can’t. Yes, it can.
No, Ashlynn, you have total self control so use it!

I plopped down on my bed and called McKoy immediately. I felt like I had been on a first date and had to tell someone.

“Hey McKoy, it’s me. I made it to the hotel safe. I had a good flight, well as good as it can be for me, girl, you know how I am. I met a gorgeous man on the plane who just happened to buy me dinner and now he is right next door from….”

“SCREEECHHHHHH, Oh my god Ash, No way. How hot is he? What did he look like?  What are you waiting for? Go get you some girl! You have to let go and live.”

I don’t think McKoy took a single breath in between those sentences.

McKoy always has this innocence about her, but behind the bedroom door she was a total different person. She was a one man type of woman though. She didn’t play the field. She already knew whom she wanted to spend the rest of her life with. McKoy was just waiting for Beau to understand what was right in front of his face. She made her man work for it. I guess that came from her being close to her grandfather and being held to his high standards. I wasn’t so lucky.

“McKoy, he is gorgeous. The most gorgeous man I’ve ever seen, like a 10! His eyes look like they can see right through me. His smile is earth shaking. His body would fit perfect against mine. I actually have already been picturing him on top of me. What the hell is that, Mc? Seriously that is not how I work. He is a perfect gentleman and he says the sweetest words to me. He tries to protect me and he barely even knows me.”

“Ashlynn, stop this nonsense. He might be all that but look girl this is not about anything other than letting go and having a good time. What will it hurt? Just shut off your never-ending list and let go!  Stop over thinking everything damn it. Relax and let whatever is going to happen, happen. That way you don’t have any regrets. Every man is not like every male you’ve known for that matter. Your mom……..”

“Mc… don’t…” I could feel my eyes filling with tears already building up and I held the phone away from my ear for a minute.

“Ash, all I am trying to tell you is give it a chance. Let your guard down. If you don’t you might never meet your destined fate. I know what you saw growing up, I was with you. I know what you went through with the losers you dated. I know what you see every day and how you want to solve everyone’s problems at the shelter, but you have to be happy too. Don’t be afraid to be happy, don’t be afraid of him and most of all don’t be afraid of getting hurt.  You have to take risks. Listen to me, listen to your heart, and if your heart says jump on him, do it. No regrets bestie.  Call me in the morning, love you girl.”

“No regrets Mc, good night. Love you too blondie.”

I took a bath and soaked for a good hour. It felt so good after a long day. I slipped on my extra long t-shirt, ratty as all get out that I wear to bed, rubbed my lotion on, brushed my teeth and curled up under the sheets. Tomorrow would be an early morning. I sure did miss my Max. He always slept at the end of my bed where my feet were like he is guarding me.  He was the perfect dog, a fawn boxer.

As I lay drifting off to sleep I thought of Cooper’s smile and could almost feel his touch on my hand. I touched my hand where he kissed me earlier and wished I had something with his smell on it to breathe in.

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~Ashlynn ~

McKoy and Grace were my two soul sisters. They are like my sun and my moon, totally different girls, but I need them just the same. McKoy is a petite girl with beautiful long blonde hair with hazel eyes. She was perfect and always looked the part.

McKoy is a one man kind of woman. She met Beau in high school and from that instant she started to plan her whole life around him. She knew the minute their eyes locked that he was her soul mate and she worshipped him.

McKoy came from a home that was wealthy and strict. Her parents expected her to live a high society life. Beau’s parents were very much the same. His family did not want him consumed by women and wanted him to play all the sports. His parents had his whole future planned for him as did McKoy’s. She was expected to take over her grandparent’s winery after college. McKoy’s parents didn’t like Beau from the get go. He was a playboy the way they saw it. They also knew very well how Beau’s father was and how he ran around on his mother. McKoy’s parents knew how badly she loved Beau. From their side, they just hoped he would screw it up and McKoy wouldn’t get hurt permanently in the process.

Beau feels the same connection with McKoy and wants to make McKoy his. He cherishes her. She is definitely a challenge, but he’s up for it as McKoy is just as sweet as she is mean. He doesn’t want the life his family expects him to live and he sure as hell won’t treat his wife as his father does his mother. Did his father actually believe his son didn’t know he has a mistress? He would like nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with McKoy. Beau already knew what he wanted to do with his life and it doesn’t include Ivy League college or a high society life.

I could sum up Beau in one word, idiot! He knows what he has in front of him and keeps screwing it up. Granted McKoy would get sick of him and break it off, then he does something sweet and then she takes him back after making him suffer for a while. We have been through this at least 10 times.  At this point, I told McKoy shit or get off the pot, no more of this. We aren’t getting any younger. Personally, yes, I want them together. I know one day when he becomes a man he will be wonderful, he is just taking a little longer than some, well longer than Cooper. He is really the only one I can judge it by.

In our inner circle, we all have our parts. McKoy is the nurturing of us three. She wants us all always to get along, the most common sense girl, and makes us rethink everything. She wants nothing more than to settle down and start a family. She does what is expected with the exception of Beau, he’s the only rule she’s broken with her family.

Well, you could imagine I am the emotional one; yes I appear strong but am a mess of weakness when I come across my fears.  I am the organizer in the group.  I try to keep us all together no matter what might happen, probably due to them being the only stability I have had in years. I’m the realistic girl. I call it like I see it with no apologies.

Grace is the wild; kick your ass kind of girl. She was that friend that all kids have that your parents don’t want you to be friends with. She’ll get you in trouble and have a great time doing it. She will beat the shit out of anyone that messes with us. Grace is a total tomboy and so optimistic. Her parents are divorced, but she is super close to her dad. Her daddy is a mechanic and she is going to run his business after he retires. It’s the only place she’s ever worked and she’s brilliant at it. She knows more about cars than any man I know. It’s amazing to watch her talk about it. Many men are intimidated by her and they should be.  She can look under any hood and fix just about anything.

She is a tough, cussing, shit talking girl and I love her to pieces.  She is a naturally beautiful brunette with the most beautiful blue eyes. She has guys chasing her and always has. She likes racers and motorcycles, the typical bad boy. If he isn’t a bad boy when he starts dating Grace, he will be when he’s done.

We three girls have always had a taste for different types of guys, which worked to our advantage because we never had a fight over a boy! Grace the dangerous boy, McKoy the jock and me the cowboys.
Which got me nowhere but heartbreak!

Grace is my go to girl when it comes to sex or anything with boys. She always tried to push me to that next level to get me to come out of my shell. She was the most experienced in our group sexually and was our information bank. “Miss Grace official sex expert reporting”. 

She is the most honest person I know and afraid of nothing. She has no intention on settling down anytime soon and she doesn’t let people get close
. We all have our own reasons, don’t we?
There are more times than I can count Grace has come to my rescue.

One night when I was younger Grace stayed the night with me and she was witness to one of the horrible fights my parents were having.  She was comforting me and confessed what she had been going through with her stepdad. It was horrible but then at that moment I saw how strong she was and how I could be too. I could be strong even when I didn’t feel like it was possible. If she could, I could too. We fell asleep that night lying against my door pinned against it so no one could come in as we cuddled next to each other. She was my strength that night and has been many other nights.

Chapter 5

14 years earlier

~Ashlynn~

McKoy and I were sitting under the tree we always sat under for lunch. I befriended McKoy the minute she moved into Austin in sixth grade. She had actually moved from private school to public. I knew who everyone was but was not very social, unfortunately, a consequence of my bad home life. I never wanted to invite anyone over because you never knew what was going to happen. McKoy always wanted someone over at her house so it worked out perfect. We were like two peas in a pod.

We got involved in different things at school but never lost our balance. It was a true friendship. The longer we were close, the better our friendship got, just like a fine wine.  McKoy knew everything about my home life and she understood why I had my quirks. I had to sleep with the door locked and had to have a night light on or why any sound would wake me up out of a deep slumber.

McKoy would never let me back down from her. She called bullshit on me when I needed bullshit called on me. She let me set my limits though and knew when she could push them. McKoy was a true spirit, soft spoken and was an observer. She saw everything and knew everything that was going on around here. She was just different in the way of most girls that she didn’t care to get involved in all the he said, she said.

As we got older we started to date boys, but McKoy saw how I was not letting my guard down. McKoy babied me and protected me, she stood guard when I needed the protection. When nights got bad at my house, I would call McKoy just to hear her voice. She was my calm in the storm. I depended on her like she was my right hand.

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Freshman year~

McKoy exclaimed, “I can’t believe we are finally freshman Ash! Aren’t you nervous? Why are you so calm?”

I rolled my eyes. “It’s not that big of a deal McKoy, it is just school. Anything is better than being in my house. I would take any school and anywhere just to escape from that.”

“I wonder if there are going to be a lot of new people or boys. You know they send all the kids from Deer Creek here.”

I reminded McKoy of our plan. “Just stick to our plan and meet at the tree on the left outside that window for lunch.” I pointed the direction of the tree. 

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Lunchtime~

We were sitting under a tree eating our lunches. I was drinking a Diet Coke and McKoy always opting for her water. We were comparing schedules and gossiping about the guys we have seen at school so far.

“Hey, can I sit with ya’ll? It sure as shit beats sitting in a stuffy cafeteria. My name is Grace.”  She pointed at me. “Aren’t you in my history class?”

“Yep sure am, I’m Ashlynn and this is McKoy. This is our new official meeting spot for lunch. We can scope out everybody at a distance.”

“Cool, I just came from Deer Creek and me and my best girlfriends got separated when they split our school. Totally sucks, but it is what it is, right?” Grace sounded so confident.

McKoy got right to it. “We were just talking about the hot guys we saw today. Hey, I think Kyle and Beau went to your school, right? What’s their story?”

Grace smiled “Holy hell already! I knew girls would be chopping at the bit for them. Kyle is one nice piece of ass, isn’t he? His daddy used to work with mine before my daddy started his own business. He is a good boy trying to be bad. He slacks off at school but don’t let him fool you, he is serious as shit when it comes to his cars and racing. Beau well hell, he is exactly what you see. Sexy as hell, but cocky too. He is amazing I mean AMAZING, at every sport he does. Football, baseball, golf, you name it, well he kind of sucks at basketball. He and my cousin played in the leagues together for years. He will be outta here after high school with his talent.  That smile of his will bring you down to your knees if you know what I am saying.” She moved her eyebrows up and down and we all start laughing. I spit out my Diet Coke laughing and tried to catch my breath.

Oh my God Grace was exactly what we needed.  Ever since that day freshman year, we have been inseparable. We take up for each other, piss each other, laugh with each other and most importantly cry with each other.

It wasn’t long after we started freshman year McKoy started dating Beau. He was respectful and actually respected her wishes to stay a virgin. While Beau might respect it, that didn’t mean he doesn’t try. He worships her. He understands the pressure she has on her to run her grandfather’s winery one day as he is getting the same from his dad to go to an Ivy League college to play ball which he has no interest in. He wants to stay where he is and live a normal life. Shit his body is already feeling the damage from years of sports. 

Our sophomore year Grace and Kyle started dating. She knows more than he does about cars and it turns him on big time. She’s much more aggressive than him. They moved quickly to a physical relationship and she was the first in our close circle to do the “deed”. I don’t know if our first times would compare to Grace’s. Grace convinced Kyle to somehow sneak off to the race track and the trailers that hold the race cars. From what I heard he loved to put her on his car hood. My crazy Grace! He is a good boy, but, Grace was working on turning him into a bad one. When she is able to combine her two passions, cars and men she is happier than a pig in mud.

Sophomore year is when I also got my first “boyfriend” or heartbreak was more like it. McKoy set me up on a double date with one of Beau’s buddies, Tac Davis. We hit it off and dated for a year. Tac was cheating on me after seven months! I had heard rumors but I couldn’t take other people’s word for it. He treated me pretty good at first, but I was starting to sense after a couple months he was up to no good. You know when you get that feeling that someone is lying to you all the time or that their stories weren’t adding up right? I went to his house one night hoping he could reassure me and found out, as I usually do, the hard way. I caught that prick in the act in his car cheating on me. I walked up to the car and saw some girl on top of Tac topless.  I couldn’t believe what my eyes were seeing. I yanked open the car door, gave him a smile, flipped him off, called him a douche bag and to fuck himself. Tac shoved the other girl off him and tried chasing after me. I had enough of a head start to get far enough ahead of him so he didn’t stand a chance.  There was nothing he could have said to change my mind. I didn’t do second chances. 

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Junior year, the heartbreaks kept occurring. McKoy was out of town with her family at her grandfather’s the night that Eric broke my heart. I thought I loved him. What a joke! He was a loser from the get go, but when your two best girlfriends have boyfriends I felt left out more than half the time. It wasn’t their fault. They tried to divide up their time but with school, Grace playing softball and McKoy playing soccer then their boyfriends it didn’t leave much for me.  I asked Grace to set me up with one of Kyle’s friends. Shit big mistake. He was a total ass hat. We only went out on a few dates and that idiot actually was trying to get in my pants. Ahhhhh NO!

Grace and Kyle invited me and Eric out to a moon tower one fall night. It was supposed to be a big group of people so I thought what the hell? If the date went to shit I could go hang out with some friends. It was supposed to be a beautiful night and anything beat staying at my house.  I planned to stay the night at Grace’s as my mom was strict on where I went and how I got there. Grace’s mom isn’t so much so it works out great.  My mom trusted me but said “she didn’t trust other people.” The pot calling the kettle black. Shit, I was safer anywhere than at my own home. How many people could say that?

We went to get Eric and headed to the moon tower. It was on some property that was abandoned. Over 30 people had been here already drinking. We got out and all got a drink. About an hour after listening to Eric brag about himself I was ready to puke. A cocky man is so disgusting especially when you have nothing to be cocky about. Grace came up to pull me away to find a place to go the bathroom.  No bathrooms were around so we had to find a tree to hide behind. Not a big deal, but you always wanted someone you could trust to stand guard when you weren’t familiar with where you were.  We found a place to take care of our business and head back to our guys or so I thought. We walked up and Kyle was standing by some other dudes talking about his car.
Blah, blah, blah
.

“Where is Eric?”

“I have no idea. I was talking to Matthew here about his car that he just had redone.”

I heard moaning sounds and started to put my finger to my mouth to tell everyone standing close to be quite. I heard it even louder. Then I heard “Yes, Eric that feels so good!”

What the hell? Did I just hear what I thought I heard? Everyone turned to look at me.  Grace looked at me and started shaking her head at me. Her eyes said it all. She heard the exact same thing I heard.

Grace looked at me and got pissed all to hell. “I am going to cut off his fucking balls when I find him for doing this to you.”

I stomped around to a couple of the cars that were parked nearby with Grace behind me. I got to a beat up old truck about 25 feet away and I saw him with her in the truck. She was on top of him moving up and down and he was kissing her neck. I walked up to the door and knock on it.

“You are a piece of shit Eric.  I hate you. I can’t believe you found some trash that would give it up to you. We have been dating for three months now and you do this to me?”

“Ashlynn, I have been screwing this girl all along when I was dating you. You’re such a nun I had to do something to get off.”

“Fuck off Eric. I hope you enjoy sleeping with this whore because I am done with your trashy ass. You’re a loser!”

Grace came up to me and grabbed my hand.

“Eric, you better watch your nasty ass because when you least expect it, I am going to fuck up your life for hurting my girl you useless prick!”

She pulled me toward her and she flashed two bottles of Boone Farms Strawberry Hill in her hands. Crap we all know where this was going to lead!  She didn’t say anything to me, but she grabbed my hand again and led me to the moon tower. She looked up and pointed.

“Hell no Grace! No fucking way!  The night can’t get any worse. The way my luck is going I will fall off, although to be honest at this point I might welcome it.”
Well maybe that would put me out of my misery.

“Come on Ashlynn. It will be like our little tree house. We can go up there and talk and no one can hear our conversation. We can just look at the beautiful moon and stars. Once you see how beautiful it is when we get up there, you won’t care. Kyle knows we are going up so he won’t leave us. He is hanging with some dudes talking about some cars. I’m going to let them try to figure it out for themselves before I go down and tell them how to fix it. Not to mention, he is going to have a little chat with Eric. One hit and that fucker is going to hit the floor.” She winked at me. She sure is a spit fire. I would love to see her put the guys in their place.

I started laughing and it felt so good.
What was there to lose?
“What the hell. I’m newly single again, let’s go celebrate!”

“YEAH!! Get it girl!”

I started to climb up the steps and I could see Grace coming up behind me. I just kept my eye on the goal, getting to the top of the tower to be away from everyone on this ground.

“Keep going girl. You’re doing great! We’re almost there.” Grace knows me so well she knew I was getting ready to chicken out. She knows I’m afraid of heights.

We finally make it up and I sat as far from the edge as I could. I took a deep breath and looked around me. Wow! The sky is so beautiful. Grace was right. We sat in silence for 10 minutes. We were sitting back to back because she could sense I needed the closeness of her, but no words.

“You wanna talk about it? I’m so sorry honey. I would never have set you up with him if I’d have known he was scum.”

“It’s okay Grace. You didn’t know. I have told you time and time again, I seem to bring out the worst in the male species.”

“Ash this has nothing to do with you. You have nothing to do with the men that have done you wrong. You just keep getting dealt a bad hand.”

“Well he wanted too much from me anyway. It would have never worked. Even when we kissed, I felt nothing. No tingles, no butterflies, no nothing. It must not have been meant to be. Just sucks, things always end badly. My mom used to say though, things wouldn’t end if they didn’t end badly.”

“Very true Ashie.”

“Kyle can piss me off to no end. But, he can also be the sweetest guy I have ever met and can he knock my socks off. I have never been so turned on in my life. He can kiss me and touch me in the right spot and make me orgasm.”

“Shit Grace! It must be nice. I don’t even know what the hell one is. I have read in Seventeen Magazine and heard about them, but never gotten close.”

“Well it’s kinda like a……. hmmmmm a sneeze? You know when you have to sneeze really badly and then you do and you get that sense of relief? But much more intense.”

“A sneeze? Are you kidding me? I can sneeze by myself. I don’t need some man treating me bad for that.”

“It’s like a sneeze but much better. There are no words. You will understand once you have one and you will know when you do. Ashlynn, with you honey it’s going to be a connection like nothing you’ve ever had. You’ve had so many bad things happen. When the right man captures your heart and you let your guard down and let him in, it will be unbelievable for you. You connect love with being intimate. I don’t so much.”