Fae (3 page)

Humiliated.

Mortified.

Crushed.

Dear God, had I just lived through that horrific experience? Had that beautiful man just belittled me like that in front of a small audience of the cattiest girls in school?

You'll have to go find someone else to bother with this nonsense.

Indeed he had.

My face had to be as red as a cherry. I could feel my cheeks burn with the humiliation as my mind replayed the scene over and over again.

Not that I cared at all about what these girls thought of me. They weren't my friends, but they were always nothing but nice to me when they were alone.

When they were in a group, it was a different story.

Maybe it was my own insecurity, but I never really felt like I fit in. None of the things that interested them really interested me. I didn't dress the part. I didn't act the part. And I wasn't interested in the gossip of who dated whom. But what Devilyn just did would haunt me for at least my high school career. I would spend every waking moment obsessing over it until hopefully one day it would become only a memory. I knew that would take at least half a year.

Six long and agonizing months.

It would play like a broken record in my mind for days. And I couldn't stop it. I wouldn't be able to stop it because I was simply not strong enough. He was so…
dismissive
. Had I looked and acted like a lovelorn stalker? I couldn't be that bad, could I? But it was as if he loathed me. Maybe I was absolutely repulsive to look at…

You're just a geek, Caroline,
my mind screamed at me
.
And he clearly doesn't go for geeks.

But he could have been nice. Just shown some common decency. It wasn't like I was asking him out on a date. Just a simple interview. He could have just said, ‘no, thank you'. I breathed in and tried to let the air in my lungs wash away the humiliating experience. But it wasn't going anywhere. I wondered if I should call Teddy. Surely, he'd be willing to calm me down. But then, he'd ask me the inevitable question,
why did I even care
?

I picked up my pace and all but ran to the parking lot that was fast becoming empty. I pulled out the keys to my Volkswagen Jetta and clicked on the button to open the locks.

You'll be okay, I assured myself. Just get in the car. Just get in the car and drive away.

Far away.

Like to the next state.

My heart was still racing. I threw my backpack into the passenger seat of my car and quickly slid into the driver's seat. The cold leather started to soothe my soul. I could slowly feel the deep crimson color draining from my face. I locked the doors quickly and took in another deep breath. I suddenly felt safer. A high school experience like the one that I just lived through is something that everyone fears.

What was my problem? Who cared about this guy? Why was I so bugged out? My fingers gripped the steering wheel as I took in yet another deep breath and prepared to face the word that was facing me like some ugly pimple.

Rejection.

It haunted me like a wall of shame.
Deep breath
.
Take another deep breath
. The word itself was hideous.
Rejection
. He had undeniably rejected me in the biggest, fattest way known in history. Okay, maybe I was overreacting just a bit, but let's face it, he had. I wasn't good enough. I wasn't
worthy
enough to even warrant a look from him.

With shaky hands I slipped the key in the ignition, and the car roared alive. I turned my headlights on and tried to get a grip. I didn't even know him. He was a jock. A football player, why did I even care?

As I continued to talk my way out of the disastrous situation and what could be a complete hysterical evening of tears and self-loathing, my headlights illuminated the man that was dominating my thoughts. He was walking slowly toward the parking lot, his gait sure, his steps long. Like a rock star.

I hated him.

No, I didn't.

But I wish I did.

His hands were stuffed in his jean pockets, and he was staring confidently ahead. It was almost sickening.
Almost.

My gaze was glued to him. How could I help myself? He was just so perfect. It wasn't fair.

Reverse.
Put the car in reverse and just go before you put the car in drive, step on the gas, and run him over right here on this field
in front of dozens of eye-witnesses.

Like you'd ever do that
, my mind screamed at me.

It took all of my self-control, my will power, to put the car in reverse and drive away. But before I did that, I hesitated for one brief moment because I thought, maybe, just maybe he was looking at me.

Was he staring? Through the light fog of the night and the darkness, I could not tell. But after what I'd just gone through, I'd guess I was wrong.
Just drive, Caroline
.

And I did.

Straight into another car.

I heard the crunch of metal on metal. I heard the crackle of a headlight shattering. For a second, time stood still. Then I heard something else, louder than all other sounds, as if it were coming from within. I could hear his laughter, unabashed, loud. Absolutely trying not to hide it. I started sweating. Profusely.

“That did not just happen,” I said to myself. I gripped the steering wheel for a good minute then jumped out of the car and ran to check out the damage I'd have to pay for. I looked at my bumper.

Whoever's car I hit was also blessedly unblemished. I almost fell against the vehicle in relief. Not a scratch. At least there were small miracles. All that noise and not an inch of damage.

But he was still laughing. I could hear him. I stalked back to my car, slammed the door shut, and took off.

Lucky for him I didn't try to run him over.

“The future was with Fate, the present was our own.”
—Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

In the beginning, there were great Gods that ruled the earth. The grounds would tremble under their footsteps. Mother Nature herself would do whatever they asked. They kept peace, fighting wars to ensure the human race could thrive and succeed in spite of its weaknesses. Their will was one of power and control.

But there was one that stood above them all. A legend among the Gods. Powerful, but benevolent. A magnanimous warrior with a heart of gold.

His name was Odin.

He was a golden God, tall and strapping, fighting beside his soldiers and always remaining true of heart.

And he was now the keeper of The One. Trusted to ensure his safety, raising him in Light and love, but with a heart of a warrior. Ready for battle. Ready to take on even the greatest of enemies…

Odin sat alone on his throne and watched as the ceiling above him opened up, revealing a thousand stars glittering like diamonds in the night. Odin moved his head back and waited for what was to come.

It was a slow build that began to vibrate against the walls, and then the wind blew around him in a fury, causing his deep blue cape to whip in frenzy. He lifted his hand toward the heavens, and suddenly two eagles circled above in the sky. Their movements were fluid, uniform, as if they had danced this dance for thousands of years. They swooped down and flew into the hall, and the wind stopped for a brief moment as they called out to Odin.

“What news have you brought me, my faithful pets?” Odin asked as he watched them move around the room, whipping in circles above him.

“The time is near,” Munin, the elder eagle answered, his ancient voice echoing in the room.

Odin tensed at the words.

“We fear what is to come,” Hugin said as he circled the room.

“Why fear? We shall be victorious,” Odin stood up and roared out the words.

“My lord, we do not fear the course. We only fear that the future King will deny her. If this happens we worry what the outcome will be,” Hugin assured him.

“Devilyn will do what is right.”

“The Dark is strong. Its energy fills the air,” Munin informed him. “It is palpable, a tempting aphrodisiac even for the true of heart.”

“Then we shall be stronger,” Odin said with finality, and then his cape whipped around him in a flash and he was gone.

I leaned against the doorway, deep in thought going over the events of the day.

“You saw her?” he asked.

I barely nodded.

“You don't seem pleased.” He was examining my reaction. He already knew how I felt, my thoughts, my plans. He was after all,
all knowing
.

“I'm trying to stay indifferent,” I responded, knowing that this would bother him. Knowing that this statement would be seen as shirking my responsibilities.

I sat down at the massive dining room table and allowed one of his servants to fill a plate for me. As usual, the large mahogany table was filled with every type of sumptuous meal known to man. Tonight I had my choice of filet mignon stuffed with some rare French cheese or some truffle-infused lamb dish, served bloody. The luxurious display was after all, the food of the Gods. And as usual the room was beautifully set with large wax candles and the finest silk tablecloth.

It was a tradition with our family. Every night we dined together, no matter where we were, or what plans we had, we ate dinner as a family. Just like a human family.

But slightly different.

After my plate was filled, he snapped his finger and the servants disappeared into thin air. He twirled a glass of wine in his hand and watched me as I carefully ate. I cautiously disguised my features and pretended like we were discussing something as trivial as the weather.

“Try as you will. You can't change the Fates,” he responded. I looked at him, watched him rub his dark grey beard. His piercing blue eyes studied me, observing every detail. I hated that he knew all my thoughts. Always one step ahead of me. He knew what would happen tomorrow. What would happen a year from now.

“You want me to accept defeat?” I shot back. “You want me to take this unknowing innocent and ruin all chances she has at a life of normalcy?”

“If you don't protect her Devilyn, the outcome will be certain,” he said. I angrily speared a piece of steak and jammed it into my mouth. It should have been delicious, but it tasted bitter to me. It was more difficult for me to swallow his tormenting words.

“Certain?” I replied. “Who's to say?”

“Fate holds all the cards my son.” Odin knew he was goading me on. “And you know more than I that we don't have much time.”

Despite the will and power of the fates, my life never felt more uncertain.

“This moment is yours. And yours alone.” Odin sighed. “You are the chosen one. The only Fae to ever exist with the blood of both light and dark.”

He softened his tone as he leaned in.

“The time has come, and I have trained you well. You are the
only
one who can keep her safe. And you know more than anyone that the prophecy has begun. The wheels of destiny were set into motion. The runes have predicted that the hunt will begin seven hundred days before her eighteenth birthday. Just after she turns sixteen. And you also know that the number seven is considered to have godly powers and signifies a rebirth for all.”

“I know it,” I whispered as he continued.

“She is now sixteen years old. That is why you have entered her life at this time.”

“I never said that I wouldn't protect her.”

Silence.

I looked up at him, my eyes softer. He was the only father I had ever known. He had taken me, a baby, and raised me as his own. My destiny, he had always told me, was to be a great king. To unite two kingdoms. I would never be like my kind.

Never dark.

I would be more human, possessing both the good and bad. How many times had he told me this? How many times had I wanted to believe him?

“
Believe me
.”

I closed my eyes and tried to hide my sadness.

“I can't allow her to become attached to me.”

“Why, Devilyn? Don't you deserve happiness?”

My face betrayed my thoughts. The anger that I tried to contain rose within me like hot lava. My eyes lit in fury.

“Happiness? She brings me nothing but despair!”

Odin remained quiet for once. He saw the volcano within me. Even he, the great God, Odin, knew the hatred that slept deep inside my soul. The hatred I kept hidden, suppressed for so many years. Even Odin knew that I could snap at any moment and turn to the Dark Fae, embrace what I was by birth, and perhaps become more powerful than any of them had ever been. I swallowed slowly, gained some control, and continued.

“I will have a brief moment. A second of happiness. And then it will be gone. I will not allow it. I will
not
have it.” I could not contain the fury that the last statement evoked in me.

“Devilyn—”

“No. I will not. I will not allow you to sway my thoughts. It is my decision. And mine alone.”

I forced myself to eat again.

“Do you question my choice?” He demanded of me, his voice quiet but sharp, his ire rising.

“Never.”

“Never forget that I gave you this life. A life which will result in your rule over a kingdom, the land of the young, Tir-na-Nog.”

“And what of the dark ones?”

“Once this union is solidified, the dark will no longer exist. The powers they have will become obsolete. There will be some who will rise and allow the light to conquer them and others who will perish.”

I couldn't bring myself to believe him.

“This responsibility cannot be taken lightly.” He went on sternly.

“I would never take my responsibility
lightly
.”

“I thought you were ready.”

“I
am
ready,” I said, looking at him steadily. “But I will rule
alone
. Forever.”

He studied me for a long moment, then a small smile crossed his lips. This infuriated me more.

“Have you seen her?” I asked coolly.

“In the runes.”

“Perhaps you should see her in person before you begin the celebrations.”

“Her mother was enchanting,” He replied in a calm voice.

I rolled my eyes even though I knew I was being harsh. Just as I had treated her harshly that evening.

“You don't find her beautiful?” He asked curiously. He had a knowing smile on his face. He was Odin the Great, after all.

“I didn't say that.”

“Ahh.”

I looked at him, eyes narrowed.

“Care to explain?”

Odin laughed heartily, almost falling back in his chair.

“No, my son. I think you should figure out the meaning behind my words on your own.”

He stood up at that moment and came over to my side of the table and messed up my hair as if I was a five-year-old child.

“I envy you.”

Odin envying me? Had he lost his mind?

“Lighten up, dear boy. Have some fun.” He started to laugh again, harder now as he walked out of the room. Leaving me alone with my thoughts. I scowled after him.

He was wrong. I would keep my distance. I would only watch her from afar. I would keep her safe. And I would never get close. Never.

He was wrong.

He
had
to be…

I didn't sleep much that night. Understandably so. I spent the whole night reliving the most embarrassing experience of my young life. Was I that undesirable? So undesirable that he couldn't be civil and answer a few questions? I asked myself that question all night long. And every time I closed my eyes and tried to sleep, I would see his face.

His beautiful, gorgeous face.

Ugh, I was pathetic.

I woke up at six and stood in front of the mirror just so I could analyze myself from head-to-toe. I stood before my reflection wearing my standard sleep uniform. A simple long sleeved t-shirt and baggy cotton pants. My long hair fell to my waist in soft waves. My eyes looked tired today from a long night of tossing and turning.

My body was normal, not hyper-sexed like the cheerleaders of the school, but it was decent. My nose fit my face, my lips were seemingly full, my eyes pleasantly shaped and big. Was I that bad?

I heard a light growl, and I looked down at Famous, my six-year-old Pomeranian. He sat at my side staring at me in the mirror. He obviously thought I was losing it as well. I leaned down and pet his sable head.

“I know,” I said to him, “I'm crazy.”

I hate Devilyn Reilly, I thought as I covered my face in embarrassment. I had been reduced to this? I never hated anyone.

I was staring at myself in a mirror as if the most important thing in the world was to be beautiful in the eyes of a man that I did not even know. I had to stop it. I never cared about this stuff. I never cared about looks or clothes. My family always said that I was more of an old soul.

Old soul.

Yes, I was an old soul.

A sixteen-year-old girl with the mind of an eighty-year-old woman. I know that I could have certainly tried harder. On my sixteenth birthday my mom had taken me to the mall to gift me with new clothes and makeup. I had plastered a fake smile on my face when we sat at the make-up counter in the department store. I couldn't bring myself to ruin her moment.

“Isn't she beautiful?” My mom had said to the sales lady. The woman, who had a perfectly painted and coiffed look began to analyze me from head to toe. I realized that she must have only been twenty-something but from the amount of make-up she had on, you'd think she was in her thirties.

“Yes, she has great skin. And pretty eyes.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled, annoyed that they were talking about me like I wasn't standing there.

“
But
,” I knew I couldn't get off that easily, “I'd love to do her makeup and show you guys some colors she could use to accentuate what she has. Just like I do.”

I hoped my horror didn't show.

“Yes!” My mom said excitedly, “Let's give her a makeover.”

Thirty minutes later, the sales lady had placed a mirror in my hands, and it had taken all my power not to burst out laughing. I looked like a clown. A real, honest to goodness, clown. I looked over at my mom, praying that she agreed with me but unable to read her thoughts.

“You look beautiful, honey.” She turned to the saleslady. “I'll take everything you used.”

“Mom—” I began, horrified.

“No, no. It's part of your birthday gift.”

Makeup? For my birthday? I hoped my disappointment didn't show. Three hours later she'd dragged me to every store in the mall to buy clothes. My mom had wanted to pick up a gift for my father, and I'd taken that opportunity to take some time for myself.

Hours later, she found me in the bookstore bundled up in the corner reading. At least I had the decency to be embarrassed.

“I'm sorry,” I said to her.

My mom smiled at me and took a seat on the floor next to me.

“Don't be sorry. Never be sorry for who you are,” she replied as she squeezed my shoulder. “What are you reading?”

“
A Separate Peace
. It's really good.” My mom kissed me on the head.

“Let's buy it for you.”

“I actually already have it,” I told her with a smile. My mom put her arm around me and gave me a tight squeeze as she looked down at the bags on the floor.

She said, “You're so beautiful, you don't need all this.”

“Really?” I replied in astonishment.

“Really,” she said as she smiled back.

“I'm so happy you said that!”