Ever, Sarah (20 page)

“The Renaldi’s?” I asked Brad.

“Family friends.” His answer was short, so I didn’t bother to ask any more questions.

I was about to tell him about the ‘vision’ of the man behind the door in the bedroom, but thought it would only upset him. I looked at his perfect face, well, perfect if not for the scratch down one side, compliments of the crazy woman living in my brain.

“I’m really sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s fine. Don’t feel a thing.”

“Sorry anyway.”

He squeezed my hand again. We traveled for some time in silence, Brad looking at some papers he had removed from his briefcase, me with my face pressed up against the glass looking at the surrounding landscape, praying for another ‘flash’ of memory, to no avail.

We went over a bridge and drove through an enormous canyon of buildings surrounding us on all sides. I smiled, watching the throngs of people pouring out of the subway, looking very much like busy ants leaving the nest in search for food.

We pulled up in front of a tall aluminum and glass colored building and I recognized it.

Unfortunately, it wasn’t because I remembered something, it was because Brad pointed it out to me when we were on our way home from the hospital.

“This is us.” Brad announced. “Stay put, I’ll come around.”

He got out and walked around the back of the car and opened my door.

“Jay, I’ll call you.” Brad looked at his watch, “We’ll be about four or five hours.”

“Very well.” He said politely, “And Miss Sarah?” he hesitated, “it’s really nice to see you up and about again.”

“Um, thank you Jay…son. Jason. Thank you.”

He nodded and I watched until he slowly pulled away from the curb.

I glanced up, tilting my head all the way back.

“I work here?”

“You did… do.”

“Wow, it is getting really aggravating not remembering anything about my life. I can’t explain how frustrating it all is.”

“Let’s get you upstairs to your office and see if anything there jogs a memory.”

“Okay. You lead, I’ll follow.” I was confused and not sure where to go.

“We go together.” He grabbed my hand and we walked towards the large looming building. We walked up to the door to the left and an immaculately dressed doorman opened the door for us, as the rest of the workers entered through the revolving doors like drones.

“Sir.”

“Thank you.” Brad said, his voice commanding, in control. He was everything I wished I could be.

I was like a sponge, soaking up the vibe: the sounds, sights and smells. People rushed in looking so regimented, for a few seconds I actually envied them. I wanted structure in my life; purpose, meaning.

Damn it!

“I love the noise. Does that sound weird?”

“No, you always loved the noise.” He looked at me with that half grin and half smile, like he knew something I didn’t. But considering the situation, he knew a lot that I couldn’t remember.

“I’m not corny.” I declared.

“Yup.  You keep telling yourself that.” He smiled and pulled me closer to him as he navigated us to the back of the elevator bank. We entered the last elevator.

“You know, we first met on an elevator in this building.”

“I know.” I said, smiling.

His eyes opened wide, the look on his face was a mix between ecstatic and fearful.

“
You know?”
the hopeful gleam in his eyes was so hot I wanted to lie to him and say ‘of course I remember silly’…but thought better of it.

“I’m sorry…I mean, I just read about it in the diary.”

“That’s right, you wrote in that book nearly every night.” The smile faded and the gleam in his eyes did as well. A deflated look flitted over his features in a flash.

“Sorry. I just read about how you and Sar… I meet.”

“It’s
my
favorite memory.” His smile was back again, and I for one preferred it to the sadness I saw moments ago.

“I think it must have been mine too. She…I seemed so excited when I wrote it.”

We rode the elevator up to the forty-second floor and exited. When we stepped out, he veered to the left. We walked down a hallway, his hand firmly holding my elbow. When stopped in front of a door that said
Sarah Williamson, Architect.

“That’s me?” I was overwhelmed, but I could clearly hear the excitement in my tone. I had a career. I was a professional and…I don’t remember anything.

“This is you.” He inserted a key that was on his key ring and the door opened. The office smelled musty, old, unused and that brought me down. I don’t know why exactly.

Brad walked over and pressed a few keys on a keypad and then turned to look at me, bidding me inside with a look.

I walked through, slowly taking everything in, waiting and hoping for something to wake the sleeping Sarah inside me.

“Where is everyone?” I asked. “It looks like it’s not been used for a long time.”

“Well,” He said looking at his watch, “I put Lena on leave, full pay of course. The guys, Eric, Daniel and Mark, are all at the two sites. At least I hope they are. Your firm designed and is leading my two latest projects. Remember, I told you about them, downtown Manhattan and Fort Lee, New Jersey?”

He looked a bit nervous, but I did remember that.

“Yes, I remember you telling me about the two projects.” I reassured him with a smile. “Lena. That would be my assistant?”

“Yes.” He smiled.

Chapter Fifteen

I walked over and stared through a long glass wall separating the waiting area from the receptionist’s desk. The large area was decorated tastefully and elegantly. 

Brad took my hand and we walked down a somewhat long hallway. There were two doors for the lavatories: male and female, another door with the name Mark Jacobs with brushed lettering with a long string of letters after his name. There was also another door with the names of Eric Richards, and Daniel McDonough spelled out in the same tasteful brushed steel lettering as was on all the doors.

I peeked inside, feeling every bit of the peeping Tom I was, and noticed piles of papers on each desk and a large slanted table with three lights attached. Next to it was a bin holding several thick rolls of paper, all standing upright.

I stood glancing at the organized mess for a few moments. Then I looked up to find Brad watching me, he was down the hall a little bit standing in front of a door that said Sarah Williamson, Architect, with more letters than Mark had.

“I guess when you’re the boss you get more letters huh?”

He let out a short laugh.

“Generally speaking, yes.” He was shaking his head smiling.

He opened the door and I followed him inside.

There was a large light colored wood and sea green glass desk with a black leather chair behind it. To the right there was a small seating area consisting of two small sofas, a chair and a square table. There was also a door on the left side of the desk. I walked over to it and opened it.

Inside was a large private bathroom, and I suddenly remembered the part in the diary where I supposedly tried to wash Brad’s shirt off after I’d spilt hot coffee on him.

I smiled.

“It’s another part of the diary I read. I guess I’m clumsy as well as corny.”

“No, just corny.” He laughed.

I opened another door behind the desk and walked into the small kitchen. There was a table and two chairs, a fridge, a water cooler, a microwave, sink and toaster oven. There was another door that led to a separate entrance from the main offices.

“All the comforts of home.” I mumbled.

I turned around, closely examining my surroundings.

“Mmmm.”

“Nothing?” His voice held a note of hope in it.

“Sorry. No. I would like to remember this. I mean, I must have been successful to some degree.”

“You were…are very successful.”

“Wow, to have accomplished all this and not remember any of it. It’s just so confusing and frustrating. Not to mention frightening.” I felt hot tears fill my eyes and was powerless to stop them.

“Come here.” Brad pulled me to his chest. “Everything will be fine.” His hand held my head close to his chest. “Listen, I know this sounds oversimplified, but you have to realize, your life isn’t over. If you never remember anything, it doesn’t change how the people who love you feel about you. We are just so damned happy you are with us. If you get your memory back, that would be wonderful, but…” He pulled away and tilted my face upwards with his long elegant fingers, “but, if you don’t, I, we, will still love you just as much. Like I told you before, we’ll make new memories. Either way I’m okay with it.”

“I’m
not
okay with it. I feel like…like…such a failure.” I sobbed.

“Sarah, baby, you are nothing of a failure. You are a beautiful, bright woman and I love you more now than I ever did. Just look at all the fun I get to have making you fall in love with me all over again.”

“You still want to marry me?” I was startled by my words. I didn’t realize that this had been a fear of mine, or at the opposite end of the spectrum, what if I didn’t want to marry him after I got to know him? I was more than overwhelmed.

“Sarah, I’ll always love you no matter what.” Simple words for an all too confusing feeling.

“Thank you?”

Brad chuckled.

“Let’s go upstairs to my office, I’ll get some things done and then we’ll go get something to eat.” He squeezed me to him. “And if you’re a really good girl, I’ll take you shopping and buy you something pretty.”

His voice held a tone of seriousness to it, but his smile told a whole other story.

I thought about it for a minute.

I didn’t want to go upstairs to sit on a couch and fawned over by someone I don’t remember or who feels sorry for me.

“Would it be alright if I just go back downstairs? I want to just go have a look around outside.”

He seemed thoughtful for a minute.

“Well…” He looked over my head, out the window with the incredible view of midtown Manhattan. “Yeah, I think that’s a great idea. You were always…you are in love with this city. You used to say you ‘feel the electricity in the air’. Just remember the address. The city is a grid, it’s hard to get lost.”

“I’m sure I can remember an address. I mean I lost my memory, not my ability to think.” I laughed, trying to make light of a very tense moment.

“You’re right. You’re an adult. I’m just over protective when it comes to you. Especially after what almost happened.”

I got a chill, like I did every time I thought about what could have happened, but there was a sort of peace that descended upon me when I thought briefly, and I mean very briefly, that maybe I would have been better off. Maybe my family and those that loved me would be better off if I just…but I knew deep down inside me, I was never a coward. I never would take the easy way out. In fact, if anything, I would fight tooth and nail to get where I wanted to go. At least that is what I think I would have done.

Of course, there was no way to confirm this, with any certainty, but I had a gut feeling, and that is something I
knew
was a part of me, the old me, and the new me…Holy cow, he’s right…I am cor…unusual.

He reached into his jacket pocket and handed me the phone he had given me.

“Here, take this. It’s your cell phone. Remember, I’m number two on the speed dial. Just press and hold the number two and it will automatically call my cell.”

“You mean to tell me you’re not number one?” I was trying to look serious, but of course, I was a little too corny to pull that off.

“Cute.” He smiled. I took the phone out of his hand. “Number one is always designated to 911 – Emergency.”

“I will call you if I get into trouble.”

“Please don’t get into trouble.”

“I’ll do my best to suppress the incredible urge building inside me to rob a convenience store.”

“Good plan.” He laughed. That sweet sound caused my breath to hitch. “Then just meet me out front at,” he looked at his watch, “say 1:30? Is that enough time for you to hatch an alternative diabolical plan?”

“I don’t believe it is.”

“Then I’ll see you at 1:30.”

“Sounds perfect. I’m excited.”

“Call me if anything…you know, if you get scared or you remember anything. In fact, call me each hour on the hour.”

“Over protective doesn’t begin to cover it.”

“Put up with me please, just for a little while longer?”

“I’m sorry. Of course I will. You’ve been so wonderful.”

“Just be careful and…have fun. You know where I am. Sixty-second floor.” He said the numbers slowly, distinctly, like I was deaf. Then he pointed up.

“Duh, and you call me corny.” I mumbled.

Brad walked me to the elevator and pushed the button. As I stood in front of the open door, he leaned in and kissed me softly on my mouth and all the tingly parts tingled, right on cue.