Authors: Morris Gleitzman
In the car on the way to the Manchester United match, I suddenly remember that Uncle Cliff is still banned.
âIt's not fair,' I say. âAn uncle shouldn't miss a match like this just because of a sausage sizzle.'
In the front, Mrs Jarvis and Uncle Cliff swap a smile.
âNo need for concern love,' says Mrs Jarvis to me.
âI'll be right, Bridie,' says Uncle Cliff. âI've got my guardian angel with me. She knows important people in high places. By their first names.'
Hearing me mention the sausage sizzle has made Mrs Jarvis amused all over again.
âClub nutritionists would have had kittens,' she chuckles. âLow-fat kittens, but kittens.'
âThey were gourmet sausages,' says Uncle Cliff indignantly. âPork and peanut.'
âNot a good idea, Cliff,' says Mrs Jarvis. âIf one of the lads was allergic he'd go into anaphylactic shock and his lungs would seize up.'
Uncle Cliff gives Mrs Jarvis an adoring look. Then he glances at Matt.
âHow you feeling, Matty?' he says. âReady for your big chance?'
I glance over at Matt. He nods. He doesn't look too nervous, which is good.
âI had a big chance once,' says Uncle Cliff. âIt was the open-mike number at a Stones tribute gig. I could have joined the back-up singers on “You Can't Always Get What You Want”. Paula would have been majorly impressed. But I chickened out and she gave her Skype log-in details to the lead singer.'
We all stay quiet for a bit.
âDon't torture yourself, Cliff,' says Mrs Jarvis after a while. âIt probably would have happened anyway.'
We stay quiet for a bit more.
âI'm not going to chicken out,' says Matt suddenly. âSo you don't have to worry.'
âWe know you won't, Matt,' says Mrs Jarvis.
âYou'll be brilliant,' I say.
I don't say brilliant at what. I'm hoping it'll be skill.
When we arrive, Mrs Jarvis jumps out and chats with the security guard at the gate.
They look like they know each other.
âSorted,' says Mrs Jarvis to Uncle Cliff when she gets back into the car. âI explained to Brian I'll have a word with Neal Merchant about your ban.'
âYou're amazing,' says Uncle Cliff.
After we park, Mrs Jarvis walks straight over to Mr Merchant at the edge of the under-fifteen pitch. By the time me and Uncle Cliff get there, she's still talking and he's not getting a word in. But he doesn't look cross. Probably because the Aussie media are filming us all.
âI'll let you go now, Neal,' Mrs Jarvis is saying. âI'm sure you want to have a word to the ref about keeping a lid on things today.'
I know what she means. Not letting the players get too violent.
âThanks, Stella,' says Mr Merchant with a thin smile. âYou might want to have a word to certain members of your party about keeping a lid on things too.'
He looks at me and Uncle Cliff.
I know what he means. Us not running onto the pitch or having illegal barbecues.
âAlways nice to talk, Neal,' says Mrs Jarvis sweetly.
Mr Merchant nods and walks off.
âHe's lucky I didn't give him a Liverpool lump,' says Uncle Cliff, flexing his neck muscles.
âI think you mean a Liverpool kiss, Cliff,' says Mrs Jarvis. âA Liverpool lump is a cake.'
âIs Uncle Cliff unbanned?' I ask.
âSorted,' says Mrs Jarvis.
Uncle Cliff gazes at her. I think he's in love.
The teams come out, Manchester United first. They look pretty tough. And big. More like under-sixteen than under-fifteen. A bit like the orange team back home, except smarter and much more talented and no dog bites.
Then Matt comes out with his team. I'm so thrilled and proud to see Matt wearing the shirt of such a famous club. But I'm also feeling a bit nervous in the tummy about what Manchester United will do to him once they see how good he is. And what he'll do back to them.
I give Matt a little wave, so he can see how proud I am. He sees me and waves back.
âGo Matty,' yells Uncle Cliff.
âUse your skill,' says Mrs Jarvis quietly.
She smiles at me and I smile back.
But Matt doesn't use much of his skill at first. At first he just does some careful tackling and passing, and puts up with being held and turned and bashed into. I think he feels a bit nervous about playing against such a legendary team.
Then, about twenty minutes in, he starts being mesmerising. At first it's mostly to protect himself, gliding and dancing the ball past the roughest Man U defenders, his feet going like those casters on fridges that can go in any direction.
For a bit the Manchester United players have trouble grasping the idea that somebody is getting past them so often. But then they do and they start going for Matt big time.
They can't touch him. He's just too fast and skilful.
âGood boy,' says Mrs Jarvis.
âDance like a butterfly, sting like a bee,' yells Uncle Cliff.
I think that must be a Rolling Stones song.
At first Matt doesn't score himself. He sets up chances for other people, specially Ayo. They're good chances, but Man U are very good defenders and none of the chances come off.
When Matt says bad luck to his team-mates, they don't even look at him. Except Ayo, who gives him a tiny nod sometimes.
Then Manchester United score. A good build-up with some very fast passing, a long through-ball and a superb finish.
This changes things for Matt, I can tell from the shape of his shoulders.
A few minutes later, he beats two players on the edge of their penalty area and sees the rest of the Man U defenders moving into position, which is what a class side will always do. Matt turns away from them and for a while he's dribbling towards his own goal. Until he turns again and shoots all in one movement. The ball blurs over everybody's heads and dips into the top corner of the goal before their goalie can move.
People just stare at him.
Our players, their players, our trainers, their trainers, our family members, their family members. Even the big black birds in the bare trees look stunned.
At half-time, as Matt trots off towards the changing rooms, I wave and he gives me a little one back.
He doesn't look very happy.
I don't understand. Matt is playing brilliantly. He's scored and he's using his skill to avoid bruises. Why isn't he pleased?
âHe doesn't look very happy,' says Uncle Cliff. âIs he pooing regularly?'
I think it probably isn't that, but I don't know what it is.
Then in the second half I do.
For the first fifteen minutes after the break, Matt goes back to setting up chances for the others. And this time he makes them even better chances. Ayo scores. So does another of our boys.
Threeâone to us.
After both the goals Matt goes to congratulate the scorer. Both times they ignore him, even Ayo.
It's exactly the same problem. We've talked about it after training matches, me and Matt, and he says he understands how everyone's anxious about being the one. But now it's happening again, he looks even more unhappy.
I can see him losing interest in the match. He hardly touches the ball for ages.
âMatt,' yells Uncle Cliff, waving his arms. âCome on. What's wrong?'
âHe looks like a very disappointed young man to me,' says Mrs Jarvis quietly.
I agree with her.
âWell he doesn't have to be,' says Uncle Cliff. âIf he's disappointed in himself he can do something about it.'
âI don't think he's disappointed in himself, Cliff,' says Mrs Jarvis. âI think he's disappointed with what's happened to top-level professional football in the first part of the twenty-first century.'
Uncle Cliff thinks about this.
âMatt,' he yells. âCome on. Don't let top-level professional football in the first part of the twenty-first century get you down.'
I don't know if Matt hears this, or if it's something else that sparks him, like the elbow in the head he gets from one of his own team as they're jumping for a high cross.
But suddenly Matt is on fire.
Not in a good way.
A Manchester United midfielder is dribbling and Matt runs at him and tackles him.
Hard.
The boy drops like a mattress, and Matt goes sprawling. But it's legal because Matt played the ball not the man. Legal, but Mum would be horrified. Matt and the Man U player are both looking dazed as they get up. I can hear Uncle Cliff's leather jacket creaking with tension. I'm glad he wasn't videoing that bit on his phone.
âGo easy,' mutters Uncle Cliff.
I agree. We both have faith in Aussie leg pins, but there are plenty of other parts of Matt that can get hurt.
Matt doesn't go easy. He throws himself into tackles again and again. He's like a wallaby bouncing off a herd of elephants.
Then another high cross comes in and lots of the boys jump for it. Except half of them can't get off the ground because the other half are holding them.
Including Matt.
I can't believe it. He's got two big fistfuls of another boy's shirt.
Soon after, he turns somebody, jabbing his knee behind theirs so they drop to the ground.
I feel a bit sick.
But not as sick as I do a few minutes later when Matt goes sprawling after missing a big tackle.
The Manchester United boy holds out a hand to help him up.
Matt knocks it away.
His angry face makes me want to cry. Mrs Jarvis looks pretty upset too. Uncle Cliff looks bewildered.
âWhy's he playing like this?' says Uncle Cliff. âMaybe he's homesick. Have there been any signs? Has he been calling out the names of Australian TV shows in his sleep?'
I shake my head.
But in a way, I realise, Uncle Cliff is right.
It's not Aussie TV Matt's missing. It's something even more important. The thing he had every day on our patch of waste ground at home. The thing he doesn't have here, not even when we're winning threeâone.
The thing that makes soccer worth playing.
After the match the trainers and coaches are delighted, and Matt's the player they make the most fuss of. I don't think it's just because we won. I think they like the way he played.
When Matt comes over to us, he's got a big grin.
âThey want me to play in the next match,' he says. âThey want us to stay longer in England. At least another week.'
For a moment I don't know what to say.
Then I throw my arms round Matt to share his joyfulness.
So does Mrs Jarvis.
I hug Uncle Cliff as well.
âRock 'n' roll,' says Uncle Cliff. âI'm over the moon about this.'
âActually, Cliff,' says Mrs Jarvis, âif you were over the moon, the atmospheric vacuum would make your brains come out your ears.'
But she lets him hug her as well.
Uncle Cliff is right. This is the moment when Matt's family should rejoice with him.
But I can't get rid of a feeling deep in my guts. Something heavy and not-good. An out-of-control cattle truck type feeling.
I take a big breath and try to ignore it.
But I can't.
Because I know the awful truth.
If Matt keeps playing like this and makes it through to the first team, it won't be his legs that are permanently damaged by top-level professional football in the first part of the twenty-first century.
It'll be his gentle loving heart.
It's the middle of the night when I creep into Matt's room.
I don't knock.
This is too important and too urgent.
Matt is curled up in bed. The pale light from the street lamp is coming in through the curtains. It makes him look dead.
The door squeaks.
Matt opens his eyes and peers at me, blinking.
âYou alright?' he says.
âI've been thinking,' I say.
He pats the doona. I don't sit down. Some things you say better when you're standing up.
âWe have to go home, Matt,' I say. âBefore it's too late.'
Matt sits up, staring at me sleepily.
âBefore what's too late?' he says.
âEverything,' I say. âAll this.'
âWhat are you talking about?' he says.
âTop-level professional football in the first part of the twenty-first century,' I say. âWhat it's doing to you. It's turning you into somebody else.'
Matt doesn't say anything.
For a few moments I think he's going to agree with me.
I'm wrong.
âIt's not doing anything to me,' he says. âFew bruises, that's all. No problem, I've got reinforced legs, remember? Anyway, what was it Uncle Cliff said that time he hurt his back trying to walk like Mick Jagger? No pain, no gain.'
âLet's go home, Matt,' I say. âJust come home and be with me and Mum and Dad.'
âThat's stupid, Bridie,' he says. âI'm doing this for them. And you. For all of us.'
âDo you want to end up like Gazz?' I say.
Matt frowns.
Before I can tell him all the reasons I don't want him to end up like Gazz, he jumps out of bed and glares at me.
âYes, I do,' he says. âGazz's parents live in a six-bedroom circular house with a fabulous view of the Essex marshes. Ken told me.'
Matt doesn't get it.
âGazz is really unhappy,' I say. âEven unhappier than he would be if he was in prison with Terrine's brother.'
Matt looks puzzled.
That didn't come out right.
âListen, Bridie,' says Matt. âIf you're homesick and you want to go home, that's OK. We'll tell Uncle Cliff. He'll take you.'
I stare at him, shocked.
âNo way,' I say. âMy place is with you.'
âI'll be fine,' says Matt. âBut I think you'll be better off at home.'
âI'm not leaving you,' I say. âI'm your manager.'
Matt gives me a sad smile. Then his face goes serious and determined again.
âNot any more,' he says quietly. âYou're fired.'