Everything I've Never Had (26 page)

After the show, Adrian and I make our way backstage to gather the boys for dinner. I know a little shortcut from helping with props and stage design, so we cut through that area. I’m leading Adrian through all of the props and fabric and things that make a show go, when I feel him pull at my elbow, which causes me to stop and look back over my shoulder at him.

Running his hand over my breast and up my neck, he pins me to his chest. His strong fingertips push on my jaw so that my lips meet his. I melt into him while he kisses me tenderly and lovingly for a second. His kiss quickly turns scorching, but before I’m able to absorb all those sensations, he reins it in and places little kisses on my mouth. I smile against his mouth and murmur, “What was that for?”

“For being irresistible,” he murmurs back. I lean in further and give him a quick peck before starting us on our trek again.

Just before we pop out from our hidden location and our stolen moment, I’m stunned to hear a young voice say, “I knew you were gay, dude, but really? A piano solo?” The boy asks with disdain. “You should’ve played some Elton John or something that would be more your deal, right, guys?”

I hear some boys laugh, but I’m even more stunned to hear my Paris respond and deny the claim.

The knowledge that Paris is on the receiving end of the vitriolic comments shakes me from my frozen state to remedy the situation, but before I can emerge completely, Adrian halts me with his words. “Hold on, Mama,” he breathes in my ear.

I look back at him with a frown. He just nods at me to listen to what’s going on. Turning my head back, I hear Paris laugh before he says, “The only reason you’re trying to pick on me is because you have low self-esteem and don’t like yourself.”

I gasp, wondering what the boy will do. I peek out and see not one but three boys cornering him. Shooting a nervous look over my shoulder, Adrian just nods at me and joins me in peeking out.

“What are you even talking about, faggot?” The ringleader asks. My blood boils.

Paris keeps his cool and responds, “I’m talking about that the fact that you’re overweight and hate it, and instead of dealing, you try to make others feel bad. Like when you pick on Jamie for being so skinny or on Josh for being so small. None of us can help the way we are including you. By the way, people don’t really like you, but it’s not because of something you can’t help. It’s because you’re a jerk with a bad attitude.” I mentally clap my hands together.
Go Paris!

“Now here’s the thing,” Paris continues when his brief pause is met with silence, “I like who I am. I like who Jamie is and who Josh is too. I’m even willing to overlook our differences and be friends with you too. Only you have to stop being a jerk to everyone.”

I hear the bully sputter for a second before he threatens, “I can kick your ass.”

Paris just snickers before he says, “You can try, but that’s not gonna happen. I would never start a fight with you, but I will finish it with my black belt in tact.”

“You,” the bully sneers, “have a black belt?”

“Yep. MMA. Mixed Martial Art. You know, Jiu-Jitsu, Muy Thai, wrestling?” Paris had leaned forward with each one of his words so that the bully was the one who was leaning back now. You’ve heard of them, right? Basically, everything I need to know to defend myself and incapacitate you.”

My eyes widen and I glance at Adrian as I hear him rubbing his hands together as if spoiling for a fight. I raise my brows at him and he shrugs at me. “I’m kinda hoping they hit him. I want to see him wipe the floor with their asses.”

I gasp and smack his arm. “Adrian,” I admonish.

I lean back out to see Paris going off in the other direction with the two other boys and I get nervous all over again until I hear one of them say, “Dude, MMA? That’s cool. I’ve been trying to get my mom to sign me up.”

Leaning back against Adrian, I release a long breath and relax my shoulders. “Being a kid sucks sometimes.”

He kisses my cheek and runs his hand over my hair. “Yeah, but I’m proud of him. He handled that well.”

“Yes, he did. It sounded almost...rehearsed.” I turn and raise my brow at him.

He just laughs and nudges me from our hiding place to go and gather the boys.

DINNER IS A reasonable affair considering we have about fifteen of us and more than half is made up of children. The kids are still high from their performances and everyone cajoles Finn into showing the server some of his moves. It doesn’t take much to get him to do that.

The boys are still talking animatedly as we arrive back home. Once they’ve taken care of their chores and I’ve gathered up a little nerve, I call them to the living room. I sit on the couch and pull Finn onto my lap. Adrian sits on the loveseat with Paris, and Archer plops down across from me.

I make eye contact with all of them and tell them again how proud of them I am before I get to the fun part. “Boys, Adrian and I have something we want to share with you. I hope you’ll understand—”

Before I can say another word, Finn cuts me off. “Adrian’s your boyfriend.”

I gasp. Paris and Archer giggle while Finn does his obnoxious snorting laugh. Adrian starts laughing with the boys. “Finn Thomas Hebert.”

“What? We know he is.”

“Yeah, Mom,” Archer agrees.

“Really?” I ask Paris when I see his head nod. He nods again. “Yeah,” he agrees with his brothers.

“And you guys are good with that?”

“Yes,” they say in unison.

“Why didn’t y’all say anything? And how did you know?” I ask, still incredulous.

Finn answers, “It’s gross how we know. I’m
not
saying it.” He swipes his arms in safe motion. I guess that makes it final or something.

Paris pipes up, “We saw you kiss when we were at the park a few days ago. We came from fishing from the other side of the lake, so we just turned around and headed back in the other direction.”

I know my face is blood red; I’m so embarrassed. “I’m sorry, guys.”

With an eye roll, Finn says, “Mom, we’re not babies.”

I squeeze him tight. “I know that, but I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you and that you found out that way.”

Archer looks over at Adrian and takes him in for a minute before he asks, “So what are your plans with our mom?”

“Archer!” I squeak.

“It’s OK, Celeste,” Adrian reassures me before looking back to Archer. “I think it’s important that you boys understand how much you and your mom mean to me. I consider y’all my family, and I have for a long time. And, to be honest, I’ve never had a family like this.” He looks from boy to boy and then finally to me. “I plan to protect that with everything I’ve got. And as for your mother,” he says as he makes eye contact with me again, “I plan to marry her if she’ll have me.” I feel my jaw drop but that doesn’t slow him down. He releases me from his stare to look at the boys with a wicked little smile. “Maybe you guys could help me think of a cool way to propose.”

Paris doesn’t miss a beat, “I think you just did.” We all laugh out loud.

I think he just did, indeed, and if I hadn’t been so shocked, I’d have probably said yes on the spot.

AFTER OUR REVEALING little chat, we settle in to watch a movie. Usually Adrian sits on one of the chairs with one of the boys and the other two boys and I will sit on the couch or they’ll curl up with the dogs on the floor. Tonight, however, he sits on the couch with me but still a respectable distance away. Archer and Paris lie on the floor using Shaggy, their Collie, as their pillow. Finn has his head on my lap and his feet in Adrian’s. Ruby is curled up next to me. I haven’t watched the movie at all because Adrian’s hand has never left my hair and his beautiful blues have never looked away from me.

ADRIAN LET ME tuck the boys in tonight so that I could have a private conversation with them about how they felt about our being a family. I told the boys that they are the first to know and that I’d appreciate them allowing me to tell everyone else. The boys assured me they were more than OK with it. In fact, they loved it. They told me repeatedly that they love Adrian. When I assured them that Adrian would add to our family and make it whole in a new way and that he wasn’t trying to replace their dad, they practically laughed at me and told me that that wasn’t something they were worried about—mature little things.

After I put the little ones in bed, Archer called me back into his room and told me that he’d been worried about what was going on between me and Adrian. He didn’t like the idea of someone, even Adrian, dating his mom without knowing what that person’s intentions were. Once again, I’m floored by one of my thoughtful sons, and I’m so grateful I didn’t screw everything up.

I’m still grinning when I hit the living room ready to make my way to the sunroom for a little private time with my man when I see him still in the living room leaning over the piano playing a couple of quiet notes. I sneak behind him and wrap my arms around him. Burying my forehead between his shoulder blades, I inhale deeply all that is him—strength, masculinity, compassion.

He continues to play for a few seconds before he asks, “Did I scare you with the marriage talk?”

I swallow hard. I’m not scared—I’m petrified. But not of the things he thinks I’m afraid of. “I love that that’s where your heart is. Truth be told, I can’t imagine my life without you. I think we still have some things to figure out, don’t you?”

After a minute of listening to him tinker around, he says, “We do. We need to talk. How about the front porch tonight?”

Loosening my arms to allow him to turn into me, I tilt my head back and take him in. Worry mars his features. I run my fingertips over the frown lines around his eyes. “You all right?”

“Yeah, just some things I want to tell you. I don’t want to get distracted on that loveseat,” he says as he leans in and proves his point by giving me a deep kiss. His hands slip behind me and overlap each other on my behind as he pulls me in tight before releasing me.

“Mmm...OK...I’ll meet you out there.”

Once I make my way to the porch, I’m a ball of nerves. I’ve an idea what he wants to share and it terrifies me. What if what they have on him is so bad that we can’t be together? That it would affect the boys for us to be together? I can’t even wrap my mind around the concept of living my life without him. I know we’ve only had a couple of weeks together, but what we’ve been able to carve out is everything I’ve ever needed. I’m not ready to give that up. I’m certainly not ready to give him up.

He pats the swing beside him, and I barely get settled before he jumps right to the matter at hand.

“I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, Celeste, but you have to know that I did them to protect you and the boys from William and the family. I’m afraid that what I’m about to tell you will scare you off, but I hope not. I want you to know I’m done with it. I won’t be doing them any more favors. If you know the truth, they have nothing to hold over my head. That’s the only thing that was keeping me in play.” Pausing, he looks at me and I can see the fear swimming in his eyes.

I’m scared too, but I reach out and run my hand up and down his jaw for a moment. He leans into my touch and closes his eyes as if gathering his strength.