Exposure (7 page)

We spent Christmas apart. That was tough.
My mother would have thrown a fit if Suzanne and I weren’t there, and Nathan
had been unable to see his family at Thanksgiving and said he’d better go home.
I think he missed them. I couldn’t wait for him to return.

As the January premiere for Nathan’s first
movie grew closer, he was back in Britain, and Paula and the publicity people
pulled out all the stops. Suddenly, he was everywhere, a household name. He
lapped it up, and I hated it.

One Saturday I joined him in London after
he’d been at the TV studios. I wanted to find a present for my mother’s
birthday, never an easy thing, and Suzanne was no help whatsoever.

“Just get something, and I’ll give you
half,” she said.

She did that every year.

Nathan said he’d help me. That was good. If
I told my mother he had helped choose the gift, there would be nothing wrong
with whatever I picked. She could tell all her friends Nathan had helped choose
it.

The streets were busy. The tail end of the
sales were still drawing in the crowds. Even in the first department store I
knew it was a mistake for Nathan to go shopping with me. Everywhere we went,
along with the cash registers jangling, there was a buzz of “Isn’t that Nathan
Waite?” “I saw him on TV last night. He’s that guy in the movie out next week,”
and there were flashes from phone cameras too. Some people didn’t care how rude
they were being.

“Sorry, Mel,” he said, when he saw how
upset I was. “Do you hate me being out there so much?”

“I just don’t want to share you, that’s
all. I hate that everyone thinks they have a piece of you now.”

“None of those people has a piece of me.
Every little bit belongs to you. Let’s go outside or I might have to kiss you
right here in the middle of Selfridges and make a scene, and you wouldn’t like
that.”

It was snowing a little outside, but I was
happy to leave the heat and the throng of people. He hailed a cab, and told the
driver to take us to the Savoy.

“I booked a room,” he said. “Before I left
the studio.”

“I didn’t bring any clothes.”

“You won’t need clothes for what I have in
mind.”

I looked at him, my heart skipping a beat,
all thoughts of shopping forgotten for the moment.

He had booked a suite with a view of the
Thames and the London Eye, the room decorated in Edwardian style. The marble
bathroom was the picture of luxury. Unbelievable. I didn’t dare ask how much it
cost. I think he wanted to show off that we could go there on the spur of the
moment without caring about the room rate. He knew I would spend the night
there, clothes or no clothes, just because he asked me. And in any case, we
were in London. I could buy anything I needed if it came to that.

“Lots of space here,” he said, and winked
when we got into our suite, “but we could just watch TV if you like. I’m sure
there’s a match on...”

“Nathan!” He was teasing. He never bothered
with soccer. Or rugby. I hadn’t seen him all week.

“I think we should get room service,” he
said. “I might need a sandwich or something.”

“Nathan!” I wanted him to kiss me, to take
me to bed. Soccer and sandwiches were the last thing on my mind, and I knew
they were the last thing on his.

“Oh, you want something else?” he said.

“Yes. I want you.”

“You got me, baby. You had me at hello, as
they say in the movies,” and he kissed me hard and deep, pulling at my clothes
until they lay on a heap on the floor and I was naked in the living room of the
suite. It felt so wanton to be standing like that in such luxurious
surroundings, as if I should be better behaved because everything was so
tasteful.

The lights from the London Eye twinkled.

“Do you think they can see me from over
there?” I asked.

“Not unless you can see them.”

I could see nothing, just the cars going
around on that big wheel.

“Imagine they can see you though. The whole
of London outside that window can see you and you’re going to be thoroughly
fucked for their pleasure.”

He ran his finger slowly down my body from
my throat to the cleft between my legs and lingered there, stroking softly, his
eyes gleaming with mischief, his touch making me feel decadent yet feminine,
playing me like an instrument.

“I want to hear you moan,” he said. “I want
to hear you moan and then I want to hear you cry out when you come. I’ve missed
that all week.”

“You’ve got to work for it first. I don’t
do sound effects on demand.”

“Don’t you? Not when I do this?” He bent me
over an arm chair, my breasts against the soft cream covering, and spread my
legs. He knelt behind me and lapped at me with long slow strokes of his tongue,
until I was mewling into the chair, my breath hitching.

“Not quite there yet,” he said, “but what
about if I do this?” He entered me with his thumb, his fingers on my clit,
massaging me inside and out. I think I moaned then. I’m almost sure I did. I
was so close.

“And this. What if I do this?” and he
pushed his cock inside me, making me forget everything except how he filled me
up so completely.

“The whole of London can see you,” he said,
powering into me from behind, over and over. “The people on the Eye, the people
in the street. They can see you bent naked over that armchair taking my cock.
They’re watching you. They’re enjoying your body just like I am.”

“Come for me,” he said. “Let them see you
come.”

I lost it then, calling out his name as he
continued to drive into me until he came himself. I lay there panting over the
chair, and he adjusted his clothes and picked me up from there. I was naked
again while he still looked respectable, the bad boy who liked to keep me naked
for his pleasure.

“I’m going to shower with you and wrap you
in a robe, and then really order some food this time,” he said.

The shower was big enough for two. We used
the beautifully scented products the hotel had set out for us, and luxuriated
under the hot running water. I could have stayed in there all day wrapped in
Nathan’s arms given the harsh winter weather outside.

I thought we might make love again in the
shower, but we were both sated right then. Nathan was quiet. I wondered what he
had on his mind.

Out of the shower, he wrapped me in a big
soft bath towel and wrapped a smaller towel around my hair before drying
himself off with his own towel.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you,” he said.
“Do you want to get married?”

“
What
?” I could hardly believe what
I was hearing. We hadn’t even known each other a year. I was in love with him
and I knew he loved me. He said it often enough, I think to reassure me because
of all the pictures around of him with other women. But to know he wanted to
stay together forever was something else.

“You’re supposed to say ‘yes’ not ‘what,’”
he said, laughing.

“Oh, Nathan, yes, more than anything,” I
said.

We dined in the suite on steak and champagne
and toasted our future. And that night he made slow sweet love to me in the big
Savoy bed, pure unadulterated vanilla sex, the kind we rarely had these days,
so it had become a novelty in itself.

The morning after he proposed, Nathan decided
I was to go to the London premiere with him.

“Won’t Paula and your publicity people
mind?” I knew she liked Nathan to be seen as young, free and single. She
thought there would be more fans that way.

“I don’t care what they think. I want you
there.”

Paula was irritated by his insistence that
I go when he called next day. I was still lying in bed glowing, wondering where
my clothes were that Nathan had pulled off the day before.

She was even less happy when he told her we
were getting married.

“You know she asked me, ‘Couldn’t you wait
until you had another movie or two under your belt?’” he said, “but fuck all
that waiting. Why should we? It’s only a movie. I like being famous, but not if
it stops me marrying you.”

“I could stay away from the premiere if it
keeps her happy.” If I was honest, the whole event terrified me anyway.

“No way. You’re going whether she likes it
or not. I want you by my side for my first movie. I don’t want the premiere to
be a sham for the media.”

“But I’ll look like a freak with Sadie and
Katherine all decked out in their finery.”

Nathan’s co-stars hadn’t given me the time
of day in Scotland.

“You’re beautiful, Mel. You can hold your
own against any of those actresses.”

He was talking a lot of bullshit, but I
liked that he said it.

“What will I wear?” I was trying to think
which of my friends had anything that I could borrow. I’d never get anything
new in time.

“Don’t worry. I’ve thought of that. I’ll
call Emma.”

Emma was one of the wardrobe assistants
from the movie. She came over to the Savoy when Nathan called her to explain he
had a special job for her if she wanted to do it.

“Hey, you’re getting married,” she said.
“Congratulations!” and gave us both a hug. I liked her.

“I brought some things. I hope they’re
okay.”

It was just clean underwear, a sweater, and
jeans that Nathan had asked her to buy so I didn’t have to wear yesterday’s
grubby clothes. She had great taste in daywear, so that was a good start.

“We haven’t got long to get something, but
I have a friend who runs a vintage clothing store. That might be good to get
something a bit different.”

The dress she picked out for me fitted me
like a glove after she put a few stitches in here and there. It was in a
delicate jade satin fabric with a hint of blue, dotted with tiny beads that
must have been hand stitched when it was made.

“Looks fabulous with the coppery tones in
your dark hair,” she said.

We found shoes to go with it an hour later.
She knew all the stores in London and half their stock.

“Thank you so much. I feel like a million
dollars in that dress,” I gave Emma a hug. “At least, it looks good from the
neck down.” I looked at my decidedly unglamorous hair and face in the mirror.”

“Oh, I know some people to help you out
there too, if you like.”

They were expensive, but Nathan said to
screw the expense. He wanted me to look my best. He wanted to be proud of me on
his arm, I think, but he said he also wanted me to feel good too. He knew I’d
be nervous and looking good meant I had one less thing to worry about.

The school had even given me the day off
work and other teachers were covering my classes so I could go up to London in
plenty of time. That was a first for my school when no one was dying.

***

 “You look beautiful,” Nathan said, just
before we got out of the limo at the premiere, a bank of photographers and fans
waiting, “Ready for this?”

I nodded and made a face. I was petrified I
would fall over. I’d never been so scared. You could have given me a class of school
kids acting up any day of the week rather than face that mob.

Yet as I stepped onto the red carpet in
Leicester Square, I knew I looked every inch the movie star’s fiancée, wearing
the dress and shoes Emma picked out for me, my hair falling in soft curls—courtesy
of her hairdresser friend Gordon—and my face somehow contriving to look both
natural and glamorous, thanks to the wizardry of a girl called Camille wielding
a million make-up brushes.

As Nathan got out the car, the crowd
erupted. It was like a sea of noise, and we were being swept along by it. The
cameras flashed. I tried to remember the tips Emma had given me about staying
calm, but it was all a blur. I just smiled and tried to walk with as much poise
as I could in my four-inch heels, holding onto Nathan’s arm to steady my nerves
without cutting off his circulation. I truly was happy for him. He had made it.

And I loved the movie and Nathan’s part in
it. Larger than life on that big screen, he looked more gorgeous than ever. He
held my hand throughout, and that helped when I had to watch him kissing his
co-star bitch Katherine. He whispered in my ear at that moment, “She had
terrible breath,” and I giggled.

I thought then we would be okay together he
and I, even if Nathan was every inch a star while I stayed well out of the
limelight. We could do that, couldn’t we?

***

But Lavinia Taylor had other ideas. As soon
as she got wind of our wedding she was onto it and my name was out there with a
picture of us together— possibly the worst picture she could have picked of me
from that night.

“Word has it that bad boy Nathan Waite
is about to tie the knot with a school teacher. I hope Melissa Hamilton has
what it takes to tame him. Here they are at the premiere of Hamish. If I were
getting married to him, I would look worried too.”

I guessed I would have to get used to that
kind of thing now. But I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit.