Eve and Her Sisters (32 page)

‘I’m glad you did. I’m only sorry I was out all day and not here when you needed me.You should have put a call through to the works or, failing that, the club this evening.’

‘I wouldn’t do that.’ She sat up, smoothing the pleats of her skirt in embarrassment.

He handed her his handkerchief once again, eyeing her tear-ravaged face tenderly.‘I want you to promise that if you ever need me again, that’s exactly what you will do.’

His tone must have conveyed something of what he was feeling because she appeared startled and a little embarrassed. ‘I . . . I don’t suppose I shall need you again.’

‘Don’t say that.’ Telling himself he was every kind of fool and doing exactly what he had promised himself he wouldn’t do, he said softly, ‘I want you to need me, Eve. Because I need you. Just how much I didn’t realise until tonight when I held you.’ And then, at the look on her face, he added quickly, ‘I love you and I want you for my wife.’

Dear gussy, had she thought . . . But he hadn’t expressed himself very well. He should have had a ring ready and gone down on one knee. He had never imagined she might think he was propositioning her to be his mistress.

Eve’s head was spinning. She looked down at her hands, not to play the coquette but because she couldn’t hold his gaze. She had wondered, yes, she had to admit she had wondered what she would do and say if this moment should occur. Tucked up in her solitary bed at night she had allowed her mind to wander and play out the fanciful idea that Howard might want her for more than his housekeeper. But at the bottom of her she had dismissed the notion. He was kind and generous and that was why he was so good to her, she’d told herself over and over again. She was getting well above herself to imagine anything more. And pride went before a fall. Every time. But now it had happened and she didn’t know what to say. Raising her head, she looked into his face. It was a nice face. Not handsome but possessed of a certain charm. A distinguished face. Hesitantly, she said, ‘We come from such different backgrounds. People would be horrified.’

‘Do you think I care one jot about anyone but you and me? And anyone who doesn’t see you as the wonderful woman you are will not be welcome in this house.’

‘I’m so much younger than you.’

‘Or perhaps we should say I’m so much older than you, but what does it matter? I know many couples where there is a significant age gap and they are very happy.’

‘People, your friends, everyone would say it’s too soon after Esther’s passing.’

She was saying all the things except the one that really mattered. She was aware of this even as he answered, ‘It’s been over a year and all that matters is that Esther would understand.You do know that, don’t you? That she would be pleased for us?’

Eve bowed her head. She had never told him what Esther had said to her as she had been dying. ‘Yes, I know that. But,’ she paused, ‘you know why I left Washington.’

‘Because of this man. Caleb Travis.’

‘Yes.’ She looked at him. Her face was burning, suffused with a deep red. ‘And nothing has changed in regard to my feelings for him. It wouldn’t be fair to you to say otherwise.’

‘Perhaps not, but that doesn’t mean you can’t learn to love me, Eve. There are all kinds of love, I’ve come to understand that. Even between a man and a woman. Esther was and always will be my childhood sweetheart and ours was a natural progression into marriage. She was a very different woman to you but I loved her and I love you. You do like me a little, don’t you?’

‘You know I do.’

‘And I don’t . . .’ He cleared his throat. ‘This,’ he touched his empty sleeve,‘it doesn’t repel you? Please be truthful.’

Her colour would have deepened if it was possible. ‘Not for a minute, how could you think such a thing?’

‘I hoped not but I must be frank. I love you and I want you for my wife but not merely as a companion. I would like children in the future. Do you understand?’

Eve nodded. She wasn’t so naive as to imagine he had been suggesting a marriage without physical closeness.

‘But let me make one thing clear. If children were denied us for whatever reason, I would be content with you and count myself blessed. It’s you I want. You I need. And I do need you, Eve. So very much.’

She gazed at him, finding it amazing that this attractive and cultured man should be in love with her. And he was attractive, she thought. Nell had called him a fine figure of a man and she was right.

‘I should not have sprung this on you tonight of all nights.’ Howard took her hand. ‘It was wrong of me.’

‘No, no, it’s all right.’

‘Will you think about it? I don’t expect an answer right away. And if you cannot consent then we will go back to how it was before. There will be no embarrassment or awkwardness between us, I will insist on that.’

Eve would have smiled if her heart hadn’t been so sore about Mary.This was so like Howard, insisting on something which would be impossible. It was then, as she looked into his kind brown eyes, she thought, I don’t want to have to leave him. He had enriched her life in so many ways and her daily lessons were just part of it. Life would be empty without his sense of humour, his gentleness, his kindness, even his stubbornness. But she didn’t care for him as she did for Caleb. She must be honest with herself. And would this feeling she had for Howard be enough? Enough for marriage? More importantly, enough for the marriage bed?

Howard drew her to her feet. ‘You must be exhausted.’

She was tired, and unbearably sad. Hearing about Mary had brought all the anguish about William to the fore. Howard had said he wanted children and so did she, she ached for bairns of her own. After she had left Washington she had imagined she would live life as a spinster but it wasn’t a path she would have chosen or wanted.

‘Go to bed and tomorrow we will decide what to do about the letter. You will think clearer when you’ve had some sleep. This has been a great shock and I haven’t helped, have I?’ He smiled ruefully.‘But we’ll sort it out together, you aren’t on your own. If you wish to write to Nell, I’ll see to it she receives the letter immediately, or we can go and visit her if you prefer it. Whichever you would like.’

‘Thank you.’ He knew as well as she did that Mary had become a prostitute before she had died. That alone would be enough to cause most men to run a mile. The scandal of associating with someone who’d had such a sister would be bad enough, but to suggest marrying them! And despite her new hairstyle and clothes, she was still as plain as a pikestaff. And yet when Howard looked at her, there was something in his eyes that made her blush. He cared for her. And she wanted to be cared for in that way. She might not love him as she loved Caleb but he knew all about that and he still wanted her. And she didn’t want to lose him. She wanted, just by one person in her life, to be adored.

Drawing on every scrap of courage she possessed, Eve reached up and took his face in her hands. And then she pressed her mouth to his.

Howard took Eve to see her sister three days after Eve had received the letter. Eve had needed the time to set her thoughts in order and decide how she felt about the decision Nell had taken. She and Howard had talked it through incessantly and this had helped her to see things more objectively. Something, she admitted to herself, she would have been unable to do without his guidance. She had been so angry with Nell, so disappointed and hurt.

The interval also meant that by the time the taxi cab deposited them outside Nell’s front door, Eve was wearing an engagement ring on the third finger of her left hand.The morning after he had proposed, Howard had insisted on visiting the best jewellers in Newcastle. Eve had chosen a dainty ring consisting of three diamonds on a gold hoop. It had not been the most elaborate or expensive ring in the shop, but it was the one she had fallen in love with.

Eve had not protested at Howard’s urgency but she had been a little surprised by it. He knew this, but when she had expressed a desire to return to Washington and see Nell face to face, he’d felt his engagement needed a solid base. Hence the ring. Something everyone - including Caleb Travis - could see.

Now, as they stood together outside the small terraced house, he kept his arm tightly round her. ‘It will be fine.’ He smiled at her. ‘Stop trembling.’

It was Toby who opened the door to their knock. Eve saw his eyes widen and then he stood back, saying, ‘Eve, lass, and Howard. Come in, come in. I’m off work at the moment, crushed me fingers an’ the quack won’t let me back yet, daft so-an’-so. Sure sign he ain’t paid by the hour.’ And then he stopped abruptly as though he had become aware he was talking too much.

Eve looked across the room to where Nell had risen from the table, the vegetables she had been preparing in a bowl in front of her. Matthew and Robert were sitting on the clippy mat in front of the range, playing with two little cars fashioned from wood, and Lucy was in her high chair gnawing on a crust. It was a homely scene, cosy, but Eve could see that all was not well with her sister. As Toby had said, she’d lost weight. ‘Hello, lass,’ she said quietly.

It was a moment before Nell whispered, ‘Hello,’ and then her voice was small and didn’t sound like hers.

Eve looked into Nell’s eyes. They seemed altogether too big for her face. Any remaining hurt was swept away by the expression in them. Without a word Eve moved forward. As she opened her arms, Nell flew into them and the next few minutes were lost in unintelligible murmurings and sobs.

Once they were all seated at the kitchen table with a cup of tea, Nell took Eve’s hands in her own. ‘I’m sorry, lass, I am. I thought I was doing the right thing but then the minute she died I knew I should have told you. It was too late then though and—’

‘I know, I know. It doesn’t matter. Will you come with me to the grave later before we have to go?’

Nell nodded, fresh tears sliding down her cheeks.

More to stop Nell breaking down again than anything else, Eve held out her left hand, waving it under her sister’s nose.‘You haven’t noticed, have you?’

‘Eve!’ Nell grabbed her fingers, her voice rising as she said, ‘You’re engaged! Toby, they’re engaged.’ And then, quickly, she looked at Howard.

Laughing, he said, ‘It’s all right, you haven’t put your foot in it. I am the lucky man.’

As Toby shook Howard’s hand, Nell kissed her sister. ‘I am so pleased, lass, I can’t tell you.When I saw you together in Newcastle I knew there was that spark.’

Eve smiled. She wanted to confide in Nell that she was feeling, if not exactly frightened then bewildered by the speed with which everything had happened. But she couldn’t. And so the four of them chatted and she gave the children the little presents she had bought for them, and after lunch she and Nell put their hats and coats on to walk to the cemetery in the grounds of the church in the village centre. It had been agreed that Toby and Howard would stay with the children to enable them to have some minutes at the graveside alone.

As they walked to the churchyard, Eve was trembling in the pit of her stomach. Mary’s grave was covered with snow but when Nell brushed the head-stone clear, she read, ‘Here lies Mary Baxter. Beloved sister of Eve and Nell. Safe in the arms of God.’They said a prayer and cried a little and then stood for a while, lost in memories.

It was as they left the churchyard that she saw him. Caleb had come out of the inn and was standing looking across the space separating them.

She had known this was going to happen, she told herself. How had she known? She couldn’t have. But she had. As he came towards them, she felt Nell’s hand tighten on her arm and it was as much to herself as to Nell that she murmured, ‘Don’t worry, it’s all right. I need to thank him for taking Mary in that one last time anyway. He was good to do that, Nell.’

He looked older than when she had left. Thinner. And his hair was longer. It suited him. Thoughts whirled in her mind and then he was standing in front of her, his rugged face unsmiling. ‘Eve, it
is
you. I thought my eyes were deceiving me.’ He took her gloved hands in his own. ‘You’ve been to the grave?’ he asked softly.

She nodded. She wanted to say something but the lump in her throat was preventing words.

‘I’m sorry.’ He shook his head slightly, his eyes not leaving hers. ‘About Mary, you being away, everything. But there was nothing you could have done.’

‘I know.’ The muscles of her throat contracted and she swallowed hard.‘And I want to thank you for what you did. It-it was kind of you in the circumstances.’

‘I’m glad she came home in the end.’

He had not let go of her hands and other than pull them away she did not know what to do. She knew her voice had trembled and she prayed he would put it down to her grief about Mary. Was he wondering why she hadn’t come to see Mary’s last resting place before? She wanted to tell him she hadn’t known her sister was dead but that would put Nell in a difficult position and so she remained silent.

Softly, he said, ‘You look very well.’

‘I am well. And you?’

‘Tolerable.’ She watched him take a deep breath. ‘But nothing is the same—’

‘Eve is here with her fiancé.’ Nell’s voice was louder than theirs had been. ‘Show Caleb your ring, lass. It’s beautiful, lovely. And he’s such a nice man too. A real gent, you know?’

Caleb relinquished his hold as Nell jostled for Eve’s hand, whipping her glove off and showing him the ring. ‘There, isn’t it bonny? She’s done right well for herself.’

‘
Nell, please
.’ Eve’s face was scarlet.

‘What? You have. I’m only saying, aren’t I?’

The muscles of Caleb’s face had tightened but his voice was pleasant when he said, ‘Congratulations, Eve. I assume your fiancé is someone you’ve met in Newcastle?’

She nodded. Aware she couldn’t leave it at that, she said, ‘Howard is the man I was housekeeper to, actually.’