Everything That Rises Must Converge (34 page)

There was an instant when the Negro might have done one thing or another, might have taken the glasses and crushed them in his hand or grabbed the knife and turned it on him. He saw the exact instant in the muddy liquor-swollen eyes when the pleasure of having a knife in this white man's gut was balanced against something else, he could not tell what.

The Negro reached for the glasses. He attached the bows carefully behind his ears and looked forth. He peered this way and that with exaggerated solemnity. And then he looked directly at Tanner and grinned, or grimaced, Tanner could not tell which, but he had an instant's sensation of seeing before him a negative image of himself, as if clownishness and captivity had been their common lot. The vision failed him before he could decipher it.

“Preacher,” he said, “what you hanging around here for?” He picked up another piece of bark and began, without looking at it, to carve again. “This ain't Sunday.”

“This here ain't Sunday?” the Negro said.

“This is Friday,” he said. “That's the way it is with you preachers—drunk all week so you don't know when Sunday is. What you see through those glasses?”

“See a man.”

“What kind of a man?”

“See the man make theseyer glasses.”

“Is he white or black?”

“He white!” the Negro said as if only at that moment was his vision sufficiently improved to detect it. “Yessuh, he white!” he said.

“Well, you treat him like he was white,” Tanner said. “What's your name?”

“Name Coleman,” the Negro said.

And he had not got rid of Coleman since. You make a monkey out of one of them and he jumps on your back and stays there for life, but let one make a monkey out of you and all you can do is kill him or disappear. And he was not going to hell for killing a nigger. Behind the shack he heard the doctor kick over a bucket. He sat and waited.

In a moment the doctor appeared again, beating his way around the other side of the house, whacking at scattered clumps of Johnson grass with his cane. He stopped in the middle of the yard, about where that morning the daughter had delivered her ultimatum.

“You don't belong here,” he began. “I could have you prosecuted.”

Tanner remained there, dumb, staring across the field.

“Where's your still?” the doctor asked.

“If it's a still around here, it don't belong to me,” he said and shut his mouth tight.

The Negro laughed softly. “Down on your luck, ain't you?” he murmured. “Didn't you used to own a little piece of land over acrost the river and lost it?”

He had continued to study the woods ahead.

“If you want to run the still for me, that's one thing,” the doctor said. “If you don't, you might as well had be packing up.”

“I don't have to work for you,” he said. “The govern-mint ain't got around yet to forcing the white folks to work for the colored.”

The doctor polished the stone in his ring with the ball of his thumb. “I don't like the governmint no bettern you,” he said. “Where you going instead? You going to the city and get you a soot of rooms at the Biltmo' Hotel?”

Tanner said nothing.

“The day coming,” the doctor said, “when the white folks IS going to be working for the colored and you mights well to git ahead of the crowd.”

“That day ain't coming for me,” Tanner said shortly.

“Done come for you,” the doctor said. “Ain't come for the rest of them.”

Tanner's gaze drove on past the farthest blue edge of the treeline into the pale empty afternoon sky. “I got a daughter in the north,” he said. “I don't have to work for you.”

The doctor took his watch from his watch pocket and looked at it and put it back. He gazed for a moment at the back of his hands. He appeared to have measured and to know secretly the time it would take everything to change finally upsidedown. “She don't want no old daddy like you,” he said. “Maybe she say she do, but that ain't likely. Even if you rich,” he said, “they don't want you. They got they own ideas. The black ones they rares and they pitches. I made mine,” he said, “and I ain't done none of that.” He looked again at Tanner. “I be back here next week,” he said, “and if you still here, I know you going to work for me.” He remained there a moment, rocking on his heels, waiting for some answer. Finally he turned and started beating his way back through the overgrown path.

Tanner had continued to look across the field as if his spirit had been sucked out of him into the woods and nothing was left on the chair but a shell. If he had known it was a question of this—sitting here looking out of this window all day in this no-place, or just running a still for a nigger, he would have run the still for the nigger. He would have been a nigger's white nigger any day. Behind him he heard the daughter come in from the kitchen. His heart accelerated but after a second he heard her plump herself down on the sofa. She was not yet ready to go. He did not turn and look at her.

She sat there silently a few moments. Then she began. “The trouble with you is,” she said, “you sit in front of that window all the time where there's nothing to look out at. You need some inspiration and an out-let. If you would let me pull your chair around to look at the TV, you would quit thinking about morbid stuff, death and hell and judgement. My Lord.”

“The Judgement is coming,” he muttered. “The sheep'll be separated from the goats. Them that kept their promises from them that didn't. Them that did the best they could with what they had from them that didn't. Them that honored their father and their mother from them that cursed them. Them that…”

She heaved a mammoth sigh that all but drowned him out. “What's the use in me wasting my good breath?” she asked. She rose and went back in the kitchen and began knocking things about.

She was so high and mighty! At home he had been living in a shack but there was at least air around it. He could put his feet on the ground. Here she didn't even live in a house. She lived in a pigeon-hutch of a building, with all stripes of foreigner, all of them twisted in the tongue. It was no place for a sane man. The first morning here she had taken him sightseeing and he had seen in fifteen minutes exactly how it was. He had not been out of the apartment since. He never wanted to set foot again on the underground railroad or the steps that moved under you while you stood still or any elevator to the thirty-fourth floor. When he was safely back in the apartment again, he had imagined going over it with Coleman. He had to turn his head every few seconds to make sure Coleman was behind him. Keep to the inside or these people'll knock you down, keep right behind me or you'll get left, keep your hat on, you damn idiot, he had said, and Coleman had come on with his bent running shamble, panting and muttering, What we doing here? Where you get this fool idea coming here?

I come to show you it was no kind of place. Now you know you were well off where you were.

I knowed it before, Coleman said. Was you didn't know it.

When he had been here a week, he had got a postcard from Coleman that had been written for him by Hooten at the railroad station. It was written in green ink and said, “This is Coleman—X—howyou boss.” Under it Hooten had written from himself, “Quit frequenting all those nitespots and come on home, you scoundrel, yours truly, W. P. Hooten.” He had sent Coleman a card in return, care of Hooten, that said, “This place is alrite if you like it. Yours truly, W. T. Tanner.” Since the daughter had to mail the card, he had not put on it that he was returning as soon as his pension check came. He had not intended to tell her but to leave her a note. When the check came, he would hire himself a taxi to the bus station and be on his way. And it would have made her as happy as it made him. She had found his company dour and her duty irksome. If he had sneaked out, she would have had the pleasure of having tried to do it and to top that off, the pleasure of his ingratitude.

As for him, he would have returned to squat on the doctor's land and to take his orders from a nigger who chewed ten-cent cigars. And to think less about it than formerly. Instead he had been done in by a nigger actor, or one who called himself an actor. He didn't believe the nigger was any actor.

There were two apartments on each floor of the building. He had been with the daughter three weeks when the people in the next hutch moved out. He had stood in the hall and watched the moving-out and the next day he had watched a moving-in. The hall was narrow and dark and he stood in the corner out of the way, offering only a suggestion every now and then to the movers that would have made their work easier for them if they had paid any attention. The furniture was new and cheap so he decided the people moving in might be a newly married couple and he would just wait around until they came and wish them well. After a while a large Negro in a light blue suit came lunging up the stairs, carrying two canvas suitcases, his head lowered against the strain. Behind him stepped a young tan-skinned woman with bright copper-colored hair. The Negro dropped the suitcases with a thud in front of the door of the next apartment.

“Be careful, Sweetie,” the woman said. “My make-up is in there.”

It broke upon him then just what was happening.

The Negro was grinning. He took a swipe at one of her hips.

“Quit it,” she said, “there's an old guy watching.”

They both turned and looked at him.

“Had-do,” he said and nodded. Then he turned quickly into his own door.

His daughter was in the kitchen. “Who you think's rented that apartment over there?” he asked, his face alight.

She looked at him suspiciously. “Who?” she muttered.

“A nigger!” he said in a gleeful voice. “A South Alabama nigger if I ever saw one. And got him this high-yeller, high-stepping woman with red hair and they two are going to live next door to you!” He slapped his knee. “Yes siree!” he said. “Damn if they ain't!” It was the first time since coming up here that he had had occasion to laugh.

Her face squared up instantly. “All right now you listen to me,” she said. “You keep away from them. Don't you go over there trying to get friendly with him. They ain't the same around here and I don't want any trouble with niggers, you hear me? If you have to live next to them, just you mind your business and they'll mind theirs. That's the way people were meant to get along in this world. Everybody can get along if they just mind their business. Live and let live.” She began to wrinkle her nose like a rabbit, a stupid way she had. “Up here everybody minds their own business and everybody gets along. That's all you have to do.”

“I was getting along with niggers before you were born,” he said. He went back out into the hall and waited. He was willing to bet the nigger would like to talk to someone who understood him. Twice while he waited, he forgot and in his excitement, spit his tobacco juice against the baseboard. In about twenty minutes, the door of the apartment opened again and the Negro came out. He had put on a tie and a pair of horn-rimmed spectacles and Tanner noticed for the first time that he had a small almost invisible goatee. A real swell. He came on without appearing to see there was anyone else in the hall.

“Haddy, John,” Tanner said and nodded, but the Negro brushed past without hearing and went rattling rapidly down the stairs.

Could be deaf and dumb, Tanner thought. He went back into the apartment and sat down but each time he heard a noise in the hall, he got up and went to the door and stuck his head out to see if it might be the Negro. Once in the middle of the afternoon, he caught the Negro's eye just as he was rounding the bend of the stairs again but before he could get out a word, the man was in his own apartment and had slammed the door. He had never known one to move that fast unless the police were after him.

He was standing in the hall early the next morning when the woman came out of her door alone, walking on high gold-painted heels. He wished to bid her good morning or simply to nod but instinct told him to beware. She didn't look like any kind of woman, black or white, he had ever seen before and he remained pressed against the wall, frightened more than anything else, and feigning invisibility.

The woman gave him a flat stare, then turned her head away and stepped wide of him as if she were skirting an open garbage can. He held his breath until she was out of sight. Then he waited patiently for the man.

The Negro came out about eight o'clock.

This time Tanner advanced squarely in his path. “Good morning, Preacher,” he said. It had been his experience that if a Negro tended to be sullen, this title usually cleared up his expression.

The Negro stopped abruptly.

“I seen you move in,” Tanner said. “I ain't been up here long myself. It ain't much of a place if you ask me. I reckon you wish you were back in South Alabama.”

The Negro did not take a step or answer. His eyes began to move. They moved from the top of the black hat, down to the collarless blue shirt, neatly buttoned at the neck, down the faded galluses to the grey trousers and the high-top shoes and up again, very slowly, while some unfathomable dead-cold rage seemed to stiffen and shrink him.

“I thought you might know somewhere around here we could find us a pond, Preacher,” Tanner said in a voice growing thinner but still with considerable hope in it.

A seething noise came out of the Negro before he spoke. “I'm not from South Alabama,” he said in a breathless wheezing voice. “I'm from New York City. And I'm not no preacher! I'm an actor.”

Tanner chortled. “It's a little actor in most preachers, ain't it?” he said and winked. “I reckon you just preach on the side.”

“I don't preach!” the Negro cried and rushed past him as if a swarm of bees had suddenly come down on him out of nowhere. He dashed down the stairs and was gone.