Explosive Passion (3 page)

T
he fire cast a faint glow over the room as it began to die down, as the fire died so did their need, leaving behind exhaustion. Wynn lay cuddled against Boom’s body, her hand lying across his chest, holding him close while her mind screamed for her to run. Giving in to desire for one night with him was supposed to relieve her longing for him. Instead, it already wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

No! One night, that’s it.
She wouldn’t put herself through what she witnessed so many military spouses suffer through. It was no life worrying that he wouldn’t come home, or waiting by the phone for him to call, or at the computer for an email. That wasn’t something she could do. She needed a man who would be there with her, by her side, not off fighting against things that go bump in the night.

She had done one-night stands in the past and each time it released sexual tension, rejuvenated her, and allowed her to put sex on the back burner for the time. With Boom, it did the complete opposite: she wanted more of him in every way.

“What’s on your mind?” His fingers rubbed down her arm.

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to work.”

“What isn’t?”

“This.” She forced herself to stop tracing the lines of his abs and leaned up on her elbow. “One-night stands; it’s about sex and then both people go about their lives. They don’t lay here and cuddle.”

“What would you prefer? We each go to our own place in the cabin? Maybe I sleep in the kitchen?” He smirked. “But if I may say something without making you angry…you were the one cuddling with me.”

“What?” Surprised, she raised an eyebrow at him, but realized he was right and went to pull away.

“Not that I’m complaining, but your naked body was pressed against mine.” He closed the distance she had put between them. “You’re the one that said tonight only, not me.”

Pressing her back against the corner of the sofa, the wood digging into her skin, she tried to ground herself. “You agreed.”

“Only that I’d have you tonight.”

“You conceded, bastard!” She tried to pull the blanket from him so she could get up without baring her nakedness to him again.

“I asked you before to let me show you what I could give you. Tonight was the first part and I’m not giving up now. What are you so afraid of?”

She let her head fall back against the cushion, trying to figure out the best way to answer his question. She wanted to tell him she wasn’t afraid, but that wasn’t the case, she was terrified she’d give him her heart and he wouldn’t come back.

“Living here, surrounded by so many military families, dealing with Ace and Lucky’s careers, I’m all too aware of the dangers.”

“Ace and I were made for this, it’s what we’ve wanted all our lives. Nothing’s going to happen to us.”

“Bullshit.” She squared her shoulders, refusing to let her emotions control her. “One of the missions could be the last, leaving me heartbroken and alone. I can’t do that.”

“Yet, yesterday you stood by while your best friend did that very thing, and you gave her your blessing.”

“Ace is a stubborn man. He’ll come back to her. He wouldn’t let some terrorist stand between him and Gwen, not now when they just found each other again.” Jealousy teased through her with the knowledge that Gwen and Ace had something that she wanted, but was denying herself.
No, Boom isn’t the right one. Someday the right man will come and I’ll have it too.

“As would I.”
He placed his hand over hers. “We do this job to protect America, to keep you safe, to allow our children to be born into a world where they don’t have to fear what might happen. We want to make this country safe, so that we don’t have a repeat of nine-eleven or any of the other disasters that have happened. Don’t you want your niece to be brought into a world where she can live free and safe?”

“I get why you do it and I admire it. Ace, Lucky, you and the rest are my heroes. You risk yourself so that others can enjoy life without truly understanding the dangers that surround us.” She reached out and cupped his cheek. “I just don’t want my heart broken.”

He tipped his head into her hand and kissed her palm. “Sweet cheeks, I’m not going to break your heart.”

Everything in her wanted to believe his words. She wanted to believe that he’d always come back to her, no matter what he faced, but it scared the hell out of her.

“Wynn,
I’ve never wanted a woman the way I want you—like a lit match in a powder magazine. Give us a chance.”

“I can’t.” She tugged the blanket tight against her. “I need a man who will be there; one I can snuggle against each night. Being with a military man is like being single half the time.”

“But the other half is like being newlyweds. It makes up for any time away.”

“It’s not like you’re normal military, where you deploy for six months to a year. Your deployment rotation is faster than other branches; even when you’re not deployed, you’re still not actually home. Most of your training isn’t done here.” She glanced toward the fire. “You’re just gone too much.”

“That’s not something I can change but the time we’re together will be unbelievable.” He ran the back of his finger along her jawline. “Wouldn’t that make up for what time I’m gone?”

“Please, Jared…you’re an amazing man, but I just can’t.” She shook her head over and over, as if it would solidify the decision in her heart.

“I’m not going to stop fighting for you.”

Unable to handle it any longer she slipped past him, grabbed her clothes, and headed to the bathroom. She needed to get away from him before he wore down her resistance further. Tears sprang to her eyes, and she fought to keep them from falling.
I can’t do this…not with him.

A
fter getting dressed, Wynn snuck out the back of the house. With nowhere else to go, she stood on the small porch at the back of the cabin, trying to gather herself. The sex had been amazing, better than she could have hoped for, and that’s what made it so much harder. She wanted what Gwen had. She longed for and searched for it, but had never found it.

In the past few weeks of actually getting to know Boom, one amazing evening of sex and she couldn’t get him off her mind. He could give her everything she wanted, except himself; that, she’d only get part-time. The military would always have the other half. All these years she said she wouldn’t make that sacrifice. She already did when it came to her brothers, she wouldn’t do it with her husband. Now for the first time she wondered if her rule was standing in the way of her happiness.

Could a relationship with Boom really work, even with him gone so often? Or would resentment at being left alone eventually set in? Between designing the latest fashions for her boutique and running the shop, she was busy. She needed a man who would understand her creative whims and wouldn’t fuss if she spent all night in her studio or slipped out of bed in the middle of the night because an idea came to her that she had to get down on paper.

The future could get even more hectic with the latest offer she received. Just three days before the wedding she got the offer of a lifetime. Not wanting to steal the spotlight from Ace and Gwen, she kept it to herself. Plus, it was best to wait until the ink dried on the contract before official announcements were shared. Then they could really celebrate, before the real work set in.

She shook her head as the realization of what she wanted sank in. It wasn’t fair that she expected her man to accept her career when she couldn’t accept his. If he was military and she cared for him, then she should accept it. How could she expect someone to do it for her if she wasn’t willing to do it for them? Relationships were give and take, if she wanted to explore where things could go with Boom she’d have to accept his choice of careers.

“It’s too cold for you to be out here without something warmer on.” He wrapped a blanket around her shoulders.

She took hold of the blanket so it wouldn’t fall onto the wet porch and turned to face him. “I didn’t hear you come out.”

“I came around the front, because I checked the car first. When I didn’t find you in the bathroom I thought you’d taken refuge in the car out of the howling wind.”

“I didn’t even think about it.” The wind picked up and her body shivered against the assault. “I just needed a few minutes to get my thoughts together.”

“I figured. You’ve been out here twenty minutes. It’s time to come in before you catch your death. If you want me to stay in the car, I will.”

“What makes you think I can’t handle the cold but you can?” Her sadness turned to anger, and it showed in her voice.

“It’s cold but not the worst weather I’ve had to deal with by far. I’d survive.” He held up his hand, stopping her as she started to say something. “This has nothing to do with you being a woman, so don’t pull that card with me. You’ve never had to deal with the shit I have, my body is used to it. I barely feel the cold any longer. Now, please come inside.”

With one last glance up at the darkening sky, she nodded. “I wouldn’t make you sleep in the car.”

“I never thought you would, but I offered.” He laid his hand on the small of her back and led her to the door. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Stepping into the warmth, she realized how cold she was. Her teeth chattered and her hands shook. “Come sit with me by the fire.” Too cold to wait to see if he followed, she dashed forward to the warmth of the fireplace.

Without a word, he followed her, keeping a little bit of distance between them. He sat down on the chair furthest from the fire.

Damn did he look fine sitting there like he didn’t have a care in the world! The heather gray sweater was pulled tight across his chest, showing off the contours of his abs, and she wanted to run her hands over them again. She forced herself to stay where she was, her gaze on the fireplace away from his perfect body.

“Outside I realized something…” She took a deep breath and forced herself to continue. “I work crazy hours, sometimes all night or for days at a time, only crashing for an hour or two. If I expect someone to accept that then I should be willing to accept their job. Don’t get me wrong, your job is dangerous and I don’t like it, but I should at least try.”

“What are you saying, Wynn?”

“I don’t know what’s between us or where it could go but I could try to explore it.” She glanced back at him. “The occasional times I’ve seen you I’ve always wished you weren’t a SEAL, then I could allow more than just indulging in flirtation. These past few weeks while we’ve been helping to plan the wedding for Gwen and Ace I’ve seen a whole different side to you, one that goes deeper than flirtation; I want the chance to explore it, to see where it could lead.”

He leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. “I told you before I’m not going to stop fighting for you. If you take this next step you better be ready for the real thing.”

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. “I guess I am.”

“I’m not saying it’s going to be easy, and some days are going to be an uphill battle. You might even ask yourself why the hell you’re doing it. However, I promise you that every chance I get I’m going to prove to you how amazing things can be between us. On the bad days I want you to remember all the good times we have together.”

“I’ll try.” Her heart raced and doubts rushed through her mind.
I must be crazy, breaking my one rule for relationships.

“Doubting yourself already?” She glanced at him, her eyebrow raised, and he added. “Your body went rigid. It’s a clear-cut sign of doubt or fear. In your case, I think both.”

“Maybe a little, but didn’t you say you’d make it worth it?” she taunted.

“I did.” He stretched his long legs out in front of him and rose.

“Where are you going?”

“Wedding snacks. Get comfortable, I’m going to make this a night you won’t forget.”

The way the words rolled off his tongue made her wonder what he had in mind. With her sweater falling to just past her upper thigh, she slipped out of her damp jeans and back onto the makeshift bed. She’d make tonight count and take tomorrow as it came. Ace’s words echoed in her head.
Tomorrow’s never guaranteed…