Authors: Killion Slade
W
hat did Roxas say
? Did he say he was afraid to meet me? Maybe I’m not so whacked after all. Could he be going through the same stuff I am?
“Girl, all I can say is you’ve got more guts than me if you’re going in that haunted house alone,” Briggs said, breaking the tension. “I’ll fight any online baddie any day of the week and kick its ass all over the screen. But to put my ass face-to-face in a freaky haunted house. Nuh uh – count me out.”
A heavy sigh escaped my lips. “I’ll be honest with you guys, I’m not crazy about doing this tonight. Most likely I’m consuming a few drinks this afternoon before I go. Hell, they say that most horror writers are whacked out on junk before they begin to write. Their inhibitions are lowered, and they can allow themselves to let the creep factor seep in and crawl out through their words.”
“Don’t worry, guys, she’ll be with me.” Dakota lightened the mood with her irresistible laugh. “I’ll protect her from any baddies in the park. Besides, we’re going to be inside a public place with security everywhere. What could go wrong?”
“Guess you’re right,” Briggs agreed. “So what are your costumes? Give me a visual, dahlin’. I want to think about you all night long.”
“You’re shameless, ya know that?” It seemed as though Dakota loved the attention. “But if you must know, I’m going dressed as Elvira, Mistress of the Night.”
Wolf whistles blasted out in the 3D stereo, causing us both to blush.
“
AND
for Miss Lady Cazenove, over here, I’ve got her suited up in an unusual costume.”
Why in the world did I ever make that bet in the first place?
“Ya’ll better be careful, sounds like the two of you are serious bait for the right fish tonight.” Briggs sent out waves of undertone in his voice.
“I’m not worried. Dakota could beat up anyone with her stilettos. I feel sorry for anyone who tries to haul her ass off. Besides, like you said, what could possibly go wrong in a public amusement park?”
“Well, don’t be counting on my spikes big, sis. You’re gonna have your own set of streetwalkers.”
I gawked at her. Laughter from the three stooges poured out of the speakers.
“You have Cheyenne wearing stilettos?” Harris guffawed. “Miss Queen of the running shoe?”
“It may be once a year, Harris, but Miss
Thang
over here cleans up pretty damn good,” Dakota defended.
“Hey, I have an idea, H. Why don’t you dress up and help me with the research tonight? I’ve got an extra cola can worth twenty bucks off the ticket admission. It’ll take you a couple hours to get here if you leave Tampa before rush hour.”
“Negatory on that one, Chey,” Harris replied. “You aren’t gonna find my happy ass in any haunted house either. I don’t care if it’s in the name of research or not. I think I’ll pass. What about Roxas? He doesn’t live too far out of town. Kissimmee, right? You two could meet and get this virtual love affair crossed over into the real world, ya know?”
My eyes bugged out of my head as the temperature in the room skyrocketed into the nineties. Or maybe it was just me.
Briggs acknowledged the bold suggestion with a, “Oooh. No he didn’t!”
Dakota’s face flushed beet red. It mimicked my anxiety. Mine must have been pure crimson from the sweat pouring off me and down my breasts. I wiped my hands up the back of my neck to remove the perspiration beading out of my hair. No towels around, I wiped it onto my jeans.
Dakota reached out for my hand, but it was too late. The words were out, and no one could deny they had been spoken.
I wanted to change the subject. I wanted to crawl under the counter and hide. I wanted to write QUEST FAILED on the screen and sign off the conference call, but I couldn’t do any of those things. We had to wait for Roxas to respond to the question.
The next time I see Harris, I’m gonna go all 1972 Hitchcock Frenzy Necktie Killer on his ass.
“You don’t have anything else to do tonight, do ya, Rox?” Harris pushed the paused silence further.
I closed my eyes and dropped my head between my knees. I couldn’t believe Harris was doing this to me. Not wanting to put Roxas on the spot, I hedged. “That’s okay. I’m gonna be real busy with Sheridan.” Afraid he would say no or worse, say
yes.
I sensed my breakfast on the verge of reverse engines.
Dakota handed me a paper bag and mimed breathing into it. I pushed it away.
“I’ve got lots of research to do on my phobias. No worries.” My voice shook with a stuttering of stops and goes. “Y-you know me, all work and no p-play.”
“Yeah, makes you an ‘ole dried-up hag.”
“Shut the hell up, Harris,” Dakota snapped.
She might be my bratty little sister, but damned if anyone ever picked on the three of us. They’d never get away with it. The O’Cuinn sisters fought to the death to protect one another. I felt sorry for the saps who would marry us one day.
Beano stood up from his bed and nudged my sweaty palm. I tried to breathe in the confidence Lady Cazenove always exuded. How would she handle this moment? The tension over the headsets seemed as thick as the humidity outside.
Why doesn’t he answer the freakin’ question?
“Bloody hell … sorry about that, Cheyenne,” Roxas said.
My heart fell into my stomach. Now I knew I was going to get sick.
“My microphone was on mute, and I couldn’t get the damn thing to unstick. I’ve been talking all this time, but you guys couldn’t hear me.”
I swallowed.
“Okay. Perhaps we could meet at the park. Around ten, maybe?” he asked.
I sat stone cold, unable to move or react to his words.
Dakota picked up my water bottle and urged me to drink. I thought she always looked funny when she bobbed her head and bugged her eyes at me to respond to people when I was at a loss for words. Was it me, or was every person on the conference call line waiting, biting their fingernails, to hear my answer? It was my turn for silence over the headsets, but I didn’t have an excuse.
Taking a drink of the water, I swallowed. Then choked out my words, “Sure. Okay, ten then. How ‘bout we meet at the …”
“Do you know where the Canadian Mountie water ride is?”
“Ah huh.” Numb, I nodded in time with my answer – brain dead and redundant all at the same time.
“Aces. I’ll meet you under the waterfalls. I’ll be the one in the vampire costume. Might even bring my katana with me.”
Cheers, whoops, hollers, and attaboys flew around us in surround sound.
A single tear trickled down my cheek when the finality of what I had agreed to do set in. I took a deep intake of air, not knowing how long I’d held my breath, and blew it out with puffed cheeks. I decided to sit on the floor and hug Beano, rocking us both back and forth for comfort.
Did I just agree to meet Roxas? At Halloween Scream Night? In stilettos?
“Well, dudes, on that note, I must whisk Caz away for the night.” Dakota, with her impeccably timed charm, called in the dogs. “We need to get dressed in our costumes and get Cinderella here ready for the ball.”
Harris foleyed kissy noises into his microphone. Briggs didn’t help matters much when he started to gangsta rap the old nursery rhyme about kissing in a tree and baby carriages.
“Padme, close conference line.”
The call terminated with Briggs at mid-sentence before he used the words marriage, Roxas, and Cheyenne in the same sentence.
I wished I had the same guts of my online avatar. Lady Caz wouldn’t have any problems meeting Roxas, but in reality, I was just plain ole Cheyenne O’Cuinn. Just another computer programming geek who loved to play games and sucked at relationships.
Harris is
soooo
dead.
“
H
ey
, Chey. That was rude. Why did you hang up on them?”
“Because I didn’t want them to hear over the mic how I am going to kill you, Harris, and Briggs for what you did to me!”
I threw off my headset and chased her through the hallway. Dakota screamed like we did when we were little girls as we ran through the rooms squealing.
We ran around the whole house, dodging corners, and skating on hallway carpets. Enjoying the animated energy in the house, Beano barked like a crazy dog.
“Oh. My. God,” we chanted.
Our laughter vibrant and contagious. My body surged with endorphins – it felt fabulous to run, laugh, and jump. My body felt more alive in the past couple minutes than it had in years. My heart ecstatic, I was going to meet Roxas.
“Oh, Chey, can you believe it? He’s going to meet you …
TONIGHT
!” She flopped on the couch. “We’ll have to go all out on your makeover. You haven’t had the works since …” She looked at me and winced. “Oh hell, Cheyenne, when have you ever had the works? We gotta to go.”
“Go where?”
“Girlfriend, you have a date with my magician beautician, Armand.”
I didn’t care if she submerged me in mud or what she dressed me up in. At this moment, this very instant, my heart sang with joy and I couldn’t wait to meet this man. I felt like Eliza Doolittle in
My Fair Lady.
A makeover? I was about to be poked, prodded, colored, curled, waxed, clipped and plucked – but pluckophobia be damned tonight. Finally, I was meeting Roxas, and truthfully, I probably needed the makeover.
* * *
B
ack from Armand’s
beauty makeover, I stared back at the reflection of my new haircut, highlights and manicure in my bedroom mirror. I hoped the red puffiness of my eyebrows would go away soon.
“Hey, Chey, what if you already are acquainted with him, ya know like on
You’ve Got Mail
with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan,” Dakota mused.
“I never thought about it, truthfully. There isn’t anyone else I know with an English accent. Why?”
“Well, Rox doesn’t live that far away from here. I know he travels a lot, but didn’t you mail that 3D holographic rendering suit to his house in Kissimmee a couple weeks ago? So, for all you know he’s the guy at the coffee shop you go to every morning. Or he’s the guy who runs the animatronics at Disney’s Country Bear Jamboree. Or … or …” Her hamster wheel turned faster than her brain computed words. “Or he even could be that guy who makes the 3D chalk drawings at Downtown Disney.”
“Or maybe he’s that creepy guy who pushes the shopping cart and talks to the swan boats at Lake Lola,” I added.
“Right? The crazy guy who yells at you to stop drowning the swans?”
We both laughed until our sides ached. I hadn’t laughed this hard in ages.
Note to self – Take more
half days off with sisters.
Dakota decided it was time to reveal my costume. She dangled the small bag in front of me again.
“What am I going to wear, a gift card or something?” I moaned at her, truly hoping it was a gift certificate to the costume shop.
Prancing around after her second cider for the afternoon, she said, “See, you’re already in character.”
“Huh? What are you talking about? Did you get me a costume for a hooker?”
Laughing out loud, Dakota said, “Sweetie, you couldn’t be a whore even if you tried!”
I wasn’t sure if that was a compliment or not. Dakota unveiled a skimpy, gauzy mummy costume.
“What the hell is that? And where does my body fit into it?” My eyes and hands examined the
thin
, flimsy fabric. Baffled, I looked at her as if she had killed one to many brain cells from her recreational drugs.
“I don’t understand. Is this a joke?” I gawked and stammered. “Is this just the accessory? Where’s the costume?”
“This
is
the costume, Chey. Look, it’s a bodysuit. You can move the gauze straps to cover the areas you want, but it still looks like you’re wearing hardly anything at all. Isn’t it bad ass? This is exactly what Lady Caz would wear to meet Roxas.”
“Unholy hell, Dakota, I wished I was Lady Caz right now. Then I might have the guts to wear this thing.”
As I tried on the mummy scraps I complained, “Are you sure you didn’t get this from the girls’ department as a joke?”
“No silly, it’s Lycra. It’ll mold to your body. What I haven’t showed you is the skirt that goes with it.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief.
Oh thank the Goddess … there’s a skirt.
She pulled out the bag with the shoes and surfaced with another small bag. The skirt looked just as miniscule as the body suit.
I looked at her with a
what the hell?
expression, but she just beamed at me, so proud of what she’d accomplished. That’s when I knew something was up. “All told, did you and Harris have this arrangement set up?”
She shook her head in a theatrical gesture and brought her hands to her chest in mock surprise. “Not us, we would never do something as devious, deceptive, and perfectly wonderful for the two of you, now would we?”
“Seriously?” I threw the eensy bits of fabric at her and fell down onto the bed. “Was Briggs in on this plot too? Sheridan? How long have you planned this?”
Beano sauntered over to the scraps of fabric, sniffed, and grabbed them up in his teeth.
“Hey, gimme that.” I rescued the mummy costume from the wrath of Boxer. I held the scraps of cloth over my body. “Where are the panties for this thing?” I prayed for boy shorts.
“Oh yeah. Here ya go.” She flung something at me that looked like dental floss with a miniature flag. No such luck on the boy shorts. Dakota put out a hand, blocking my retort. “Just do it will ya – you want to make a good impression on Roxas or not?”
“A good impression yeah, but slut wasn’t quite the effect I was going after.” I stretched the cream-colored panties over my hips and snugged the floss into place. “I’m not too keen on the crawling cord up my heinie, rubbing me raw all night.”
“All the more reason to lose them early.” She winked at me.
I pulled up the mini skirt while she helped me tack on the gauzy bandages in various places to give the appearance of being wrapped.
“I have to admit, Dakota, this costume is quite cute.”
“I liked the way it displayed on the mannequin at the costume shop. As soon as I saw it, I knew it had to be yours.”
Dakota’s cell phone rang and she grabbed it out of her bra. She’d programmed the “eee-eee-eee” from the
Psycho
shower scene as her ring tone. I looked at her sideways.
“What? Can you think of a better place not to lose it?”
I shook my head as she left the room. I already knew the contents of her underwear drawer. I did not need to learn anything more about the contents of her bra.
Dakota had returned from the kitchen with more bottles of hard cider when Sheridan arrived.
“Sheridan O’Cuinn is at the front door,” Padme announced.
“Padme, let her in please.”
Padme opened the door and closed it behind Sheridan. We heard Sheridan singsong as she made her way down the hall towards my room.
“Ding dong. Sorry I’m late. The license plates have changed color, so fall has arrived and you know what that means. All the damn snowbirds are here, and now it takes five times as long to get anywhere.”
Beano barked as Sheridan’s little Pomsky barked back at him. Stormaggedon was dressed in her ballerina outfit. When Sheridan let her out of her bag, and out onto the floor, Stormy looked awfully cute in her tutu.
“Oh, I
LOVE
it. How wicked is that?” Dakota shrilled out a greeting. “OMG, Sher – she is so adorable. Chey, why don’t you have a costume for Beano?”
I just looked at her and took another swig.
Beano and Stormy greeted one another in true doggie style. Sniffs for all my friends, and immediately Stormy decided Beano was her jungle gym, and off they went to play.
“C’mon, Sher, we’re just getting ready. Let me get you a drink.”
When I returned to the bedroom, Sheridan was asking Dakota, “How are you going to be Elvira with no boobs?”
Dakota put down her cider. She pulled out the full-length black gown from its garment bag and revealed a neckline cut to the waist complete with fake, plastic breasts and cleavage. “I wish my real boobs could pull it off in that dress.”
We all stood looking at the costume held in front of her. The fake boobies distorted Dakota’s figure so much, it seemed as if we were looking into a fun house mirror. She handed me the dress and proceeded to perform a lift and squish to her A cups to try to emulate the fake breasts.
Mashing her fists up under her ribs to create the impression of heaving bosoms, she sighed. “Why can’t I have boobs like yours and Sheridan’s? Why did I get the short end of the titty stick?”
“Isn’t that what Victoria’s Secret is? To produce boobs where none have existed before? I think you have pockets sewn into your bras just to hold everything in there to make them look bigger.” I teased her and put the dress on the bed and handed Dakota’s cider back to her.
“How did you know?” Dakota punted back at me.
Laughing, we stood gawking at each other in front of the mirror. It was a moment where I wished my eyes could take a photograph because a camera would have ruined the moment. It was rare that all three of us got together much anymore. We really needed to spend more sister time with each other.
Sheridan said, “Hey, remember when we used to play dress up in Mom’s clothes, turn on her old Elton John records, and dance to
Crocodile Rock
?”
Almost if on cue, we put down our drinks, wrapped our arms across the tops of our shoulders, and walked the monkey walk in our high heels until we fell down and laughed ourselves silly on the bed.
It felt good to laugh again. It had been too long … for all of us. This was truly a rare moment for us since Mom had died.
“What is your costume, Sheridan?” Dakota jumped up on her knees. “How are you possibly going to outdo yourself from last year?”
“Uh, uh uhn.” Sheridan waggled a finger in front of us. “You’re not getting my surprise out of me. You’ll see tonight once you get into the park. You won’t believe your eyes.”
I sat there looking at them both, gaining more and more awareness that I was going to meet Roxas soon.
Dakota touched my shoulder. “So are you nervous about tonight, Chey?”
“I think I’ve puked up everything I’ve eaten today, I’m so riddled with nerves.”
“There’s nothing to worry about. You guys have seen pictures of each other. He’s a hottie, so there’s nothing to worry about.”
“Yeah, I know. But he’s fallen in love with Lady Caz.”
“Uh huh.” Dakota, looked at me sideways.
“I’m just nervous he won’t have the same affection after meeting the
real
me.”
“Seriously? Are you listening to yourself? One – you’re the spitting image of your avatar, and B – you don’t think he’ll adore you?”
I could tell Dakota had already been shooting the Irish whiskey between ciders since her outlining skills were already confused.
“Look, I’ll level with you. I suck at relationships. I’m not sure I’m ready for this. I’m the type of woman who gets all sloppy when I let a guy into my life.”
Sheridan sat up on the bed. “I remember that last guy you were all up into. What was his name again?”
“That’s not important. But you understand. Remember, I stopped working out. All my spare time went into him instead of into myself. My programming time decreased. It just wasn’t healthy.”
Dakota said, “Yeah, but you gotta admit, all workie and no nookie can’t be healthy either, Chey.”
“Don’t get me wrong. Lord knows, I sure could use a decent shag. There’s only so much fantasizing a girl can do alone, but how can I ever tell Roxas how he makes me truly feel?”
“What if he doesn’t feel the same way about me?”
Sheridan grabbed my hand. I looked at her with a half smile.
“I don’t think I can handle that kind of rejection from him after all this time together online.”
Dakota clinked her bottle against Sheridan’s. “Look at it this way. If the relationship doesn’t work out, you get the satisfaction of firing his ass.”
I rolled my eyes at her.
Sheridan flopped back on to the bed. “I completely get what you’re saying, Chey. Ever since we started this company, I haven’t had a decent date.”
Dakota and I both looked at her.
“Well, think about it. Daddy lives with me, and it seems like every guy I know has a full-blown dossier already filled out on me. They’re more interested in how much money the company makes than just being with and caring for me.”
I reached out to her. “I’m sorry, Sheridan. I didn’t know it’d been that hard for you.”
“So I totally get that you guard your heart, Chey. ‘Cause it feels like I’ll never find that one guy who doesn’t need my money, has a cool life of his own, and only wants to take care of me and not my bottom line.”
Dakota and I looked at each and grimaced. Here I was moaning about meeting the love of my life, and she has had no life.