Evermore (26 page)

"You were only sixteen," Louis said
gently.

"Emily is only seventeen and look what she's
had to contend with." She sighed. "Mama bore all the scandal with a
smile on her face, and loved you like her own. She was a better
mother than I could have been. I wasn't ready, certainly not in
those early years."

"I never felt unloved," I said. After meeting
that boy Dan, and Cara of course, I knew how lucky I was to have
people who loved me. My family might be unconventional, but I never
lacked anything. In a way I had two mothers, and now I had a father
too.

"No wonder you were upset with Louis for not
writing," I said.

"As she ought to be," he said. "If I'd
known..."

"It must have been a shock when he returned
suddenly." I was just beginning to realize how much of a shock.
She'd thought he'd died or given up and found another woman in the
colonies, but to find out he was alive and still in love with her
must have been quite a tumultuous experience.

"I told you I loved your
mother," Louis said. "That wasn't a lie. I loved her—Celia—but I
became ashamed of my circumstances. I wanted to do better for her.
I wanted to
be
better. A prisoner with no money to his name in a far off
land is not a good prospect. I couldn't ask her to wait for
me."

"I wouldn't have cared," she said.

"Perhaps. Either way, your mother wouldn't
have let you come to me if she'd known how far I'd fallen. And I
have my pride too. It's not just men like Lord Preston who want the
best for their loved ones, it's us ordinary folk too."

"What you or Lord Preston
thinks is best, is not always what
is
best," Celia said,
huffily.

"So what now?" I asked. "Are you going back
to Melbourne?"

"Soon," he said. "I can't stay here, Emily.
I'm sorry. I know you won't come with me. Your life is here with
Jacob. I wouldn't take you away now. But your mother...I hope she
will return with me. And Cara too."

My mother. It sounded so strange. To think,
yesterday I had a sister and no mother, and today I had no sister
but a mother. Whatever would I discover next? "Do I have to call
you Mama?" I asked her.

"Only when you're ready." She nudged me, an
impish smile on her face. It wasn't at all like a mother should
behave, but very much as an older sister would. I wondered if I
could ever think of Celia as a daughter ought.

"So you're going to leave?" I asked her.

"I don't know." Her smile faded. Her fingers
twisted in her lap. "We've talked it through, Louis and I, but I
need time to think about it."

"So you care for him still?"

"I never stopped."

Well, she'd hidden her feelings well. I
thought she hated him.

"I need to see you settled first," she
said.

Settled with Jacob. "It's late," I said. "I
want to see Jacob." I began to rise but Celia's firm hand on my arm
stopped me. "Emily." She glanced past me to Louis.

I swiveled to face him. "What is it?"

Louis patted my hand but I could see
something troubled him too. "Now that it's all over, and their
lives are returning to normal, there's a chance you may not be
welcome at the Beaufort household."

"But...why?"

"Jacob is nobility," Celia said. "Goodness,
they don't even want their daughter to wed your friend Culvert and
he's rich and comes from good stock. They'll want a grand match for
Jacob, not..."

"Not a girl like me," I finished for her.
Melancholy swept over me, and fierce longing too. Everything inside
me ached. I had to see Jacob and hear from his own lips what he
wanted. If I had to fight for him, I would.

***

I did not see Jacob upon arriving at his
Belgrave Square house. We were shown into the drawing room by
Polson and greeted by Mrs. Stanley and George.

"Emily!" George went to hug me but recalled
his manners at the last moment and kissed the back of my hand
instead. "I've just got here myself. Mrs. Stanley too."

She sat very still on a chair, her reticule
in her lap, her dark gaze returning mine with defiance. "I have
come for my payment," she said with a thrust of her long chin.

"Payment?"

"Yes," George whispered. "You recall what it
was."

I went cold. I remembered. She wanted one of
us to kill her. "I...I don't think...Mrs. Stanley, it's all over
now. Please, do not ask us to follow through on the promise we made
under such desperate circumstances."

"None of us wishes you the fate you wish upon
yourself," Celia added.

"You promised!" She growled
and bared her teeth, and all of a sudden she went from mild,
middle-aged woman to a snapping, wild beast. "You said you
understood." This she said to me. "You, of all people,
should
understand. I
don't want to be here. Not without him."

"What does she mean,
you
should understand?"
Celia asked me.

"Nothing," I mumbled.

"Tell them how it felt up there when you
delivered the curse," Mrs. Stanley sneered. "Tell them how you
wanted to stay with him, dead, and not come back here."

"But..." Celia dragged on my shoulder,
spinning me round to face her. But I could not look her in the
eyes. "You came back. She came back," she said to Mrs. Stanley.

"I said she
wanted
to stay there,
not that she did or could."

"Emily..."

"Don't, Celia. It's over. What's important is
the next chapter of our lives." I didn't want to tell her I'd
wanted to die. She wouldn't understand.

"You are with your loved one, Miss Chambers."
Mrs. Stanley said, approaching me. "Now it's my turn to be with
mine." She opened her reticule and pulled out a small pistol. "Take
it. Aim true." She thrust it into my hand. When I hesitated, she
added, "If you don't, I will put another curse on you."

Celia pulled me closer, half shielding me.
"That's enough," Louis said. "Leave my daughter alone."

Mrs. Stanley's lip curled
into a snarl. "
Go from this
world
." She pointed a bony finger at me.
"
Go free, spirit, and leave this earthly
body
."

My skin tingled. My insides felt as if they
were unraveling. "Something's happening! She's cursing me."

"Stop!" Jacob shouted from the doorway.

"
I
set you free, oh spirit, never to return
."

My head throbbed. The room spun out of
control. My legs gave way and I crumpled like a ragdoll.

Someone caught me before I hit the floor. The
pistol was removed from my hand.

The noise level suddenly
rose, piercing me behind the eyes. Everyone was shouting at once,
making it impossible to distinguish words. All except Mrs.
Stanley's high-pitched, crazed, "
Be
gone—
"

The gunshot punched a hole through the wall
of noise. The following silence was almost as deafening.

Mrs. Stanley lay on the floor, blood seeping
out of a bullet wound in her chest. It was the same manner in which
Price had died.

"Is she all right?" That was Celia and I
suspected she was asking after my health, not Mrs. Stanley's who
was clearly dead.

Mrs. Stanley's spirit rose out of her body
and hovered nearby. "Thank you." She said it to Jacob, not me, and
I realized he was holding the pistol. He'd shot her. Mrs. Stanley
nodded once then vanished.

Celia knelt in front of me, flapping her hand
at my face. "Emily, can you hear me?"

"Y, yes." I sat up. Jacob pushed the hair
from my face and kissed each of my eyelids tenderly.

"What in blazes was that?" Lord Preston
bellowed from the doorway.

"I shot her," said Jacob. "She was going to
kill Emily."

I opened my mouth to protest, but at Celia's
whispered "Hush" I shut it again.

"Bloody hell," Lord Preston muttered.

Through the thick fog clouding my head, I
heard George and Adelaide, Lady Preston too. Everyone was there.
Jacob was there. Holding me, rocking me. He didn't speak.

After several minutes, his mother's gentle
voice sounded close to my ear. "Let her go, Jacob."

He shook his head. I breathed in a deep,
shuddering breath. "Never."

I pulled away and extricated my arms from his
embrace. "I'm all right, Jacob. I'm here." I wiped his tears away
with my thumbs, but I did not try to stand. I liked being there
with him, so close together. Liked it very much.

"I don't care what people say," he whispered.
"I don't care what you do." This he said to his father. "I will not
give her up. Cut me off, disinherit me, it doesn't matter. I've
been given another chance and I will not waste my life with someone
I don't love. I love Emily, and I'm going to be with her."

Lord Preston cleared his throat and stretched
his neck. His impressive whiskers twitched. "Well," was all he
said.

"We can't," his wife said. She was still on
her knees near us, her pretty face etched with concern. She looked
much older. "We can't do this to him. Not now."

Lord Preston nodded slowly, thoughtfully.
"But she will have to give up her séances."

"That certainly won't be a problem," I
said.

"And we'll have to gloss over your family
origins when our friends ask," Lady Preston said with a somewhat
apologetic wince in Celia's direction.

"I won't deny who my parents are," I
said.

"Stop putting conditions on it, Mother."
Jacob rose and helped me to stand. My legs still felt weak but he
tucked me into his side and I felt safe. "She will marry me, and
that's final."

"You could tell everyone her parents are from
the colonies," Celia said. "Louis and I are leaving for Melbourne
soon anyway, so it wouldn't be a lie. Tell them her father went
there to make his fortune many years ago and now he has." She
smiled at Louis and he smiled back. "Tell them whatever to
want."

"We could say he holds an important
position," Lady Preston said, thoughtful. "Communication between
the colonies and England is scarce at best. A good plan, Miss
Chambers."

"Mother," Jacob chided.

"It's not for our sakes, dear, but for
Emily's. The less speculation there is about her family, the easier
it will be for her to fit into your life."

"What are the prospects like in the
colonies?" Lord Preston asked Louis. "Any projects a man can sink
capital into?"

"A man of capital could do very well there,"
Louis said. His eyes twinkled with new vigor. "Melbourne is a
thriving settlement and more permanent buildings are going up all
the time."

"Come into my study and we can discuss it
further. Perhaps we can strike more than one arrangement between
families today."

"Wait a moment, Father," Adelaide said. She
took George's hand and he trailed behind her as she raced after her
father. He stumbled then recovered and pushed his glasses up his
nose. "If Jacob marries whomever he chooses, then so do I. And I
choose George."

"We'll discuss it later," Lord Preston
said.

"We will discuss it now."

"Father," Jacob said on a sigh. "At least
listen to her. Culvert is a good man. You won't find better, and we
owe him a great deal."

"You don't owe me anything, Beaufort," George
said. "I certainly wouldn't accept Adelaide as payment."

"Hush," Adelaide said. "Marriage is as much a
financial arrangement as anything else. If Father wants to give me
to you as thanks, then we'll accept it."

"If you say so."

I looked to Jacob and he winked at me as he
tried not to smirk.

Adelaide kissed her brother's cheek. "Thank
you."

Lord Preston surprised us all by folding
Adelaide into an embrace. "It seems my study is about to become
very crowded. Come with me. Jacob, take Emily into the breakfast
parlor where you can be alone. I'll send the servants in to clean
up this mess."

I watched them leave, tears clogging my
throat. I felt utterly undeserving of such love, but grateful for
it anyway.

Jacob took me into the adjoining smaller
parlor and closed the door. His breathing made the only sound in
the room. I'd never heard anything sweeter.

He touched my chin and I looked up at him. He
was smiling openly, such a rare and precious sight. "I shouldn't be
allowed to be this happy," he said, the smile slipping a
little.

"Don't say that. What happened to Frederick
isn't your fault."

"It was in a way, but I won't jeopardize my
future happiness because of a past mistake." His nod was emphatic
and final. "If I learned anything from this whole experience it's
that life is worth living. Even the bad parts. Indeed, the bad only
makes the good seem so much better." He hooked me round the waist
and reeled me in. "And you are so very, very good."

He kissed me, hard and hungry at first, like
he couldn't get enough. Then it softened and I wallowed in the
warmth of his lips, the taste of his tongue, his smell, all the
things I'd wanted to experience but couldn't when he was in spirit
form.

He broke the kiss and kneeled down on the
floor.

"Jacob, are you all right? Do you still feel
weak?"

He grinned. "I am better than I've ever
felt." He sobered and the blue of his eyes intensified as his gaze
locked onto mine. "Emily." He took my hands in both of his. My
heart skipped madly in my chest. "Before you, I was lost," he said.
"Whether in this realm when I was alive, or in the Waiting Area, my
life was only half-lived until you came along and filled it. You
were the only light in my dark world, a calm island in a raging
sea. You changed everything. You changed me. And now I want you to
complete me by being my wife."