Ex-Rating (21 page)

“Okay,” Mads said.

“Good. Your suspension is over. Please return to school tomorrow. I will see that this episode is stricken from your record.
It won’t hurt you in any way.”

“Thank you!” Mads nearly jumped up and hugged him, but held herself back.

“You would have fit in well with us back in the old days, Mads,” Rod said. “You would have made a great hippie radical. Now
go celebrate with your friends.”

’Thanks, Mr. Alvarado.”
He’s really not so rigid, after all
, Mads thought. Maybe he didn’t deserve the nickname “Rod.” Mads thought maybe she should stop calling him that, even privately.
But she knew she wouldn’t.

HERE IS TODAY’S HOROSCOPE: CANCER: Your long, winding, painful path has finally brought you your heart’s desire. Would it
kill you to take the short, straight, pleasant path next time?

H
ey, congratulations!” Walker said. Lina, Mads, Holly, Rob, Sebastiano, Ramona, and tons of other kids had flooded the Rutgers
Roadhouse, a rock club, Thursday night for a big post-meeting celebration. A band was playing, and the students were in a
happy mood, amped on a sense of their own power.

Lina hadn’t had a chance to talk to Walker since their kiss. She wondered what was going on—did he regret it? Did he feel
guilty? Did he tell Flynn about it? She looked up at him nervously.

“You guys were amazing,” Walker said. “That stuff Mads dug up—she should go into investigative reporting.”

“I know,” Lina said. “She was fantastic. I’m just glad she can come back to school now and everything’s okay.”

“Um, look, can I talk to you?” Walker said. He nodded toward the door.

“Sure,” Lina said. She followed him outside. What did he want? Maybe he was going to say they couldn’t kiss like that again
because of Flynn. After all, he did have a girlfriend. …

A few kids were smoking in the parking lot. Walker and Lina leaned against a car.

“I just wanted to tell you that I broke up with Flynn,” Walker said.

“You did?” Lina stared at her feet, trying not to give away how happy and surprised she felt.

“Uh-huh.” He faced her and took both her hands in his. He was shaking.
He’s nervous!
Lina realized.

“Lina—I want to be with you,” he said. “In a girlfriend/boyfriend way, I mean. More than friends.”

“You do?” When she looked into his face, she felt flooded with a warm, happy feeling. Walker! He wanted to be with her! He
was her guy! And it seemed right.

“So—what do you think about that?”

“I like it,” she said. “I want to be with you, too.”

“Really? You’re not messing with my head?”

“No—really! I’ve liked you for a long time,” she said. “I was just too stupid to realize it for a while.”

“Me too,” Walker said. He bent his face toward her. She tilted hers up. They kissed. Their second kiss. It was soft and sweet
and better than the first one. Lina sighed and put her arms around him. He pulled her against him and held her close.

Finally she liked someone who liked her back! No more impossible dreams, liking people who were unavailable or taken. He was
hers and she was his. She wondered why it had taken her so long to get here. But sometimes that’s just the way things go.

We’re back! The Dating Game is back on the RSAGE school Web site. Thank you all for your fabulous support! We couldn’t have
done it without you! Free speech for everyone! And matchmaking forever!

X-Rating

OFFICIAL CORRECTION

A few weeks ago an X-Rating from someone named “Elvira” appeared on this site in error. It contained much false information
and never should have been allowed online. First, there is no Elvira, it was a false name. Second, nothing she wrote about
her victim, Walker Moore, was true. I repeat: Nothing! We have erased Elvira’s X-Rating. I would like to replace it with a
Current-Girlfriend Rating
.

Your name:
Lina Ozu

Your grade:
10th

Your boyfriend’s name:
Walker Moore

Your boyfriend’s grade:
11th

How do you know him/her?
school

How have you been together?
a day

What do you think of your boyfriend?
He’s patient, honest, smart, a good writer, not as good a speller as he thinks [oh, yeah? Prove it! -WM], a little quick-tempered,
and really, really cute
.

On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being the highest, you rate your ex boyfriend:
10 plus

And for the record
, Lina wrote, stopping to peek down the back of Walker’s shirt—and, she noticed, he let her—
he doesn’t have backne
.

Here’s a sneak peek at
The Dating Game #5

T
hat dirty little punk,” Mads said.

“He’s not exactly little,” Holly said.

“Okay,” Mads corrected herself. “That big, weird-haired dork. I always thought his hair looked like it was sewn onto his scalp.”

“
Now
you tell me,” Holly said. They were talking about Rob, Holly’s boyfriend—make that
ex
-boyfriend—whose hair was so thick, it looked like teddy bear fur. Unlike Mads (news to Holly), Holly had always loved his
hair.
Uh-oh—tears coming on
. Holly pinched her forearm to suppress them. Once they started coming, it was hard to stop.

“We’re sympathy-trashing him,” Lina said. “For your sake. Doesn’t it make you feel better?”

“Not really,” Holly said.

“You should go online and X-Rate him right now,” Mads said. “Really give it to him so no girl will want to come within five
miles of him. He won’t get another girlfriend until he’s thirty!”

“That’s abusing the system,” Holly said. “And, anyway, Rob doesn’t deserve it. I don’t think. I haven’t quite sorted out my
feelings yet.”

Mads reached into the shopping bag she’d brought with her to Holly’s house and pulled out three pints of ice cream. “Let’s
get down to business. We’ve got Strawberry-Banana Happiness-in-a-Tub, Mint-Chocolate Love-Substitute, and Intense Chocolate
Brainwash to chocolatize your troubles away.”

Lina dropped
her
shopping bag on Holly’s kitchen island. “And I’ve got cheese popcorn, Cheez Doodles, and Wheat Thins, in case you get a salt
jones,” she said.

“I’ll start with the hard stuff,” Holly said, reaching for the Chocolate Brainwash. “Thanks for coming over, you guys. I was
almost on the verge of tears there, for a minute.”

“The
verge
of tears?” Mads picked up a soggy pile of used Kleenex and tossed it in the trash.

“You heard me.” Holly was playing the tough guy, though she knew Mads and Lina saw through it. It made her feel better to
pretend she wasn’t hurt.

“I still can’t believe he dumped you,” Lina said. “After all you went through with him! After he begged you to be in his sister’s
wedding—”

“—and she made you wear that heinous bridesmaid’s dress—” Mads said.

“—and you practically planned the whole thing for her,” Lina said.

“Not to mention all the swim meets you went to,” Mads said. “We
all
went to. Cheering him on like a bunch of cheer-bots.”

“Rob should be shunned for this,” Lina said. “Ostracized from the community. Like the Amish do when somebody breaks the rules.”

“It’s not that bad,” Holly said. “He has his reasons.”

“Like what?” Lina asked.

“Well, he said he was so busy with swimming—”

“Lame.”

“—and school—”

“Lame.”

“—and studying for the SATs—”

“Totally lame.”

“—and dealing with his parents’ divorce—”

“Please.”

“—that he doesn’t have time to be in a relationship right now,” Holly finished.

“Yeah? Well, who doesn’t have to deal with school and activities and parental insanity?” Mads said. “We’re all busy.”

“You have to make time for love,” Lina said.

“Well, that’s what he told me,” Holly said. “He said, ‘You’re a cool girl, I’m really into you, we’ve had fun, but I don’t
think I can spend as much time with you as you’d like, so maybe we should be friends.’ Then he played this old Bob Dylan song
I used to hear at his father’s house. You know—the one that goes, ‘No, no, no, it ain’t me, babe, it ain’t me you’re looking
for, babe’?”

“Ugh,” Lina said.

“Like father, like son,” Mads said.

“It was a total shock.” Holly’s tough-guy act was breaking down. She was getting teary again. She didn’t have the strength
to stop it. “I never saw it coming. I thought everything was fine. I thought we were in love!” She started full-on crying.
It was the surprise that bothered her the most. She’d thought she had everything under control. Then Rob pulled the rug out
from under her. That scared her. If it could happen once, would her next boyfriend do the same thing? How could she protect
herself? And worse, what if she never found another boyfriend?

Mads and Lina hugged her. Mads passed her a handful of Kleenex. “You’ll be okay,” Lina said.

“You’re better off without him,” Mads said.

“You’re too good for him,” Lina said. “You can do way better.”

“I know that,” Holly said. “But it still hurts.”

“You know what you need?” Mads said. “Nothing helps you forget a guy like another guy.”

“I don’t know,” Holly said. “I’m kind of sick of guys.”

“You’re just sick of
Rob
,” Mads said. “He represents all guys to you. But he’s just a lower form of guy. There are higher forms to be found.”

“Please,” Holly said. “What percentage of the total male population could be a higher life-form? It must be tiny, like two
percent.”

“Maybe five percent,” Lina said.

“All right, if you want to be optimistic,” Holly said. “Five percent. So out of all the guys at RSAGE, there are maybe—
maybe
—twenty good ones. And at least two of them are taken—by you.” Lina and Mads were both enjoying happy times with their new
boyfriends, Walker and Stephen. “What are the chances that I’m going to bond with one of the few higher life-forms left?”

“You could date outside of school,” Mads said. “That gives you much better chances.”

“But how will I meet a guy who doesn’t go to our school?” Holly asked. “And even if I meet someone, it takes time to figure
out if I like him and he likes me and if he’s a decent person or if he’s got bodies buried in his backyard. …” She dropped
her head on the kitchen counter and moaned. “I’m doomed. I’ll never have another boyfriend as long as I live! The odds are
just too low!”

“That’s ridiculous,” Lina said. “It feels that way now, but you’ll find a new guy before you know it.”

“What if we speed things up?” Mads said. “Like, what if you could meet twenty guys at once? Wouldn’t it be great if you could
go to a party and every guy there was available? And you could spend the whole party flirting and talking and by the time
it was over, all you had to do was choose one?”

“Sure, it would,” Holly said. “I’d also like to be Prince William’s girlfriend, but it’s not going to happen.”

“Don’t say that!” Mads cried. “I need my illusions. I’m still clinging to that one.”

“Mads is onto something,” Lina said. “We could hold our own party, singles only. You can casually see how you like the guys
without having to go on a million blind dates. And you don’t have to worry that you’re wasting time flirting with some guy
who already has a girlfriend.”

“A speed dating party!” Mads said. “You get a certain amount of time—say, ten minutes—to talk to each guy, and by the end
of the party, you get matched with the one you like best.”

“Who also likes you,” Lina said.

“No muss, no fuss,” Mads said.

“I guess it could be fun,” Holly said.

“We’ll open it up to kids from other schools,” Mads said. “You’re bound to meet a new guy that way.”

“And if you don’t, we’ll just keep having parties until you find The One,” Lina said. “It’s perfect for busy students. You’ll
only lose an hour or two a week on it.”

“Let’s do it.” Holly straightened up, some of her old moxie returning. The memory of Rob’s teddy-bear head, which had been
making her cry all morning, was fading already. “Even if I don’t meet a guy right away, it would be fun to make some friends
at other schools. The RSAGE social scene could use some new life. New parties! New people! All right! I’m psyched.”

“Yay!” Mads clapped. “Speed dating!”

“I was getting kind of sick of Rob, anyway,” Holly said. “I just didn’t realize it.”

“You’re a quick healer. I guess we won’t be needing this anymore.” Lina started putting the ice cream in the freezer.

“Hey, where are you going with that?” Holly said. “I may be on the mend, but I need to make sure I’m one hundred percent cured.
Right?”

“Absolutely,” Mads said. “Keep that Chocolate Brainwash coming.”