Fading Away (Hardest Mistakes #1) (5 page)

CHAPTER 6

Kai

Sam is obviously going on another date. I don’t remember her ever saying anything about it last Friday; all I remember is finding her upset when I came home. I assume she was crying because she found me missing. A horn sounds and she looks over at me as she opens the door. Uncertainty flashes in her eyes as she leaves. Don’t worry; I’m not going anywhere this time.

After they pull away, I sit at the window and gaze down at the backyard. How did I become human last time, maybe there’s a trick to it? I’ve been trying all week but nothing has worked. I close my eyes and try to remember how it felt to have hands again, how it felt to walk on two feet. The pain slams into me and I go down. Yes! It’s working. The blackouts are getting shorter. Before long I stand on wobbly legs and stumble into Sam’s room, looking for something to cover myself with. The closest I can find is a large trench coat in the back of the closet. It doesn’t fit properly, but it will have to do. I throw it on and leave the apartment.

I walk down one of the main streets of town searching for a clothing store. I’m not sure I should chance going home again and running into Serena. I have the collar up, half covering my face so no one recognizes me. What happens if I change back again? I shiver, the wind is ridiculously cold. I turn the corner and come up with a dead end. There’s a couple at the end of the alley arguing. I feel like I’m intruding, so I turn away. Wait a minute; I think I recognize the coat Sam was wearing when she left.

Sammy

I don’t know why I even gave this idiot another chance. We didn’t even make it to dinner this time. Alex pushes me into a side alley as we exit the car.

“You’re nothing but a tease,” he grumbles as he pushes me up against the cold bricks. I try to shove past him but he grabs my arms and holds me in place. I scream and his hand flies up, cutting me off. My eyes go wide as I realize the situation I’ve gotten myself into. He pushes me harder against the wall and pushes my blouse up my stomach. I plead with him, my words coming out muffled by his hand. Closing my eyes, I struggle against his grip. He holds firm, I can’t move. I don’t think I’m even standing by myself anymore. His grip prevents me from collapsing to the ground. I’m so scared I’m shaking. A tear slips down my cheek.

Suddenly, his hand is pulled from my mouth and his weight is lifted off me. I open my eyes, dropping to my knees. A man in a trench coat is holding Alex down and slamming him into the pavement. I stifle my scream when the cloaked man turns slightly and the street lights catch his eyes, making them glow silver. I need to get out of here, I need to run, but my legs won’t move.

Alex lies unconscious on the ground. He’s not dead; I can see his chest rise and fall. The cloaked man swings around to face me, his silver eyes catching the weak light. I nearly don’t recognize him.

Kai

“Kai?” Sam asks, taking a step toward me. Crap, she knows who I am, time to leave. I spin around to walk away. “Kai?” she says again, louder, more certain. This time she’s close enough to reach out and grab a hold of my arm, pulling me back around to face her. I try to push past her but the look in her eyes as she searches my face makes me pause. She looks so broken, I don’t want to hurt her more.

“Where have you been? Everyone thinks you’re dead.” I glance away from her and out toward the main street. I don’t know if I remember how to use my voice.

“I…” A twinge in my head stops me. Oh no, please. I want to stay human this time. “Sam, I have to go,” I nearly shout the words at her in a panic to get away.

She frowns. “Kai, what happened to you? Where have you been? What’s wrong with your eyes?”

My eyes? The twinge grows into full-blown agony. “Sam—” I can’t finish the sentence; the pain is becoming too much. I grab the sides of my head as if I can hold back the change.

“What’s wrong?” Her voice sounds distant, like I’m underwater, like I’m drowning. My knees hit the hard pavement and I fall forward.

Sammy

I don’t know if it’s possible to describe what I’m seeing. Kai Jordan is here, in this alley with me, curled up in a shaking ball on the ground. He’s supposed to be missing or dead. Where has he been? How could he put his family through all that grief if he was here the entire time? I kneel down beside him, his back cracks loudly and I grimace, turning my head away. When he goes silent, I turn back.

So…I’ve lost it, I’ve gone absolutely bonkers. I sit back on my heels and put my head in my hands. I should admit myself to the nearest psychiatric ward and be done with it. David would be happy; he probably always thought I was crazy. Kathy on the other hand…I take a deep, steadying breath and lift my head up. Chester stands and shakes out his brown fur, dislodging the trench coat at the same time. His silver eyes meet mine and he takes a hesitant step toward me. I flinch away and shuffle backwards. I’ve definitely lost my marbles. What just happened? Am I dreaming? More like a nightmare, actually. Chester, no—Kai takes another step. His silver eyes are freaking me out. I have to leave, I have to get up and leave right now.

I powerwalk out of the alley, turning toward home. Okay, I have to think this through logically. Ha! Who am I kidding—logic has no part in this. I rub at my heavy eyes. I’m too tired to figure this out. The adrenaline is wearing off. I turn my head slightly to look behind me. Kai is trotting down the sidewalk behind me, keeping his distance.

Kai

She’s scared of me. I mean, I would be scared too, I guess, but it still hurts. I have been living with her for weeks now. She should know by now that I won’t hurt her. I follow her up her driveway to the door. I pause a few feet away from her and wait. Is she going to let me in? She opens the door and looks back at me, hesitating before opening the door wider and motioning for me to go in. I have nowhere else to go.

She sits on the sofa and narrows her eyes on me. “Change back.” I whine and lay on the carpet near her. I can’t change back. As far as I can tell it only works for about an hour every week. She frowns at me, and then her eyes suddenly go wide. “You’ve been here with me the whole time. Everyone thinks you’re missing or dead. Oh my god.” She looks away, trying to hide the blush that spreads across her cheeks. “Oh my god.” She glances back at me. “The things I’ve told you, the things you’ve seen.” She covers her face with her hands, embarrassed. I slowly step closer. She flinches, but doesn’t move away.

She studies me briefly and then heads to her bedroom. “I need sleep. I can’t think straight. This is probably all just a dream.” I wish. I follow and wait until she’s settled under the covers before jumping up on the end of the bed, like I have every other night. The wary look in her eyes makes me feel awful. It’s not like I could have told her who I was.

Sammy

I wake with a massive headache and the bright sun streaming through my window isn’t helping. My work alarm sings. I hold a pillow over my face—please stop. I shift in the bed, keeping my ears covered, and reach out to grab my phone off the nightstand. My foot connects with something solid as I stretch out. I freeze, peeking over the top of the blankets at the dark brown mass at my feet. Last night comes rushing back in and I suck in a sharp breath.

“Kai?” I whisper, pulling the blanket closer. The dog’s head flies up and silver eyes meet mine. So, not a dream then. Without looking, I swipe my finger across my phone to switch off the alarm and slide out of bed, still staring at him. I’m definitely calling in sick for work today. I don’t know how to deal with this, and besides, I’m not ready to be near Alex. I walk backward to the shower.

The hot water feels amazing. The stress melts away, leaving me calm and loose. Kai is lying on the couch when I come out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel. Blushing, I hurry to my room and shut the door. I should have taken clothes into the bathroom with me. I dress quickly and grab the dog lead. I need to go for a walk, fresh air will do us both some good.

“Well? Are you coming?” I call over my shoulder to Kai as I walk through the door. He hesitates, then follows me down the driveway and out onto the street. I ring Caity to tell her I’m sick while we walk.

Caity’s voice is full of concern. “Are you feeling all right?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, it’s just a migraine. I’ll see you next Saturday.” I feel bad for calling in sick, but having to face Alex is too much right now. I have other things to deal with first, like the confusing mess walking a few steps behind me. I stuff my phone back in my pocket and turn slightly to look at Kai. I haven’t bothered putting the lead around his neck, I’m sure he’s smart enough to stay close so he doesn’t end up in the pound again. A picture of human Kai Jordan locked in a dog cage pops up in my mind and I giggle to myself. Kai snorts behind me, probably thinking I’ve lost it. Maybe I have. I have so many questions he obviously can’t answer. I’m so confused and scared, but I can do this. I can wrap my head around this. I know what I saw.

Kai

Sam walks us around the block three times before heading back down her driveway. She hasn’t spoken a word to me. I whine at her, but she just shakes her head. There’s a lady waiting for her when we reach the stairs to her apartment, she has short red hair and a cheery face. I concentrate on their conversation.

“Hi, Darling.” She leans in for a hug. “How are you?”

Sam smiles weakly with a quick glance my way. “Hi Kathy, yeah I’m okay. I have a headache, so I skipped work today.”

Kathy turns to me. “Is the little fella getting too much for you?”

“No, no he’s fine. We just went for a walk.”

Kathy smiles and reaches out her hand to pat me. A low growl bubbles up my throat before I can stop myself. Sam frowns, but Kathy laughs it off. “It’s okay, he’s just not used to me. Why don’t you bring him over for lunch tomorrow? I’ll put Connor in his high chair so we won’t have to worry.”

Sam nods. “Sure, see you tomorrow.” They hug again and Kathy gently brushes her hand across my head as she walks away. I snuff at her and turn to follow Sam. The thin line of her mouth and the disappointment in her eyes is clear. “If you don’t behave, you won’t be able to stay here. They’ll tell me to get rid of you.” I look at the carpet in shame. I have nowhere else to go. She shakes her head at me and walks into her room. I suppose I should give her some space.

Kai

Sam comes out of her room much later, it’s well past lunch time. I stretch from where I’m lying in the sun and follow her into the kitchen. She glances at me and goes about making something to eat. My stomach grumbles painfully; I’m so hungry. I whimper at the smell of real food.

She looks down at me with an arched eyebrow. She’s speaking, but all I hear is gibberish, I have to focus. “…Suppose dog food doesn’t taste too good.” She giggles and turns back to the food on the counter. Okay, that was just mean. I snort at her and trot back to the couch, lying down so I’m facing away from her.

Enhanced hearing is a curse. I can hear everything, the slice of the knife through the ham and cheese, the bread—it’s frustrating. Footsteps leave the kitchen as she sits down on the ground, leaning up against the couch beside me. A sandwich appears in front of my face. I hesitate and look at her, suspicious.

“Go on.” She nods. A sandwich never tasted so good. I devour it in under five seconds flat and it’s pure heaven. She smirks, leaning over me to grab the TV remote and switch it on.

CHAPTER 7

Sammy

My eyes fly open and I jerk my head back into my pillow, a pair of silver eyes sits inches from my face. Kai steps back from the bed, tilting his head.

“What?” I grumble. It’s Sunday and I like to sleep in. He grunts and shakes his head before walking out of the room. I get up and follow, stretching my arms above my head and yawning as I go. He stops in the kitchen and touches his nose to the fridge.

Seriously? “You woke me up to get you food?” He wags his tail and his mouth opens with what I assume is the equivalent of a smile. My nose twitches and I narrow my eyes in annoyance. Yanking the fridge open a little forcefully, I throw a plate of cold pie on the floor for him, I’m not warming it up.

Once I’m fully awake and fed, I decide to clean my apartment. Kai hides in the corner when I start vacuuming. He can’t handle the whirring noise. I chuckle; I’m not stopping. Serves him right for waking me up early. By the time the place is spotless, it’s lunch time.

I kneel down so I’m eye level with Kai. “My foster dad really doesn’t like me, so please don’t give him any reason to be angry. You have to act like a real dog. Do you understand?” He studies me with his silver eyes before nodding. Right, let’s get this over with.

Kathy meets us at the gate to the backyard. Connor is already in his high chair at the table sucking on his blocks. I glance over at David, who is standing at the barbeque turning the meat.

“Hi, David.” I smile sweetly at him. He’s always hated it when I’m overly nice to him. He grunts back and scowls down at Kai standing beside me. Kathy can’t help herself, getting down in front of Kai and speaking to him in baby talk. He throws me a look and I smirk. When she’s finished we all sit at the picnic table to eat with Kai lying at my feet.

“So honey, how are the university applications going?” Kathy asks, scooping a heaping spoonful of potato onto my plate.

I smile. “Great. Actually, I received an early acceptance from the University in Black Pike. I was going to start looking for a place to rent so I can move out after graduation. I don’t want to stay on campus.”

“Black Pike? But that’s so far away,” she answers sadly.

“When are you leaving?” David interrupts from across the table. Kai growls softly under the table, I kick him in the ribs just as David turns a glare on him.

“Still a while to go. I haven’t graduated yet.” David grunts and turns his head away, going back to ignoring me. I pull a face while he isn’t looking.

When everyone is full I push my plate away and turn to Kathy. “Thanks, that was wonderful. Can I take some leftovers for dinner?”

“Of course, dear, take as much as you want.” She smiles and starts packing a plate full of food.

As soon as I close my door, I sink to the floor, my back pressed up against the door. Kai tilts his head at me, his silver eyes sparkling in the afternoon light. I slide the plate of leftovers across the floor to him. He hesitates, studying me before turning to the food and wolfing it down like a starving animal.

Kai

Sam throws the door open with a bang and stomps into her place. She glares at me as she chucks her bag on the floor. What did I do?

“Your friends are real idiots, you know that?” So? Why are you taking it out on me? “Don’t look at me like that!” she yells. “You’re an idiot too! Who do you think started picking on me first?” Okay I deserve that. She shakes her head and walks away, heading for her room. When she comes back out she seems calmer so I figure it’s safe to approach. She narrows her eyes at me and throws a plate of food on the floor. After I eat, I sneak into her room and hide on the bed while she watches TV and ignores me.

***

Sam’s work alarm wakes me from a really good dream. I groan and roll over; she’s not even in the bed. I stretch and walk out into the main room. Sunlight shines through the open window creating dust motes everywhere. My vision has become so sharp that dust is annoying.

I find Sam fast asleep on the couch; she jumps in surprise when I nudge her arm with my nose. She glances around the room, her gaze finally settling on me. She gives me nothing, no good morning, no emotion, nothing before getting up and switching her phone off on the way to the bathroom.

I huff out a sigh and wait for her. She emerges from the bathroom fully clothed and sits on the couch. She leans forward and puts her head in her hands with a groan. She peeks at me through her fingers and I tilt my head. Thankfully, she understands that tilting my head means a question.

“I forgot I work with Alex.” Alex who? Am I missing something? I tilt my head again and she sighs. “Alex is the guy I went on those dates with, the guy from the alley.” Anger fills me and I snort at her. She’s definitely not going to work, she’d have to be crazy to go, and besides, I won’t let her. I trot over to the door and block her way before she can leave.

“Please move.” She feigns to the side, trying to slip around me. I let off a warning growl. She has no hope, my reflexes are amazing. “I’ll be fine, Kai. I need my job. He can’t hurt me in public,” she pleads, her hands clasped together. I sneeze a no at her. Her lip twitches and she glares at me. “Fine. You can come with me then and wait outside.” Fair enough. At least if that creep tries to touch her again, which he will, I’ll be there.

I hate traveling in the car. As soon as Sam pulls up at her work I jump over her lap to get out. She throws the lead around my neck and ties me up under the shade of a tree where I can easily see into the shop’s front window. I watch her walk inside and then I settle down to wait.

Sam returns a few boring hours later, the creep following her. “Sammy, wait,” he calls after her and jogs to catch up. She doesn’t stop until she’s standing beside me. I snarl at the idiot when he tries to take a step closer. He backs up, keeping an eye on me. The right side of his face is blotched by a dark purple bruise. Good. “Sam, I just want to talk.”

She frowns and places her shaking hand on my head. “I have nothing to say to you, Alex. I should have called the police. If you come near me again, I can promise you I will.”

“I won’t hurt—”

I cut him off with a growl and a snap of my jaws. He nods once and turns away, heading back for the shop. When he’s out of sight, Sam takes her hand away, untying me and leading me back to her car. She sits in the driver’s seat with the ignition off, her hands turning red because of her grip on the steering wheel.

Sammy

I’m nearly knocked over as Kai pushes past me into the apartment. I narrow my eyes on him then head back down the driveway to check the mailbox. Kathy usually leaves my letters in the box so I don’t have to go to the house to get them, especially if I’m waiting for something important—like my university schedule, finally. And a phone bill…yay.

I walk back inside slowly, opening my letters. A shadow near the window makes me jump and throw the letters in the air. Kai stands to the side, human, and in my trench coat again.

“Jesus, Kai, you scared the crap out of me. Warn me next time.” I bend down to pick up the scattered papers and place them on the side table.

Kai sits on the couch and looks at the ground. His hair is a mess, too long and tangled; he looks like he’s lost too much weight. He’s not eating enough, or rather; I’m not feeding him enough. The silver eyes I’ve grown used to stand out creepily on his face. He lifts his head and looks at me. I take a deep breath and slide the desk chair over to sit across from him.

“So,” I start.

“I have about an hour every week. I don’t know why or how, so don’t ask.” His voice is scratchy and he holds a hand up to ward off my questions.

“Well…” I pause and think. There are so many things I could ask, but I’m not sure I want answers. Do I want to be involved in this, whatever this is? “When did this happen?”

He turns his head away. “The day after the party.” That’s right; I hit him with my car. How could I forget? A giggle escapes and I slap my hand over my mouth to stop it when I see the look on his face. This isn’t funny, I shouldn’t have laughed.

I calm myself and adjust my seat. “If I believed in such things, I’d call you a werewolf, but werewolves aren’t real. They’re a fictional monster.” I tap my fingers on my knees and study Kai.

He narrows his eyes in hurt and turns away. “Right, monster.”

Crap, I didn’t mean to be insensitive. “Kai, you’re not a monster, I didn’t mean it that way.” I need to change the subject before I make this worse. “What do you remember about the night of the party? Did something happen?”

“It’s all fuzzy, I think I blacked out. I remember hitting a tree; I was trying to avoid a deer.”

I arch my brow. “A deer?” He nods once and lowers his head, running his fingers through his tangled mess of hair. He needs a haircut. Wait a minute, why am I even thinking about his hair? This is the boy that single-handedly ruined my high school years. I can’t forgive him for that, no matter how hopeless he looks right now. I twist my swinging chair toward the window. It’s getting dark.

“Maybe it will just wear off.” I shrug. He nods again without looking up. I don’t know what to do. It’s so surreal to see him here; I mean I don’t think I’ve ever seen him act like this. Then again, his whole family thinks he’s dead and he turns into a dog. I suppose I’d be pretty upset too. A thought hits me. “Why are you staying with me?” He lifts his head and stares at me, confused. “You have friends and family you could be with right now. Why stay with me?”

He opens his mouth and then closes it again. He’s surprised. After a long moment of fidgeting hands, he meets my gaze. “Can I stay?”

I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding and nod. “Of course you can. I’m not going to just kick you out.” Wait, what? Did I just say that? I
should
kick him out on his selfish, arrogant, full of himself ass. I only let him stay until now because I was curious. He smiles and my heart skips a beat. Oh god, why couldn’t I be a mean person? I shake my head and turn away to hide my red cheeks.

“You should eat something. I didn’t realize you weren’t getting enough food.” He looks down at himself and then follows me as I go into the kitchen. He stands beside me as I start dinner. Once its ready I set the bowl of spaghetti down on the tiny two person kitchen table I never use. Kai sits down across from me and starts shoveling pasta into his mouth. I have to cover my mouth to hold back my laugh as he eats. He smiles around another mouthful. He’s not acting like the Kai I remember.

He basically licks his bowl clean and places it back on the table. I have to know, I’ve been watching his eyes for a while now, and it’s been bothering me. They are just so different to the ones I remember. “I always thought your eyes were brown.”

He glances up with a confused frown. “They aren’t brown?”

“Not anymore they’re not,” I answer, gesturing with a nod at his face. He stands and walks into the bathroom; I tag along behind him. When he reaches the mirror he leans in close and touches a hand to his cheek.

“Huh,” he muses.

“That’s it? Just ‘huh’? Your eyes have completely changed color.”

His reflection smirks at me. “I think my eye color is the least of my problems right now, don’t you agree?”

I purse my lips. “I guess.” I lean in a little closer. “Do you think you should maybe take a shower? You kind of smell.” I chuckle at the appalled look on his face, which then turns into full-blown laughter when he shoves me out of the bathroom and slams the door in my face. A moment later I hear the water turn on so I head back to the table to clean up from dinner.

Just as I finish washing up the water shuts off in the bathroom. I wait, but Kai doesn’t come out. Worried, I walk over and open the door. Please don’t be naked. A big wet brown dog jumps out at me and starts shaking his wet fur all over the place.

“Kai! Don’t!” I dash into the bathroom and bring a towel back out, throwing it on him just as he rolls over and tries to dry his back. He’s still dripping wet when he stands up. Without thinking, I grab the towel off the floor and rub his face and neck dry. Hold on, what am I doing? I drop the towel and stand up quickly. A hot blush burns across my face as I realize what I’ve done. I swiftly turn around and walk back into the bathroom, shutting myself in.

Kai makes himself scarce when I exit the bathroom. I try to pretend I don’t care where he is until I go to bed and he’s curled up on the floor in the corner. I look away quickly, still embarrassed, and stretch out under the covers. Lying in bed, I wonder if he remembers how he treated me all through high school. Does he even remember who I am? Surely if he knew he’d apologize, wouldn’t he?