“Babe, you don’t need to be embarrassed about it. It’s totally natural, and besides, we have been dating for a year and a half. Don’t you think it’s about time I see this side of you now?” he teased.
“No,” I groaned as I was hit with more sickness.
“Okay, I won’t come in, but I’m going to wait by the door until you come out.” He still sounded amused.
“No, babe, just go home. Obviously, there will be no double feature tonight. This will pass by tomorrow, I’m sure.”
“I could care less about the double feature right now. I’m more worried about you. I’m not going home while you’re like this.”
“Just...I’ll be out in a minute, then,” I conceded, hearing he was not going to give up.
“Okay. Take your time.” He let the door close.
A minute turned into twenty. Every time I thought I was done, I got hit with more pangs of pain in my stomach. I finally managed to come out of the bathroom to find Trevor sitting on the floor outside the bathroom door playing a game on his phone. He got up when he saw me and took one look at me and frowned.
“You don’t look so good.”
“I still don’t feel so good,” I said meekly.
He put his arm around my waist as if to support me and helped me back to my room, which, thank god, wasn’t that far from the bathroom because I visited it again off and on throughout the night and well through the morning. By the time the sun started peeking through the window, I had come to rest on the floor from the last bathroom run as it was closer to the door and I refused to let Trevor carry me over to the bed. Poor Trevor hadn’t gotten any sleep last night. As for watching over me, he tried giving me water and Gatorade he had gotten from Kelly, but when it proved that those wouldn’t help, he stopped trying. I had tried telling him that it was probably something from dinner and it just needed to pass through my system, but he was still worried. When I knew that Opal was awake, I managed to call her. She picked up on the fifth ring.
“Hello?”
“Aunt Opal?” I asked weakly.
“Chile?” she asked. “Wassa matter with you?”
“Are you okay? Are you sick too?” If Opal was as sick as me, she would need more help than Mr. Davis could give her.
“I’m fine, chile. It’s you that don’t sound too good.”
“How is Mr. Eugene? Is he sick too?”
“He’s fine too. Why you keep askin’ if we sick
too
? You sick?” Her voice started to rise.
“I just have an upset stomach, Auntie,” I downplayed the situation as another wave of pain hit my stomach. They had gotten less frequent since last night, but not less painful.
“Oh, well, I have somethin’ I can whip up for that,” she said idly.
“It’s okay, Auntie. I’m sure it will pass.” I could only imagine what she would whip up.
“Okay. If you change your mind, I’m the third house on the left on Baker Stree—”
“I know where you live, Auntie,” I cut her off. “Is Mr. Eugene there?”
“Yeah, why?”
“I’m just asking,” I breathed. “I’ll talk to you later, Auntie. I’m going to check on Aria.” I hung up intending to call Aria but instead had to make another bathroom run. When I came back, Trevor informed me that I had missed a call from Aria and that he also called out of work.
“Oh no, don’t do that. Go. I’ll be fine,” I pleaded.
“No.”
“I’m already sick. Don’t make me actually
feel
bad on top of that.”
“It’s already done. Besides, what good would I be at work constantly on the phone with you checking to make sure you’re okay and made it to the bathroom?” He smirked at the last part.
I shot him a look and took my phone from him and called Aria back, who picked up on the first ring.
“Oh my god, I feel like ass,” she moaned.
“So it’s just us?” I guessed.
“Aunt Opal and Mr. Davis aren’t sick?” She almost sounded like she wanted them to be.
“No, just us.”
“Ugh, I was afraid of that,” she groaned again.
“Aria, what did you do?” I asked skeptically.
“Okay, it’s going to sound bad, but it’s not as bad as it sounds, okay?” she started meekly. “Don’t be mad, I love you, okay? And you love me, remember that.”
“Aria...” I warned.
“Okay, okay. So I wanted to make the brownies extra chocolaty, and I found some bars of chocolate in the fridge at Opal’s, so I melted them in the batter. Only now I don’t think it was actual chocolate,” she finished in a small voice.
“What do you think it was then?” I had a bad feeling that I knew.
“Ex-Lax,” she said, barely above a whisper.
“
What?
”
“Dacey, don’t yell at me.” I could hear the tremble in her voice. She must have been close to tears.
“You put Ex-Lax in the brownies, Aria?” I asked in disbelief. That explained the stomach pains and the sickness.
“I thought it was chocolate!” she said defensively.
I breathed through my nose and counted to ten before responding.
“Okay, I can understand I guess if it didn’t have a wrapper on it. I don’t know why Opal would have that in her refrigerator, but okay.”
“It may have had the foil wrapper on it.”
“The foil wrapper with the
label
on the outside?” I seethed.
“Dacey, shut up. I thought it was chocolate, okay?” she cried.
“Tell that to my stomach—and the poor plumbing of my dorm bathroom,” I said petulantly.
“I ate more of the pan than you, remember? How do you think I feel?” she added in a loud moan for effect.
“Oh, knock it off, drama major. I get the point we are both in pain.”
“Well, you act as if I did it on purpose. I’m sorry,” she sniffled.
“It’s fine,” I breathed out. “I mean, it’s not fine, but what can we do about it?”
“Laugh?” she suggested.
“Ha-ha,” I deadpanned.
“Is Mom there with you?”
“Yeah, she heard me last night and was worried, stayed up most of the night trying to make sure I didn’t get dehydrated. It wasn’t until this morning that it dawned on me what I had done, that’s why I called. Mom told me to tell you to drink plenty of fluids, and she will come by to check on you.”
“Yeah, Trevor didn’t go to work today either, and tell Mom I will.”
“The porcelain king beckons me back to his throne, so off I go,” she said dramatically.
“Oh my god, you’re turning into such a theater geek.”
“I love it. I am sorry.”
“I know, A. It’s okay. Makes for a great story one day.” I hung up and made another bathroom run.
Needless to say, I didn’t attend any classes, and luckily, when Mom came to bring me some soup and more Gatorade, I wasn’t on another bathroom run.
“Dacey, honey, how you feeling?” She put her hand to my forehead as if I had a fever.
“I’m getting better. Less trips. I’m just so weak,” I said from bed, where I finally let Trevor take me.
“That’s to be expected, honey. You have nothing left in you. Trevor, please make sure she eats this soup.” She wrung her hands worriedly. “I wish you would just come home with me so I could look after both of you.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Trevor nodded.
“No, Mom, it’s just Ex-Lax overdose. I’ll be fine. It’s already leaving my system. I’m just weak,” I assured her.
“I know, but I don’t like when you girls have a runny nose, let alone this.” She spread her arms out in the air.
“I know, but I’m fine, and A will be fine, really.”
She kissed me bye and made me promise to eat and call her the moment I started feeling better. She wanted to stay longer, but Aria was home alone and in the same condition. After Mom left, I slowly sipped the soup, returning Tina’s tenth unanswered text message letting her know I was okay and why I had not been returning her texts. To which I received a picture message a few minutes later of a T-shirt that read, “ASK ME ABOUT MY EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA.”
Whore
, I replied back.
Don’t laugh 2 hard
R U done?
Yes it was 2 funny NOT 2 make fun of
No fun on my end
End? hahahah
Bye Tina
Love u
By the time three o’clock came around, I felt much better. I was still weak, but I wasn’t making bathroom runs anymore and the stomach pains were gone. I ate all the soup and had called Mom to tell her I was feeling better and found that Aria was too. I could only imagine what would have happened if we ate the entire pan of Ex-Lax-laced brownies. Trevor went home at five to shower and change but promised to return with something more than soup and Gatorade for me to eat. I was just getting up for a much-needed shower when I heard a knock on my door. I opened it to find Kelly from down the hall.
“You look loads better,” she said perkily.
“Thanks,” I replied, wondering what she was doing here.
“I got your homework for you from Professor Harris’s class.” She handed me an assignment sheet.
“You went to my class for me?” I asked, astounded.
“No, silly. I’m
in
your class,” she clarified.
“You are?” I took the paper from her and sat it on my desk. “I’ve never seen you.”
“Well, duh, you always come in late and then go straight to the back. Here, maybe now I look familiar,” she turned around so I could get a look at the back of her head. “What about now?” she asked seriously.
“Ahh no, sorry.”
“Well, I told the professor you had some nasty-ass stomach virus thingy, and he allowed me to bring you today’s assignment...So, you’re welcome.” Then she turned to leave.
“Oh, well, thanks, and I’m sorry. I don’t really focus on much when I go to class.”
“Hey, no worries. You know me now!” She waved cheerily and closed the door behind her, then popped it back open again. “I’m in 210, by the way.”
“Okay.” She closed the door again, and I looked over my creative writing assignment. I would have to make up work in the rest of my classes for my missed day. Pushing that to the back of my mind, I set about my original mission of taking a shower. I grabbed my shower caddy and headed to the communal shower stalls before Trevor got back with my food. I had just gotten back in my room when Trevor walked in, freshly showered and carrying two take-out bags from the fast-food place close to the college.
“Hey, babe. You feeling better?” He sat the stuff down on the desk.
“Yup, no more bathroom runs. Fresh and showered, just hungry and still a little weak.”
“Well, I got you potato bacon cheddar soup.”
I groaned.
“And french fries.” He winked.
“More soup?” I asked grumpily.
“Your mom made me get soup.” He laughed when I gave him a questioning look. “She called.”
“Dammit, Mom,” I mumbled.
“That’s why I added the fries. I know you.”
“I’ll just dip my fries in the soup.”
“Whatever gets you to eat, ’cause I promised her you would.” He handed me a small container and a spoon along with a small container of french fries.
I ate the food slowly. The soup wasn’t that bad with the fries, and I washed it down with a Coke he got me.
“Ahh,” I sighed, feeling sleepy. “Now I feel better.”
“I’m glad. I thought I was going to have to steal an IV bag from work and hook you up to it,” he joked.
“I wasn’t that bad-looking.”
“You were pretty pale-looking and weak. I’ve see that in animals, and we usually have to give them an IV drip because they get dehydrated. You had me a little worried,” he finished.
“Well, I’m okay now.” I went over and hugged him around the middle. “Thank you for taking care of me, even when I told you not to.”
“Where else would I have been?” He put his arms around me and leaned down to kiss my forehead.
I yawned loudly. “I don’t know why I’m so tired.”
“Maybe it’s all the running you did.” He stifled a laugh as I punched his side.
“Clever.”
“I am clever,” he smirked.
I yawned again. “Okay, time for bed, you.”
He walked me over to the bed and got in with me. We cuddled up into our normal spots. I was almost asleep when he said quietly, “You know, when Kelly told me you were sick, I thought you were pregnant.”
“What?” I asked, now awake a little more.
“She only said you were sick in the bathroom and wouldn’t come out.”
“So your mind immediately went to pregnancy?” I asked, appalled.
“Well, I know that we haven’t revisited this conversation since we started dating and we trust each other to not use protection, but...” he trailed off.
“I’m still on birth control.” I put him out of his misery.
He let out an audible sigh of relief. “I want a family someday, just not right now,” he explained.
“I’m still in college, and I already have a kid—her name is Opal Jean Watson,” I declared.
“This is true. I’m glad we agree.” Then he kissed my lips lightly and began to massage my scalp. Soon I was fast asleep.
* * *
I awoke the next day feeling well rested and fully back to myself. I leaned over and kissed Trevor awake.
He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close to him.
“Someone is feeling better.” He smiled into my lips.
“I am.” I kissed down his chin and made my way to his chest. “And I owe you a double feature.” I kissed my way farther down to his belly button as his breathing labored. “Or at least a half a feature.” I kissed around the waistline of his pajama bottoms and pulled on them.
“I’ll settle for a half a feature,” he let out in a groan, winding his fingers in my hair.
Twenty minutes later, I was pulling on my socks and shoes, and Trevor was still lying in bed.
“Are you planning on moving?” I smirked.
“Can’t...move,” he sighed. “Who knew that all I had to do was poison you with Ex-Lax and take care of you for you to give me the best half a feature ever,” he wisecracked.
“I see the wheels turning. Don’t even think about it,” I warned.
“I would never.” He smiled with a hand across his heart, making the Boy Scouts honor gesture.
“Let’s hope not. I don’t think my mom or Aria would forgive you if they knew you did that on purpose.” And Tina would castrate you, I thought to myself.