Everything but the marriage (11 page)

"I was thinking that some flowers along the drive right in front of the house would look nice," she said, glancing at Devlin uncertainly. She didn't want him to think she was pushing her way in where she didn't belong.

Devlin finished pulling the truck into a parking space before looking at her. He nodded. "That sounds nice. What have you got in mind?"

"I don't now for sure. I thought maybe, if you didn't mind, we could stop at a nursery. I noticed one on the way into town. We could take a look at what they've got."

"Sounds good." He glanced at his watch. "Will two hours give you enough time to get whatever you need?"

"I can buy a pair of jeans in less than two hours."

"Well, maybe you'll think of something else you need. There's a bookstore half a block down on the right. I've got an order to pick up there. Why don't we meet there in two hours?"

"Okay." Annalise climbed out of the truck, slamming the heavy door shut before moving aroimd to the front of the vehicle. Devlin paused on the sidewalk, glancing at the list he'd just pulled out of his shirt pocket.

Standing there, wearing jeans and a soft gray cotton shirt with the sleeves rolled up over his forearms, he looked wonderfully solid. Annahse caught the inside of her lower lip between her teeth, holding back the urge to suggest that she could tag along with him. She could carry buckets of paint or bags of cement-whatever he liked. Just as long as he didn't leave her alone.

But that was ridiculous. He wasn't abandoning her in the middle of New York City. Remembrance, Indiana, was a peaceful, not very large town where the greatest danger likely to befall her was getting a ticket for jaywalking.

"You'll be all right?" As if he could read the doubts chasing one another around her mind, Devlin looked up from his list to pin her with eyes that saw more than they should.

"Sure," she said, forcing a bright smile. "It looks like a great little town."

"It's pretty peaceful." Devlin glanced at the shops that lined the street. "You should be able to find just about anything you need. There's a clothing store right across the street."

"Don't worry about me. I'll be fine."

Wh«i he hesitated, she gave him another smile, hoping he couldn't read the stark terror she was feeling. She hadn't realized how much her sense of security had come to depend on his presence until she found herself about to be left alone in the middle of a strange town.

"You have enough money?" he asked abruptly.

"Yes. I already told you that the salary you're paying is too generous for what I'm doing. I have plenty of money."

"Good." He glanced at his watch again but made no move to leave. "Are you sure you'll be all right?"

It hit her suddenly that he had as many doubts about leaving her on her own as she did about being on her own. The knowledge stiffened her spine. Since when had she become so helpless that she couldn't buy a pair of jeans without a keeper?

Her fingers tightened on the strap of the cheap plastic purse, and her chin tilted up a fraction of an inch. Her smile lost some of its forced edge.

"I'll be fine," she told him again. "I'll meet you at the bookstore in two hours."

Lifting one hand in a casual wave, she turned and walked briskly off down the sidewalk. Devlin stayed where he was, watching her. She didn't look back, not even when she paused to check traffic before stepping into the crosswalk.

She looked very small and vulnerable. Maybe it was the way she was dressed. She was wearing a pair of jeans whose worn look had come from wear and not a designer's factory and one of his T-shirts, which was so large it made her look as if she were playing dress-up. Kelly's sneakers completed the outfit.

He forced himself to turn away, long strides carrying him in the opposite direction. Annahse was a grown woman. She didn't need him to play bodyguard. She'd pulled herself together to an amazing degree these past couple of weeks. He was sure a couple of hours alone wasn't going to do her any harm.

If only he could get it out of his head that she'd looked absolutely terrified just before she walked away.

"Actually, I really enjoyed myself." Annahse gave him a shy smile. "I don't know if you could tell, but I was scared to death there for a minute."

"It didn't show," Devlin told her without a second's hesitation. He didn't have to take his eyes off the road to see her smile. He could feel it.

"Good." She rubbed her fingers absently over the surface of her new purse, a scarlet canvas clutch. "I felt really stupid. It isn't as if I've never been shopping alone before. I guess it's just that these last two weeks, I've started putting myself back together again. I wasn't sure I was ready to go out into the real world, even for something as basic as shopping. But it felt really good."

"Did you get everything you needed?" He cast a doubtful look at the two sacks at her feet.

"I didn't need much." She was quiet for a moment, staring out at the fields that hned the road. *'You know, ru never be able to repay you for all you've done for me, Devlin. I don't now what I'd have done if you hadn't—"

"One more word and you walk the rest of the way," he interrupted.

"Okay." She slid him a quick glance and dared to add one more sentence. "I just want to thank you," she said hurriedly.

"You've already thanked me." Her gratitude made him uncomfortable. He didn't want Annalise feeling grateful to him. He wanted her... hell, face it, jerk, you just plain want her.

His hands tightened on the wheel, the knuckles showing white for a moment before he forced his fingers to relax. Over the past two weeks, he'd gotten more experience than he'd ever hoped to have in quelling lustful thoughts.

There was little conversation during the remainder of the drive home. Annalise was content to savor the feeling that she'd faced a challenge and triumphed. Devlin was wondering how many cold showers a man could take before doing permanent physical damage. Something had to give soon. He only hoped it wouldn't be his sanity.

He parked the truck next to the house. He had to unload the truck bed, but he decided to change his shoes first. When the frame was first going up, he'd once dropped an armload of two-by-fours on his foot. The results had convinced him that the best way to

move quantities of lumber was in a pair of sturdy boots.

Annalise preceded him into the house, going straight to the guest room to put away her purchases. She was snipping the tags from a crisp new pair of jeans when she heard Devlin call her name.

"Annalise? I think you should come look at this." There was a curious note in his voice, not exactly urgency but something more than a casual summons.

AnnaUse dropped the jeans onto the bed and left her room. Devlin was still talking, but he wasn't using any tone she'd ever heard from him. He was speaking too softly for her to make out words, but there was a low, soothing quality to his voice that was like stroking her hand over a warm blanket.

She followed the sound into his bedroom and saw him kneeling in front of the closet. She knew what was in the closet and who he was talking to even before she sank to her knees beside him.

Beauty lay on her side, smack in the center of the closet floor. She was lying on a dress shirt that had probably slipped off the hanger. It was a sure bet it was never going to be the same, but no one seemed to mind. Nestled against Beauty's stomach were four kittens, three grey like their mother and one a startling snowy white. All four were busily nursing with a concentration contrary to their size and helplessness.

Annalise felt tears come to her eyes, and her mouth curved upward in a foolish smile.

*'Look," she said in a hushed voice, as if Devlin might not have seen his closet's new occupants. "She had her litter."

"It's about time. If she'd gotten any bigger, she would have popped like a balloon." Devlin's gruff words were at odds with the gentle finger he ran over Beauty's head. "What a good girl you are," he told the new mother. "Look at your beautiful babies."

Beauty regarded them with a look that could only be described as smug. She knew her kittens were beautiful, but she was pleased that these big, clumsy creatures were capable of seeing the obvious.

"They're so perfect," Annalise whispered, reaching out to stroke her fingertip over one tiny back. The kitten ignored her, intent on finishing her meal.

"Of course they're perfect. Look what a perfect mom they've got." Beauty allowed Devlin to rub behind her ear, accepting his praise as her due.

If Annalise had had her doubts about whether or not Devlin minded that he'd acquired a houseguest and a pet in the same twenty-four-hour period, she was reassured now. He'd fed Beauty and never offered any objection to her presence, either by word or look, but he'd also never paid much attention to the cat. She'd thought that perhaps he was one of those people who were not entirely at ease with animals.

But he was perfectly comfortable with Beauty now, talking to her in that soft voice, making it clear that her efforts were not unappreciated.

Looking at the tiny kittens, Annalise felt fresh tears sting her eyes. Four new lives. It wouldn't be long before they'd be venturing out of their home in the closet and getting ujiderfoot, making complete nuisances of themselves.

Life was a constant cycle of renewal. No matter what happened, there was always a new cycle beginning somewhere. It was a thought at once humbling and reassuring.

His attention drawn by her silence, Devlin turned his head to look at her. Their eyes met, his more open than usual with the simple pleasure he took in the new family, hers more green than blue with emotion.

He stared at her, caught by the hidden depths in her eyes. What was it about her eyes that always hinted at mysteries he'd never quite understand?

A strand of hair had fallen loose from the clip with which she'd drawn the heavy length back and lay against her cheek. He reached up to put it in place. Only somehow, his fingers were loosening the clasp. It hit the floor with a sharp click. It could have exploded like dynamite and neither of th«n would have noticed.

Annalise's hair spilled over his fingers like living silk. Without taking his eyes from hers, he drew a handful of it forward so that it fell across her breast, a pale contrast to the navy T-shirt she wore.

Her eyes widened and he could hear an odd little catch to her breathmg, but she didn't move back, didn't utter a word of protest as his hand closed over the sensitive nape of her neck.

His eyes locked on hers, Devlin drew her forward. Only in the last heartbeat before their lips met did her gaze flicker, her lashes coming down to shield her eyes from his.

But then his mouth was on hers, and he didn't have to read her reaction in her eyes. He could taste it in the

way her lips softened beneath his, hear it in the barely audible sigh that escaped her.

Devlin had been fantasizing for almost two weeks about what kissing her would be like. But no fantasy could b^in to compare with the reality. And the reality was that she was a taste of heaven on earth. And no fantasy could have prepared him for the explosion a simple kiss touched off between them.

His mouth firmed, his head tilting to deepen the kiss. Her hps opened to him, an invitation he didn't try to resist. Her tongue came up to meet his, her response as quick and hard as his own.

Still on his knees, he drew her closer, wanting to feel her with every pore of his being. Annalise's hands settled on his shoulders, hesitating uncertainly for a moment before her fingers crept into the thick darkness of his hair. She molded her fingers to the back of his skull, the simple touch fanning the flames of his need even higher.

Devlin left one hand buried in the irresistible silk of her hair. The other traveled down her back, tracing her spine through the thin knit of the T-shirt before coming to rest on her backside.

She complied easily when he pressed her closer, shifting his knees apart so that the cradle of her femininity pressed against the rock-hard proof of his desire.

His mouth caught the small gasp that escaped her as she felt the strength of his need. Devlin's mouth was avid on hers. All the hunger he'd been suppressing was battering at the doors of his control.

He wanted to press her back onto the floor and strip away the frustrating layers of clothing between them. He wanted to feel her thighs cradling him, feel her body accepting him in the most intimate of embraces.

He wanted to hear her cry out his name in her pleasure, to see her writhing beneath him, her body burning with the same need he felt.

The very strength of that need—the realization that he was within a miUisecond of losing control—brought Devlin to his senses. He felt as if he were teetering on the brink of a huge chasm. On the other side lay as near to paradise as it was possible to find in the mortal world. But to get there, he had to risk giving up the control that had kept him sane through all the dark hours in his life.

That rigid refusal to give even a fraction of himself over into someone else's power had enabled him to survive his childhood and eight years in prison. And he couldn't possibly make love to Annalise and retain that control. He wanted her too badly.

Hammering down the screaming need in his gut, Devlin ended the kiss. His hands moved to grip her shoulders, drawing her away even though it felt as if he were pulling off a layer of his own skin.

Their eyes met, hers reflecting a startled wonder that made him ache to pull her back into his arms. But he wasn't going to do that.

For a moment, Annalise saw her own wonder reflected in Devlin's eyes and knew that the kiss had been as much of a revelation to him as it had been to

her. Then the shutters came down, shutting her out, closing him inside.

"Annalise, I~"

She interrupted quickly. "Well, that was certainly a surprise.*' She scrambled to her feet as she spoke, quickly putting a little distance between them.

"A surprise," Devlin repeated. He stood more slowly, his feet slightly apart as if he were bracing for a fight. She forced herself to ignore the solid bulge at his fly that made it clear that he might have shut her out but his body hadn't quite gotten the message yet.