Everywhere and Nowhere (Safe Haven Book 1) (9 page)

Hadley gripped the table in front of her and he reached out and grabbed her hand.

Her eyes looked panicked. “I’m not anyone’s salvation. It’s not as if we’ve ever had a face-to-face conversation.”

He shrugged his shoulders, pretending a calm for Hadley’s sake that he did not feel.

“How could you, on Earth? Don’t worry. When we get to Astor, the Great Ones there will either greet you or they won’t. You did your part of this deal when you opened the portal. Now we just need to get you healthy.”

But Hadrian didn’t believe his own words, and the crocodile’s greeting by the lake when they arrived made more sense. The Seers had seen Hadley coming—they knew what her arrival meant. It was more than likely that Hadley’s arrival signified the end of this dark time. That meant that whether she liked it or not, the royals were going to have expectations of her.

Silently, he made the first vow he’d made since swearing to protect Zamara. He would not fail Hadley. Whatever happened, she would not be hurt or distressed in any way. All of Haven could be damned.

As he stared across the table into her green, mist-filled eyes, he wondered if somehow she had heard his silent oath. He hoped she had.

Hadley lay in the darkness of the guest room she’d been given and tried to make her head stop pounding. She had no idea if they even got headaches on Haven or if was just what Hadrian would think of as her “weak human side” that caused the pounding in her temples. So rather than ask for a pain reliever, she opted to suffer in silence.

Besides, it wasn’t as though she could take a pill that could make her thoughts calm down. Why had she told them she spoke to the giant squid? Maybe she really was just deluding herself or perhaps it had been a one-time thing.

She was sure she was no one’s savior.

Hadley rolled over onto her stomach and pushed her head down onto the pillow. For a moment she tried counting backward in her mind to see if she could distract herself, but that only managed to make her frustrated, which left her with no choice but to roll over again.

Unsure of who had the room next to hers, she attempted to ignore the loud snores that sounded through the wall. She felt bad for whatever woman had to share a room with whoever was in there. If there was one thing she couldn’t stand, it was loud snoring that kept her up all night. Her father snored. The few times they’d gone on vacations as a family—well, what constituted “as a family” for her father, which usually meant he joined Hadley, her sister and the nanny after a few days—she’d hated staying in adjoining rooms because she knew every night she’d be in agony, waiting for daylight.

Groaning, she covered her eyes with her hands as if she could make the already pitch-black room even darker. She heard the door creak open and she darted up in bed and clutched the pillow to her chest.

“Who’s there?” Her voice shook.

“It’s Hadrian, darling. Don’t be afraid.”

How had he known she was terrified and why was he in her room? “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to check on you, make sure you’re okay. I just had this feeling you were in discomfort.”

If she’d been back at home she would have called him a liar, but who knew how they did things in Haven? Maybe they could sense the pain of everyone in the house. “I’m sorry if my headache disturbed your sleep.”

Hadrian approached the bed and sat down next to her. He placed his hand on her head and she tried not to sigh with the pleasure his cool hand gave to her hot skin.

“You’re burning up.”

“I don’t feel hot. My head is just pounding and whoever is in the next room is snoring so loudly I could throw something.”

He actually snickered. “Poor Stone. Did he just lose your heart?”

Hadley sighed. If Hadrian was going to give her a hard time, he could get out. “For the thousandth time today, Stone never had my heart.”

“I’m teasing you, but I know your head hurts, sorry.” He picked her up in his arms and she groaned. “It’s quieter in my room and I can take care of you there.”

“I didn’t ask you to take care of me.” Why was she being obstinate? Oh that was right—because she was just a means to an end for him and she’d be damned if she’d also become a burden. “Put me down and I’ll take care of myself. I’ve been doing it since I was fourteen years old.”

That was the year she and Hailey had woken up on the morning of their birthday to find their nanny dismissed and their bags packed, and after they’d blown out the candles on their birthday cake they had been deposited on a train to an all-girls school in Connecticut.

Hadrian crossed the room with her in his arms as if she weighed nothing. She might have fought him if she’d had even the slightest amount of energy left, but rather than getting better she seemed to be getting worse. Finally giving up, she relaxed in his arms, remembering how good it had felt to be in his embrace when they’d traveled through the portal.

It was cooler in the hallway and a dim light burned at the end by the staircase. The shadows on the wall were long and thick, looking as if they might come alive. She laughed, which became a groan. “I think I must be losing my mind, Hadrian. I’m having delusional thoughts. Is that one of the first signs that the poison is working? Headache and fever followed by delusions?”

“Annabelle started with fever and vomiting. Bethany had a seizure. Clarice fainted and never woke up. I didn’t stick around to watch Deirdre die. But it seems as if everyone was unique in how they lost their lives.”

Hadley shook her head. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked you to remember.”

“I told you that you were going to die, which gives you the right to ask me about

it.”

She pushed her head up against his chest and listened to the strong beat of his heart. Her sister had been a lucky woman. Even though she’d died way too young, the little time she’d gotten to spend on Earth, she’d been with Hadrian. He hadn’t just considered her to be a waste of time but rather something to be treasured.

“What were your delusional thoughts?”

She sighed. “It looks as if the shadows on the wall are alive.”

Hadrian opened the door to what she assumed was his room and walked inside. It was cooler in his room than it had been in hers but not as chilly as the hall had been. He laid her down on the bed and pulled off her pants.

She opened her eyes. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“You have been wearing the same dirty pajamas for over a day now. They stink. But in addition to that, I’m trying to get you cooled off.”

His argument had some logic and she was too uncomfortable to care that he was about to see her naked. Except, in some deep crevice of her mind, she acknowledged that she would officially have no secrets from him when this was over. She would probably be a pale comparison to Annabelle, and he’d once again congratulate himself on not being involved with a Pettigrew. A completely unattractive Pettigrew.

Her thoughts started to drift and she hoped that within moments she’d be asleep so she could be unaware of whatever new humiliations she was about to endure. Even though it made no sense, with her eyes closed she could see the shadows more clearly.

They were alive and they were everywhere. But now she could see they weren’t just shadows—they held shapes. Men and women swirled around the room, approaching her—soon they’d be so close they might eat her up. She couldn’t let that happen. Her eyes flew open.

“Hadrian,” she shouted as her head turned from side to side.

A damp rag pressed against her forehead. “I’m bringing down your fever, Hadley. What you smell is herbs and holistic medicine my mother keeps around the house.”

“They’re coming for me, Hadrian. They want me with them.”

“You’re not making any sense, Hadley. It’s the fever.”

She shook her head. “No, the shadows are coming, Hadrian. Please believe me.”

“We’ll talk about it in the morning.”

She thought she felt him lean over and kiss her gently on the cheek. “You’re cooling off, darling. Try to go back to sleep.”

“Why do you call me that?”

“What?”

“Darling.”

He stroked her hair out of her eyes. “Sleep.”

Her eyes felt heavy, and against her will they closed again. She braced herself for the shadows, but instead she was once again in the Mote museum, staring at the tank that held the giant squid. She walked to the cool glass and pressed her hands against it.

We told you we knew he wouldn’t hurt you
.

“I guess it depends on your definition of hurt. I’m afraid I had developed a little crush on Hawk-boy and he quickly rid me of that. But I believe I’ll be fine.”

So you think you’re over your feelings for Hadrian? That’s why you’re curled up in a bed with him letting him take care of you while you’re sick
?

Hadley wasn’t going to even answer that question. For her own sanity, it was better she continued to pretend she didn’t care for Hadrian. She cleared her throat. “They call you the Great Ones. You’ve stopped speaking to them in Astor.”

The squid twirled around in its cage.
We have been prevented from communicating, but now you have come and we like talking to you
.

Hadley pressed her head up against the glass. “I like talking to you too, so will you speak to me when I get to Astor or will I come across like a crazy person?”

We will always answer you, Hadley Pettigrew, daughter of Zamara, Princess of Haven and Heart of the Sea. Watch out for the shadows. They are everywhere
.

Hadley’s eyes felt heavy as she struggled to open them. Hadrian lay next to her on the bed, one arm draped over her body with his hand pressed up against her cheek. Well, at least he didn’t snore. When she’d been a child and sick, she’d desperately wished for someone to hold her like this. An incredible sadness filled Hadley and she didn’t try to stop the tears that welled up in her eyes. Not only did this illness signify the beginning of her death, but the person who held her as if she was cherished didn’t actually have those feelings for her.

She was going to go her entire life without anyone feeling that way about her. Without ever having her feelings returned.

Hadrian’s thumb brushed over her eye as another tear fell. His eyes flew open.

“Hadley, are you still feeling sick?” He sat up, his voice rough like sandpaper.

“No, thank you, I’m much cooler.”

She rolled over, suddenly embarrassed by letting her emotions show. Looking down at herself, she realized she was covered only by a sheet and completely naked otherwise.

A flood of embarrassment filled her as she remembered how little she’d protested his taking off her clothes. The sainted Annabelle would probably have put up more of a fight. The sainted Annabelle would not have jumped him.

She knew that was an unfair thought and she didn’t care.

“Scared me last night. You got so hot and incredibly pale.” He pushed his hand against her forehead and pulled her back against his chest. “I was worried you weren’t coming back.”

He absently stroked her hair as he spooned behind her. She closed her eyes again. Maybe she shouldn’t care that it wasn’t real or that he was thinking of Annabelle. She might be dead any day. Any affection was better than none, wasn’t it?

She sniffed. “It wouldn’t be your fault. You didn’t inject me with the poison. At least I wouldn’t have died all by myself, which probably would have been the case back at home. I guess that still might be the case when we get to Astor.” She swallowed but her throat still felt dry. A thought suddenly occurred to her and she felt ashamed. “Hadrian, I’m sorry about your father.”

“Thank you, Hadley.” She swore she could hear the sadness of the universe in his tone. “I won’t let you die alone.”

At least he hadn’t made promises he couldn’t keep. No heroic declarations that he would see to it that she didn’t die at all. That would be, of course, impossible. She sighed. “Thank you.”

A high-pitched feminine scream filled the air and Hadrian detached himself from her and leaped out of bed. “Mother?”

He ran out into the hall wearing only his boxer shorts and giving her a view of his back, which, like his arms, was covered in tattoos. Without her glasses, she couldn’t make out what the markings were. Hopefully Hadrian had thought to take them when he’d come into her room last night.

Hadley reached over to the side of the bed and was relieved to find her glasses. She pushed the frames up onto her face and the room seemed so much brighter and more in focus. Doors opened and slammed closed in the hall as the Warriors responded to the scream. Hadrian’s mother seemed like such a nice woman—she wanted to see if she could help.

As she stood her knees almost buckled, but she caught herself on the edge of the bed.

So last night’s episode had clearly knocked some of her strength out of her. Stumbling around, she found her way to Hadrian’s closet, where she grabbed what she hoped was an unimportant T-shirt he wouldn’t mind her temporarily stealing. It covered her completely, almost past her knees, and even though she still felt shaky, she walked slowly out of the door of Hadrian’s room.

“I just don’t see how this could have happened overnight.” Hadrian was shouting but he didn’t sound alarmed or angry, rather as if he were trying to be heard over the hubbub happening around him.

She followed the sound of his voice until she was in the kitchen. Hadrian and his men surrounded a woman Hadley had never seen before. The woman was simply stunning.

Long black hair that looked like fine spun silk fell down her back. Her skin was pale, smooth and unblemished. Her blue eyes gleamed with life and laughter. Who was she and why was Hadrian gripping her shoulders?

Hadley cleared her throat. She really needed a glass of water.

The woman spun around. “Hadley!” The joy exploded from that one word and Hadley found herself in the other woman’s embrace.

“I’m sorry,” Hadley sputtered, “but do we know each other?”

“Oh.” A tear slipped from the dark woman’s eye. “You don’t recognize me. I’m Leopard, Hadrian’s mother.”

Hadley gasped and pulled back to look at her. Dear heavens, now she could see the resemblance. Hadrian looked a great deal like his mother. Same dark hair, and the high cheekbones that were evident on his face could now be seen on hers. But how was this possible?