F Paul Wilson - Secret History 02 (20 page)

           
He felt a compulsion to keep
talking, to keep the silence at bay.

           
"But if I remember correctly
from
Sybil
, don't most multiple
personalities have abused childhoods?"

           
Immediately Ed knew he'd said the
wrong thing. Kara slammed her glass on the table and was on her feet, glaring
at him. Her face was livid.

           
"It never happened! Never!
Don't you dare say that about my father!"

           
Ed
was stunned.

           
"What? I didn't—"

           
"Get out! Get out of
here!"

           
Ed stumbled to his feet and Harris
rose with him.

           
Harris said, "Maybe you'd
better…"

           
"Yeah."

           
Harris walked him away from the
table. He turned to him at the door.

           
"Let me have your card,"
the detective said. "I may want to call you."

           
Ed's bladder suddenly wanted to
empty.

           
"Why?"

           
"There are still a lot of
unanswered questions about Kelly Wade. Maybe you can answer a few."

           
"Sure," Ed said, fighting
the urge to run.

           
He fumbled out a card and shoved it
into the detective's hand, hoping he wouldn't notice how his hand trembled.

           
Harris glanced at it then slipped it
into his pocket.

           
"Great. We'll be in
touch."

           
And then Ed was out in the hall,
slowly fleeing for the street, wondering how he would explain to his office why
the NYPD was calling him. He cursed himself every step of the way.

           
Shit-shit-shit!
You're in deep shit, Ed! And you deserve to be in deep shit. Because you're an
asshole, Ed! Only a primo five-star flaming asshole could get himself into a
mess like this!

           
"You can go, too," Kara
told Rob as he closed the door behind Ed.

           
He turned and stared at her. She was
still standing by the table, looking as if she was going to come apart. He
couldn't leave her like this.

           
"Can I finish my drink
first?"

           
"Sure."

           
He slipped into his chair again and
took a small sip. He'd have to nurse this one. Finally, Kara slumped back into
her own chair. She ignored her drink and stared at the wall.

           
"What's wrong, Kara?"

           
"Nothing."

           
"Want to talk about it?"

           
"No."

           
He rattled the ice in his glass.
"You didn't ask me over here just to tell me that Kelly had a multiple
personality. You could have told me that on the phone. If you want to talk,
I'll listen. If you need a friend, I'm here."

           
Kara continued to stare at the wall,
but Rob noticed tears gathering in her eyes. She spoke without looking at him,
and her voice was so full of pain that he felt his own throat begin to
constrict.

           
"He says our father molested us
as children."

           
Rob was numb for a moment. He'd
never met Kara's father. He died before she came to
New York
.

           
"Good Lord, is that… is that
true?"

           
"No!" she said through her
teeth. "Never!"

           
"Then what's the problem?"

           
Kara went through her conversation
with Dr. Gates almost word by word. Rob listened with growing alarm, piecing
together the picture, sensing what was coming and not wanting to hear it.

           
Finally, toward the end, Kara seemed
to run out of steam. To spare her further torture, Rob finished it for her.

           
"So you're afraid you might
have a second personality, too, this 'Janine,' hiding inside of you."

           
Kara shrugged. "Yes and no. I
know Ingrid was lying about my father, I just know it! But
do
I know it? I don't know what I really know anymore! Am I talking
complete nonsense or does any of that make sense to you?"

           
Rob reached out and put his hands
over hers. She didn't pull it away.

           
"It makes sense. I just don't
know how to help you. I wish I did."

           
She got up and walked past him. A
few steps and she was in the living room. Rob turned in his chair to watch her
as she sat on the sofa with her hands clamped between her knees.

           
"I've got to know, Rob. I can't
go through the rest of my life not knowing. I'm a mother. For Jill's sake, if
not my own. I've got to know if I'm okay inside. I mean, am I all one piece or
is there a time bomb named 'Janine' ticking away in my head? I've got to
know!"

           
She looked so miserable, so
tortured. Rob went over and sat next to her.

           
"What about hypnotism? Didn't
Gates say that's how he found this Ingrid inside of Kelly?"

           
She nodded. "Yes, but…"

           
Rob waited.

           
"Rob, I'm so scared!" she
said.

           
Instinctively, he slipped his arms
around Kara and pulled her against him. She buried her face against his
shoulder. Her voice was muffled.

           
"I've got to know, but I want
it to come out all right. I mean, what if Ingrid was telling the truth? God,
what if there
is
a Janine inside of
me?"

           
"Don't you think you'd
know?"

           
"Kelly never knew until Gates
discovered her other side. What'll I do?"

           
Rob thought about that. He tried to
put himself in her place. What would be best for her?

           
"I look at it this way,"
he said slowly. "If you take a chance and it turns out something's there,
it'll be painful, painful as all hell, but at least you'll know where you stand
and you can start dealing with it. The way it is now, you're nowhere. And
you'll remain nowhere until you have some facts to steer by."

           
"Will you come with me?"
she said after a long pause.

           
That sounded as if she'd made up her
mind.

           
"Of course."

           
"I mean, will you sit there
with me while I get hypnotized?"

           
A shiver darted through Rob. That
could be an eerie scene if there really was another personality inside Kara.
But he realized that he wanted to know too.

           
"I guess so. If he allows
it."

           
She lifted her head but remained
leaning against him.

           
"Oh, he'll allow it, or I'll
find someone else!"

           
"You don't trust him?"

           
"I don't know him well enough
yet to let him get me alone in a room and hypnotize me and then later tell me
what I said and did! Uh-uh!"

           
"I hear you. I'll be
there."

           
"Thanks, Rob. Do you think you
could drop me at Ellen's? Jill and I are staying there."

           
"Sure."

           
They sat in silence for a while.
When Rob glanced at Kara, he saw that she was sleeping. For the first time
since he had seen her last week, her face looked relaxed, free of grief and
trouble. The way it should be.

           
He slipped his arm from around her
and eased her head down onto one of the throw cushions, then he lifted her legs
and stretched her out on the sofa. Her sweater slipped up in the process,
revealing a band of smooth white skin above the waist of her slacks. Rob felt a
surge of desire, an urge to slip his hand under that sweater and cup one of her
breasts. He remembered Kara's breasts, their perfect size, the rosy nipples,
how he'd fondled and kissed them and—

           
This was no good. He turned away and
hunted up a blanket. He threw it over her and then retreated to the kitchen
where he smoked a badly needed cigarette. He looked up Ellen's number in
Kelly's phone list and called her to explain the situation. The older woman
seemed to understand and said she'd tell Jill.

           
Rob decided to stay the night. He
didn't want Kara to wake up alone in this place.