Experiment in Terror 06.5 And With Madness Comes the Light (11 page)

I grabbed Roman by the front of his
sweatshirt and brought him right up to my face.

“You’re going to fix her,” I snarled, my
eyes piercing into his. “She’s a lot stronger than she looks. She
is still in there and you’re going to help her, or so help me
God.”

“You’ll need your God if you think you’re
going to win this battle,” Roman said. He exchanged a measured look
with Bird and then gave me short nod. “Okay. Let’s see what we can
do. Just, please release me.”

Just like that, huh? That seemed a bit too
easy. Still, I took my hands off of his sweatshirt and backed off.
I shot Perry a quick glance, wishing that she could know what I was
trying to do for her, and walked around the car, trying to control
my emotions. It was getting to be too much now. We were so close.
So damn close.

I could hear Roman and Bird talking to each
other in their native tongue as they looked over Perry and I could
only hope that Bird was doing what he could to encourage him. Ada
was standing by the rancher, wringing her hands together, looking
like she was going to lose it at any minute. Poor girl had gone
through so much. I regretted bringing her along for her own sake,
though she saved my ass a bunch already.

“Hey,” I said to her as I stood beside her.
“You okay?”

She nodded even though it was quite obvious
that we weren’t okay. We couldn’t be further from being okay. We
were down and out and struggling to hold onto hope, hope that was
currently looking over Perry like she was a lab specimen.

“Bird will help us,” I told her. “He won’t
give up on her. You’ll see.”

Ada bit her lip, blinking fast.

“And neither will we,” I added. I reached
down and grabbed the cold, tiny hand of Little Fifteen and tried to
give her the strength that I sure as fuck lacked.

She squeezed back, her eyes wet as she
looked at me, pleadingly. “But what if we can’t save her? What if
it’s too late? What if it’s all for nothing and we lose her right
here in the middle of nowhere?”

I could tell she was having doubts now,
doubts about bringing Perry all the way here when maybe she would
have been better off at home. Doubts about trusting me, assuming
that I knew best. I’d be lying if there wasn’t a part of me that
was wondering the same thing.

“We’re going to get through this,” I told
her, wishing I could make us both believe it. “All of us.”

A monstrous groan came from the car as our
attention went back to it. Roman and Bird had a wriggling Perry in
their arms, carrying her toward us in a hurry.

I kept the rusted door to the house open as
they took her inside. I could feel the waves of animosity rolling
off of Perry’s body, the hate, the need to win and destroy
everything she was inside. It felt colder than the winter wind that
was whipping through the sunshine, blanketing us with a sense of
defeat.

Ada and I followed close behind, navigating
through the small house. It totally looked like a single dude lived
here, though, aside from a room that looked like a grow-op, it was
hard to tell that the single dude was also an exorcist. Maybe I
expected more native, medicine man-type artifacts, but the place
was pretty bare, with a lot of dust floating in the air.

They took Perry into a large room with just
a bed in the middle and an armchair in the corner. There was a
pretty bad ass painting of a raven on the wall but it didn’t look
very homey or lived in. Still, it was better than a hospital. It
had to be.

I began to take that thought back after they
placed Perry down on the bed and Roman brought three leather straps
out from under her.

“What are you doing?” I asked, taking a step
toward him.

Roman ignored me and went around to the
other side, pulling out three more straps. Then he leaned over
Perry and started strapping her down, across her chest, hips and
legs.

“Is that really necessary?” I exclaimed,
about to pounce on him. This was no better than a hospital at
all!

Ada reached out and dug her long nails into
my arm, pulling me back.

“You know it is,” she said quietly, her eyes
warning me.

Damn it. She was right. Of course she was
right, we had her covered in duct tape—in fact she still was. We
had to do what was necessary and Roman was no different. But it
didn’t mean I had to like it.

Roman took out a pocket knife and snapped
the blade out. Ada gasped from beside me but he quickly took the
knife and sliced it down Perry’s middle. I winced as he did so,
afraid that if she moved violently at the wrong moment, she would
get hurt. But Roman was quick and soon she was free from her duct
tape prison.

“I won’t rip it off,” he said to her. “I
know it would hurt you, still.”

“I hope you’re talking to Perry,” I
said.

Roman gave me a grave look. “I am. I can see
she’s there, too. But you both must understand that I may have to
hurt Perry at some point.”

Wait a dipshit minute here. I didn’t agree
to
that
.

“What? No!” Ada protested for the both of
us. “You don’t hurt her. You hurt what’s
in
her.”

Roman frowned, eying the both of us with
frustration, sticking the knife back in his pocket.

“Sometimes you don’t have a choice,” he said
matter-of-factly.

“Is that what happened with the last boy,
the one who died?” I found myself saying, the fury in my voice
surprising me.

Roman’s eyes grew cold at what I said. Ah
shit. Stupid move, Dex. Way to insult the only man who can save
her.

“I barely touched the boy,” he said,
pronouncing his words with deliberation. “He would have died
anyway. I did get the demon out and that’s what counts. Do you
think it’s easy to see that happen? He was only four. I had to move
towns; everyone was saying I did something wrong. But I didn’t. The
damage was already done when he came to me. It was too late.”

Beneath his anger at me, I could feel the
regret and sorrow in his voice. I felt like shit for being so
callous. Tension cloaked us as I tried to think of something to
say. Luckily Bird came back into the room holding a large box which
he placed in front of Roman.

He gave me and Ada a stern,
shape-up-or-ship-out
look. “If Roman seems cold, it’s
because he has to be. The medicine man can have no emotional
attachments to the person in question. He can have no fear. Evil
preys on fear. It feeds on emotions. Even love.”

Roman started lifting things out of the box.
But I wasn’t interested in the contents. I was interested in Perry.
Because she was watching me.
She
was. Her head was lifted
and her eyes were on mine and I was drowning in their depths, not
caring if I’d ever come out of them, because, for once, they were
her eyes. She was still here. We had a fighting chance.

Then, just like that, I lost her again.

Bird and Roman brought out a small drum,
incense holders, little wooden bowls and bags of earth-colored
herbs and a bunch of dried plants. Roman looked up at Ada and I and
said, “We have to set up for the ceremony. You will have to leave
the room.”

I shook my head. “I don’t think so.” Like
hell I was going to leave her now, not when she was so close to
coming back. What if my presence was helping her?

Then again, what if my presence was making
her worse? I didn’t want to think about that one.

Bird got up slowly and placed his hand on my
shoulder. “I know you care about her. But she’s not going anywhere
for now. We have to cleanse the room. Then you can come back
in.”

Roman said something to Bird in the native
language and Bird nodded sharply before looking back me. “Please?
We must hurry.”

I couldn’t argue with Bird. With a sigh, Ada
and I left the room together. We gave Perry one last look, trying
to tell her we’d be back to fight with her, before Bird closed the
door on us.

CHAPTER EIGHT

We weren’t really sure where to go, what to
do. Ada leaned against the door, trying to hear what was going on
but I went down the hall and flopped down on Roman’s sagging couch,
the springs creaking under me. There was no way I could listen to
what was going on inside, without knowing exactly what it was. It
would be too painful to make my own conclusions in the dark. I
could only put what little faith I had left into Bird. I had to
hope for the best. I had to have hope, even when hope seemed
impossible, eaten away by the darkest monster.

Eventually, Ada came over. She sat beside me
and put her head in her hands. I rubbed her back lightly, not sure
if there was even a point in trying to comfort her. I sure as hell
couldn’t be.

“What does it sound like?” I asked.

She shrugged. “Nothing too bad. I don’t hear
Perry, just Roman and Bird chanting some stuff.”

I nodded, glad it wasn’t worse. I fished
some Nicorette out of my pocket and popped the last two pieces in
my mouth, chewing away like it was going to save my sanity.

We didn’t say much to each other. There was
nothing we really could say. Talking seemed futile. Thinking seemed
useless. I just stared over her white-blonde head and out the
hole-covered screen door, to the back yard that seemed to stretch
on forever in hills of dust and light. Yesterday I had been having
pizza with Rebecca, thinking I’d never see Perry again. Now, I was
with her, but her soul was far away. It didn’t seem fair. It didn’t
seem easy. All the back and forth between us, all our struggles
with each other and with ourselves and we still weren’t fixed. We
were still both terribly broken, and for once, it seemed like Perry
was the one beyond repair.

After what seemed like forever, Roman opened
the door and stuck his head out into the hall.

“You can come back in now,” he said,
retreating back inside.

Ada and I exchanged an anxious glance and
got to our feet. The room now was completely black with the shades
drawn tight and a bunch of smelly smoke lingered in the air.

Ada coughed and waved it away from her
face.

But Roman was quick. “No,” he said, firmly
grabbing Ada’s hand in mid-wave. “Don’t move it. It is to help us.
Breathe it in. It will help purify you both.”

I did as he said, hoping that a lungful of
sage and whatever else it was would be as good for me as a
cigarette. Christ, I could have killed for one.

He shut the door behind us and told us to
stand at the foot of the bed. We both approached Perry with
trepidation as he went to the other side of her. She looked no
worse than before, but also no better.

Roman kept his eyes on Perry as he said to
us, “Tell me how this all started.”

I gave Ada a look. I was a late party to
this whole thing. She nodded, knowing it was her responsibility,
and stepped closer to Roman, going over everything that happened
from the start. It hurt to hear it all over again.

When she was done, Roman turned to me.

“And where do you come in?”

I cleared my throat, feeling like an idiot
for being on the outside. “The little one called me. I was the only
one who believed what was wrong with Perry.”

“What was Perry’s state of mind before all
of this happened?”

I opened my mouth but had no idea what to
say. How was Perry? How did I leave her? She had been ruined, just
like me. We’d ruined each other and left the other one for
dead.

Ada was watching me, her blue eyes sparkling
hotly. She was
not
amused.

“Perry’s state of mind?” Ada repeated. “She
was emo as shit.”

Yeah, it was going to take a while before I
was out of the doghouse.

Ada came up to me and stuck her pointy
finger underneath my chin, her nail digging in uncomfortably. “This
asshole broke up with Perry. Broke her poor fucking heart right in
two. I’m only tolerating him because he was the last chance we
had.”

Right. So now I knew it for sure. She was
relying on me because she had to. She dug her finger in deeper,
emphasizing her point, and my eyes went to the floor. Shame didn’t
quite explain it. She thought this was all my fault. Everyone now
knew this was all my fault. The floor seemed to wave underneath my
gaze but maybe that was the water in my eyes.

“I see,” Roman said slowly and with a heavy
sigh.

“Yeah,” Ada continued, “basically slept with
her and ditched her, used her...”

“Hey, okay, wait a minute,” I said, stepping
away from her lethal tips. “That’s not exactly what happened.”

She glared at me with all the condemnation a
teenage girl could muster (which, by the way, is a lot). “Oh yeah,
perhaps you better explain what happened. Why Perry cried in her
room for days wondering what the hell went wrong. You weren’t
there. You didn’t have to help her day in and out, hoping that one
day she’d come out of it and realize what a goddamn asshole you
are. You didn’t see the way you left her. You didn’t have to help
her pick up the pieces.”

She looked at Roman with persuasion. “Plus,
there was the whole him getting her pregnant and miscarriage
thing.”

Boom
.

I was sucker punched right in the heart.
Right in the motherfucking heart. It stopped. My lungs stopped.
Everything stopped, hanging in the room with those words.

Miscarriage.

Pregnant.

Miscarriage.

Pregnant.

I had gotten Perry pregnant? I…I…no…

No. It couldn’t be.

I brought my eyes to Perry and saw her
there. Saw her sadness. Saw her truth.

There were no words. There was nothing.

I had gotten her pregnant. She had been
pregnant with my child.

For two seconds my heart could have burst
with such happy heat. For the unimaginable, undeserving,
unbelievable concept that Perry had a life inside of her that was
both hers and mine. The one thing I’d always wanted but never dared
to dream. It had happened. It was ours.