Eternally Yours 1 (20 page)

Another test. And this time he’d obviously failed. Defeat stole his energy to argue or
conjure up an excuse. Instead, he sighed. “What exactly did you want to talk to me about?”
Over a low whoosh of air, light-paneled walls slid down from on high, separating the two men from Jodie and her counselor, from the dais, from the auditorium. An emerald velvet chair slapped the backs of Luc’s knees, forcing him to sit while Placide settled on a black leather chair beside him. A gleaming mahogany table, complete with a Wedgwood vase containing a simple arrangement of three ivory orchids, appeared between them. In the blink of an eye, the massive auditorium had become a comfortable board room scene, devised with Luc’s favorite familiars to put him at ease.

Sometimes, like now, he resented the fact the Board knew everything about everyone. No one could ever mask a weakne
ss or keep a secret with the Board’s mental manipulations. Every room, every spirit guide, every assignment was carefully designed to gain the subject’s complete and implicit trust.

Placide laid his clasped hands on the deep red wooden tabletop. “You’ve undergone considerable changes recently.”

An understatement. “You mean like the Board saddling me with a partner?”

“A
trainee
,” Placide corrected. “You chose to make her a partner. And you came to that decision only moments ago. Why?”

“Because I screwed up.” The words came easily, almost eagerly, from his lips. As if by saying them aloud, he might assuage some of his guilt. “I didn’t give her enough information before I allowed the Board to cut her loose.”

“You were against her becoming a bounty hunter from the start. Now you expect us to allow you to make her your partner? Why the sudden change?”

To buy time, he
studied his fingernails for invisible dirt. “I admit,” he said at last. “I wouldn’t normally sign up for a partner. But Jodie’s still too raw to be on her own. Part of that’s my fault.”

“Your fault?”

Luc hated the way the Elder always asked leading questions. Any idiot would know how Placide manipulated the conversation. “Look. Let’s cut through the bullshit, okay? It’s obvious you guys intend to make her a bounty hunter, regardless of my opinion on the matter.”

“And what is your opinion?”

As if he hadn’t made his opinion abundantly clear since Day One. But he swallowed the sarcastic retort and flipped up his hands in surrender. “Hey! It’s not my place to question the judgment of the Board or its Elders. The best thing I can do is make sure she’s as prepared as possible for all the scenarios she might encounter.”

Placide’s index finger shot out, pointed like the barrel of a pistol. “She confuses you.”

He gave a bitter laugh. “She makes me crazy.”

“And yet you still wish to keep her with you.”

“She
needs
me.”

“Unlike you, who needs no one.”

Was Placide mocking him? Annoyance stiffened Luc’s spine to steel. “I’ve been doing this job for a long time already. And up until I got saddled with a trainee, I had a perfect record. One trip out.” He held up his index finger. “One trip in. Every time. Perfect.”

Placide smiled. “But Ms. Devlin’s far from perfect. In face, form, and motivation, she’s riddled with flaws. Is that why she confuses you?”

“If I knew why, she wouldn’t confuse me, would she?”

That eyebrow of disapproval arched again. “Still building barriers, Luc?”

“No.” The terse reply might have had a better impact if he hadn’t delivered it with the same dull thud as a brick slapped atop a concrete wall. He sighed. “Look, I don’t know what you want from me here.”

“Your honesty is all we require. So far, you’re doing fine. Shall we continue?” Placide shifted, fold
ing one leg atop the other. “You and Jodie recently shared something very intimate. And when you woke, you were alone. Did you feel abandoned by her?”

Wham! Did somebody get the license plate number of that truck?

Pulling himself tight against the shock, Luc growled, “I’m not even going to ask how you know what Jodie and I ‘shared.’ Sure, I was a little taken aback to wake up alone. Then I realized she’d run to her former lover.”

“Were you jealous?”

“Hell, no,” he snapped. “I was pissed.”

“Because her sudden disappearance reminded you of the doubts you’d experienced in your marriage
on Earth? Do you think you painted your partner here with the same cheating brush as your wife there?”

Rage propelled Luc to his feet. “Is there a point to this discussion, Placide? Because if not, I’d really like to go back to my room and sleep.”

Placide never blinked, never lost his cool. “You woke because you had a dream. Tell me about that. You saw your last day on Earth again?”

Luc’s knees wobbled, and he sank back into his seat, gripping the edge of the table tight enough to whiten
his knuckles. Against the tide of bile rising in his throat, he managed to eke out a barely audible, “Yes.”

“Why do you suppose that particular vision
keeps coming back to you time and time again?”

Sanctimonious bastard.
Despite the violence brewing in his blood, he shrugged, feigning indifference. “You seem to know all about it. Why don’t you tell
me
?”

Placide shook his head. “It is not I who needs to come to terms with unfinished business.”

He forced a laugh, but it staggered through the air, clumsy and false. “Don’t look at me. I’m fine. Perfectly content here with my perfect job, perfect day-to-day existence, and perfect record.”

“Perfection seems to be important to you. Do you ever see that as a flaw?”

No way would he bite whatever lure Placide waved in front of him. “An odd question.” He leaned back in his chair and folded his arms over his chest. “By definition, perfection has no flaws.”

At last, Placide’s smooth exterior cracked into frown lines. “Eventually, Luc, you will need to face the issues that keep you from moving forward. We only learn from what we’ve accepted we cannot change.”

This time, when Luc rose, he strode immediately to the door so there’d be no chance of turning back. “Then I guess it’s a damned good thing there’s nothing left for me to accept. Because I’ve swallowed just about as much of your psychobabble crap as I can stomach.”

Chapter 20

When Serenity stepped off the dais, Jodie broke away from Luc and ran into her open arms. Not since her parents passed away had she experienced such unconditional love flowing in waves.

“I’m sorry.
” She buried her face in the comfortable folds of Serenity’s gown. Tears stung her eyes, hovered on her inner lids, and then spilled down her cheeks. “I didn’t think. I just reacted—”

“
Sssh.” Serenity rocked her with the ageless motion of the tides. “You and I have a great deal to discuss. Are you prepared to hear the Elders’ judgment for your transgression?”
Luc’s advice thundered through her head.

Be honest. Accept their pronouncement, promise them you’ll never run again…

No need to recall the rest of his words right now, the way he dismissed their intimacy so cavalierly—because “…nothing unusual had happened…” Asshole.

She forced herself to take a deep breath and calm the
brewing resentment inside her. If Serenity sensed her anger, the Elder might assume she’d refused to accept the Board’s pronouncement.

Over Serenity’s shoulder, s
he shot Luc a look of pure disgust. Involved in some kind of debate with the tall, slender, white-haired man beside him, Luc never noticed.

Figures. Even after terrific sex, I’m still forgettable to a man like
him.

Swallowing the bundle of nerves
stuck in her throat, she pulled away from Serenity and nodded. The air around them hummed with anticipation, and Jodie squeezed her eyes shut. Her body stiffened in preparation for a blow, physical or emotional. What would they do to her?

“Open your eyes, Jodie.”

When she did so, the auditorium and its occupants had disappeared. She found herself standing beside Serenity in a vaguely familiar room. Mud and straw walls surrounded them on all sides. Oilcloth canvas covered the crooked cut-out window to her right. Straw mats sat around a low table covered by tiny tin cups of green tea with honey and a plate of iced cookies.

In fact, the only details missing were the humid air scented with papaya and her mother’s voice crooning some silly song. Otherwise, this room resembled all the kitchens of her childhood in various
villages in Central America.

“Sit,” Serenity ordered as she swished her
gauzy white skirt aside and settled on the nearest mat.

Jodie sat across from her,
picking up her cup and inhaling the sweet, subtle aroma.

“Based on your rashness, the Board has decided you are not yet ready to solo as a bounty hunter. You will therefore continue your tutelage under Luc Asante. When the Board feels you’ve successfully matured enough to continue on without guidance, you will be notified.”

The breath left Jodie’s lungs in one long exhale. A mixture of emotions rippled through her: relief that her punishment didn’t entail pain or banishment, disappointment at her own failure, and resentment she’d be forced to continue facing off with Luc, who’d no doubt relish delivering an I-told-you-so lecture every time she dared to contradict him.

Before she might argue with the decision, Serenity held up a hand. “The Board is being very generous here, my darling girl. They understand the reason behind your flight, which is why they were lenient with your punishment. Afte
r all, you shared something extremely intimate with a virtual stranger.”

Shame encircled Jodie, a shabby, overgrown coat.
How had they known about the melding episode with Luc? Was there nothing the Board didn’t know?

“
The Board is all-seeing, all-knowing, omnipotent,” Serenity replied. “If an incident concerns you, I am immediately made aware of it. And of course, Placide knows as well.”

Jodie cocked her head, staring at this woman with newfound wonder. “Placide?”

“Luc’s Elder Counselor.”

“Oh.” Weird. She’d never thought about Luc having a counselor. He seemed so… independent. And yet, every bounty hunter had to have a counselor, right?

Oh, God.

Did that mean
all
the Elders knew she and Luc had…? She swallowed, but the lump in her throat didn’t budge. How humiliating! A vision floated in her subconscious, a dozen ageless witnesses watching and critiquing her sexual prowess. Like Olympic judges, they recorded her hang-ups and failures before holding up cards with scores ranging from zero-point-nine to two-point-five. Embarrassment burned her cheeks and throat.

With a gasp, she slammed the door on that image, locking it with
clicking deadbolts, and figuratively tossing away the keys. No way she’d ever function here if she continued following that embarrassing scenario. Too bad the table sat so close to the floor. Crawling underneath it to hide from Serenity’s knowledge was impossible.

Adding fuel to the heat already suffusing her from head to toe, Serenity’s laughter filled the room. “We
are
not
voyeurs, Jodie. Believe me. We Elders are far too busy to stand around watching what our charges are doing, my darling girl. Much less score your performance.” She sobered, her brows drawing into angled lines. “That does not mean, however, we are not aware of what occurs.”

Jodie’s mind tried to grasp all the nuances of Serenity’s reply. Still some flotsam and jetsam floated by unheeded.
“But, I don’t understand. How…?”

“We absorb details in much the same way you receive information from the Board regarding your bounties. Data is provided
on an as-needed basis.” She took a sip of tea, swallowed. “But because our memory banks are much larger, once we’ve absorbed information, we keep it for eternity. In case we need to call it forward again at another time. As for you and Luc, the moment you two melded in such an intimate manner, Placide and I received the pertinent facts so we might gauge your reactions.”

Jodie scrambled to explain. “I-it wasn’t intentional. I was exhausted. Luc meant to help me get to my room, but somehow, something between us went haywire.”

Serenity’s smile held no malice. “What happened between you and Luc is not unnatural or haywire. You’re two very attractive people.”

Ha. She was half-right.
Luc was gorgeous, in a snotty, alpha-male kinda way that repelled her as much as it attracted her.

“I’m never half-right. You are a beautiful, vibrant, generous woman.
You and Luc complement each other well. It’s only natural you would bind yourselves in that most delicate of embraces. There is no shame in your actions. I also understand that afterward, in your confusion over what had happened, you needed the comforts of the familiar. And so you ran to Gabriel.”

“I felt so incredibly guilty. Like I’d betrayed him. I needed to see him, to explain…”
A picture of Gabe with his new wife and new baby leapt into her mind and she swallowed the bitter taste of envy.

“But
, as you soon learned, those doors are now closed to you.”

“
Oh, yeah. I learned all right.” This time, she didn’t need to ask how Serenity knew.

“Surely
Luc told you that time does not exist in the Afterlife. We are beyond the sun and moon, so we have no need to measure hours, days, or even years. However, regardless of what occurs here, time continues to journey on Earth. In your mind, your visit today occurred shortly after your death. Perhaps months or even weeks later.”

She nodded, toyed with a pretty pink cookie, but never drew it to her lips. Food had no appeal
. The tea, however, soothed her somersaulting belly.

“Would it surprise you to know that you’ve been dead for more than four earth years now?”

Jodie
, caught in mid-sip, choked on her tea. “Four…?”
“There are many reasons the Board prefers spirits to remain here once they arrive. Time is only one of those reasons. Had you made contact with Gabriel, you might have disrupted the plan we have instituted to move him forward.”

She
suddenly remembered the dishtowels. Those stupid daisies. Of course they weren’t Gabe’s taste, but they definitely fitted a woman’s whimsical side. The woman who’d stolen what should have been hers. A tear lingered on her eyelid, and she sniffed it back.

“Did you
honestly expect Gabriel to mourn you for the next sixty years?”

A heated blush bloomed on her face, and she dropped her gaze to her tea.
“No, but…”

Yes. Sort of
.

“You expected him to move on, perhaps with a family, but you’d forgotten that would mean a new woman to love.”
Serenity’s tone held no judgment, merely a statement of fact.

Too bad the pale green beverage offered no answers
for Jodie. She looked up into Serenity’s unruffled expression, a frown twisting her lips. “I just didn’t expect it to happen so quickly.”

“For you, the lapse has been rapid. For Gabriel, the developments have taken a great deal longer. He mourned you, my dear. Mourned you well and deeply.”

Good. At least she hadn’t been totally forgotten on Earth. “Is it wrong of me to be happy about that?”

“No.” Serenity smiled. “Each of us wants to believe we were loved so much that those left behind feel some devastation at our loss. But we don’t expect them to feel such devastation forever.”

“Of course not.”
“So then, is it safe for us to assume you’ll allow Gabriel to complete his life journey with no more interference from you?”

Jodie’s heart crawled into her throat. After a painful swallow, she nodded.
Goodbye, Gabe. I’ll miss you. But I have to let you go.

“Good.” Serenity broke a cookie in half on her plate. “Now tell me about bounty hunting. Do you enjoy the task?”

The tea in her stomach roiled. “Yes.”

“You don’t sound very certain. Is there anything wrong?”

“Well…” She stared down into her empty cup.

Serenity patted her forearm.
“Go on, my dear. I’m here to help in any way I can.”

Maybe if she rushed through the explanation, she wouldn’t have time to feel the embarrassment coursing through her again.
On a deep inhale, she spilled her troubles in one long flood. “I understand and respect the Board’s judgment that I require more training before I venture out on my own, but, Serenity, does it have to be with Luc Asante?”

The sage
bit into a small crescent-shaped cookie before answering. “You and Luc were linked by the Board for a reason. And you do not have the right to question your assignment. From what I have observed, you two are well suited to one another.”

Jodie gave a bitter laugh.
“Are you sure you don’t have us confused with some other couple? Luc hates me.”

“Luc does
not
hate you.”

“Okay, so maybe hate’s too strong a word. He resents me. He thinks I’m too soft.
He blames me for ruining his perfect record, for ruining his perfect existence here by simply showing up. Let’s face it.” She gestured at the scars on her arms, ran her hands down her legs to signify their existence there as well. “I’m about as imperfect as a spirit can get.”

“And yet you keep those imperfections. In fact, I’d go so far as to say, knowing how Luc values perfection, you flaunt your scars under his nose like a matador with a red cape.”

“That’s not true.” When Serenity didn’t reply right away, her conscience forced her to consider the wise woman’s words. Did she purposely wave her flaws in front of Luc because he demanded perfection? Hmmm… Maybe she did. “At least, I don’t flaunt the scars intentionally. But they’re a part of me, a reminder of what I survived on Earth. Do you want to know why I won’t erase them?”