Authors: Patty Maximini
She giggled; partly in embarrassment, and partly because, between the two of them, she was normally the inarticulate one. Feeling abnormally brave, she took the few remaining steps that separated them.
Even in those heels she was still a few inches shorter than him. At this close proximity she could smell his cologne; the sent was spicy, woody, delicious, and very him. Emily combed her fingers through his hair placing a stray lock back into place. “You look very wow yourself.”
“I feel sorry for Marina,” he began with a smile, in complete and utter awe. “No one’s going to pay much attention to her photographs with you looking like that.”
As he led her out of the apartment, she once again giggled in embarrassment. Parked outside of the building entrance was a polished black sedan with chauffer he’d requested to take them to the gallery.
Having something important to discuss with him before they arrived at the party, Emily felt glad to have a driver and Taylor’s undivided attention. Her discomfort at the idea of discussing the important yet unpleasant subject was clear in her face and made her fidget with everything from the clasp in her clutch to the leather of the seat. She looked at the city booming with light and life outside the car window in an attempt to gather her thoughts enough to utter the necessary words.
From her side, she could feel Taylor’s eyes on her even before his hand touched the soft curl of her hair or his voice reached her ears.
“Are you okay, Ems? You look tense,” he said, his voice filled with apprehension.
She took a deep breath wondering how could he, in such a small period of time, know and read her so well. “I’m fine. It’s just that I need to talk to you about something before we get there.” Her voice displayed a bravery she didn’t feel.
An agreeing okay was all he could offer. Her words got him even more concerned than he already was. Bending one knee over the seat, he turned his body towards her, allowing for no doubt that she had his undivided attention.
“You don’t need to be so tense, it’s just a heads up sort of thing,” she assured him, not liking the tension she saw in his eyes. Taylor nodded and let out the breath he was holding as he continued to watch her.
She took in a deep breath, attempting to chase away the fear, and decided to jump right into it. “We don’t really have time for the whole story right now, but before we get to the party, I need you to know something.” That was all she could utter before her voice failed. Her unspoken words burnt inside her throat, and the threatening tears did the same to her eyes.
Remembering was already bad enough, but combined with the fear that he might not understand or think badly of her made the whole thing unbearable. She’d only had this conversation one time before, with Zack and Jody, but they’d been friends for a lot longer than Taylor and her.
His hands took hold of both of hers. He held them tightly and brought them to his chest, right over his heart. The tips of her fingers skimmed the bare skin at the opening of his shirt. She looked from their hands to his expressive brown eyes. They were so comforting and safe and reminded her of his past words,
“Whatever it is, we can talk about it”
“All I want is to get to know you, to understand you, and be there for you in any way you need.”
That reassurance was all she needed.
Drawing strength from him, she began, “Well, I’ve already told you that I don’t date, and you’ve seen me be uneasy around men, right?” He nodded and she continued, a little embarrassed. “What you don’t know is the why.” She took a deep breath before continuing with a sad smirk. “I had a series of . . . mishaps involving people I trusted, especially men. That’s why I don’t get involved or trust people, other than my very small circle.”
Anger ran through Taylor. “What kind of mishaps?” he asked through clenched jaws.
Emily shook her head, dismissing his question. He gave her a stern look and asked the question once again, this time a bit more demanding. She saw that, behind the question and the anger, was worry, a deeper worry than she’d ever seen in anyone’s face, with perhaps the exception of Charlotte.
With a knot in her throat, she pushed the words out. If he cared enough to worry like that, he deserved the truth. “The nasty kind, Tay,” she said in a sad tone, and saw fire burn in his eyes. Before he had a chance to say anything else, she continued, “But I don’t want to ruin the evening by talking about that. I just brought it up because you need to know that I hate when people touch or get too close to me. I’ve even panicked a few times recently. It’s worse with men, but it applies to women as well; that’s why I hate public events.”
Taylor was still seeing red, but he finally understood and felt honored that she trusted him enough to mention it. As much as he wanted to press the subject and ask more questions, he also wanted to respect her limits. Because of that, he pushed his anger aside and stuck to what mattered. “Okay, I get it. That’s my job then; I’ll make sure that people don’t get too close to you. Is there any contact that is acceptable?”
“I can handle handshakes. I don’t like them, but I can bear them. Kisses or hugs, even air kisses, are a big no. And dancing in really crowded spaces makes me anxious.” She shrugged.
He smiled at her and nodded. “There won’t be a dance floor tonight, but it’s good to know.” As he continued, his expression changed. He could see how nervous she was, and he wanted her to relax. “I’m not comfortable with other people kissing and hugging you either, so I’m glad we agree on that. And with you looking that beautiful, I’d already planned on keeping you glued to my side the entire night anyways, so just stick your hand out when I introduce you to people and we’re going to be fine.”
Emily felt like she could cry. “Thank you, Tay.” She meant her words so much more than she could express, as her appreciation for him reached a new high. Between his promise and the meaning hiding behind them, he was almost too good to be true.
He offered her his most honest smile. “I have two things I need to ask before we drop the subject, though.”
She imagined he would have a few questions and she dreaded them, even before he asked. Discussing her gory past minutes before a party wasn’t in her list of favorite things, but she was determined to tell him the truth. “Fire away.”
“This is more of a request, really. I would like you to tell me about the mishaps—not now, but someday. Whenever you’re ready, I’d like to know about them.”
In the seconds that followed she considered his request. Never in her life had she talked about that in detail to anyone. It was all too sad and too embarrassing and too personal to be discussed. Besides, she had endured more than her share of people using personal information she volunteered to hurt her, and repeating past mistakes was something she avoided at all costs.
But Taylor was different. The way he looked at her went beyond the kindness and care she saw in her two other friends. It was a kind of devotion and respect that was so profound, Emily sometimes felt as if he could see inside her soul and share her feelings. In a way, she felt the same for him, which made Taylor the one person she wanted to bare her soul to. That knowledge made a smile spread across her lips. “Okay, I’ll tell you.”
“You will?” he asked stunned, he expected her to put up a fight or refuse and yell at him for being nosy.
Emily let out a few giggles. “Yes, but not now. It’s a long story—too long, actually, and since I’ve never told anyone, I need to think about how to do it. But I promise to do it soon.” Making that promise wasn’t half as scary as she’d thought it would be.
He looked at her with those soul-seeing eyes, and a shy smile she had never before seen on his face. “You’ve never talked about this to anyone, not even the twins?”
“Which twins?” she asked confused.
He rolled his eyes at how obvious the information was. “Zack and Jody, the cake twins.”
Emily’ laughter bellowed through the car. It was the first time she’d heard him calling their friends that, and she thought it was hilarious. “I love that, but technically, we’re triplets. And no, they know the short highlights version. The only person who knows everything is Charlie, and that’s just because she lived through most of it. You’re the first person to whom I’ve volunteered the whole thing.”
Her answer was just more fuel to the next question in his mind. “That brings me to my second question. You said you hate to be touched or hugged or kissed, though you’re okay with me doing all of those things. You never shared the mishaps with anyone, not even the two people closest to you, yet you promised to share it with me. Why?” The seriousness in both his tone and eyes stressed how much her answer meant.
As Emily considered every possible reply to his loaded question, she stared at her hand, sandwiched between his hard chest and strong hands, and marveled at how good his warm skin felt on hers. A small smile spread across her lips when she thought that the answer she was seeking lied in something he’d said to her.
“On Saturday, when I asked you to tell me about the gallery and your family, you said that normally you wouldn’t talk about it, but that I was an exception to all of your rules.” Her words were followed by a smile and a light shrug of her shoulders. “It’s the same for me. There’s something about you that makes you an exception. I want you to know everything there is to know about me, even the shitty things that are hard to say. I can’t tell exactly why you—I think we’ll discover the reasons for it together, but I can tell you that I don’t ever want to keep anything from you. That’s a promise. Whatever you want to know, all you have to do is ask. No secrets.”
As unusual as it was for Taylor to be left speechless, that’s exactly how he felt: speechless and stunned. Not trusting his words and without sparing a thought, he pulled her into his arms and held her as tightly as he could. She didn’t hesitate in throwing her own arms around him and returning his hug.
The car slowed down in front of the gallery and Taylor whispered in her ear. “You are the best thing to ever happen to me, and I look forward to sharing my life—past, present and future—with you. No secrets.” After a kiss to her hair he parted their hug, opened the door and helped her out.
Taylor placed her hand in the crook of his arm and led her inside the building. Being part of the staff, they’d arrived about an hour before the time set in the invitation. Even without the guests, the place was buzzing with people. The caterers were setting the mirrored high tables and instructing the waiting staff and gallery employees, leaving everyone in a frenzy, working on last minute details.
“Finally, Taylor,” a shrieking voice screamed as soon as they stepped on the floor. “I need you, now.”
Just like a nightmare bursting their happy bubble, Kimberly walked up to them in a white pantsuit that would have been impeccably tailored, if not for the large portion of her breasts that were showing through the lapels and a barely-there navy cami that matched her shoes. Without even acknowledging Emily’s presence, she began reciting the list of things she needed Taylor’s help with. The unease in his eyes at leaving her on her own was clear.
“It’s okay Tay, go do your job,” she said. Hesitation didn’t leave his eyes.
She didn’t want him to leave her, either, but he was working and she had to respect that. Trying to reassure him, she put on her best smile and ran her fingers over the scruff on his cheek. “I’ll be fine. It’s pretty empty here, anyways. I’ll walk around and look at the photos before they are too crowded. Just don’t take too long, okay?”
They held each other’s gaze for a few seconds, hesitant brown staring at determined blue. “Fine, I’ll be as fast as I can and then you’re glued to me, okay?” he agreed with a locked jaw.
The two friends nodded each other before Taylor turned and walked away, following Kimberly.
Alone, Emily walked deeper into the grand room of the gallery. Pictures in simple yet tasteful dark wooden frames covered the brick walls. Their sizes varied from very large posters to smaller ones, arranged as compositions.
Emily didn’t know a lot about photography. Having always thought of pictures as keepsakes of the past, she’d never stopped to admire a photo as an art piece, with perhaps the exception of the ones in Taylor’s apartment. However, even to her untrained eyes, the pictures were fantastic. Someone with more training might comment on the light or the angle, but to her, the beauty was in the feeling and soul behind each image. It was like they could speak to you and tell a story.
She walked the length of one of the walls, admiring the different photographs, until one in particular caught her eye.
A large iceberg stood alone, separating the calm waters of the ocean and a clear sky. In the middle of the ice was a penguin, isolated from its group by a few feet. Kneeling in front of the animal was the dark outline of a plump man with wild hair and bushy beard. Their positioning gave the impression that the penguin was kissing the man’s forehead.
In Emily’s eyes, the beautiful image was so packed with emotion that it nearly brought tears to her eyes. The setting was, without a doubt, the most peaceful place she had ever seen—but, on top of that, the exchange between man and animal was filled with a deep sense of love and respect that made her grateful to be witness to it.
Completely lost to the silent conversation happening in the photograph, Emily only noticed the person standing to her right when a heavily accented voice broke through her reverie. “Beautiful, isn’t it?”