Authors: Julia Crane
Eternal Youth (37 page)
Not long after her junior year began, the nightmares returned—worse than before. It was an almost nightly occurrence, so much so that Kelli would do anything to put off going to sleep. She even taught herself how to crochet.
Unfortunately, there was only so long she could last before exhaustion would knock her into a dream state.
He stayed in the shadows as she walked down a dark alley. His face was concealed but his footsteps were not. They fell with every step she took, stalking her, following her…
This was one of the scenarios she was familiar with—she had experienced it over and over. Even though she knew she was dreaming, she couldn’t get out no matter how many times she yelled at her mind to open her eyes.
She clutched her jacket tighter, shooting terrified glances into the darkness. She knew he was there. There was nothing she could do but walk faster and listen to him pick up speed.
Suddenly he broke the circle of light below a streetlamp. Beautiful, so beautiful. Chestnut hair, matching eyes…the last thing she saw was the dagger.
Kelli awoke with a start, sitting up in bed so fast it made her head spin. She pressed a hand to her sweaty forehead and focused on trying to slow her breathing, kicking away the tangle of covers around her legs.
The moon was already setting in the dark sky outside her open window. It had gotten frosty since she had fallen asleep and the brisk chill had filled her room while she slept. Stumbling from bed in the inky room, she walked over to close the window.
Across the street, Gabriel’s house was dark.
Kelli stared unseeing into the night. She returned to her dream, to the man who haunted her sleep. No matter the terror she felt whenever she had a nightmare, one thing stood out.
She loved him.
Some of the dreams weren’t so much nightmares as they were snippets of interactions with an altogether different version of her attacker. Kelli almost wished he were real; maybe she wouldn’t daydream about a stupid teen guy that she couldn’t have.
She crossed back to her bed and flicked on the lamp on her nightstand; the gold light splashed across her room, chasing away the demons.
There wasn’t any use in trying to go back to sleep. After straightening her covers, she snuggled under her fluffy green comforter. Grabbing a teen mag from the nightstand, she opened it to wile away some time.
Gabriel-Mania meant Kelli often spent an hour and a half getting ready for school. Shower, shave, blow-dry, make-up—the whole shebang in some useless ploy to gain his attention.
“Today will be the day he speaks to you,” she told herself, standing in front of the full-length mirror in her closet. It was the same thing she had told herself for a month straight. Each day, she felt a little less sure of herself.
It wasn’t like she was hideous. She pinched the skin at her cheekbones, bringing the blood to the surface so she was rosy. Her eyes were the deep, vivid blue of arctic icebergs and her hair wispy, so blonde it was nearly white. Tall, thin, and pretty but invisible.
Today was no exception on the self-esteem front. It was a cool, drizzly morning and it echoed her mood. After Gabriel had come through her home and barely acknowledged her the night before, she was pretty certain he wasn’t interested.
Her closet was big, but the ceiling was low and angular. She walked around the corner into the nook where she kept her shoes, picking out her favorite pair of Eskimo boots to wear with her blue jean skirt and form-fitting salmon sweater.
Finally dressed and ready, she frowned at the mirror. She wanted Gabriel. She had been willing to give it everything she had to make him hers. “It’s not going to happen,” she sighed, putting her palm against the glass to cover her reflection.
“It’s unlike you to get so crazy over a guy.”
Kelli jumped, swiveling to throw her hairbrush at her brother. Aries was an expert at sneaking up on her.
The small pink brush bounced of his chest and skidded across the hardwood floor. He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.
Sighing, she shrugged. He
tsk-tsk
ed, dropping her navy
Pink
sweatpants in her dirty clothes basket before leaving.
A few minutes later, he met her at the bathroom sink. Silently, he took out his toothbrush. Dabbed a liberal line of toothpaste on it. Glancing at her, he shoved the brush in his mouth.
They stood next to each other, Kelli applying her eyeliner to the musical swishing of Aries’ toothbrush.
After he had glanced at her three or four more times, Kelli slammed the eye pencil to the counter and turned to glare at him.
“What do you want, freak?”
He took his time rinsing out his mouth. Drying his face and hands on a fluffy yellow towel, he stared at her thoughtfully. “You’re worried so much about what a guy thinks of you.”
Kelli threw her hands up. “And your point is?”
He carefully folded the towel and smoothed it out onto the counter. “Kel, if this guy doesn’t want you for the everyday you, he has to be blind. He would be just one more meaningless accessory to your perfect life.” Kelli tried to retort, but he lifted a sardonic eyebrow and exited the room.
He was waiting in her Mustang, already in the passenger seat as she walked out of the house with a Pop-Tart hanging from her mouth. She locked the front door and trudged to the car, her backpack dangling from a shoulder.
Aries was fiddling with the radio and cursing at the morning commercials. Kelli knew she needed to confide in her brother about the nightmares. It wasn’t like her to keep things from him anyway. She should have told him a long time ago.
She shifted into gear and backed out onto the street. “Can I tell you something and you
not
think I’m nuts?”
He pushed the power button, dropping the car into silence, and sat back laughing. “I already think you’re nuts.”
Kelli reached over, slapping his arm with the backs of her fingers. “I’m serious.”
He lost his smile, and nodded. “Sorry.”
She took a deep breath, biting her bottom lip. “I’ve been having these dreams. Bad dreams.”
“What kind of bad dreams?”
She made a split-second decision to turn into a gas station. Pulling into a spot near the door, she cut the engine.
Laughing, she laid her head in her hands. “It’s this man. He keeps showing up in my dreams.”
“Well that doesn’t sound so awful,” Aries quipped, waggling his eyebrows. “If some hot girl was consistently visiting my dreams I’d certainly not think they were nightmares.”
“But, he’s not good.” She paused, wrinkling her nose. “At least, I don’t think he’s good. But, I love him!” She sighed. “I don’t know why or how, but even when I’m awake I love him. I think about him all the time.”
Aries snickered. “You’re such a whack job. You love the guy even though he murders you?”
Kelli glared.
He sobered, his hands methodically rubbing his knees. “Okay. So what’s the bad?”
“He kills me.” She glanced at her brother from the corner of her eye then looked away.
She saw the change in his face—the mischievous twinkle disappeared and his pale blue eyes darkened. He reached for her hand, wrapping his long fingers around her own.
“He scares me.” Her voice was small.
“He terrifies you that much?” Aries said. He massaged her thumbs, his eyes dark. “He’s just a dream, Kel. Tell me why you’re so afraid.”
Kelli pulled from his grasp to hug herself. “He’s beautiful, Aries. I mean, the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. And I’m completely infatuated with him. Sometimes, he’s good to me.” She licked her lips, her eyes faraway, not seeing anything he could see. “He leads me somewhere solitary and then he kills me.”
“How?”
“A knife. An old knife. A dagger with a crooked blade.”
Aries turned away to gaze out the windshield. The mechanics who worked at the gas station garage were rolling up the bay doors and setting out their signs, ignoring the teenagers in the purple Mustang. “Have you read a story somewhere about this? Do you think it could be a subconscious thing?”
Kelli shook her head, even though he wasn’t looking at her. “I don’t think so. Aries,” she said, turning to lean against her door. “These dreams are full Technicolor, surround sound. Not your ordinary nightly journey.”
“When did this start?”
She smiled wryly. “When we were twelve. While you were gone.”
The summer before they turned thirteen, Aries went with Grandpa McNeil on an archaeological dig in Mexico. He was gone for three months. It was two weeks in to the split when the dreams started.
It only took a month before she broke down and told her parents. They chose to pay three hundred dollars a session for several months of visits to a therapist. All the Kook did was analyze the hormonal imbalances and ramblings of a teen going through puberty. And analyze badly. She came up with some outlandish ideas; psycho babble about inner fantasies of a male persona to cover the emptiness of Aries being gone. Always mature for her age, Kelli spent every Tuesday and Thursday laughing at her shrink — who was nuttier than she was.
Kelli buckled her seat belt and put the car in gear, signaling as she turned out of the station. They rode the rest of the way to the community college in silence.
During their fifth grade year, Aries had been…odd. All the teachers noticed it—awkward and smart. Some significant testing showed that he was “gifted” or abnormally intelligent, anyway. He had skipped ahead two grades and was now in his second year of college with the intention of working towards his psychology degree.
Kelli had been kept back a grade because of a learning disability.
She wasn’t jealous. Maybe a little.
Aries kissed her on the cheek, popping open his door. “Try not to think too much about it. We’ll talk later.”
She gave him a wan smile. “‘K. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” He squeezed her hand one more time. “It’s just dreams, Kelli. You’re going to be okay.”
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