Everything is Everything Book 2 (30 page)

“Do you go into Winton Terrace or Findlater Gardens anymore?” Vanessa asked. She had been thinking about traveling up to Garden Hilltop just to reconnect with her past and her mother.

Since becoming a mother, Vanessa found herself thinking about her own mother often. There was a new connection that she had never expected to feel with her. It was a sense of guilt that she had taken so long to gain a higher understanding of her mother’s life.

Now she had ‘walked’ in her mother’s footsteps and the journey had been far from pleasant.

Beady was shaking her head. She’d dyed her hair auburn red and it was still short. Other than that she didn’t look much different than she had two years ago.

“Winton Terrace has nothing but bad memories for me,” Beady stated.

The guys and Erica were watching sports, Miss Gloria was dozing in her armchair and G and his family had left. Ginger was playing with Crash and was now putting several hats onto the boy’s head while he played peek-a-boo with her.

“You lived in Garden Hilltop,” Beady said. “That was much better living than at the bottom of the hill.” Beady remembered that when she lived with her mother she was always hungry, cold or hot. There was never enough of anything to go around.

“Donald Miller lived up there with me.” Vanessa said. “He pretty much terrorized the Hilltop while Tino terrorized the bottom of the hill.”

Beady smiled. “Tino wasn’t as bad as he seemed.”

Vanessa gave her a doubtful look. It was easy for her to think that because she had grown up with him. “He used to beat Scotty. He still has the scars on his face from the beatings.”

Vanessa remembered the time she had gotten jumped by a gang of girls. It had happened after Scotty had missed several days of school and when he came outside to help her she saw that he was covered in bruises. Later he had confessed that Tino had beaten him up.

Funny thing is that Tino was there with him, making the girls leave her alone. They were as afraid of him as she was.

But he had helped her. And it wasn’t the first time.

Vanessa nibbled a cookie. The two girls were sitting at the dining room table where they could look into the living room but still have a bit of quiet.

Beady touched her hand. “We never talked much about what Donald did that night. How are you handling it? Do you still get nightmares?”

Vanessa’s breath felt tight in her chest. “How did you know that I have nightmares?”

Sometimes in her dreams Donald was on top of her and Scotty hadn’t come in time. Sometimes he beat her to death. Sometimes he chased her. It didn’t happen as much but enough to still make her uncomfortable.

Beady looked at her. “I don’t know how much Scotty told you, but I left home when I was kid because I had been molested.”

Vanessa looked at her in surprise. “I didn’t know. Scotty never talked about why you left. I’m so sorry, Beady.” Vanessa had assumed she’d left home due to neglect. Everyone knew that the Tremonts had nothing but what they got by illegal means—whether that was by stealing or selling drugs.

“I still dream about it, too.” Beady said. “Not all the time, just enough to remind me that I’ll never be allowed to forget it.”

Vanessa squeezed her hand. She didn’t think Beady knew about what had happened to her at the hands of Tino and she wondered if Tino had done the same to her. But if so why hadn’t they taken away all of the kids, or at least removed Tino from the home? He’d just grown up and left.

“Was … was it Tino?” Vanessa asked softly.

Beady looked at her in surprise. “Scotty asked the same thing. No. It was my biological father.”

Vanessa blinked. “Mr. Johnny?”

Beady nodded without looking at her.

“He was my aunt’s boyfriend …” Oh my God, Jalissa!

“He didn’t touch you, did he?!” She demanded.

“He didn’t touch me … but I knew something wasn’t right with him.” She left out the part that she’d seen his penis one night when she was a kid. He had snuck down to the kitchen one night when she and Jalissa were supposed to be sleeping on the pull-out couch. He was naked.

“What do you mean about something not being right?” Beady asked.

“It’s my cousin Jalissa. I think he might have done something to her.” She knew too much about sex, even before the age of ten. And Mr. Johnny had spent a great deal of time over there.

“God …” Vanessa whispered. Was that why Jalissa and Callista had such a volatile relationship? There were times when Jalissa seemed to hate her mother and would be intentionally disobedient. And at other times she seemed to seek her love—like when she had told Vanessa that she sided with her mother even though she knew she was wrong.

“Are you okay, Vanessa?” Beady asked.

She nodded. “I think I want to talk to my cousin.”

What if Jalissa had been living with something terrible like this all alone?

“Are you okay, babe?”

They were in the car driving back to Scotty’s place. They hadn’t discussed it, but both knew that Vanessa wouldn’t return to sleep another night at Charisma’s parent’s house.

“You’ve been quiet since we left.”

Vanessa placed a hand on Scotty’s knee.

“I’ve been thinking about Jalissa.” She shared her fears about Mr. Johnny.

Scotty’s expression darkened. “That bastard. He’s still destroying lives long after his death.”

“I want to try to find her. I don’t know if she’s still in Winton Terrace but can you ask around?”

“Yes, honey. I’ll do that.” He seemed suddenly in deep thought. “Did you mention to Beady about what Tino did to you?”

“No. I got the impression that she had no idea about it.”

“I never told her and I don’t think the others did either. She and Tino were close.”

“I think about him a lot, too.”

“What do you think about?” Scotty asked softly.

“I wonder if I had known him at a different time if he would have been a different person.”

Scotty didn’t speak.

“Didn’t you love him?” she asked.

“Vanessa … there is something I have to tell you. I never did because … because I was ashamed. But I won’t keep any secrets from you.”

“What is it, Scotty?” Vanessa was suddenly afraid.

Scotty took a moment to gather his thoughts while she watched him tensely.

“That last night, after Tino put his hands on you …”

“Yes?”

“I got so mad that I picked up a hammer and I beat him with it. I was going to fight him and that time I meant to win.”

“Scotty …” She said in surprise.

“I hurt him bad. The way I hurt Donald—only Tino didn’t die. But I kept hitting him over and over.” He glanced at Vanessa who remained quiet. “It wasn’t just because of you. We’d just found out that Beady was molested and it just added up that Tino was responsible. Later I found out that he had nothing to do with it.” He sighed. “You know the rest.”

After a few moments she sighed. “Damn, babe. You can’t beat yourself up over it. By the time you did that, Tino had done a lot to create that reaction from you.”

“I don’t feel bad,” he whispered. “I don’t feel bad about Donald, either.” She stared at him and he glanced at her as he drove. “I won’t let anyone hurt my family.”

When they got home, they remained quiet and deep in thought. Scotty wondered if Vanessa thought he was too violent or out of control. And Vanessa wondered if she would have to tiptoe around the bad stuff.

For instance, she had planned to tell him all about dancing at the club and the way she had been stabbed in the back by her boss’ girlfriend. But now she didn’t dare tell him about how she had made her money and she certainly wouldn’t tell him about the way Dino had talked to her. What if he wanted to go up and hurt them for hurting her?

No, that was ridiculous. Scotty wasn’t a sociopath!

She was too tired to talk about it, though, and too tired to wake up Crash just to give him his nightly bath. Scotty offered to do it and Vanessa climbed into bed with troubled thoughts.

By the time Scotty placed their sleeping son beside her on the bed and lay down on the other side of him, Vanessa was deeply asleep.

The next day, Scotty didn’t press her about her quiet. She had learned a lot and not all of it had to do with him.

Scotty made some phone calls and discovered that Jalissa’s mother still lived in Winton Terrace. He didn’t get any information on Jalissa.

“Are you sure that you don’t want me to go with you?” Scotty asked with worry. Winton Terrace could be a dangerous place. He didn’t feel confidant that something wouldn’t take away his joy again.

Vanessa kissed him. “I need to do this alone. Thank you for letting me borrow your car and for watching our son.”

He studies her closely. “I don’t mind watching our son or lending you the car. But I do mind someone doing something to hurt you. I remember what happened the last time.”

He averted his eyes. “But I trust you and I know you can take care of what needs taking care of. Just call me, okay?”

“I will.”

He hugged her and she left for her trip to Winton Terrace.

She would knock on her aunt’s door and hope that Jalissa answered so that she wouldn’t have to speak to the woman. But it wouldn’t be that easy, she was sure.

As Vanessa parked her car in the parking lot outside of the apartment that her aunt had been living in for nearly twenty years, fear nearly sent her retreating back to Scotty’s place.

Who would judge her if she chickened out? She had thrown a phone at her aunt, for God’s sakes!

But that wouldn’t happen either.

Vanessa got out the car, making sure the doors were locked before she hurried up the walkway to the apartment. Even though it was cold outside several kids were playing in the snow and Vanessa remembered the time she and Jalissa had built a snow fort. It was what pre-empted her getting jumped by a gang of girls. It was also the moment that she had learned to fight back.

Vanessa smiled grimly as she remembered the way Jalissa had taken up for her when she had sat there with her hands covering her head. Scotty had just looked at her and said,
‘Don’t tell me that you can’t fight …’

Vanessa knew that she had come a long way since then. She hurried into the apartment and located the familiar door. She inhaled deeply and then knocked.

“Who is it?!” Callista called.

Vanessa swallowed.

“I said who is it!”

“It’s Vanessa. Vanessa White.” She rolled her eyes as if the woman wouldn’t recognize her voice.

Vanessa heard the locks sliding back and then the door opened. Callista Cornel stood in the doorway peering up at her.

Vanessa was confused. This was her aunt but she was completely changed. She had always been shorter than her but now it was in a different way. Callista was stooped over and her back had a hump to one side. She held a cane and Vanessa noted that her knuckles were gnarled.

Callista had to tilt her head to the side in order to look up at her. Instead of her usual wig she wore a scarf. But it was tilted back so far that Vanessa could see tufts of hair poking out from beneath it in patches.

“Hello, aunt Callista.”

The woman stared at her. “Aunt? I thought I was a lying bitch.”

Vanessa’s jaw clenched. “I’m sorry to bother you but I’m looking for Jalissa. Is she still living here?”

Callista’s mouth twisted into a sneer and Vanessa could see that some of her teeth were missing.

“No. I haven’t seen Jalissa in months. And I don’t know where you can find her.” The door shut in Vanessa’s face. She almost raised her hand to knock again but stopped herself. She was unable to face that ghastly sight again.

Her aunt had turned into a monster that matched her outside to her inside.

But now how was she going to find her cousin?

Vanessa left the apartment and stopped to look around. They used to have a girl’s gang. Rochelle’s mother lived next to the cookie lady. Theresa had been the leader and she had lived behind Aunt Callista’s apartment. Then there was Sal who lived one court over, and Malinda who lived two doors down from Carmella.

Vanessa didn’t bother with the car and just went behind the apartment building for the adjacent court where she remembered that Theresa used to live.

Theresa’s mother said that Theresa now lived in Findlater Garden and gave her the telephone number and address. Vanessa didn’t even call. She just drove up the road to a place where two years before Scotty had beat a man to death. She suddenly remembered asking Beady if she ever made a trip down memory lane through Winton Terrace. What a stupid question. There was nothing she wanted to remember about Findlater Garden.

Vanessa knocked on the door and after a few moments a man opened it. He didn’t look pleased that someone was knocking before noon.

“Hi. Sorry to bother you. Uh … is Theresa here?”

“Who are you?” The man asked. He was dressed in jeans and no shirt.

“Vanessa. A friend of Theresa’s.”

The man’s eyes swept over her and then he opened the door wider and allowed her inside.

The apartment was neat and decorated nicely. Pictures of Theresa and a little boy hung on the walls along with artful paintings of African Warriors and children and babies enclosed in strong hands.

The man went upstairs and Vanessa assumed that they were late sleepers. She finally heard scuffling and a little boy came downstairs dressed in pajamas. It was Ricky!

He looked about five or six and he looked at her before sitting on the couch and turning on the television.

“Hi Ricky. I’m a friend of your mother.”

Ricky shrugged and then ignored her.

Theresa came down the stairs next. When she saw Vanessa she squealed in delight. The two women hugged and the greeting lifted her spirits.

“Oh my God, you look so good!” Theresa said.

Theresa was still pretty too and Vanessa told her so. She commented on how big Ricky was and Theresa made a face and dismissed all references to the boy.

“I heard about what happened to you, girl and how Scotty was arrested.”

“They dropped the charges against him and we’re together.”

Theresa looked pleased at the news. Vanessa knew that she could stand there getting caught up with her friend but she was on a mission

“Look, I’m trying to find Jalissa. Do you know where she is?”

Theresa looked sad. “That was bad. You two used to always fight and I used to always tell y’all to stop because y’all were cousins. See what happens when I’m not around?” Theresa moved to the table where she found a scrap of paper and an ink pen.

“I don’t see Jalissa much. She keeps to herself these days. But this is her address and phone number.”

Vanessa thanked her.

“I hope you two fix whatever got broken.”

Vanessa folded the paper and put it in her purse. “I do too, Theresa.”

Vanessa left and this time she decided to call before just heading over to Jalissa’s home.

Knowing that Scotty was worried, she drove back to his place to make the phone call.

He was at the door holding Crash as soon as she opened it.

“How did it go?” He asked before she could speak to say hi.

“I have her address and phone number. I thought I’d call from here … at some point, but not today. There’s too much going on. Plus it’s too close to Christmas.”

He put Crash down and took off her coat and then led her to the couch. He placed his arm around her shoulder.

She gave him a suspicious look. “You’re going to try to talk me out of waiting, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Because the longer you wait the harder it becomes.”

Vanessa took a deep breath. “You’re right.” She stood up and went to the telephone.

She dialed and listened to the ringing of the phone.

“Hello?” Came a soft voice that only sounded vaguely familiar.

“Jalissa?” Vanessa asked.

“Yes.”

“Jalissa, this is Vanessa.”

There was no response.

Vanessa cleared her voice. “I hope you don’t mind me calling. But I wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” Jalissa asked quietly.

Vanessa paused. “About us.”

“Okay.”

“Can we meet somewhere?”

There was another prolonged pause. “I need to pick up my son from daycare. If you want, we can do it after that.”

“Yes.”

They set up a time for later that day, and a place that wasn’t too far from Scotty’s apartment or Jalissa’s day care. Vanessa also wanted to take her son. But didn’t mention it. Crash could be the universal ‘ice breaker’.

She would need it because Jalissa sounded far from happy to hear from her.

Vanessa walked into the coffee shop and looked around. She didn’t see Jalissa so she went to the counter and ordered hot tea and a pack of mandolins to share with her son.

When she turned to find a table, she saw Jalissa enter the shop while holding the hand of a little boy. They locked eyes and than Jalissa’s eyes moved to Crash where she took in everything from his feet to the blond hair that stuck out from beneath his hat.

And while Jalissa was doing that Vanessa was doing the same thing to her and her son.

Jalissa had changed. Gone were her long braids. Her hair was now natural and cut into a short afro that looked fantastic on her. She had slimmed as well. The coat she wore showed that much.

But the most drastic change was that the smile or scowl that was usually present on her face had disappeared and her dimples weren’t showing. Her expression did not show an ounce of her emotion.

But she was here and that said a lot.

Vanessa pursed her lips and walked to her cousin.

“Hey Jalissa.”

“Hi,” Jalissa looked at Crash. “I didn’t know you had a baby. Is there something wrong with his feet?”

Her voice was whispery soft.

Vanessa wasn’t sure how she would respond. The way Jalissa acted worried her and she wanted to ask what was wrong with her. Instead she explained about her son’s club feet.

Vanessa looked down at the little boy who held his mother’s hand, waiting patiently. He was so beautiful that her heart swelled with longing to touch him.

“What did you name your son?”

“Marcus. Mark.”

Vanessa crouched down to the toddler’s level. “Hello Mark.”

“Hi,” he replied.

Vanessa smiled and looked at Jalissa whose expression had only changed enough to show sadness and regret.

“I’ll get us a table if you want to get your drink.”

Jalissa looked toward the counter and then nodded and led her son there while Vanessa secured a small table which had room for an extra chair with a booster seat for Mark.

Jalissa joined them a few moments later. She took off her and Mark’s coat and hung them neatly behind their chairs. She set a bottle of juice before Mark and had a large coffee for herself.

“I’m happy you came.” Vanessa said. “I’m sorry so much time has passed. After Scotty’s trial I left town and moved to New York and I just got back a few days ago.”

Jalissa tilted her head. “You moved?”

“Yes. I’ve been living in New York.”

“Did you become a singer?”

“I did some singing—but mostly I just danced and sang behind other people.”

Jalissa nodded and looked at Crash who was getting cranky and wanted to get out of his mother’s arms so that he could walk. It might have taken him a long time to learn to walk but he certainly tried to make up for lost time.

“May I hold him?” Jalissa asked.

Vanessa was surprised but stood and passed her son to her cousin. Jalissa propped him gently onto her lap, turning him so that she could look at him.

“Hi sweetie.”

Crash quieted, probably due to her soft, soothing voice.

“I’m your auntie,” she said while kissing his cheek. “You’re awfully handsome.” She kissed him again and Vanessa noticed that her dimples were present as she smiled at him.

She looked at Vanessa and her dimples disappeared again as her smile faded.