Everlost (The Night Watchmen Series Book 3) (21 page)

He pulls me into a hug as my throat constricts and my eyes fill with tears. As everything that has happened up until now, the good moments… the bad ones… bombard my heart.

“I’m proud of you, Faye. Proud to be here, in this house, fighting to change the ways of the Coven with you. You’ve been through a lot, yet you haven’t let it strip away who you are. That says a lot about your character. It speaks for Mary and Russell, and how well they’ve raised you.”

I hug him tighter, thankful in this moment to have him here. To have family.

He chuckles to himself, and then says, “So there’s no need to explain yourself, okay? I trust your judgment. I’m just ornery and set in my ways.”

He waits long enough for me to nod in agreement.

“Okay. Good.” He pats me once on the back. “See you tonight?”

I nod at him and he heads out of the kitchen, leaving me staring out the window at Evangeline’s form. This has to work. We have to get along, not only for our sake, but for Jaxen and Gavin’s too.

“Do you want to help me cook?” Cassie asks me as she pulls a jar stuffed with dry noodles out of the pantry.

Evangeline disappears through the front door of the guesthouse. I turn around to face Cassie. “Nah. I think I’ll head out back and start gathering wood for the fire. Fresh air sounds good right now.”

Weldon bursts through the kitchen door, calling out, “Did you just say you needed fresh air? How is that going to help you fetch me a drink, Faye?” Jaxen walks in behind him and then they both stop, taking in the look on all of our faces.

Weldon’s scowl changes into a slow smirk as he says, “Uh-oh. I know that face. What did we miss?”

JAXEN FOLLOWS ME OUT THE back door without saying a word.

He saw the look on my face. Read me like the open book I am to him. He knows whatever just happened had to do with his mother. If he didn’t read it on my face, then he surely did on his brother’s. We make it halfway across the backyard when he reaches for my hand. I tell myself to slow my steps. Force myself to put on a smile that will ease what he’s going to hear.

“We need to gather wood for the bonfire tonight.”

“Bonfire?”

“Yes. We thought it would be a good way for everyone to get to know one another, so we can ease the trust in.” I head through the pergola and past the herb garden, until I reach the shed that leads to Jaxen’s family’s underground weapon stash house. I remember seeing wood piled up on the side.

Jaxen doesn’t say anything else until we reach the side of the shed. I try to move a little quicker to bring more body heat. It’s cooler on this side of the shed, under the shade provided by the forest, and it’s somewhat inviting. Private. Quiet. So quiet, that I imagine if I close my eyes tight enough, I can almost hear the trees exhaling their secrets. Whispering to us to open my heart and my mind.

I’m sure his mind is in overdrive, trying to process what exactly this bonfire will mean. Seeing his mother. Hearing her speak. Hearing her side of what happened.

There will be no denying it. No chance to walk away from it. We have to do this. We have to try to get along with them, if not for their help in the upcoming battle, then because we made a deal, and a Watchman never goes back on a deal.

I’m already grabbing a piece of wood to put in the small wagon next to it, when he says, “I think I’m ready.”

I set the wood down in the wagon and turn to look at him. “Ready?”

“Ready to hear her out,” he says, resolution in his gaze. “I talked with Weldon about what happened back in the city, and somehow, that conversation turned into my mom, and Mack, and all the other things that are kind of out of our hands at the moment.”

“And?” I ask, stepping over a pile of fallen branches to be closer to him.

“And we both settled on the idea that deep down, we know we love them. We know we want to hear them out. Give them a chance. And we’re not doing anyone a favor by putting it off. Not when there are so many other, bigger issues to be dealt with.”

I hear the relief in his voice. Like it’s been held captive in the dark recesses of a cave, and has finally tasted sunlight for the first time in a long time. Breathing fresh air. Taking shape again.

He brushes his fingers through my hair and settles his hand on the back of my neck. Nudges his nose against mine.

“I’m proud of you,” I say, smiling softly up at him.

“I kind of am too,” he says, staring at my lips. He chuckles.

“What?” I ask, smiling deeper now.

“You. What have you done to me?”

I feel my brow crease.

“I can’t remember ever feeling so at peace. Being able to come to terms and make decisions based off my emotions. Healthy decisions. Decisions that are right.” He takes a small breath, and his green eyes bore into me as he finishes, “You’ve turned me upside down.”

I wrap my arms around his waist and meet his gaze. “Or maybe just right-side up,” I say, moving closer against him.

There’s a subtle shift in the air when I do this. I see it in his eyes. Feel it deep in the pit of my stomach. It’s been so long since we’ve been alone together with even the smallest amount of peace.

Hunger takes the shape of our hearts, forming between us. Pulling us toward each other.

I try to remember how to breathe.

But he can see what he does to me in my eyes. I know, because I see it reflected back at me. I see the way he eyes my lips like he wants to devour him. Feel his fingers moving slowly up the side of my stomach until they’re just underneath my breast outside my shirt, asking to take what he already knows I’m willing to give.

“Jaxen,” I plead, but it’s all I get out because his lips slam against mine as his hands twirl inside my hair, crushing me against him. He lifts me up, wrapping my legs around his waist, and carries me around the shed to the door, kicking it open with his foot.

He sets me down inside. Closes the door behind us. Locks it.

When he turns back around, we’re both staring at each other, our chests heaving up and down erratically. Our skin practically sizzling with electricity.

“I want to be inside of you. Right now,” he says, his gaze so intense. His words drunk with lust.

All I can do is nod as fire spreads throughout my body, waiting to ignite him.

Two steps.

One deep breath.

He walks me backward until I bump up against the wall. I pull my sweater off, over my head, and throw it down. Watch through dizzy eyes as he shifts out of his jacket, keeping his eyes locked on mine. He’s looking at me with such intensity. Such need. Like he’s spent his entire life wandering a desert and only just found his oasis.

He wants to savor this moment. Swim in it. Relish it.

I don’t want to wait for him to make the first move. I can’t. I lift my hand and press it against his thundering heart, yearning to feel its strength. And, the moment I touch him, he comes alive.

Urgency has taken over.

His lips are on mine again, harder this time, pulling me down into a madness I never want to come up from. A madness that consumes every one of my brain cells, and I don’t think I’ll ever be sane again. His hands are everywhere, tugging and pulling at fabric that won’t seem to disappear. Fabric that I want to just wish away so his skin can be on mine. So his heat will be my heat.

I reach for the button of his pants, fingers fumbling nervously over one another as they desperately try to work, and he groans against my mouth with every touch, deepening his kisses as his hands find the hem of my undershirt. He’s trying so hard to pull it up… to get it off so he can finally have all of me, but neither of us wants to stop kissing. Neither of us can go a moment more without the feel of the other’s lips.

So he rips the thin material straight down the middle.

He pulls back. Draws in air sharply as his eyes drink me in, and I don’t think I’ve ever felt so bold. So on fire as I match his gaze.

Time, it seems, has escaped us for a little while.

He tugs the lacy material covering my breasts down and slides his lips over my skin until my back is arched and my moans are begging him not to stop. Never to stop. His hands are electric, sparking against every inch of my bare skin he can touch, and it still isn’t enough. There’s a desperation in the way he’s kissing me, a sweet longing that takes every awful thing that’s happened and makes it seem like a nightmare that never was. A misplaced memory that belongs to someone else.

Fog lives in my brain. Butterflies have nested in my heart.

When he’s had his fill of teasing, he lowers himself to his knees, so slowly, filling up on my lust. I reach for him, trying to pull him back up to me, because all I can think about is his lips on mine, but then he unbuttons my pants and slides them down. Grabs the back of my thighs, holding me steady, and then presses his lips against the soft material of my underwear.

I swear I’ll never come down from this as my fingers dig into his hair. As my knees threaten to buckle and my lungs race to keep up with the rapid pace of my heart.

He pushes my underwear aside and takes his time teasing me. Torturing me with his lips and his tongue and his deep green eyes until I give him what he wants. Until I call out his name, begging him for more. Begging him to take everything I have to give. When I do, he looks up at me, his hungry, brazen gaze alone making my mind feel like it’s rolling off a cliff and onto a cloud that will float us up to the heavens.

He slides my underwear all the way down, keeping his eyes on mine. Drops them next to him, along with my pants. His lips slowly trail up my legs and his velvet tongue slides over the insides of my thighs, making them quiver uncontrollably. Making every nerve ending in my body explode in a pleasure I’ve only just discovered.

Fire lives in his eyes.

He never leaves my gaze as he takes me past the point of no return. As he turns me into putty only he has the strength to mold. When I cry out, knees buckling, he stands up, his pants falling down to his ankles, and then enters me, lifting me up and wrapping my legs around his waist.

“Goddamn, Faye,” he says as he holds onto me for a moment, his entire body quivering in pleasure.

“I can’t get enough. Never,” I say, kissing his neck and his ear, and every inch of skin I can reach.

He starts to move, slowly at first, sliding in and out, but then his pace picks up, filled with a madness I’m certain can never be quenched. I wrap my hands around his neck and kiss him hard as we both slip further and further into insanity. His whole body tenses when he climbs the edge, and I hang onto him, overcome with so many emotions. So much love, satisfaction, and fulfillment.

We stay that way for a long moment, clinging onto one another as if the world was splitting in half and if we let go, we’d never find each other again. He rests his head against my shoulder, trying to catch his breath with his hands still gripping my outer thighs and our hearts beating wildly against each other, trying to find a steady pace.

I never want to leave this moment. Never want to leave his arms.

But a slight chill creeps in through the window near us.

When he finally puts me down, he hands me my clothes, and then pulls his pants up. I hold my ripped-up shirt out, and we both laugh a little. After I get my underwear on and pull my pants up, I put my sweater back on and look up at him, feeling everything we just did tingle in the pit of my stomach. Feeling a calm I haven’t felt in weeks finally settle in.

His smile bathes me in sunshine. He looks so peaceful. So happy, and then we both laugh a little as we realize how far we just went in our surroundings.

I count the seconds between us, wishing I could catch them and keep them.

He slides his hand over my cheek. Kisses me softly, telling me so many things without saying a single word.

“I’ve missed you.”

“So much,” I reply with eyes squeezed shut.

He lifts my hand, and then his, placing them against each other, palm to palm. His hands are almost double the size of mine, fingers thick with muscle and marked with callouses. They could swallow mine whole. His fingers weave with mine as he looks down at me with so much love in his eyes. So much affection that it robs me of breath. Makes my knees turn to jelly.

“I wish I could keep you all to myself. Forever,” he says softly.

“I know.”

He pulls me close to him and leans his forehead against mine, and I know that he wishes we could stay like this forever. Safe. Happy. But the world is knocking and we can’t avoid it any longer. With one last kiss, he pulls back and says, “So a bonfire?”

I swallow away the moment and force myself back into the real world. “I thought it would be a good idea. A neutral territory.”

He pushes the door open for me and follows me out of the shed. “I think so too. Nighttime always seems to help secrets reveal themselves.”

“Yeah.” I kiss his cheek. “I’m just hoping that everyone will cooperate and get along.”

He looks out into the distance, across the yard where the small cottage housing the wolves is. “This is all so crazy. In a million years, I would have never guessed that we’d be housing werewolves and a vampire. Or that my mother would be one of them.” He turns back to look at me. “I just hope there aren’t any more surprises. I’m not sure I could adjust to anything else.”

“I don’t think it could get any worse,” I say.