Everything You Want: Everything For You Trilogy 2 (40 page)

“I think it’s fair to say we were both as bad as each other when we had a mind to go there.”

“You liked Harry, didn’t you?”

“I did. And
you
still miss him too.”

“Every single day.”

“Well it’s a happy man who’s missed by a lovely woman every single day.”

Then you’ve been a very happy man, Jack Keogh, I think. The waitress returns with menus.

“Now you know you’ll be expected to sample the beer,” Jack tells me.

“Is it a working brewery?” I ask.

“They brew more beers here than any other brewery in the country. But they also import the finest from all over the world.”

“Are you planning on getting me drunk?”

“A little drunk wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing,” he quips. “As long as I’m here to look after you.”

Oh yes it would. Somehow I’ve got to get myself to Claridge’s with an evening dress and Jack’s black tie smuggled out in a bag.

“It would if you want sex,” I state baldly when the waitress departs.

“Better only try a few sips then. I can almost feel Harry eyes on me. He’d kick my rear end if I got you all squiffy.”

“Squiffy?” I repeat. “Not a chance. You’re not getting squiffy either, if you want to sail me back up river in a straight line.” No-one said I’d have to keep Jack from getting blootered before his surprise party. This thing is getting way more complicated by the minute.

“Fair play. Just a pint, a well-chosen one then. Will you share a dozen Irish Carlingford Oysters with me, darlin’ girl?”

“I will, Jack.” The pair of us are either sounding more Irish or more pirate by the minute. I’m not quite sure. It’s either all that river air or the rich smells in the brewery affecting my brain.

The waitress returns and takes our order. “London Stout goes well with oysters,” she informs us.

“Then we’ll have a pint of that to share, to be sure.”

I nod my agreement.

“I’ve already pre-ordered lobster. I needed to order in advance to get some sent in fresh.”

“That sounds lovely.”

“Will that be with lemon butter sauce or the anchovy and tarragon butter?” the waitress enquires.

“My delightful companion will decide.”

The waitress looks at me. I feel like playing that joke where I look around me to try and find the delightful companion Jack’s referring to, but decide I’ve been silly enough for one day. “Lemon butter sauce sounds fabulous. Is that okay?” I still naturally want to defer to Jack.

He nods. “Delicious. Lemon butter sauce it is.”

“I recommend the Blanche de Bruxelles with your choice.” The waitress makes a note on her pad when Jack agrees.

“And we’ll try a fun beer while we’re waiting.” He looks at me in query. “Raspberry, strawberry or chocolate?”

“Chocolate beer?” I’ve never heard anything like it. Both Jack and the waitress smile at my naivety.

“Chocolate, it is then,” Jack orders. “And a pitcher of iced water with lemon.”

The waitress departs. Somehow we’ve ended up ordering three pints of ale between us and I suspect they’re all strong ones. I’ll just have to keep a firm eye on both myself and Jack. I wouldn’t want to go blurting out either of my secrets before I’m ready, simply because I can’t keep my wits about me. Although Jack’s tolerance to alcohol has probably been honed over many a boozy weekend with Harry, who always enjoyed a good pint of beer, I’m not in that league.

Jack might disagree.

It’s funny how Harry never suggested we come to the Old Brewery to eat together. Perhaps he was worried I’d accidently run into Jack. I think Harry knew fine well how I felt about him, even if we never talked about it. I suspect he’d be happy if he could see us here together.

The chocolate beer arrives first and Jack offers me a sip. He watches my reaction with interest. “It’s malty,” I suggest, “and I can taste a hint of vanilla in the chocolate.” I take another small sip and slide the glass across to him. “It’s not what I think when I think beer, put it that way.”

“What about when you think chocolate?” He lifts it and takes a good glug. I wrinkle my nose as he puts the glass back on the table looking thoughtful. “You have a good sense of taste. That’s actually a near perfect description. Next.”

I laugh when he dismisses it as not quite his thing either. “It’s an interesting flavour and I’m glad I tried it but I think I’ll stick to the conventional.”

“I always knew you were the perfect girl for me,” he laughs.

Our eyes fly to each other’s and then at anything but the person across the table. I get the feeling he never meant to say that out loud and I don’t know what to make of it. The words were fine. The fact he wouldn’t look me in the eye afterwards, not so much.

I hold my pendent for courage.

I’m frightened once more to reveal my true feelings but one thing’s for sure I’m not going back on the decision now I’ve made it. I have to get this out in the open. The secrecy is killing me. I swear I’ll never keep another secret from Jack as long as I live.

Perhaps I’ll never get a chance to. But that’s the risk I have to take.

The oysters arrive just in time.

We chat over food until I’m more and more convinced that the old Jack, my Jack, has been here all along. I notice he’s suggested food we have to get down and dirty eating. We even talk using the lobsters as ventriloquists’ dummies which he starts and I join in. His one sounds like an Irish pirate. I almost wonder if the
Boss
is just a façade. A mask he adopts to get what he wants out of people. No wonder he’s so successful.

Despite having three pints of beer at our disposal neither of us drinks more than a few sips of each. I’m mindful of the fact I have to get myself away from Jack without raising his suspicions and, I suppose, he’s conscious of the fact he has a boat to sail back and a car to drive. I’ve no idea how he’s planning on getting the latter home. The same way it got here I suppose. I don’t ask.

We drink lots of iced water as it’s a warm day even though we’re sitting in the shade. I wish I’d brought shorts to change into. Afterwards we stroll through Greenwich Park and stand astride the meridian like all the other tourists.

I try to keep my eye on the time as I have to leave Belvedere by six thirty at the latest. He notices me glancing at my phone for the umpteenth time.

“Expecting a message?”

“No.”

“Got somewhere else you need to be?” He’s far too perceptive. And direct. He gets straight to the heart of the matter.

“Bad habit. I’ve been a clock watcher since High School.” And I tell little white lies.

“Always some commitment, huh?

“I suppose.”

“Well we have nowhere we need to be this weekend, except together.” He wraps an arm over my shoulder and tucks me into his side as we ramble. I feel content when I’m with him, like it’s the only place I’m meant to be.

He’s really planned to spend his whole birthday weekend with me. And that has nothing to do with handling the media. It gives me hope. No wonder Amanda decided to make some party plans of her own. I’m sure she didn’t like it when she heard he wouldn’t be available to her. More and more I wish I’d told her to get lost but she kind of put me on the spot appearing out of the blue late Friday afternoon. She didn’t give me time to think and I’m certain now that was deliberate.

If I don’t play ball,
I’ll
look like the one who’s trying to keep Jack from his friends. Either way, I can’t win. I’ll just have to go through with it.

I console myself that tonight when the party is over and we’re alone I’ll make my feelings for Jack clear. I’ll tell him everything that is in my heart; get it all out in the open. Then I’ll discover, once and for all, if I have any hope with him at all. This is a scary time for me. I’ve kept these feelings secret for so long, tonight really is make or break.

Yet I’m starting to believe Jack might be developing deeper feelings for me too. My heart bounds hopefully even as my stomach flips with fear. He may have started out wanting to punish the upstart who dared invade his boardroom shouting her demands, but I think that spending time with me might have changed his mind a little. His early intentions may have been to compensate for guilt at ending his contract with Harry’s company but my whole intuition tells me it’s grown into something deeper.
If
I can trust my instincts around Jack.

Lenuta said it. He followed you to Paris. Even if it was to Brittany.

Perhaps he remembered the past and the closeness that once grew between us and I wasn’t deluded. Maybe we weren’t totally intimate then but there was always something there. Something so deeply engraved on my soul can’t possibly be only in my imagination. Can it?

Perhaps it’s just the sex though. My mind twists back and forth between hope and despair.

I know he desires me physically now I’ve matured a bit but maybe those feelings are engaging deeper emotions. That’s probably why Amanda is acting decisively. She can feel him pulling away from her and growing closer to me.

Or it could be he just wants a short period of hot sex.

Jack and I stand, taking one last look at the sweep of parkland before we return to the car.

“You’re very quiet,” he says.

“Thinking.”

“About?”

“What a perfect day this has been.”

“So far.”

I turn to stare at him. What does he mean? Does he have any idea I’m going to alter whatever plans he’s made from here on in?

“Don’t look so worried.” He eases the knot of tension at my temple with his thumbs. “I’m not suggesting the boat is going to sink or anything.” I relax in his arms a bit. He hasn’t rumbled my plans or if he has he’s better than me at hiding his suspicions. “I just mean the day isn’t over yet.”

I smile ruefully. If only you knew. “I’m looking forward to sailing home with you.” I figure I ought to get him at least thinking about heading homewards. We’ve been here a couple of hours and it will take at least another three to sail back to Chelsea Harbour. The more this perfect day turns, the more I sense time becoming my enemy.

“Can’t wait to get me alone, is that it?” His Arctic blue eyes burn into mine.

I know what he wants. I want that too. He kisses me, crushing me to his body.

“I want to undo that belt and peel those tight little jeans from your hips.” He grinds his erection subtly into me, pressing me firmly towards him with a groan so I’m in no doubt about the state he’s in. “Although we don’t have to wait to get home. I have a floating pleasure palace with a double berth and a sound lock on the stateroom door. That rocking of the water when you’re deep inside your lover, I want to experience it with you.”

My body approves whole-heartedly and lets me know it and briefly I wonder if we have enough time to spare. Each minute is ticking away inside my brain. But a quickie with Jack usually means a sexual marathon. He’s insatiable. I can see my plans disintegrate to dust before my eyes.

I hate to do it, especially when I’m so happy and he’s so happy with me but I don’t see I have much choice. “You’ve done that with other women on your boat?”

He pulls back from nuzzling beneath my ear to look at me. I can tell he can’t believe what I just said. I can’t believe it either. Of course he’s had other women. No-one gets this good at sex without plenty of practice. And Jack is a very good man for the sex, as Lenuta would say.

But I feel a bit jealous just the same. Until I know he feels for me what I feel for him, I’ll resent every woman he’s ever been with. Particularly Amanda. Has he experienced rocking with her, in one of the staterooms on board
cailín álainn
?

“Is that really what you want to discuss with me?” He’s breathing hard.

“That’s not a no, then,” I snap.

“Really, Tabitha. Today I want to share myself with you. Only you. And you want to bring up other women?”

“And what about tomorrow?” I’m only partially playing for time. I can’t help my strongest insecurities seeping to the surface where Jack is concerned. He’s too important to me. I just can’t bear the thought he might throw me over once more.

He grabs my hand and stalks off fast. “You really know how to spoil a moment. Sometimes I think you do it deliberately.” He stops abruptly yanking me to a halt. “You had something you wanted to tell me.”

“Tonight. Please Jack. Give me until tonight.” I can’t do it here. Not now. Especially, not now.

I squirm under his frowning scrutiny. “Perhaps whatever it is, is better out in the open as soon as possible. Maybe it will tell me why you act like you want me one minute, then you want to push me away. Why do you do that?”

“What are you saying?”

“Blowing hot and cold. One minute you’re writhing beneath me like a cat on heat, the next you’re distant. Unreachable.”

I’m utterly shocked at his description of my desire for him. A cat on heat? Is that why he calls me Tabby? Perhaps he and Amanda joke about it. Does he only like me because I’m sexually adventurous with him? Is that all he wants from me? Am I kidding myself this is anything more than physical between us?