Everyday Paleo (6 page)

Praise your kids for their efforts and make a big deal about how great it tastes because they helped! Remember that attention thing? Giving your kids positive attention and recognition for their efforts in the kitchen is like giving the little ones a magical “I will eat anything you want me to” pill! Another tip is to let your child name the dish you created together, or you can give the dish a name you know your kids will flip over. My kids love Sonic characters, and there is nothing better than Sonic Powered Soup. Of course having the kids help with every meal is not possible, but even getting them involved in some way can be helpful in egging on the excitement at mealtime.

Other suggestions for making mealtime fun include having your kids make placemats that they are responsible for putting on the table before you eat and having them pick out new lunch boxes and special containers to pack paleo lunches in. I have several blog posts talking about certain lunch boxes that are environmentally friendly and fun. Show your kids pictures in this book and on the computer of paleo meals, and let them pick out a meal or two that they want you to make during the week. When they do not like something, just say, “OK,” and let them eat more of whatever else is on the menu. You’ll find yourself less upset about little Johnnie only eating steak and sweet potatoes but no Brussels sprouts than little Johnnie only eating toast and butter and nothing else at all. If you only have good choices and your kid picks one or two of those good choices, so be it. Look back over your child’s week of eating rather than each meal, and you’ll be surprised how “balanced” they actually eat when their only options are paleo options.

If your kids are old enough to understand, and most kids
are
old enough to understand, if they ask why you no longer have their favorite non-paleo foods, be honest. Let them know that you are making better food choices for the entire family because you want to do all you can to ensure that your kids are healthy and not faced with scary illnesses later on in life, or even in their upcoming teenage years. More and more children are either obese or have other frightening health problems before they are old enough to drive a car. Something is very wrong with the foods that we are feeding our children, and realizing that we have the power to keep our children safe from the scary statistics should be exciting and relieving. You are in control of the foods that enter your home, and you have the power to let your kids know that you want them to eat the kinds of foods that our bodies are supposed to have.

With that being said, I also firmly believe that you should not use scare tactics to get your kids to eat paleo. Talk honestly and openly about eating healthy foods, but do not threaten your kids with certain death or tell them that they might get fat if they eat less than perfect paleo foods. Eating healthy and controlling what you let into your home does not lead to emotional issues with food. What leads to emotional issues are life circumstances, abuse, and parents modeling unhealthy relationships with food.

Personally, I firmly believe that you should let your kids make their own food choices when faced with social settings such as parties and visiting friends’ houses. When your children visit someone else’s home, unless they have a life-threatening or severe food allergy, let them eat what they want to. Soon you will see your children naturally making better food choices, even when unhealthy options are available. Why? Because they will notice that they feel better when eating paleo.

My oldest is very sensitive to dairy and grains, and although he will still sometimes choose to eat non-paleo foods when he is away from home, he always comes home to tell me he regretted his decision because inevitably the rest of his day is spent in the bathroom. Currently, he plans on opening a paleo restaurant, and his little brother is begging to be his assistant. I do not doubt it will happen—kids are smarter than we will ever be, and if we are honest, caring, and compassionate, as well as firm and patient, our kids will figure out just as we have that eating paleo and feeling good is the best choice for their little bodies.

Paleo Babies and Toddlers

I often have people ask me about feeding babies and toddlers. How do we get the little ones to eat a balanced paleo meal? The truth is, feeding babies and toddlers is kind of like trying to pin down and feed wild monkeys. Let’s first look at babies. If you are exclusively breast-feeding an infant, you are already giving the little one the most important nutrients that he needs. Introducing solid foods to a breast-fed baby should happen when the baby is old enough to sit up on his own and begins to show an interest in food. At this point, eating solids is more about the experience than about eating a well-balanced meal. Remember, your little one is still getting everything he needs from you. The solid food is an introduction to what will sustain him after he is weaned. Sometimes situations arise in which breast-feeding is impossible, but nevertheless, the same rules apply. Introduce solids when baby shows signs that he or she is ready, and rest assured that you are doing the very best that you can for your baby.

Babies do not need rice or barley cereal to thrive. Start your little one with paleo foods that can be easily mashed: yams, bananas, all veggies that can be cooked soft enough, and, my personal favorite, avocado, which seems to have been designed for babies to eat. The best plan is to introduce a variety of veggies, fruits, and proteins when your child appears to be interested, but do not worry about “balanced” meals until your child is no longer relying on breast milk or formula for the majority of his nutritional needs. Remember to avoid introducing eggs, seafood, and nuts until after your little one is twelve months of age in order to avoid introducing possible allergens.

Once babies reach toddlerhood, they will rely mainly on solid foods for their source of fuel. Feed them everything that you feed yourself, but realize that they might have other ideas as far as how much and when they should be eating. I believe in the importance of a family sitting together at the table to eat, but your toddler might be ready for dinner at 4 PM rather than 6:30, and that’s OK too. Often toddlers will eat sporadically, and sometimes only choose one thing on his plate. Sometimes a day of eating for the average twelve- to fourteen-month-old will look like this:

Breakfast:
Scrambled eggs

Morning Snack:
Coconut milk smoothie

Lunch:
Turkey chunks and pears

Afternoon Snack:
Lots of steamed broccoli and avocado dip

Dinner:
Salmon and a fistful of yams

Bedtime Snack:
Carrots and almond butter.

If you look back over the entire day of snacks and meals, what’s listed is a pretty balanced day of eating. Even though the little one did not have all three macronutrients at every meal, the toddler is still getting what he or she needs, so relax a little. You’re offering healthy foods, and at some point your little bugger will get bigger and begin to behave more human and less like a monkey.

Paleo in School

Having a good handle on feeding your little ones at home is a huge accomplishment, but what about the school lunch dilemma? Making a turkey sandwich and throwing in a bag of chips is so easy, but remember, we decided earlier on that a little hard work goes a long way, so again, being prepared is essential to overcoming the school lunch dilemma. Thinking differently about meals is of upmost importance in paleo success. What we assume a child’s lunch should look like (sandwiches, burgers, or hot dogs, chips, cookies, and juice) is just that, an assumption. I suggest thinking outside the lunch box and getting a bit more creative and, in time, you’ll find that making a paleo school lunch is not as hard or time consuming as you might think.

My seven-year-old has two common requests for his lunch, the first one being chicken salad, grapes, and cashews, and the second being turkey wraps. The turkey wraps are pieces of turkey that I wrap around thinly sliced carrots or a small handful of shredded cabbage or broccoli slaw. These school lunches are just as fast and easy as a sandwich, and if you add in nuts, dried fruit, or sliced apples, you have a perfect paleo, kid-friendly lunch in minutes. Some schools have a no-nut policy, and in this case, shredded coconut flakes or coconut milk smoothies are good fat alternatives, as are avocado slices and guacamole. Also, please remember, if your child does not have every macronutrient at lunch, they will be OK. Look back over your child’s day of eating rather than fretting over every meal. To make things a bit easier in the school lunch department, after the thirty-day family meal plan, I offer two weeks’ worth of school lunch ideas.

My oldest son, who is in high school, will often pack leftovers in a Tupperware for his lunch, just like his dad, and they will pack their food together in the morning, which is a great routine and brings them together for some conversation and early morning camaraderie. Looking at lunch differently is the first step to overcoming the school lunch dilemma, as well as educating your child about the foods that they are avoiding by eating a homemade paleo lunch.

Congratulations, you did it—you and the kids are getting healthier and it looks like smooth sailing. But what about the significant other?

The Paleo Relationship

Sometimes when one person in a relationship makes a radical change, that person’s partner is either totally on board or incredibly resistant. If your partner is incredibly resistant, the issues probably run deeper than what’s for dinner. The least that anyone should ask for in any type of relationship is support and acceptance. Furthermore, if
you
nag, complain, whine, yell, and scream at your noncompliant mate, I can guarantee that your lifelong love will never even attempt to eat paleo with you. On the other hand, if you focus on taking care of your own needs while being totally sweet and loving to your noncompliant significant other, I guarantee at some point your partner will show some interest in what you are doing.

As you continue to focus on your health, first you are going to feel better, and then you are going to look better, and next you are going to have a whole new lease on life. As you change any negative behavior patterns associated with health, fitness, and food, you are bound to change negative behavior patterns in other areas of your life as well. In fact, you have to make these changes in order to be successful on the road to health. If you give into negativity in your relationships at home, work, and with friends, it’s sure to be a slippery slope back to a negative relationship with your own health.

With children, often the best way to convince them to do as you wish is to lead by example, and I suggest you do the same with a significant other who is not on board with your new path to health. Trying to force change on your significant other is like beating your head against a wall. When you are amazing, people start to notice—when you nag, you will only be met with resistance.

Another suggestion for dealing with a noncompliant mate is to empower them with the opportunity to take care of their own needs as you take care of yours. How can someone argue with you if you do not put up a fight? If your partner does not like what you are making in the kitchen, calmly suggest that they make their own portion of the meal that they believe is missing. Make it a partnership rather than a battlefield.

If you do not have the support of your life partner when you make a choice that is best for your longevity and wellness, please realize that you can only change your own behavior and feelings about the situation. You have no control over changing your significant other. Realizing this can be incredibly empowering and powerful in a relationship. By focusing more on changing who you are rather than changing those around you, you will have a greater impact on others than you realize. After all, people notice when you stop noticing, and this is often the best way to garner the interest of those resistant to change. When you give your significant other a chance to make the decision to change on his or her own, you often see great results.

If you are in a relationship in which your partner
is
on board, now is the time to have fun together. Besides eating paleo together, I also suggest exercising together. Even if schedules are conflicting during the week, the entire family, kids included, can come together to exercise, meal plan, and cook on the weekends. When you start to make healthy living your priority, it becomes a lifestyle rather than a chore and, before you know it, you will be planning weekend trips to farmers markets followed by family outings in the park.

Accomplishing health and wellness as a family is very gratifying and will bring your family closer together. The positive energy that comes from teamwork will help keep everyone on track and eager to explore a new and better way of living. To help you down this road, we’ll look at working out as a family in the fitness section later in the book.

Sleep, Stress,
and How to Not Be a Mess

W
e women, especially moms, tend to take care of everyone except for one very important person—ourselves! The feminist movement did wonderful things for women’s rights, and thank goodness for what we women are able to freely accomplish!

Women are amazing, powerful, beautiful creatures. As women continue to fight, we continue to succeed. But we also continue to burn the hell out of ourselves until nothing is left but a shriveled up heap at the end of the day—too tired to laugh, too tired to love, too tired to eat healthy and exercise.

I firmly believe that the time has come for another women’s movement, because the sad, cold truth is that we cannot do it all, nor are we intended to. Women and men alike are not naturally programmed to work their tails off all day, only to wake up and do it all over again. We are genetically programmed to work hard, sleep a lot, eat good food, and relax with those that we love. We are programmed to nurture ourselves with positive influences such as nature, good conversation, and satisfying sex. Instead, we often tend to prioritize our lives with everything and everyone on the top of our list besides ourselves, and this leaves us with little energy to truly and honestly give of ourselves.

If we begin to pay attention to our own needs, we will feel fulfilled enough to truly enjoy giving of ourselves to others. We will be more productive at work, nicer to our children, and more satisfied with our love lives. Instead of these items feeling like chores that have to be completed, they will begin to feel like what makes our life worth living. If our glass is constantly running dry, how can we fill up the lives of those around us without feeling bitter, used up, and unappreciated? Along with eating paleo, I suggest that you begin to reprioritize your life, starting with getting enough sleep.

Sleep

What is enough sleep? Most folks need to sleep eight to nine hours every single night, and your sleep should be quality sleep, not simply time spent in bed. Lack of sleep is scientifically proven to cause or contribute to all major and minor health problems, and although it might feel as if there is not enough time in the day, forgoing sleep to tackle what has to be done is counterproductive to success. When you are no longer sleep deprived, your mental clarity and energy will make up for what appeared to be “lost time.”

Before you begin reprioritizing, the first question you should ask yourself is why? Why are you burning your candle at both ends? What is the importance of working yourself into a frazzled mess? Are you happy with your lifestyle? Are you feeling cared for and nurtured as much as you feel like you are caring for and nurturing the rest of the world?

If you are in tears by now because you know I am talking to you, I suggest it’s time to make a few changes. Start out small. Start by simply putting down whatever you are working on and going to bed. If falling asleep is an issue, think back on your day. What did you eat? Did you exercise? How much caffeine did you drink? Most people do not sleep well at night because of poor nutrition, too much caffeine, and lack of exercise. The truth is, if you are eating a paleo diet and exercising, you will begin to find it much easier to drift into a blissful slumber at night.

Most people feel as if they can “get by” on a minimal amount of sleep, but the truth is, we can actually go longer without food than we can go without sleep. If that did not ring loud and clear in your sleep deprived head, I’ll say it louder. You can go a month without eating and survive—if you do not sleep for a week, you’ll be
dead
!

Think about all your sleep-deprived nights, add those lost hours of sleep together, and please feel afraid enough to take this section seriously. Studies show that especially for women, lack of sleep contributes to illness and mental imbalance. This is not a great combination, especially when dealing with itty-bitty kids, careers, dogs, laundry, dishes, grocery shopping, exercising, living, laughing, and love making. If you are trying to maintain a paleo lifestyle and yet you ignore your need for sleep, the hormones that regulate appetite control are severely affected. As a result, things like sugar and caffeine cravings become more difficult to curb, making your judgment and decision making hazy, which is just another roadblock to keeping yourself on track.

Lack of sleep also contributes to depression, mood disorders, and anxiety. Well, duh! If you are unable to concentrate, keep falling asleep in your afternoon cup of coffee, find it hard to keep up with life, and fall off the paleo wagon over and over again because you feel as if you need that afternoon sugar pick-me-up, depression pretty much seems like a guarantee! Wouldn’t you rather tackle your daily list well rested in the morning, feel satisfied at the end of your day with what you
have
accomplished, crawl into bed at night with still enough energy left to tangle under the sheets with your honey, and know that the pile of bills or unwashed dishes will still be there in the morning?

When I ignore my need for rest, my sanity and health suffer tremendously. As a result, those who rely on my well-being suffer right along with me. It took me too many years of learning the hard way, but now I get it. Many a night I have flopped into bed wishing I could do more, but now I know that doing more means nothing when I am a burnt-out, frazzled mess.

Another contributing factor to lack of sleep is letting light into your room. Sleeping in a darkened room helps your body to produce melatonin, and if there is any light source intruding into your cave at night, whether natural or artificial, it can mess with your ability to make melatonin. As a result, it is more difficult for you to fall asleep, stay asleep, and get the restful sleep you need. Lack of sleep makes your body produce more of the stress hormone called cortisol, and increased levels of cortisol can do all sorts of unpleasant and frustrating things to your body, such as making it impossible to lose that last bit of belly fat, no matter how well you eat or how much exercise you do.

Do you need a bigger reason to run down to the nearest big box store and buy some black out shades? OK, I’ll give you one. New research is also indicating that lack of sleep can increase the chance of women developing cancer. So please, black out those windows, cover up your alarm clock with a towel, chuck the night-light, and crawl into bed.

For those of you with kids sleeping down the hall that might need mommy or daddy in the night, keep a flashlight on your nightstand so that you don’t fall over the heap of laundry in the middle of your bedroom floor. There is no reason to keep the lights burning at night, and your kids will also sleep better in a darkened room, too. If they want a nightlight to go to sleep, simply unplug it once they are snoring.

The moral of the story is that we all need adequate sleep at night, even when we feel as if we cannot go to bed without finishing that one last project. The truth is, you better go to bed because in no uncertain terms, lack of sleep in one way or another will most certainly kill you, and in that case you will no longer have to worry about those unfinished projects. The folks who live by the mantra “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” are actually on a faster road to that goal than they would probably like to admit. For more information on the importance of sleep, I suggest you pick up and read a copy of
Lights Out: Sleep, Sugar, and Survival
by T. S. Wiley.

Stress

Now what about stress? I am not asking you to eliminate stress from your life because that is simply an impossible request. Life
is
stress, good and bad. Stress is what motivates us into action, and without stress we would shrivel up and die. But guess what—just like everything else health related it seems, with too much of it we shrivel up and die; and fast.

Too much or unmanaged stress, like lack of sleep, is medically proven to do all sorts of wonky stuff to your body. Unbelievable as it might seem, solving your lack of sleep might be all you need in order to bring your stress down to a normal level. If you are sleeping well, eating right, exercising, and still feeling like you want to kick the dog, burn the Dr. Suess books, and have your hubby’s name permanently embroidered on the couch as his final resting place, then maybe what’s left to change is your
attitude
! Yes, I’m calling you out on your own choice to be miserable.

This book is about eating paleo, but it’s also about adopting a lifestyle that is reminiscent of days past. Days when life was a tad simpler. Days when the bills got paid, the dishes got done, and you still had time to play with the kids. Why are things so different now?

We only have ourselves to blame, and like being able to make choices about what we eat, we can also make choices about how we feel and behave. Feelings don’t just happen to us, but rather are a state of mind we choose to be in. Situations happen to us and we can choose how we want to deal with them and feel about them. If you are dead-set on being pissed off about life, then you will be. If you are willing to be the one to always see the silver lining, you can be. I suggest that everyone try being that positive “ray of sunshine” person for a few days and simply see what happens.

I am in no way implying that life is a bed of roses, because believe me, I know that it’s not. But if you are willing to create your own bed of roses, if you are grateful for the positive things in your life, if you take five minutes a day to appreciate nature (I know I’m sounding really “out there,” but just listen!), you will start to see everything in a different light. For example, you can choose to let the dude that cut you off make you so angry that you punch your steering wheel and scream and yell as you feel your blood pressure rise and that weird vein in your neck pop out; or you can choose to smile and wave at him without a care in the world and save your adrenaline rush for the gym.

The Worry

Well, what about those what ifs and the maybes and the many I don’t knows? Trust me, I get it. I used to be the biggest worrier on planet Earth. I worried about my health, I worried about my kids’ health, I worried about not being able to pay the bills, I worried about the bump on my nose, I worried about not being able to see improvements every time I went to the gym, I worried until I worried myself sick, and then I realized that I have nothing to prove. I am who I am. I have my health, I work hard, and I have great kids. I have a lot of other crazy poop in my life that could make me crazy, but I have decided not to let this stuff take me down the flusher, and this allows me the freedom to cope. We can worry ourselves into a hole or we can do all we can to be healthy and take life one day at a time, knowing that everything else will simply be and we can handle what comes our way because we are healthy, positive, and prepared.

Please, take time to have more fun. When was the last time you were just totally silly? Next time you are rushing around the kitchen, trying to make dinner with crying, hungry, need-a-bath kids racing and fighting around you, instead of trying to fight off screaming, start singing and dancing along to the goofiest kids song that you know. Just belt it out at the top of your lungs. Shake your hips, wave your arms around, and before you know it, your kids will be falling over themselves, laughing and joining in. Dinner will get done, and you will feel alive. Stop taking yourself so seriously and you will start to enjoy yourself by just being you.

Often in life we lose track of what we enjoy because we are too busy simply making life work. Stop reading for a minute or two and sit with this thought. What do you love to do? Shopping online or watching Life & Style are not options. Maybe you need to think back five, ten, or fifteen years to a different time in your life. What used to make you excited to get out of bed in the morning? Whatever comes to mind first, make a date with
you
to do that thing. Maybe it’s hiking, knitting, getting lost in a novel, volunteering for your favorite charity, or acting in a play. Whatever that thing might be, try to recapture what used to motivate you. This is not a senseless or time-sucking endeavor. It’s a step back to what I was talking about earlier in this chapter, a step back to simpler times, back to when the days did not pass us by with little time left to live, laugh, and love.