Every Rose (26 page)

We’re distracted for a few moments, enjoying our meal. After my initial hunger has been sated, I broach the subject again. “As I was saying, I’ve been writing again. A lot. I suddenly have a lot to say. It’s crazy. I’ve also been thinking about what you told me about having a gift and needing to pursue it.” I take a deep breath and release it. “So I’ve applied to a creative writing program. I know you were thinking about that route. Does that bother you?”

He gives me a half grin and shakes his head no. “I think that’s perfect. I think it’s what you were meant to do.”

“I’m nervous. It’s unchartered territory for me, but I just feel…driven to do it. Like once I started writing again, I couldn’t stop. I have to write.”

“That’s how I feel my art. I guess that’s why I have a notebook full of napkins and matchbooks and old envelopes. When it takes over, there’s no stopping it. As it should be when you discover your passion.”

“That’s how I feel about my life right now. It’s as it should be. I’ve rediscovered my faith and it’s grown exponentially, I’ve rediscovered you and my love has grown exponentially, and I’ve rediscovered creating and it’s grown exponentially. It’s all so amazing but overwhelming, too.”

He nods his head seriously at me and concurs, “I get it.”

“So, the shocking part. The creative writing program that I’ve applied to is a little ways from home.”

He laughs. “I hate it there. Where are we going?”

“Just like that. You don’t even know where and you agree to go with me?” I know my words and my eyes are full of wonder. I figured he would be offended that I didn’t consult with him first. I should’ve known better. That wasn’t Michael.

“Yep, it’s just like that.”

I thrill at his simple yet declarative words. “Are you at least curious as to where you’ve agreed to move?” I give him a little knowing smile.

He rolls his neck and shoulders and flexes his hands like he’s getting ready for battle. “OK. I’m ready. Give it to me. Where’re we headed?”

“New York City.” My half grin turns into a full grin. I immediately bite my lip, trying in vain to suppress it.

He falls back against his chair. “Wow…I didn’t see that coming.” He falls forward and runs his hand through his hair. “I mean that’s more than a little ways, babe.”

My stomach drops. I can do no more than stare at him open-mouthed. Is he serious? I thought he might want a fresh start, but now I’m not so sure. “Michael—”

I think my tone and demeanor must clue him in to my distress because he immediately cuts me off with, “Baby, I’m kidding. I’d follow you anywhere. New York has been on my list of places to visit for quite some time. Now, we’ll be living there, which is so much better than visiting.”

“Really?” I squeak out.

“Really,” he affirms. “I was only kidding.”

I playfully smack his arm. “Thanks a lot for scaring me. I want this so much. And how is it that something I’d never even dreamed possible is suddenly the thing I want most in the world?” I shake my head in amazement.

“I’m just glad you realized it before you were half way though law school and bored out of your friggin’ mind,” he teases.

“I’m not just talking about school. I’m talking about it all. You, our life together, my faith, all of it. Now that that’s my path, I can’t imagine anything else. I know that I’ve never wanted anything like this is my life. I wanted my degrees, I wanted law school, and I wanted to help people. But this—I’ve never felt this…this burning desire before. It’s so overwhelming, all-consuming even.” I realize I’ve been talking with my hands as if they could communicate more than my actual words when they freeze in the air at the end of my rambling confession. I’m suddenly very embarrassed. I feel my face warm, and I drop my gaze. I feel his fingertips under my chin, and he pulls my gaze back up to his.

“Don’t ever be ashamed of your enthusiasm,” he whispers. “I love it. It makes my heart smile.”

That’s so sweet. “Thank you for saying that. I just felt a little self-conscious, gushing like that.”

“I like you gushing. And typically I like you blushing, but not over something that you should be proud about. So, what school are you applying to?”

“NYU. They have one of the best programs, and they have generous scholarships for financially strapped, but completely dedicated, students like myself. Well, rededicated students. I’ll be able to focus if you’re not so far away from me. Anyways, I used to dream of running away to New York when I was a little girl.”

“I remember. People always used to wonder how a little girl from Mississippi became a Yankees fan. You used to be so funny defending them to all those Braves fans,” he remembers on a laugh. “I think me, you, and New York City would be awesome. I bet they even have yoga, and I’ve been dying to try it! And I have some friends living there. Been there about a year or so. I’ll get with them about some prospects and start figuring out what I’ll do there. I wanna continue with school, but I’m good with going part time and working full time until we get things situated. I’ve been thinking about what kind of degree I want. I have to say I’m kinda leaning towards music or art education. Would you mind being saddled with a poor, humble teacher?”

“I think that would be perfect for you, for us; but only if I can call you Professor Bang.” He throws his head back in laughter.

“You can call me whatever your little heart desires, babe.”

We spend the rest of dinner talking about all of the things we will see and do in New York. All of the typical touristy stuff until we have enough connections there to figure out what real New Yorkers do.

………………………………………………………

“How did you know about this place?” I ask him.

“Mmm…I have my ways,” he teases me.
Mmm…he certainly does.
I told him I wanted to go and play pool, which he said would be fun, but he had another idea. I’m very happy that I didn’t argue my plan. This was much better.

“I’ve always loved it here. I usually bring a blanket out when it’s nice and study on the far side of the lake where it’s quiet. I never dreamed of experiencing it with you at night like this. It’s breathtaking.”

We fall into a companionable silence as Michael takes my hand and we make our way around the lake. They are little trails darting in and out of the trees and shrubs. These little trails are spectacularly lit up. I’ve taken my heels off and hold them in one hand while Michael holds my other. Every time that I come to a log, I feel the need to turn it in to my own personal balance beam. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt this buoyant in my whole life. I keep looking at Michael, expecting him to evaporate before my very eyes. We only have a few days together, and that’s the only thing keeping my feet on the ground right now. Otherwise, I’m pretty sure that I’d just float off into the great unknown.

I move to step off the log and suddenly Michael spins me around like we are dancing and pulls me in until I stumble into his chest.
So much for feeling graceful and weightless, I think.
“Hi,” I whisper as I realize I’m only several centimeters from his face. I’m looking down at him slightly, and his look is serious as he forces me to drop my shoes, places my hands on his chest, and moves his hands into my hair, unclipping it. I close my eyes and tilt my head back as I revel in the feel of his hands gliding through my hair. He leans in and buries his nose in my hair. I feel and hear him breath deeply. My entire body quakes.

His hands run down my neck and back until they come to a rest on my hips. “Mmm…You have no idea how alluring you are, do you? My God, you are the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. That’s what I thought the very first time I saw you. That’s what I thought when I was fighting with you outside the restaurant. That’s what I thought the first moment I saw you sitting at Mona’s. It’s as if I will never get used to how beautiful you are, inside and out. Just pure beauty.”

His words cause something in me to splinter off and break free. I almost weep at his sincerity. What did I ever do to deserve this level of adoration? I don’t get it; I just hope that I can live up to it.

We make our way around the lake, making small talk and enjoying each other. We reach the gazebo that juts out over the lake; it looks like something out of a fairy tale. It’s completely lit up as well and is reflected in the lake, doubling the splendid luminosity.

Michael takes my shoes from me and kneels down before me to help me with them. I put my hands on his shoulders and swallow the lump in my throat as he looks up at me with what can only be described as the most beautiful gleam in the world. I only smile a little because it somehow breaks my heart at the same time.

“Lorraina, the night I proposed to you was one of the best nights of my life. Later, I thought about it and felt like I didn’t do it justice, though.”

I give him a worried frown and assure, “Your proposal was perfect. I wouldn’t trade it for all the flowery language in
Othello
.”

He snickers a little. “Well, it wasn’t that it was bad per say. We were both reduced to blubbering idiots, and I never want you to question my hasty proposal or your yes because I’ve dreamt of being your husband my whole life. And I’ve never wanted anything more. And,” he pauses, “I didn’t have this.” He pulls out a little box, which takes my breath away before he even opens it. My hands fly up to cover my open mouth. I figured with his current starving student status I would get a wedding band one day but not an engagement ring.

“Lorraina, you’ve made me the happiest person on earth these past few months. You’re the best friend I’ve ever had. I’ve never imagined any moment more than this one. Except maybe the one where you walk down the aisle towards me and make me yours. Or the first time we make love. Or the moment when we have our own place together, and I make it beautiful so that every day when you wake up you smile at the ridiculous amount of happiness you feel just by walking around our little place cuz baby it will be little but we
will
be happy. Or maybe the one when we have our first child. A girl we call Rose who is as stunning as you inside and out and who has my tenacity for life. Or maybe when we have our little boy who we call Wyatt cuz that’s the name of a little boy who is well loved yet dances with trouble just like his old man. I’ve imagined all these moments and then some; but they all begin with this one, which is why it is my favorite.” He takes a deep, steadying breath while all I can do is stare at him adoringly. “Lorraina Marion, will you marry me? Will you be my love, my life for all eternity?” He cracks the little box open, and I see a little pearl waiting for me and my answer. I can’t make out much more than that because tears have almost completely distorted my vision.

I drop to my knees and frame his face with my hands while I just stare at him and take him all in. I want to remember this perfect moment for the rest of my life, every little detail. The woodsy smell of him, the warm temperature, the little duck noises, the soft wind stirring my hair. The fact that I’m barefoot and looking at the most incredible man I’ve ever known and ever will know.

“I don’t think I could ever doubt your intentions towards me, Michael, seeing as this is your third proposal.” I watch his eyes brighten as he remembers our first conversation during which he told me that he was my future husband. I grin at him and answer, “I know I rebuffed your first proposal, or perhaps it was more of a declaration, but this will be my second yes, so never doubt it.” I take a deep breath and confirm, “Yes, Michael Leon, I will marry you; and we will have the most amazing, most loving life together. I love you. So much.”

We kiss forever as my tears spill over both of us. His wish for a blubber free proposal effectively ruined once again.

………………………………....................................

I stare at myself and will myself to move away from the mirror and into the room. Michael has no idea that I plan to seduce him tonight, and I’m suddenly a little nauseous. What if he turns me down? I don’t know if I could take it. I need him so much. Now more than ever. I let my eyes trail down my nightgown. I tried to pick something sexy, but those outfits weren’t me. I settled on an ivory gown that has soft, muted ribbons of color and lace around the neckline. The front is quite demur. When I turn around, though, that’s a different story. I spin and take in the sight again. I’ve never worn anything this beautiful in all my life. I reach to tie the gown at the top with the thin ribbon and glimpse my pearl next to the fabric. The color is almost identical. I smile and let my gaze run over the open tear shape that leaves my back bare and rests just slightly above my bottom. I bite my lip and think here goes nothing.

I force myself to exit the bathroom, and my eyes search the room for Michael immediately. He’s leaning over the TV wearing nothing but my favorite dark gray pajama bottoms. “I almost got it,” he says, putting a movie in. “There we go. You ready—” His words stop abruptly as he turns and looks at me in my gown. OK. Maybe it’s not that demur. I bite my bottom lip again, which is becoming an almost constant reaction with him around. I try to release it and end up running my tongue over it before biting it again. “If you had any idea what I want to with that lip right now…” He leaves the threat/promise hanging in the air between us. It bolsters my courage.

I walk over to him and put my hands on his chest. “I know you want to wait, but Michael it just feels right. I need you so badly, and I know you need me too. Please don’t say no to me, to us. I feel like we’ve waited long enough to be together, don’t you?” I wait with bated breath.