Ethans Fal (45 page)

“We won’t fight you on this, Ada, we just ask, if it is at all possible, that we can still be part of her life. We understand–”

“Of course…of course.” Ada rushes out, elated at this news; relieved, euphoric and giddy. “I don’t know what to say…I’ve waited so long…I…” Her words catch and her eyes glaze with unshed tears as she looks at me and I wipe the first tear with my thumb.

“I told her she had two mummies,’” Michelle adds. “Her friend at play group has two mummies so she understands that. But I told her you were her real mummy and I was taking care of her until you were ready.” Michelle explains and Pip is nodding with complete understanding, which is refreshing because I am still a little dazed. “I said that one day soon she could come and stay with you and then–” She bites her lips and slowly closes her eyes at the pain that is so obviously tearing her apart. Ada closes the gap and wraps her arms around them both.

“We’ll take it slow, Michelle.” Her soft reassurance gives Michelle all she needs to compose herself. “I like the idea that Pip has two mummies, especially when I can see what a wonderful mummy you are.” Michelle lets out a happy sob and tries to dry her eyes but has her hands occupied. Pip wriggles and opens her arms toward Ada, not even a moment of hesitation and she has her arms tight around Ada’s neck. She could be squeezing the life out of my wife, and I think Ada would just die happy

“Are you my daddy, too?” Pip looks right into me, the blunt question hits me hard. Ada turns to me and I flash my most winning smile, hoping to God it works on five year olds.

“Yes.” I don’t hesitate, it’s really not up for negotiation…none of that
if you want
that would be great
. Fuck, that uncertainty…Hell yes, I’m the Daddy.

Six months later.

“OH, MY ADA
…You look so well. Come in…come in.” Sheila crushes the air from my lunges on the stairs to the studio. I haven’t seen her for a good five months and promised the next time we were down I would do one last sitting for her. She is desperate to finish the final piece and I have been more than a little useless to her, but I owe her this much at the very least.

“So, how have you been? How long are you down for? Did you bring your little one…you must bring her in. We can get up to all sorts of mischief in here, don’t you think?” She hands me my robe and I disappear behind the screen laughing at her understatement.

“Oh, I don’t think… I know.” I start to undress. Shortly after the wedding Ethan rented us a house near the Winters’ family home. We wanted to make the transition for Pip as smooth as was possible. There were some legal formalities but under the circumstances that paled into insignificance when it was Pips happiness at stake. I wasn’t going to rip her from the only family she knew and I was quite serious that I wanted Michelle and her husband to be a part of her life. She would never have contact with her biological grandparents, so an extra set of ‘parents’ that would love her unconditionally, was welcome.

I spent as much time as possible with her and last week she moved in full time. This week is our first family holiday and while I model for Sheila, Ethan has taken Pip to the beach to build the best sandcastle, ever. Because it is a competition, apparently.

“You’ll regret saying that when Ethan brings her round later…she’s like a mini hurricane. Just move anything of value.” I warn. Sheila tsks and waves her hand dismissively.

“Nonsense…no fun in art if you can’t get a little messy.” I wave my hand in surrender and shake my head. I tried to warm her. She positions me where she wants me and I drop my rode.

“Oh, Ada you didn’t say, congratulations.” Sheila’s eyes drop to my belly and I blush from tip to toe.

“Rude much!” I slap my hand across the slight roundness. “Sheila, I’ve gained a little I’m not pregnant…I’m really bad at finishing Pip’s meals…and biscuits and treats. Anyway, I’m really bad at leaving stuff…a throwback from sleeping rough but I don’t look pregnant for Christ sake!” My voice is pitched with indignation.

“No, sweetie, you don’t look pregnant…You are pregnant. I’d bet my next commission on it.” She rests her hands on her hips and raises a challenging brow filled with confidence at her assertion.

“No!” I mouth, my confidence wavering. “It’s impossible!” I stumble against the wall and Sheila quickly positions a stool for me to sit on. She hands me a glass of water and tells me to drink it all and not to move. It’s not a difficult task–I am literally frozen.

I don’t know how long I sit on that stool but when the front door slams and the studio door opens, my bottom is decidedly numb. Sheila slips her cardigan off, strides over to me, and tips the contents of the scrunched up paper bag into my lap. The ominous white pregnancy testing kit box lays heavy in my hands. My fingers quickly open the end and I grab the plastic pen like it’s a magic wand. Is it a magic wand? I look at her, wide-eyed and still in shock. “Sheila, I can’t get pregnant. The doctors told me it was impossible.” I remain seated, my heart is hammering with a mix of hope and doom.

“And we all know doctors are never wrong.” She tips her head for me to move, then lifts me by my elbow to help the process. “When was your last period?”

“I don’t know…I mean I don’t really have them. Blessed that way…I did a lot of ballet when I was younger, but when everything kicked off puberty-wise I still didn’t really get them…or if I did they were really light.” I wrack my brain to think of an actual period…nope.

“Hmm, well you will need a doctor to confirm how far along you are then.” She muses, so confident in her assessment of my ‘condition’. “Go on then…let’s get to the point where I can smugly say ‘I told you so’.” She hurries me out of the studio and into the tiny toilet, with no mirror or sink. It is pretty much one step up from a hole in the ground. Those few minutes, I swear take years off my life. My hands tremble as the fierce dark blue tick appears screaming my own personal miracle.

I haven’t said a word in over twenty minutes, I haven’t managed to sip any of the sweet tea Sheila had placed carefully in my one free hand. The other is holding the pregnancy test in a death grip of white knuckles and nerves. I just can’t believe it…It’s just not possible. I hear the heavy footfall on the stairs outside and Ethan bursts through the door. I watch him like I am watching a scene from the footlights in a play–near but not quite taking part. He carefully places Pip on the floor and Sheila entices her over to a pristine white spread of a canvas and a tray of multi-coloured paints. Ethan is kneeling in front of me, his eyes filled with concern. He tucks my hair away from my face and cups my cheeks.

“Hey, angel…what’s wrong? You scared the crap out of Sheila and you are doing a pretty good job doing the same with me.” His thumb strokes my cheek and my lips curl into his touch, a tentative smile as I start to comprehend my news.

“A baby.” I manage with a croaky voice. He looks over his shoulder and chuckles.

“A little faith might be nice, Ada…she’s fine and we built the most amazing–” He starts to boast but I silence him with my quiet life changing statement.

“I’m pregnant.” I unfurl my fingers, revealing the very positive result on the thin white plastic stick.

“What?” he gasps. It’s my turn to tip his jaw shut. “Angel?” His question sounds hesitant like if he said it with any firmness my declaration would disintegrate under interrogation. I let out an incredulous bubble of laughter and hold my hands open. His eyes flick to the pen with the thick blue tick and back to me, and then back to the pen. “Seriously?” I nod, but I don’t get the chance to speak as his lips cover mine, his hands thread into my hair. He worships me with heavenly, reverent kisses, a heady mix of delicate and fervour. “We’re going to have another baby, Angel.” He breaks the contact of our lips his forehead still pressed to mine as I try and catch my breath and a tentative grip on this new reality.

“Um, yeah…It would appear so.” I still bite back my own smile because it just feels surreal. Ethan drops his hand to my tummy and I shrug.

“I was going to start running on the beach in the morning to try and shift it.” I pat my little mound. “I thought it was all the leftovers I’ve been eating off Pip’s plate.” He laughs.

“Yeah well, I’m fuc…
flipping
glad.” He glances over to Pip checking his language was suitably censored. “That it isn’t the leftovers because I’ve been doing the same.” He pats his ripped, taut stomach and arches a brow. “One miracle is enough, don’t you think?” I nod and let out a nervous, excited, uncontrollable laugh.

“Are you okay with this?” I ask because however we look at this, it is unexpected.

“Hell no!” His brows furrow in a deep serious frown, which he can only hold for a moment before his smile cracks his face into the most stunning smile. “Oh, I thought we were back to saying ridiculous things again.” He sweeps me into his arms and I squeal with surprise. I wrap my naked legs around his waist and he groans. My modesty is barely covered by my robe. Sheila coughs,

“Um, you might need to keep this a little more PG than your last studio session.” She nods to Pip, who is paying us no attention and is completely engrossed in the considerable mess she is making with her fingers and the paint. I flush with heat at my recollection and the feel of Ethan pressed hard against my body. I don’t think he even has those letters in his alphabet. But he does lower my legs to the ground. His eyes boring through me, scorching me, and branding my heart and soul.

“You know what you are, Ada?” His deep raspy voice makes my hairs tingle.

“What am I, Ethan?” I swallow thickly. I can’t breathe. My heart pounds, my chest aches with every beat, nerves tingle for him, hairs prickle with anticipation. I’m waiting on the precipice, adored and treasure, alive and in love…I wait with bated breath.

“Mine.” He states emphatically and I fall.

The End

I completely understand why authors start this section with an apology for missing anyone. My list of thank you’s has grown considerably this year since I first pressed the publish button and I am rightly worried I will forget someone. I’ll start with a blanket THANK YOU EVERYONE…yeah because that should cover my arse…not.

So I am going to start with some key players: A huge thank you to Joan Readsalot, pretty much there for me from day one. I am so grateful for your honesty and constant unwavering support. My other Beta readers, Melinda Smith, Kayla Adkins, Amy Adkins, Lauren Danielle and Heather Callahan…thank you so much for your invaluable input into making Ethan’s story that much better. My street team, especially Kris Ward(Gold Star Pimper), Susan Ritter, Kim Whaley, Heather Kallam, Beverley Norcross, Missy Nuebeckera…
I see you babies…pimping my ass
!
But all my street team, Sara Burk, Norma (Not officially a member but I know you pimp), Sandra Cohen, Keitha Brassard and Lidjia,Urioc …I love you ladies…you totally rock!