Evenfall (135 page)

"Your ability to quickly adapt to new situations does not, apparently, cross over any longer to adapting current reactions to lessons learned in the past." Her eyes narrowed slightly, seeming to cut through his defenses to study the core of him. Her voice was cold, her expression otherwise unreadable though it remained intense. "Do you not recall the fiasco in Canada? You should understand fully by now that recklessness results in failure, that you do not have the luxury to be observed in any suspicious circumstances on any of your missions, and that it infuriates me and endangers every employee here when your actions jeopardize the secrecy of this organization. Do you find it enjoyable to do so or are you simply that incapable of learning?"

He stayed silent a moment, wondering at first if it was a rhetorical question, but she only quirked one eyebrow and he fought the urge to unconsciously cross his arms over his stomach in the face of her displeasure. "I... I don't..." He didn't know what to say; nothing would be acceptable. She was furious with him and she had good reason to be; he didn't know why she felt the need to follow him to say any of this, why she hadn't just let him get to the next debriefing and get it over with so he could go to Sin and then go home.

"Let me answer it for you, since you are so ineloquent at the moment," she said, her expression intensifying. "I do not believe it to be either. You are perfectly capable of learning from past mistakes and you have never been the type to enjoy jeopardizing the safety of others. You remain the same child who avoided confrontations at school, who refused nearly all contact with other children and who, in essence, hid from anything that frightened you by ignoring it. Yet you are also the same person who learned quicker than any of your peers."

She ignored Boyd's surprised look and raised her eyebrows. "Therefore, I find it appalling and inconceivable that you would continually make the same mistakes. There is absolutely no need for us to be having this conversation at the moment. There is no reason whatsoever that you should have failed so abominably, and if you ever attempt to ignore the situation that you put others in due to your mistakes, you are doing them an immense disservice, avoiding your responsibility, and are completely unworthy of the status you have found yourself in. Do you understand?"

He couldn't quite understand what was happening; she was angry with him, and yet... "I-- Yes, Mother," he said quietly and she stared at him for a very long moment, her gaze so intense he felt like it was burning through him.

The silence between them stretched until Boyd thought that maybe she was actually silently dismissing him. He hesitated, but he really wanted to just go check on Sin already and the more time he spent before the next debriefing just meant he would have to wait longer. Almost as if she understood his thoughts, Vivienne narrowed her eyes pointedly.

"Boyd," she said, and somehow despite the coolness of her tone, it almost seemed less remote than usual. "The purpose of learning your lessons thoroughly the first time is for everyone's safety." She stared at him hard. "Including your own, despite any ineptitude you may unnecessarily show."

Surprised, Boyd stared at her, but before he could formulate a response she looked away from him abruptly and said with calm coolness, "I have been delayed from my work long enough." She didn't give him the chance to react before she strode away, giving Brians a pointed look to express that she was finished.

Boyd watched her go in a mixture of surprise and confusion, then glanced over when Brians appeared at his side again.  Without a single word exchanged, Brians started walking while Boyd, glancing once more toward his mother, trailed behind. He was so immersed in his thoughts that he wasn't paying much attention to his surroundings.

What had that all been about with his mother? He was so confused; since when did she go out of her way to follow him, to talk to him like that? He knew she was furious about what happened in Monterrey, yet she didn't take the chance to lecture him as icily as he would have expected. If anything, it seemed her displeasure was spread to more than just him. He had no idea what was going on with that and every conclusion he came to seemed as confusing as the last. The only thing he could figure was that Connors had probably taken it upon himself to make comments to her as he did the first time about Boyd sleeping with Thierry. It infuriated her as it had the first time and now she was as angry with Boyd for messing up again and Connors for rubbing it in her face. So she felt the need to inform him that he needed to start learning his lessons best the first time. That must have been what was happening there.

Brians made a noise ahead of him and he blinked, looked at him and realized he was so deep in thought that he'd almost missed a turn. Without his expression changing at all, he pivoted and started following Brians once more. He didn't know where this second level of debriefing would occur but no doubt it would probably include someone from Carhart's team or else someone from the undercover division. He'd heard that they sometimes sent people who had spent long periods of time in undercover missions over to one of the psychiatrists; it was an added precaution, to be certain the person could handle whatever they'd been through and that they were fully back in their real life rather than still stuck in parts of their persona.

While he walked, he couldn't help thinking about Connors' words, the description of what Sin had been through. It made him feel sick to his stomach, made his heart actually hurt and the regret to rise within him. He couldn't even imagine being through that, he couldn't-- He didn't want to think about it but he couldn't help it. He'd known something horrendous had been done to Sin but he hadn't thought it was that. Now that he knew specifics he couldn't help remembering reading about that torture in school; he could recall the drawings in their books and the way he'd read the accounts without really feeling anything. At the time it had all seemed so irrelevant and he couldn't have cared less what people went through centuries ago. Now when he remembered the pictures, he placed Sin there instead, and his imagination resumed the ghostly images and sounds from before; only this time it was with more vivid details.

Brians led him on a winding route through the building, finally stopping just outside a room down the end of a hallway Boyd didn't recognize. Boyd glanced at him, checking if it was their destination, while Brians inserted a code into a keypad next to the door. Boyd wasn't able to see what the code was and he was still pensive and distracted enough that he didn't bother to really try. Instead, he looked around the hallway, trying to place it in his mind to the areas he'd observed in Johnson's Pharmaceuticals. He was positive this was not an area he'd investigated yet, which meant it was probably one of the corner halls of one of the lesser-used floors, yet for some reason he thought he'd seen it before. He heard the door open behind him and Brians moved aside to let him through.

Still looking out the hallway, Boyd stepped into the room at the same time as he finally turned to look at it, noting that it seemed small and the lights were out.

A stinging pain suddenly centered on his arm and was so abrupt that it caught him completely off-guard. Boyd had no idea what was happening but he automatically tried to jerk away with a startled, "What--!"

Brians grabbed him from behind and held him still despite his struggling, his arms locked in a similar manner that Archer had held him before except this time he seemed to be holding something to his arm. But Brians wasn't as strong as Archer and after his initial reaction of surprised struggling, Boyd was able to think clearly enough to go still and use his feet to kick at Brians' legs. The sudden dead weight combined with attacking his legs was enough to throw Brians' center of gravity off slightly; when Boyd abruptly jerked and the adrenaline raced through his system, he was able to break his hold and yank himself away, feeling something rip at his arm. Brians watched him, unperturbed, as he stumbled, caught himself, and automatically reached up toward his arm which was aching in pain.

He barely had seconds after he'd pulled away to note Brians had a needle in his hand before the man stepped back through the doorway. Boyd's mind raced furiously, calculating whether he'd be able to get past him to the relatively safety of the hallway, whether he even wanted to try. Brians was far larger and stronger than he was but he was probably also slower; there was a chance that if he ran for it, if he distracted the man somehow or caught him off-guard or even just used the advantage of his smaller body to wriggle his way out of his hold, he would be able to escape. Brians held a needle, though; even if he didn't immediately feel any effects, it was likely he'd just been drugged somehow and he didn't know how long it would take to affect him, so he wasn't even positive he would make it far.

Even so, he automatically started to run toward the door, mind already several steps ahead of the present as he tried to plan his escape but in the brief seconds as the door closed and he could have dove, could have fought his way through and tried his best to break Brians' hold on him, he hesitated.

He had to acknowledge that he was already in deep trouble, that Connors and his mother were furious with him, that Connors had told him he was heading to the second debriefing, that he'd been instructed to follow Brians. That he didn't actually have anywhere to go, that he wasn't even positive where he was in the facility and although he knew he'd be able to find his way out, he didn't know how long it would take. That for all that he wanted to run to the med wing to check on Sin, he also knew he was exhausted, that the tiredness and lack of proper food, water or sleep for the last two weeks was bound to slow him down, make him more confused, cause him to make more poor decisions.

If he ran now, he'd be running from Connors' direct orders and although he had stood up to him once, he didn't know what would happen if he tried again. And even though it had nothing at all to do with Boyd as to whether or not Connors would decide to revive Sin if he did flat-line once more, there was still some part of him that twisted in paranoia; what if his arguments for keeping Sin alive had somehow, in the back of Connors' mind, started to convince him? What if by acting so recklessly defiant right now, Boyd would anger Connors enough that it would negate the argument?

So he slowed as he reached the door, as it slid shut in front of Brians' face, and he placed his palms against it, his head tilting toward the ground as a wave of weariness rolled over him. Even supported by the wall he wavered on his feet, and he concentrated all his efforts on stepping back and studying the door just in case so he would know how to escape later if it came to that. But the door was encased in the wall; it slid shut with no hinges and no doorknob on this side. There wasn't even a keypad for him to access and as he studied the door, he realized there would be no way for him to get out. His heartbeat increased at the thought, but he still didn't know why he was there, he still didn't know what was happening.

He turned, leaning against the wall as he looked around the room. It was too dark to really see anything, but then the lights suddenly flipped on. He winced, closing his eyes from the sudden onslaught as afterimages of bright purple circles burned into his retina. Another wave of dizziness slowly rose around him, submerging him as he brought one hand to his forehead as if to steady his head. The dizziness didn't entirely fade, but after a moment he was able to open his eyes without the disorientation being quite so strong, and he squinted as he looked around the room. It was painted entirely white from floor to ceiling with no decorations at all save a metal table in the center and a few small fixtures scattered strategically across the tops of the walls. He looked around quickly for any sign of anyone else but he was alone.

He started to walk across the room, intending to get a better look around, at least to see the table better despite the fact that his eyes still hadn't quite adjusted to the brightness of the light. He headed toward the table and between one blink and the next, he realized someone was lying there. The room fuzzed white on the edges of his vision and he shook his head, thinking at first he was just seeing things, but the person was still there and as he came closer he realized with a jolt it was Sin.

"Si--" His eyes widened and he stumbled over his own feet trying to get there faster, wondering what the hell was happening, why he hadn't noticed him before. Had he been there all along and he hadn't been able to tell because it was too dark, because the light was too sudden and too bright? He almost fell against the table as he came upon it and now he could see it
was
Sin, he was lying there with his head tilted back lifelessly, his body as damaged as it had been in the basement and when Boyd dropped his hand to the table to catch himself, he felt warm blood sliding beneath his palms--

"Hello Boyd," a voice boomed suddenly, causing him to jerk his head up as he wildly looked around. No one was there and it took him a second to realize that it had to have come from a speaker of some kind. He did not recognize the voice and there was nothing particularly striking about it to give him a clue as to who the speaker may be; it was male, somewhat flat, monotone, and closely resembled the way announcers in advertisements sounded. "We have never formally met, but then, we've never had reason to," the voice continued smoothly. "My name is Shane Dourman, an employee of Johnson's Pharmaceuticals on the Fourth Floor Interrogation and Detainment Facility."

At the words, Boyd's eyes widened and he felt his heart jump. He looked back down at the table, some distant, confused part of him automatically thinking that the Agency had already punished Sin because he had stopped to help Jessica and now they were coming for him--