Eternally Seduced (22 page)

          Including the silvery gaze that had been haunting me in my dreams.

          Constantijin stared at me. He was dressed all in white, which should have made him look utterly ridiculous, but no. He didn’t. He looked
perfect
. At that moment, I realized just how much I had missed him – still missed him. He turned my life upside down with just one glance, made me come alive with a single touch –

          And when Constantijin turned away, he broke my heart all over again in a single instance.

          A soundless gasp was torn out of me. People were snickering all around me, and the silent and insolent stares were even worse. I lifted a hand, searching sightlessly for something to hold on to, but I dropped it again when I realized that I would only be able to grasp air.

          Someone suddenly took hold of my hand.

          I looked up and my lips parted in shock. This had to be the worst coincidence in my entire life. “
Drake
?”

          A familiar wry smile touched his face. “Don’t sound too happy.”

          My cheeks flushed red. God, what a bitch I was. Drake Morrison would have been quite a catch in any woman’s eyes. He looked even more gorgeous when he was dressed formally, and he still wasn’t doing anything to hide how much he, umm, enjoyed my company.

          “Sorry, Drake. I didn’t mean…” With a sigh, I confessed, “You just have the best and worst timing, Drake.”

          His smile turned into a grin. “Because Kastein keeps catching you in my company?”

          My eyes widened. “How did you---” I paled. “Did I give myself away?”

          He shook his head. “Relax, Yanna. Neither of you gave yourselves away. But I like you – a lot – and because of that, I see things better than other people do.”

          “It’s not what you think.”

          He raised a brow.

          “Really. We’re not…we’re just dating.”

          “Not exclusively?”

          Thinking about the latest blond bombshell I had seen him on TV with, I answered slowly, “No.” Saying it out loud hurt, and it made me unconsciously search for Constantijin again, as if I really had to confirm the truth of what I was saying with my eyes. I needed to see him with another woman – in person. If I did, maybe I could finally give up on him.

          It didn’t take more than a second to find Constantijin, as if fate was just waiting to give us a chance for our gazes to collide. He stood poised on another pair of glass doors that led into the museum’s conservatory.

          I knew I wasn’t the only one looking at him. There were so many others – it was a gut feeling I had. But Constantijin only had eyes for me.

          Oh my God.

          The raw emotions in his gaze made me catch my breath, but then Constantijin suddenly turned away, with such abruptness he almost appeared rough, nothing like the utterly urbane and larger-than-life billionaire he was known to be.

          When he disappeared through another set of doors, I knew he had decided to walk away for me yet another time – maybe for good.

          “Drake, I’m sorry---I have to go,” I choked out even as I was unable to take my gaze off the doors that Constantijin had just gone past.

          Tears burned my eyes, and I did my best to blink them away before they could ruin my mascara and I ended up looking like someone who had just escaped from an asylum, which would result in security kicking me out of the party.

          Behind me, Drake said in a quiet voice, “Go get him.”

          It made me look at him over my shoulder with a wobbly smile. One day soon, I really had to ask him why he seemed to know me so well, why he always seemed to be there for me at the right time and place.

          But not now – not when I finally accepted what my subconscious had known all along.

          My feet started to move, the heaviness inside of me dissipating with every step I took towards the man whose gorgeous face hid a wealth of heartbreaking faults.

          This time would be different. This time I’d court him myself if I had to because this time, for better or for worse---this time I knew I was in love with him.

When you tell your billionaire you belong to him,

He will fuck more than your body.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

          Those were not the first words I wanted to hear from the man I had just realized I was in love with. I expected him to be surprised that I had come after him, but he wasn’t. If anything, he appeared
furious
, coldly and oddly so. It made me shift nervously on my feet, and my heels screeched against the floor as I did. The sound echoed around the conservatory, bouncing against the wooden domed ceiling.

          A thick air of silent tension swirled around us, the heavy doors behind me succeeding in filtering most of the party music being played outside. The conservatory was as vast as the other exhibits of the museum, which his parents had rented for their fundraiser.  

The theme was black and white, and according to the message on my two-thousand-dollar ticket, it was supposed to emphasize how prostitutes should
not
be seen that way.

Even the conservatory had been redesigned to match the theme, with its original lighting switched off and replaced by black-and-white waist-high pillars illuminated from within and lining the pathways that weaved through the cultured rainforest behind the stone fountain. All in all, I felt like I had stepped into a giant-sized tree house filled with shadows and white light.

A carpet of Bermuda grass separated Constantijin and me, but it looked more like an entire ocean in my eyes. I willed Constantijin’s gaze to soften, to give me even the smallest sign that he still wanted me back. Because he had to – surely I couldn’t have fallen in love with a man shallow enough to leave me the first time I didn’t do something he asked?

But his beautiful face didn’t soften, and his silvery eyes remained impassive.

          “I want to talk to you privately.” The words were supposed to come out even and confident, but they sounded squeaky instead. Shit.       

          His gaze strayed up, and my eyes followed his.

          “Shit.” The word escaped my lips when I saw the CCTV dome cameras installed on the ceiling, a red light blinking underneath each and every one of them. Didn’t that mean they were recording everything going on here? Shit.

          The dome camera suddenly moved, making me jump. I looked around and bit back a gasp when I realized
all
the cameras were trained on us.

Shit. It seemed to be the only word my brain could come up with. Was nothing really going to go my way tonight? Did they think I was cornering him here to do God knew what?

Shit.

          I waved my hands madly above me, staring at the cameras. “I’m. Not. Going. To. Kidnap. Him.” I turned to Constantijin, exasperation briefly winning over my heartbreak when he remained standing there without uttering a word on my defense. “Please tell them I’m not going to kidnap you!”

          He tossed me a glance of disgust before he started to move. When he reached me, he took a firm hold of my shoulders.

          I froze, wondering madly – and hoping just as hard – if he was going to kiss me.

          But all he did was set me out of his path and he continued past me to reach for the communication box planted next to the doors. He pressed the speaker button and said curtly, “Switch the camera off and don’t say a fucking word about this.”

          Constantijin walked back to the fountain, as if he needed to place as much distance between us as he could. Crossing his arms over his chest, he raised a brow at me.      

          “Let me explain about Drake---”

          His face hardened. “No.”

          “Please.”

          “No.”

         
Brrr
. He just kept sounding colder and colder. Taking a deep breath, I muttered, “If you don’t listen to me, I’ll---”

          His eyes bored through me.

          Oh God, I hated it when he looked at me like that – like he was a god, and I was the shit he had just stepped on.

          I knew that was how the world saw the two of us. After all, Constantijin Kastein was still the most beautiful man I had ever seen in my life, with wonderfully soft golden-copper hair and eyes the shade of liquid silver. His body was just as beautiful, and the fact that I once had the right to touch his fair skin, to feel the hardness underneath it – a right I didn’t have now – that hurt.

          Next to this man, who had every woman salivating for him not only for his sheer gorgeousness but also for his billion-dollar bank account, I was ordinary – an old-fashioned twenty-something woman who used to believe true love had to come first before lust.

But even though we were poles apart, he didn’t have the right to treat me like this – like I had to kiss his feet before he’d pay attention to me.

Taking a deep breath, I said, “If you don’t listen to me, then I might as well go back to Drake and be his!” The words were a high-risk bet. I knew my cards, and they all said that what I used to think was an obsessive sexual desire for him had deepened into love. Sometimes, the body just knew what the heart couldn’t even feel yet.

But I didn’t know what Constantijin’s cards hid – well, at least not exactly. I knew he was just as obsessed with me sexually. I knew he got jealous over me easily. And I knew he was still mad at me for going home with another man when he told me not to.

Surely all those gave me reason to hope that eventually there could be
more.

At my words, something flickered in his eyes, and then it was gone so quickly I almost thought I imagined it. But I knew I hadn’t, and my chest tightened.

Nik – my best friend’s husband – had been right. Once, when Daria hadn’t yet come into his life, Nik could have been Constantijin’s twin – wealthy, gorgeous, and arrogant. He hadn’t needed love, and he hadn’t believed in it. But Daria had changed him, had made him see how love changed what could first appear set in stone.

Nik told me that even the world’s hottest-looking billionaires had their weaknesses - the kind that made them more human. Daria had been his, and if Nik was right,
I
was Constantijin’s weakness.

Constantijin said with icy hauteur, “If you want to go to him---”

          “I don’t,” I interrupted in a small voice, now immensely sorry that I said those words at all.

           His body tensed even more. “I don’t want to play any fucking games---”

          The hurt in my chest spread. Constantijin’s face was still a cold blank slate, but in his eyes I still saw pain that he couldn’t hide. He really did believe I had chosen Drake over him, and that now I was toying with him. It still shocked me he could think like that of me. I never even had a boyfriend before he came to my life, never ever thought I could lose sleep at the memory of the taste of a man’s kisses and the feel of his touch.

          He had changed me, claimed me, and ruined me for all the other men in the world. He was irreplaceable. How could he
not
know that? And how could I have not seen that Constantijin also had his doubts the way I did?

          My voice cracked as I spoke. “Constantijin, I’m not playing any games.”

          He didn’t answer.

          The silence was intolerable, and I was beginning to appreciate why it had constantly driven Constantijin crazy whenever I used to answer his questions with silence. It just plain sucked.

          “I thought it was the best thing to do,” I whispered. “Please try to look it from my side. If I had stayed with you that night, people would have started talking about us. And at that time – I couldn’t handle it. I couldn’t take the risk. I didn’t want anyone to know because a part of me was still scared. I wanted to protect myself – in case you left me, no one would know.”

          Yet Constantijin still didn’t soften, not even a bit.

          “Constantijin,
please.
You know---”

          “Didn’t you ever pause to think that maybe I had the same fucking fears, too?” The coldness was gone, but the bitterness that replaced it wasn’t any better. “
You
were the first woman who mattered to me. Didn’t I fucking tell you that? Didn’t you know---”

          “I
panicked.
I’m sorry, I just panicked.” Surely he should know that about me by now? Panic was my freaking middle name, and I had a tendency to experience it every time I encountered something I didn’t understand. Like guys, sex, and love – in any order.

          He spat something in Dutch, which sounded painful enough to hurt.

          Tears stung my eyes. “I wouldn’t have left if I had known you’d feel so strongly about it.” My voice shook as I continued, “Constantijin, you screwed
me
up
twice
. Now, I screwed up – but not as bad as your screw-ups. Are you
not
going to forg---” I couldn’t say anything anymore, not with Constantijin’s lips on mine.

          The tears fell freely even as I weaved my arms around his neck, bringing my body as close to his as I could. The relief of being back in his arms was almost painful, and I couldn’t stop myself from shaking.

          His fingers suddenly tightened around my hair, and then Constantijin was using it to pull my head back with gentle firmness, forcing me to look up to him. “You chose him over me,” he growled.

          Cupping his face, staring straight at his silver eyes, I said feelingly, “I didn’t. I never did and I never would. I’ll always choose
you
over any other guy.” Then I pulled his head down so I could rain kisses all over his face.

It was scary and exhilarating, the way my world had suddenly found itself revolving around Constantijin.

          Almost impatiently, he took my chin and covered my lips with another breathtaking kiss, his tongue entering my mouth just as his hands spanned my waist and pulled me towards him. I gasped against his tongue when his fingers started a tantalizingly sensual trail on the curves of my body before lingering on the undersides of my breasts.

          He reared back abruptly, making me look up at him in confusion. “Did you do it to make me feel jealous?” He pinched my nipples at the last word.

          I shuddered even as I protested, “No.”

          He pinched my nipples again. “I don’t think I believe you.” But this time, there was a smile in his eyes as he spoke. He was back to the wickedly teasing Constantijin I knew and loved.

          I couldn’t help smiling, too, even as I said, “Well, now that you’ve---
aaah
.” Constantijin had suddenly lowered his head, sucking and biting my nipple through the thin silk of my gown. I sank my fingers in his hair as I lifted myself towards him, loving and missing the feel of his tongue caressing my body. By the time he moved to my other nipple, I was bucking helplessly against him, unable to control my response.

          And then it was over.

          Blinking at Constantijin, I stammered, “Wha-why?”

          He was breathing hard, but there was a gleam in his eyes that made me catch my breath. It was so…
wicked.
Almost playfully so, and Constantijin in a playful mood was enough to make even the grouchiest spinster swoon. “Punishment.”

          My eyebrows shot up. “
Punishment
?”

          “All this time, Yanna, you had me following your every order like I was a fucking slave. You made me fucking court you, fucking ignore that other men could talk to you without knowing you already belonged to someone else, and when you were finally mine, you wanted to keep it a fucking secret. If I could replace you, I would. But I fucking
can't
!”