Eternal Starling (Emblem of Eternity Trilogy) (17 page)

“I snapped when I saw Alex at the theater,” he explained. “There’s no justification for it, I shouldn’t have done that, especially not with you there.”

I watched his face steadily for signs that he might not be telling me the truth. “What do you mean?” I asked. “What do I have to do with it?”

Emil ran his fingers through his hair. “Alex and I don’t get along and I shouldn’t have put you in the middle. The last thing I ever want is to hurt you, Evie.”

I asked the question I hadn’t gotten a detailed answer to yesterday, “How do you know each other?”

Emil scrubbed his hands over his face. “We met when we were younger. We didn’t get along then. We don’t get along now.”

“Did you do something to him that would make him think you were dangerous?” I asked.

Emil gave a dry laugh. “Do I seem dangerous?”

“No,” I said, noting that he answered my question with another question. “But at the theater, Alex seemed pretty convinced I shouldn’t be around you.” I didn’t add in all the information Alex had told me last night.

Emil shook his head. “Alex has his own opinions. What matters is how you feel. Do
you
think I’m dangerous?”

I assessed him for a long minute, thinking over what Alex had said and taking my own feelings into account. Alex had the tendency to overreact and he seemed to think I was incapable of taking care of myself. However, I’d always had good instincts and when it came to Emil, I didn’t feel threatened. I wasn’t discounting what Alex had said, but I wasn’t going to let fear dictate my choices either. From here on out, I’d get both sides of the story. It didn’t mean I was completely comfortable with Emil and I still had a lot of questions, but I had plenty of time to get those answers. Emil met my eyes with an unwavering gaze and I made my decision.

“No,” I said with resolve. “I don’t.”

Emil’s shoulders were bunched up, like he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. “That’s good,” he said slowly.

I put my hands in my lap and met his eyes. “I had no idea Alex was going to be at the theater. I’m sure it was a surprise for you to see him since he and I used to be together.”

Emil’s face fell like I’d punched him. “Yeah, it wasn’t easy,” he agreed.

I took a deep breath. “Well, I’m sure it won’t happen again. Next time you won’t have a problem telling me what’s going on,” I reasoned.

His face registered shock. “Next time?” he questioned.

I tried to act like it was obvious. “Yeah, next time. You apologized, I accept. Did you think we were going to break up because of a stupid fight over my ex-boyfriend?” I said the words, knowing how confusing they must sound, especially after how I had reacted yesterday when my main reason for breaking up with Emil had been that he was in love with someone else.

The surprise on Emil’s face didn’t subside. “I didn’t know what you wanted. After you got out of the car. . . and the things you said, then you didn’t return my phone call last night. I thought I would have to grovel for a few days at least.”

I laughed. “I’m not that kind of girl,” I assured him. “I don’t like drama any more than guys do.”

Emil grinned. “That’s one of the many reasons I like you.”

I smiled back and we sat in silence for a couple of minutes. I could tell Emil still wanted to say something, but he seemed to be having a difficult time putting it into words.

“Evie,” he finally said. “There’s something else I want to talk to you about.”

Emil got up and came over to the chair I was sitting in. He knelt down in front of it so he was gazing up at me, his hands on the arms of the chair making me feel like I was captured—which, considering what Alex had told me, made me a little uneasy.

“You mentioned something yesterday that I want to . . . clarify. I don’t know how to go about this and was up all night trying to figure it out. I’m not sure it makes any more sense now, but here goes. You said I told you I was in love with someone else, but I’m not. That’s not what I meant. Cassandra was a part of my past, but our time together ended. The only person I want, the only person I
love
, is you.”

My mouth dropped in shock. After our huge fight yesterday, after everything Alex had warned me about, Emil had said he loved me. And we’d only known each other a week. How was I supposed to respond to that? Emil was acting as crazy as Alex. I’m sure my expression once again betrayed me and Emil knew how I was feeling. When I didn’t answer, Emil reached for my hand and kept talking.

“I don’t think I explained my feelings very well when we were on the hike. I want to make it clear. I’ve fallen for you, Evie. When I thought I’d lost you last night, I felt like I was going to lose my mind. I’ve been waiting my whole life to be with you, and don’t ever want to let you go. I need you. Even more than that, I love you.”

I was completely stunned. After a few seconds, I broke the silence with a soft voice, “I . . . I don’t know what to say.”

His expression was full of compassion. “You don’t have to say anything. I know it’s a lot to take in. I just needed to tell you.”

I nodded my head. “Thank you,” I whispered.

Emil leaned forward and kissed my cheek. “No, thank you for listening to me. For giving me another chance.”

I smiled as I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and wondered if he had slept at all. “You should go to bed, you look really tired.”

“I am,” he agreed. “I didn’t sleep. I was too worried about you. About us.”

“Well, now you don’t have to worry about that,” I said.

He rubbed his eyes. “I don’t want to leave you.”

I didn’t want him to think I was trying to get rid of him, but it had been a long weekend and I needed some time alone. I made a split-second decision. My parents were going to the sand dunes in a few days. I needed to get away and think through everything. The camping trip was the perfect excuse. “I know, but I have a ton of homework to catch up on before I leave,” I said.

Emil was confused. “Leave? Where are you going?”

“On vacation with my parents. We take a camping trip to Idaho every year. I meant to tell you about it earlier, but I forgot.”

He seemed bothered. “How long will you be gone?” he asked.

I hadn’t thought that far ahead and made a quick decision. “I leave early Thursday morning and come back on Sunday.” I said.

“Won’t you get behind in your classes?” he asked.

I thought about it for a minute since I hadn’t considered homework five seconds ago when I decided to go on the trip. “No, I only have two classes on Thursday and it’s still early in the semester. Most of my assignments are reading and essays, but I’ll take my laptop with me and work while I’m there,” I said.

His face fell. “Will I see you before you leave?”

“I’m not sure,” I said. “I’ll let you know if I have time to get together.”

His expression didn’t change. “All right.”

I smiled. “Go home and get some rest.”

“Thanks.” His lips shifted slightly in a tired smile and he leaned in to give me a light kiss. Despite everything Alex had told me, even a short kiss with Emil still made the connection between us surge.

“I’ll call you when I get back,” I promised.

He stood and walked to the front door. “It will be a long week without you,” he sighed.

“I feel the same way,” I said. “I’ll see you soon.”

I watched the door shut, locking it behind him. I leaned my body against the wood and took several deep breaths. All in all, the whole thing had gone better than anticipated and I was looking forward to leaving for a while and clearing my head. I picked up the phone and let my mom know I would be joining her and my dad camping this week.

Chapter 12

How long will you be gone?” Jasmine asked.

I was packing for my last minute trip. I had told Jasmine about the movie theater incident and my break up and reconciliation with Emil. I conveniently left out Alex’s crazy talk. When I thought about it, it was no wonder I needed to get away.

“I’ll be back on Sunday,” I answered. I grabbed a stack of shirts and pants and put them in my suitcase. Earlier in the day I had changed the oil in my Mustang, checked the transmission and brake fluid, and filled the radiator to make sure the car was ready for the long trip to Idaho.

“I still can’t believe Alex showed up,” Jas said, watching me pack. “And what was Emil thinking telling you he was in love with someone else before turning around and saying he was in love with you?”

I lifted my shoulders as if to say I didn’t know, but really, I had more pressing questions on my mind—like how did Alex know so much more about what was happening in my life than I did? What were Emil’s real intentions? And most importantly, should I trust either one of them?

Jasmine glanced at the clock. “Crap, I’m going to be late for my human anatomy class, we’re examining a cadaver today.”

I wrinkled my nose. “Yuck. Have fun.”

Jasmine smiled and left my room. I could hear her rummaging through her bag and soon after, she yelled, “Bye, have fun at the dunes! I’ll see you when you get back.” I heard the door close behind her.

I mentally tabulated everything I needed, knowing I would forget something. I was packing my hairbrush and makeup when I heard a knock on the door. I thought it was probably Jasmine; she had a habit of forgetting things at the house—including her keys. I ran down the stairs. When I opened the door, Alex had both hands on either side of the door frame and was staring at me, his eyes glowing brilliant green. He was gorgeous, but his expression was reproving. “Were you going to tell me about your vacation plans?”

I widened my eyes in fake surprise. “Oh, look! One of my soul mates is here.”

“Not funny, Evie.” Alex said. “Why didn’t you tell me you were planning on leaving?”

I stood in the doorway and heaved a sigh wondering how long I’d have to involve Alex in every aspect of my life. “I’m going camping at the sand dunes in Idaho with my parents,” I said. “I wasn’t aware I needed to send out a news release.”

He rolled his eyes and walked, uninvited, through the door. “Given the current situation, it would be an advantage to know where you are,” he said, sauntering by me. “You know, just in case you’d like to continue being alive.”

I shrugged, still not certain if the threat Alex was talking about even existed. Emil seemed head-over-heels in love with me when he came over to apologize. “Well, now you know where I’m going, so it’s not a problem.” I thought about that for a minute. “How did you know I was leaving anyway?” He flashed me a patronizing look over his shoulder that seemed to indicate I should already know the answer to that question. “Oh wait, probably the same way you knew about my break up with Emil, and the lemonade in my glass instead of Sprite. Am I right?”

He smirked. “You texted me before Emil came over. I was outside and heard your whole conversation. Why aren’t you still keeping your windows closed?”

I was annoyed at his eavesdropping. “If you wanted me to continue keeping my windows closed, maybe you should have stuck around to give me further instructions over the summer.”

His face fell and for a second I regretted saying something that hurt his feelings. “There are a lot of things I should have done differently,” he offered as he sat on the couch and I followed, debating whether to sit next to him or not. Unfortunately, my cynicism hadn’t affected my hormones; but since the feeling didn’t seem mutual, I sat on the other end of the couch, leaving a cushion between us.

We were silent until he asked, “When are you planning to leave?”

“Tonight, well, early in the morning. The drive is better when it’s not as hot outside,” I said, remembering how much he didn’t like my Mustang or its lack of air conditioning.

“Well, you won’t have to worry about that. We’ll take the Audi.”

I bunched my eyebrows, confused. “What are you talking about?”

He leaned back into the couch and stretched his legs out on the floor in front of him. “I’m certainly not riding in your classic sauna for twelve hours all the way to Idaho,” he scoffed.

I started to laugh. “What? You think you’re coming with me?” My laughing became more hysterical.

Now it was Alex’s turn to look confused. “Of course I am. You can’t possibly think I’d let you go alone when you’re being followed?”

I stopped laughing, realizing he was serious. “Oh no!” I said, waving my hands in front of me, shaking my head. “You are
not
coming on my family vacation.”

“Yes. I am.”

I laughed again. “You have got to be kidding.” I stared at him, my mouth half open. Alex was giving me a no-nonsense look and I could tell he wasn’t about to change his mind. I’d have to change it for him. “Listen—my dad doesn’t have a gun, but if you set one foot near their motor home, he will find one for my mom so she can shoot you. I don’t need my mom being charged with murder on top of everything else that’s going on.”

Alex wrinkled his brow, perplexed. “Your mom always seemed to like me when I spoke with her on the phone.”

I looked at him with huge eyes, wondering how dense he was. “Yeah, when we were dating;
before
you left. Now she thinks you’re the jerk who broke her only child’s heart.” There was no point in mincing words about it now.

Alex cringed and didn’t say anything, but his expression shifted to determined again. “I can see how that would be a problem, but I think I can handle it. I’m pretty charming.”

I snorted. “You obviously don’t know my dad. Aside from the attempted murder, how am I supposed to explain to them why I brought you, instead of my
real
boyfriend, Emil? I’m pretty sure they’ll think that’s a little strange.”

He thought about my points. I felt pretty confident I’d won the argument and could continue packing in peace, but he said, “We’ll have to deal with those things when we get there. You
aren’t
going alone.”

That made me mad. I was
not
going to be told what to do. “Alex, I’m getting in my car tonight and I’m driving. By tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be riding my four-wheeler, getting sand in my ears, and not thinking about you or Emil. I’m going alone, even if I have to tie you up and leave you in the basement of your mansion to make that happen.”

Alex’s expression was hard. “Fine. If that’s what you want, I won’t stop you, but you realize the danger you’re putting yourself in?”

I raised my brow and put my hands out in front of me. “Actually, I don’t. You haven’t given me any details. If the people chasing me want to track me to Idaho, fantastic. Maybe they’ll get some potatoes and a nice vacation out of it.”

Alex gritted his teeth. “You are not grasping the reality of this situation,
Evangeline
. You need to be more concerned with your mortality than you are.”

I lifted my shoulders, unconcerned. “If you want to give me some details,
Alexander
,” I said his name with the same condescending tone he had used to say mine, “I would be more than happy to listen to your argument, but until you’re willing to offer some specifics, you aren’t coming with me.”

He was angry and didn’t respond. I took that as his answer. “Okay,” I smiled, “I’ll see you next week.”

The irritation didn’t leave his face as he got up and walked to the door. I followed him. He turned as he walked out, a devious smile flitting across his lips. “Have a good trip,” he said.

“Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine,” I assured him. “I’ll see you soon.”

He mumbled something I couldn’t understand as he walked away.

I left for Idaho late Wednesday night. I plugged in my iPod, singing along with Coldplay and Green Day while I tried to muddle through everything that was going on with Alex and Emil. The music and my thoughts kept me occupied during the drive and I got to the freeway exit for the St. Anthony sand dunes at eleven in the morning. As I turned onto the road that wound into the Egin Lakes campground where my parents were staying, I had an overwhelming sense of relief at the thought of being able to relax with people who loved me. I drove around the campground until I found my parents’ motor home and enclosed cargo trailer that they use for hauling their four-wheelers, dune buggy, and my dad’s motorcycle.

Some people think you aren’t really camping unless it involves a tent, sleeping bag, the ground, and several bug bites. I’ve never been one of those people. I’m perfectly happy in my parent’s thirty-five foot motor home complete with a microwave, TV, DVD player, bed, running water, bathroom, and heating and air conditioning. I like camping as much as the next person, but I don’t see any reason to suffer for it.

As I got out of my car, I leaned against the door for a minute, taking the time to breathe in the rustic scent of sand, mixed with gas and motor oil. I smiled as I looked around at eleven thousand acres of yellow and gold sand cresting in every direction. In some spots, the dunes looked like they could kiss the clouds. Even with the noise of motorcycles, four-wheelers, and dune buggies, the sand dunes were still more peaceful than any other place I’d ever been. Most of my big life decisions had been made at the dunes. I felt like I could think here better than anywhere else.

I locked the car and started to get my bags from the trunk. The motor home had been leveled and the jacks set. The awning, folding chairs, Dutch ovens and all the other camping supplies were already out. I was getting the last few things from my trunk when I heard my mom yell, “Evie!”

I smiled, happy to hear her familiar voice and know that I was in a place where I at least felt safe, even if Alex said I wasn’t. I ran to her and she opened her arms, hugging me tightly. When she let me go, I said, “I’ve missed you!”

“I’ve missed you more.” She smiled and gave me another quick hug. “I’m glad you came.”

My dad came around the corner. He smiled when he saw me. “How’s the car?”

“Good. I haven’t had any problems with it.”

He nodded. “I’ll look everything over for you while you’re here.”

“Thanks, Dad.”

He took my bags and carried them into the motor home while my mom took my hand and guided me to the chairs under the awning. “I’m so glad you decided to come! You’re sure you won’t miss anything important at school?”

“Not this week. I brought my laptop so I could work on some essays and I have some reading to do, but that’s all.”

“Good. We’re really happy you’re here!”

“Me too,” I said, leaning back in the chair. “I really needed this.”

Her expression turned to concern. “Is something wrong?”

I thought about what I should say. I’m in love with my maybe crazy ex-boyfriend who thinks he’s my soul mate and insists on staying in my life to protect me from my current boyfriend who may or may not be dangerous. And I don’t know if I can trust either one of them. Nothing wrong, nothing at all. I sighed instead. “Stuff with guys, you know. I was glad for the break.”

“Oh, sweetie, is there anything I can do to help?” she asked. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I cringed, knowing there wasn’t anything I could say without my mom thinking I’d lost my mind. “Not right now, maybe later though.”

I knew I would probably have to talk to her about guys sometime during the trip, so if that happened, I could tell her about Emil saying he was still in love with another girl on the hike. On the way to the dunes I had thought about Emil and decided I still had questions about his feelings.

“Okay,” my mom said as she patted me on the leg.

“How are things at home?” I asked, changing the subject.

“They’re good. A few more of your friends are getting married; I brought the invitations for you.” All of my friends seemed like they were in a race to get hitched. It was like they didn’t realize they were only eighteen and would actually have to live with the person they were marrying for a good sixty years. My mom knew my opinion on the subject and continued, “The guy who stopped by the station looking for you never came back. No one around town saw him either. We let everyone know to be on the lookout.” Only in a small town was that even possible. I wouldn’t be surprised if my mom drew a sketch and posted it on the grocery store bulletin board.