Evermore (8 page)

He wasn’t exactly certain what that expression meant but he nodded like he had. His capacity to understand whatever she would have explained was slim to none. Homer liked the idea of not being as much of a risk to Camille. And really, if the step down didn’t work, they’d simply cut him off and he’d live or die with the same odds as before.

“Let’s try the step down.”

Tatyana nodded. “Sounds good.”

“Wait.” A thought dawned on him. “Where are you getting the drugs?”

“We didn’t give them all away. We kept some for just this reason.”

Tatyana held up a syringe and Camille moved to his side to lace their fingers together. Unlike the first time his captors had stuck him, this time it didn’t hurt. The easiness of the dragon drugs moved through his system and he was able to take a deep breath.

“That was a full dose.” Tatyana spoke but it wasn’t directed to him, rather Camille who nodded. “This time next week, a quarter less.”

“Then I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” She squeezed his fingers and he smiled up at her. Everything felt so much better. And he knew that should be concerning him a great deal. Right then, he didn’t care.

****

Two days later, with a full meal settled in his stomach, he ventured out on the porch. Camille sat on a couch he didn’t recognize that she must have acquired and was quietly folding laundry. His mate looked so…domestic and his heart clenched.

“I’m sorry you have to put up with this.” He could feel his hands weren’t completely steady. Tatyana had given him his full dose for the day and it wasn’t enough. It wasn’t ever going to be. But it was better than having nothing.

She furrowed her brow. “What do you mean? Laundry? It’s actually a treat. Clean clothes. I’m thrilled.”

“No, I mean me. This whole process.”

“Homer.” She extended her hand and he took it, allowing her to pull him down next to her. “This time of day you have gotten really sad, at least for the last two of them since you’ve been back.”

He shook his head. “Have I? Really, I had no idea.”

“It’s got to be chemical. I don’t feel like I’m putting up with anything. Our mating hasn’t been ideal, I’ll grant you. We had a few weeks together and most of them I was sick. Then you got taken. And now you’re back and we’re trying to gently ‘unaddict’ you to drugs. It’s not like you asked for the problem. You survived a battle. Let me care for you now. It’s my pleasure. The baby will be here in a few more weeks. Who knows what use I’ll be to anyone then?”

The baby. He’d not given much of a thought to it having not considered anyone except himself for so long. “You feeling okay?”

“Huge. And fine.”

“You don’t look huge.”

She laughed and the sound lifted his spirits. “You’re sweet.”

Camille leaned over to kiss him. The contact shocked his core and for a second he didn’t move. Her lips were so soft and he didn’t know if he still deserved to kiss her.

“Homer.” Her voice was a breath over his mouth. “This too shall pass.”

Like she’d given him permission he kissed his mate and tried to believe her.

****

If he’d thought the final weeks of stepping down the dragon drugs would be the easy ones he’d been hugely mistaken. A headache settled permanently in his head and his mood plummets were not limited to particular times of day.

“Why is it so fucking hot in here?” He immediately wished he could bite his tongue. Camille did not deserve his mood or his foul mouth. “Sorry.”

She raised her eyebrows and didn’t comment. His mate was looking at colors, had been all day. She wanted to sew the baby some clothes. One shade of green looked the same to him.

“Seriously, why is it so hot?” He wiped at his brow.

“It’s not. Kind of chilly actually.” She shrugged. “Must be part of the step-down process.”

“I love how you say that like it’s no big deal. I’ve been stuck in this house for weeks basically doing nothing useful and everything sucks. So, yeah, I’m sure you’re right. My new inability to regulate my body temperature is probably part of the step down process.” He stood, the chair he sat in flying backwards. “And fuck I’m so sorry. I wouldn’t yell at you for anything in the world and I can’t stop doing it.”

He stormed onto the porch. The cool night air didn’t make his temper better. Robbie had promised to kill him if he hurt her. Where the fuck was the other man to make it happen?

“Can I ask a question?” Camille leaned in the doorframe.

“If you have to.” He closed his eyes. “Leaving me alone might be the better option.”

“Why haven’t you shifted?”

Her words hung out in there night as she vocalized his pain. “I told my wolf to go away. I didn’t want him seeing me on drugs. He’s not come back.”

“Ask him to.” She stepped next to him. They had no idea how his other pack mates on the step down program were doing. When they asked, Tatyana would smile and say fine. She didn’t want them to worry. If they heard something had gone wrong, they’d obsess. Or so she said. He thought her scientist mind dictated terms and wanted them to not affect each other’s results.

“What if doesn’t come? What if I’m now a male without a wolf?”

She pressed her face against his arm and he could breathe again. Touching Camille always brought him so much relief. He didn’t want her to feel like she had to, like physical contact with him was a burden instead of something she wanted.

“I can still smell your wolf.”

“Yes?” He turned to her pulling her against him. Her pregnant belly touched him first, a reminder he had to get his shit together and fast. The child would be coming and he wasn’t going to be the kind of father who was always yelling. He wouldn’t be his own dad.

Come back. He sent the message to his wolf and waited. Seconds passed and then he felt him. His wolf rubbed against him. Gasping, he hugged Camille tighter.

“I can feel him too.” She laughed. “Go shift. Go run. It’ll help. It must.”

“I’ll be back.” He kissed her hard. “I swear I’ll make these weeks up to you.”

Homer called his wolf to him and like it had been in the past the change came fast. Seconds later he was out the door heading into the night. For the first time in weeks he felt free.

****

Camille was in labor. She’d known it for hours. Only she had no intention of letting anyone else know. Not before Homer did. Staring at Robbie, she smiled when she wanted to grimace. Learning to shield her emotions had been one of the things she did with her time while she watched Homer suffer. On the off chance his sense of smell came back, she didn’t want him knowing how utterly sad she was for him.

He was a fighter. She believed he’d get through this. If he ever came back.

“One week.” Robbie sighed. “He shifted and we haven’t seen or heard for him for one week.”

“If I had thought this would happen.” She paused to breathe. “I’d never have suggested it.”

“My fear is he’s gone to the woods. His wolf thought he was too sick to recover and took him to transition.”

Older werewolves eventually shifted and never came back. They died in their wolf forms. Not that many of their kind got to become elderly anymore.

“Or his wolf is running him into recovery. Tatyana thinks it could be that.”

Camille had wanted to punch Tatyana in the face since she’d first brought in the step down idea. How dare the woman experiment on Camille’s mate? Go ahead and shoot Robbie up and see how his recovery goes. She couldn’t, of course, say anything about her feelings. Tatyana was only trying to help.

“You’ll let me know if anyone sees or scents him.”

“Of course.” Robbie pointed to her belly. “I’m going to see to it Derek doesn’t wake up soon.”

“Great.” That really was good news. He hadn’t been a problem, yet. She had no doubt he eventually would be.

“You’re in labor. And you’re hiding it. I don’t even know from you. I can smell the baby’s presence coming. He or she is pack. It’s like I know I’m getting a new member. Weird.”

“Right.” She stood. “Been this way for awhile.”

“Should I get Tatyana?”

“No.” She shook her head, maybe too vehemently and then she tried to smile. “I’ll call for her if I need it. I want to have the baby the way females have been for generations. In my home.”

“With Homer missing you shouldn’t be doing this alone.”

“My Alpha,” as annoyed with his mate as she was she still owed Robbie nothing but mistake, “if Homer is really missing, then I’m going to be doing all of it alone. For evermore. Women do this alone all the time, even ones with mates present. I’m not ready to share this with anyone but Homer. If he can’t be there, I’ll be fine.”

Robbie sat back in his chair. “If you need it, help will be there.”

****

Camille labored all through the night. By the time the pressure and the need to push came on the sun was starting to shine through the clouds showing another day on the horizon. She started to regret not asking for Tatyana. Maybe the woman could just knock her out cold and wake her up when the baby came.

She stumbled down the stairs, deciding she would give birth in the living room. If she screamed for help, maybe someone might have a chance of hearing.

Camille lay down on her back and tried to breathe. Females almost always managed this well. The baby would come, all would be well. Only she missed her mate who had never really become hers. Tears pooled in her eyes and as the next contraction hit she let them fall. Who was there to see her cry? Who cared if she did?

By the time the next contraction hit, she wept outright. Big, ugly, snotty tears streamed down her face. She screamed out her pain, the urge to push becoming overwhelming. She had to get the baby out.

A bang sounded and she turned to look before another pain nearly shattered her. A large wolf ran into the room. Red, and brown spotted he looked at her with deep blue eyes.

“Homer.” She cried, bending her knees. He was there, in his wolf form, and she couldn’t say anything else because the baby was coming. Right. Then.

His transformation was swift and soon he knelt before her. Her mate’s eyes were huge. “Gods, Camille, how much time has passed?” He touched her knee. “I’m so sorry. I had no idea. It feels like an hour. Clearly, it’s not.”

She couldn’t deal with that information, all of her focus shifted as she pushed. And pushed and pushed.

Camille looked up. She couldn’t stand the pain any longer. Where was the baby? Why wasn’t it coming? She looked up and found Homer’s eyes.

Whatever had happened, whatever reason he stayed away she didn’t care. He was there and the sturdy, sure glance of his gaze gave her power. She could get the baby out.

And just like that—she did.

One second she was pregnant, the next Homer held their baby in his arms. And there was crying, both hers and the baby, and a flurry of activity she could barely understand but her mate seemed to know what to do.

The baby was wrapped up and in her arms and she was off the floor, back in their bed where she had never spent the night with her mate, resting.

“She’s beautiful.” Homer lay down next to her. “Looks just like you.”

Camille didn’t know if the baby resembled her. All she knew was their daughter, Paige, was the most gorgeous creature she’d ever beheld. Dark haired, dark eyes, the most beautiful plump lips she had ever seen. Ten fingers, ten toes. A heartbeat. Perfection.

“I’m sorry.” He stroked a hand over the baby’s soft head. “I don’t know what happened.”

“I don’t care about it.” She raised her lips and he kissed her. “You showed up when I needed you. And you look better. Your color is good. You’re not yelling. Whatever happened, let’s put it behind us.”

“You’re amazing. So strong.”

She should be tired only she couldn’t stop looking at her daughter. “I can’t get over she’s here.”

“Ten fingers, ten toes. She smells like honey.”

His words caught her attention. “Your sense of scent is back.”

“Seems to be.” He grinned. “Which is how I know yours has altered. It’s deeper. You’re still mine. Only changed.”

She yawned and Homer extended his arms to take the baby. She placed Paige in his arms. “Thank you for trusting me with her.”

“Never occurred to me not to.” She meant what she said. “You’re her father. You came to us when we needed you. I don’t know why your wolf kept you away. I don’t care. You seem better. I’m so over the moon, Homer.”

He leaned over her, pressing his lips to hers. “I’m going to be a worthy male to you.”

His words made her warm. Was it possible? Had Paige’s arrival brought on better times? “You already are.”

****

Homer passed the baby to Lena with a nod. His mate was out cold upstairs. The baby would wake her when she needed to be fed. Homer planned to be back before anyone noticed. His wolf had vanished him for weeks, that wouldn’t be happening again.

He turned to Robbie who waited in the dark. “You got it together, Homer?”

“I do. For the moment. Day by day, I think. You’ll never have to worry about me because I’m going to let you know if I have a problem.”

He wouldn’t let Camille, Robbie, or the entire pack down.

“I’m really the luckiest Alpha. All four of you have made the same damn pledge, totally unasked for. I’m not sure I’m deserving, but I’ll take it. You should know your captors have been…dealt with.”

Homer wouldn’t have expected anything else which was why he’d never asked. “Painfully?”

“The leaders. The rest were pathetic. I got rid of them fast.”

Funny. Homer could have predicted Robbie would have said that. A lifetime at war had taught them the same thing. You punished the leaders and rid the world of their followers with kindness. Sometimes fast ends were the best he could do.

Homer nodded. He was glad to hear the other four were making it, too, and that Robbie rid the world of the hill wolves. “I have something I need to do.”

“I know.” In the darkness, Robbie nodded. Homer didn’t know if he saw it as much as he felt the agreement. “Get it done, brother. Come back. Time to live the life we earned.”