Eye of Flame (2 page)

“
Eye of Flame
,” taking place in the long-vanished Mongolian culture, manages to bridge that formidable gap in time and locale, making that society accessible and genuinely comprehensible to the reader, so that the behavior of the fascinating people in the story makes contextual sense. This, believe me, is very difficult to pull off—anachronisms and current social issues have an unnerving tendency to try to creep into the tale. Pamela Sargent is able to take the time on its own terms, and to accept the characters as part of their time and culture, without apology or softening the rough parts.

To top it all off, she slings the language around acrobatically but not interferingly, letting her style serve the story instead of the other way around. She has a fine sense of internal rhythm, particularly in characterization. Her writing is vivid and generous but not intrusive—and although I don’t want to contribute to any confusion between writer and work, in this vivid, generous, non-intrusive way, her work is very much like Pam herself.

Read and enjoy. But take a little advice from me: don’t wolf all of the stories down at once. Savor each one. You’re not likely to find better literary nourishment anywhere.

Chelsea Quinn Yarbro

June, 2003

The Broken Hoop

There are other worlds. Perhaps there is one in which my people rule the forests of the northeast, and there may even be one in which white men and red men walk together as friends.

I am too old now to make my way to the hill. When I was younger and stronger, I would walk there often and strain my ears trying to hear the sounds of warriors on the plains or the stomping of buffalo herds. But last night, as I slept, I saw Little Deer, a cloak of buffalo hide over his shoulders, his hair white; he did not speak. It was then that I knew his spirit had left his body.

Once, I believed that it was God’s will that we remain in our own worlds in order to atone for the consequences of our actions. Now I know that He can show some of us His mercy.

I am a Mohawk, but I never knew my parents. Perhaps I would have died if the Lemaîtres had not taken me into their home.

I learned most of what I knew about my people from two women. One was Sister Jeanne at school, who taught me shame. From her I learned that my tribe had been murderers, pagans, eaters of human flesh. One of the tales she told was of Father Isaac Jogues, tortured to death by my people when he tried to tell them of Christ’s teachings. The other woman was an old servant in the Lemaîtres’ kitchen; Nawisga told me legends of a proud people who ruled the forests and called me little Manaho, after a princess who died for her lover. From her I learned something quite different.

Even as a child, I had visions. As I gazed out my window, the houses of Montreal would vanish, melting into the trees; a glowing hoop would beckon. I might have stepped through it then, but already I had learned to doubt. Such visions were delusions; to accept them meant losing reality. Maman and Père Lemaître had shown me that. Soon, I no longer saw the woodlands, and felt no loss. I was content to become what the Lemaîtres wanted me to be.

When I was eighteen, Père Lemaître died. Maman Lemaître had always been gentle; when her brother Henri arrived to manage her affairs, I saw that her gentleness was only passivity. There would no longer be a place for me; Henri had made that clear. She did not fight him.

I could stay in that house no longer. Late one night, I left, taking a few coins and small pieces of jewelry Père Lemaître had given me, and shed my last tears for the Lemaîtres and the life I had known during that journey.

I stayed in a small rooming house in Buffalo throughout the winter of 1889, trying to decide what to do. As the snow swirled outside, I heard voices in the wind, and imagined that they were calling to me. But I clung to my sanity; illusions could not help me.

In the early spring, a man named Gus Yeager came to the boarding house and took a room down the hall. He was in his forties and had a thick, gray-streaked beard. I suspected that he had things to hide; he was a yarnspinner who could talk for hours and yet say little. He took a liking to me and finally confided that he was going west to sell patent medicines. He needed a partner. I was almost out of money by then and welcomed the chance he offered me.

I became Manaho, the Indian princess, whose arcane arts had supposedly created the medicine, a harmless mixture of alcohol and herbs. I wore a costume Gus had purchased from an old Seneca, and stood on the back of our wagon while Gus sold his bottles: “Look at Princess Manaho here, and what this miracle medicine has done for her—almost forty, but she drinks a bottle every day and looks like a girl, never been sick a day in her life.” There were enough foolish people who believed him for us to make a little money.

We stopped in small towns, dusty places that had narrow roads covered with horse manure and wooden buildings that creaked as the wind whistled by. I remember only browns and grays in those towns; we had left the green trees and red brick of Pennsylvania and northern Ohio behind us. Occasionally we stopped at a farm; I remember men with hatchet faces, women with stooped shoulders and hands as gnarled and twisted as the leafless limbs of trees, children with eyes as empty and gray as the sky.

Sometimes, as we rode in our wagon, Gus would take out a bottle of Princess Manaho’s Miracle Medicine and begin to sing songs between swallows. He would get drunk quickly. He was happy only then; often, he was silent and morose. We slept in old rooming houses infested with insects, in barns, often under trees. Some towns would welcome us as a diversion; we would leave others hastily, knowing we were targets of suspicion.

Occasionally, as we went farther west, I would see other Indians. I had little to do with them, but would watch them from a distance, noting their shabby clothes and weatherworn faces. I had little in common with such people; I could read and speak both French and English. I could have been a lady. At times, the townsfolk would look from one of them to me, as if making a comparison of some sort, and I would feel uncomfortable, almost affronted.

We came to a town in Dakota. But instead of moving on, we stayed for several days. Gus began to change, and spent more time in saloons.

One night, he came to my room and pounded on the door. I let him in quickly, afraid he would wake everyone else in the boarding house. He closed the door, then threw himself at me, pushing me against the wall as he fumbled at my nightdress. I was repelled by the smell of sweat and whiskey, his harsh beard and warm breath. I struggled with him as quietly as I could, and at last pushed him away. Weakened by drink and the struggle, he collapsed across my bed; soon he was snoring. I sat with him all night, afraid to move.

Gus said nothing next morning as we prepared to leave. We rode for most of the day while he drank; this time, he did not sing. That afternoon, he threw me off the wagon. By the time I was able to get to my feet, Gus was riding off; dust billowed from the wheels. I ran after him, screaming; he did not stop.

I was alone on the plain. I had no money, no food and water. I could walk back to the town, but what would become of me there? My mind was slipping; as the sky darkened, I thought I saw a ring glow near me.

The wind died; the world became silent. In the distance, someone was walking along the road toward me. As the figure drew nearer, I saw that it was a woman. Her face was coppery, and her hair black; she wore a long yellow robe and a necklace of small blue feathers.

Approaching, she took my hand, but did not speak. Somehow I sensed that I was safe with her. We walked together for a while; the moon rose and lighted our way. “What shall I do?” I said at last. “Where is the nearest town? Can you help me?”

She did not answer, but instead held my arm more tightly; her eyes pleaded with me. I said, “I have no money, no place to go.” She shook her head slowly, then released me and stepped back.

The sudden light almost blinded me. The sun was high overhead, but the woman’s face was shadowed. She held out her hand, beckoning to me. A ring shone around her, and then she was gone.

I turned, trembling with fear. I was standing outside another drab, clapboard town; my clothes were covered with dust. I had imagined it all as I walked through the night; somehow my mind had conjured up a comforting vision. I had dreamed as I walked; that was the only possible explanation. I refused to believe that I was mad. In that way, I denied the woman.

I walked into the town and saw a man riding toward the stable in a wagon. He was dressed in a long black robe—a priest. I ran to him; he stopped and waited for me to speak.

“Father,” I cried out. “Let me speak to you.”

His kind brown eyes gazed down at me. He was a short, stocky man whose face had been darkened by the sun and lined by prairie winds.

“What is it, my child?” He peered at me more closely. “Are you from the reservation here?”

“No. My name is Catherine Lemaître, I come from the east. My companion abandoned me, and I have no money.”

“I cannot help you, then. I have little money to give you.”

“I do not ask for charity.” I had sold enough worthless medicine with Gus to know what to say to this priest. I kept my hands on his seat so that he could not move without pushing me away. “I was sent to school, I can read and write and do figures. I want work, a place to stay. I am a Catholic, Father.” I reached into my pocket and removed the rosary I had kept, but rarely used. “Surely there is something I can do.”

He was silent for a few moments. “Get in, child,” he said at last. I climbed up next to him.

His name was Father Morel and he had been sent by his superiors to help the Indians living in the area, most of whom were Sioux. He had a mission near the reservation and often traveled to the homes of the Indians to tell them about Christ. He had been promised an assistant who had never arrived. He could offer me little, but he needed a teacher, someone who could teach children to read and write.

I had arrived at Father Morel’s mission in the autumn. My duties, besides teaching, were cooking meals and keeping the small wooden house next to the chapel clean. Father Morel taught catechism, but I was responsible for the other subjects. Winter arrived, a harsh, cold winter with winds that bit at my face. As the drifts grew higher, fewer of the Sioux children came to school. The ones who did sat silently on the benches, huddling in their heavy coverings, while I built a fire in the woodburner.

The children irritated me with their passivity, their lack of interest. They sat, uncomplaining, while I wrote words or figures on my slate board or read to them from one of Father Morel’s books. A little girl named White Cow Sees, baptized Joan, was the only one who showed interest. She would ask to hear stories about the saints, and the other children, mostly boys, would nod mutely in agreement.

I was never sure how much any of them understood. Few of them spoke much English, although White Cow Sees and a little boy named Whirlwind Chaser, baptized Joseph, managed to become fairly fluent in it. Whirlwind Chaser was particularly fond of hearing about Saint Sebastian. At last I discovered that he saw Saint Sebastian as a great warrior, shot with arrows by an enemy tribe; he insisted on thinking that Sebastian had returned from the other world to avenge himself.

I lost most of them in the spring to the warmer days. White Cow Sees still came, and a few of the boys, but the rest had vanished. There was little food that spring and the Indians seemed to be waiting for something.

I went into town as often as possible to get supplies, and avoided the Indians on the reservation. They were silent people, never showing emotion; they seemed both hostile and indifferent. I was irritated by their mixture of pride and despair, saw them as unkempt and dirty, and did not understand why they refused to do anything that might better their lot.

I began to view the children in the same way. There was always an unpleasant odor about them, and their quiet refusal to learn was more irritating to me than pranks and childish foolishness would have been. I became less patient with them, subjecting them to spelling drills, to long columns of addition, to lectures on their ignorance. When they looked away from me in humiliation, I refused to see.

I met Little Deer at the beginning of summer. He had come to see Father Morel, arriving while the children and I were at Mass. He looked at me with suspicion as we left the chapel.

I let the children go early that day, watching as they walked toward their homes. White Cow Sees trailed behind the boys, trying to get their attention.

“You.” I turned and saw the Indian who had come to see Father Morel. He was a tall man, somewhat paler than the Sioux I had seen. He wore a necklace of deer bones around his neck; his hair was in long, dark braids. His nose, instead of being large and prominent, was small and straight. “You are the teacher.”

“Yes, I am Catherine Lemaître.” I said it coldly.

“Some call me John Wells, some call me Little Deer. My mother’s cousin has come here, a boy named Whirlwind Chaser.”

“He stays away now. I have not seen him since winter.”

“What can you teach him?”