Fail Up (14 page)

Clear and Present Danger

My experience 20 years ago was added to this book to help me tackle a larger concern, one that has my head and my heart in conflict. In general, I believe that technology is a force for the greater good because it provides unprecedented access to information, education, and entertainment. No one can dispute how much it has leveled the playing field. But, like the atom bomb, stem cell research, or any other scientific advancement, there's that duality of good intention versus out-of-control application. Because so much amplified, unchecked, unfiltered negativity comes through the Internet, many critics identify it as the most powerful and influential mechanism of instability in our society.

Imagine if the rumor I started with a group of guys a generation ago was posted in some sleazy, sensationalized online news story. Imagine if my boys had dispatched my gossip to the blogosphere. Deeply private matters made public. Whoa! It could have driven someone to drastic measures.

That's what happened to 18-year-old Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi. In 2010, two students allegedly spied on him and broadcasted from a Webcam (and later on the iChat network) an intimate encounter of Clementi with another man. When Clementi learned of this public outing, he leapt to his death from a New York bridge.

Much of the sheer hatred aimed at President Obama can be attributed to the rumor that he's a Muslim. A 2010 Pew Research Center poll suggested that one in five Americans believes the rumor is true. “The rumor itself isn't new,” Doug Bernard wrote in a VOANews.com article, “… but it has been spreading rapidly lately—due in large measure to the Internet.”

A few days after an earthquake devastated Haiti, a rumor spread across the entire nation that a massive earthquake was soon to hit Ghana; it caused major panic and sent thousands of Ghanaians running into the streets. The rumor was spread mostly by mobile phones. Jenna Burrell, assistant professor in the School of Information at UC-Berkeley, cites this incident as an example of the Internet's ubiquitous power to stir mass emotion.

Starbucks, the coffee company, still finds itself warding off rumors that it didn't support the war in Iraq or anyone who fought in it. The myth started with an e-mail sent to friends by a Marine sergeant. In his note, he complained that Starbucks denied free coffee to U.S. soldiers in Iraq because they disapproved of the war. The complaint went viral and became fact in the minds of many. Even though the soldier later recanted his claim and sent another e-mail apologizing for his misrepresentation of Starbucks, he couldn't dilute the impact of his original missive.

Today, thanks to the World Wide Web, it's easy to spread false, misleading, and dangerous rumors. And entertainers and politicians aren't the only targets; be you teacher, bus driver, baker, or candlestick maker—doesn't matter, we're all fair game.

Ever heard of spokeo.com? Well, chances are it's heard of you. The new online USA phone book lists personal information aggregated from online and offline sources that can let total strangers know almost everything about you. Type in your name, e-mail address, or phone number, and photos you might have posted on social network sites appear. The Website offers pictures of your house and street, your credit score, income, age, occupation, and other information you may want to keep personal.

That old truism, “nothing spreads like word of mouth,” has become obsolete. The Internet is now word of mouth—on steroids. Technology has accelerated the power to inform, misinform, and destroy a zillion times faster than words we let slip between our lips.

Until It Happens to You

We're all part of the problem. When we read something negative about someone else online and forward it to our list of friends, contacts, and social networks, we're all guilty. We're all voyeurs, contributing to the cultural instability, societal decay, and the Web-speed ugliness that's infecting America.

To some, it's a small price to pay for the reward of global interactivity. For others, it's much ado about nothing; gossip is part of our DNA. Sociologists say gossiping is a way for people to feel important, bond in social circles, stay in-the-know, and clarify positions. According to a 2010 study by the Social Issues Research Center (SIRC), two-thirds of all conversation is gossip. The study's authors also referenced other research that found gossip accounts for 55 percent of men's conversation time and 67 percent of women's.

It's what we do and who we are. I get it.

We live in a brash, totally indiscriminant culture where venting our spleen in public is fodder for a hit reality show or perhaps ten minutes of fame as an agitated guest on
Jerry Springer
or
Maury
or some other knock-down, beat-down, sensationalized, low-brow TV show. You can't even stand in a checkout line without being bombarded by headlines on sleazy tabloids gossiping about extramarital or homosexual affairs, celebrity weight gain or loss, or a vulture-type story of a near-death notable.

As fun as it can be for creative types, YouTube can also be used to anonymously but virally slash someone you don't like or desire to humiliate for chuckles. Why not? Millions are tuned in anyway just waiting for that hilariously funny homemade video that makes a fool out of somebody … anybody.

The privacy lane has been unbelievably cluttered with postings of opinions as facts and live feeds from bookstores, hotels, hospitals, businesses, and local girls and guys' “gone wild” parties. We function in a society where it's actually cool to hang folks and businesses upside down on the cross via the Internet.

There is no Internet FCC as a constant monitoring and regulatory authority. An offensive video might have had a million hits by the time you realize you've been slandered online. The immediate consequence of an improper or inaccurate video posting is usually a company or a person's ruined reputation.

Again, I get it. But it's shameful.

Navigating Through It All

Toward the end of his life, Dr. King delivered an emotional speech in Chicago. At the time, he was the recipient of despicable rumors, public attack, and constant death threats due in part to his staunch opposition to the Vietnam War. In that rare speech, Dr. King—the epitome of forgiveness—really let his feelings out and his emotions show. He talked about the pain he felt from the maltreatment of his peers. The rumors about his communist leanings and the fortune he had supposedly made off the movement had taken their toll. He said he was challenged to find ways to navigate through it all.

Two things strike me about that particular sermon. First, even Dr. King was emotionally disturbed and distressed about the rumors that circulated about him back in the day. If he got depressed about the rumor mill then, I wonder how he would navigate commonplace demonization and distortions in the age of the Internet. As wonderful as it is, the anonymity of the Internet allows people to express darker, more sinister, and sometimes even deadly sides freely, with no consequences because there's no real oversight attached.

Second, the road to success in the Social Media Age demands higher levels of integrity. Discretion has become so bastardized that you are assumed a liability before you're hired. Many employers now require new hires to sign nondisclosure clauses. Sometimes heavy penalties are exacted for violating these clauses.

A few years ago,
ABC News
profiled celebrity assistants—those charged with chauffeuring duties, setting personal appointments, landscape work, dog appointments, and everything in between. Some worked for the likes of Olympia Dukakis, Matthew McConaughey, Hugh Jackman, Renee Russo, and other stars. According to the report, “Nondisclosure agreements are commonplace among personal assistants, who are expected never to repeat anything they see, hear, or do for their bosses. If they do, punishments range from getting fired to monetary fines.”

The point in all of this is that the maxim “Loose lips sink ships” seems sort of disconnected from modern-day society. Ships are safe. People aren't. Loose lips—gossiping, spreading somebody else's business—has a boomerang effect. It can disable the innocent and slash the slinger. Trust is no longer something that's expected; it's something you have to earn. Gossiping in this “no benefit of the doubt” work environment can get you branded early as untrustworthy and mortally wound your career.

Short of avoiding loquacious ex-lovers, in a world with dissipating moral boundaries, you are the best person to control your brand. Make it a brand people trust.

Take it from someone who is paying a karmic price for his foolish deed. I have become a “personality,” and there's a big, red gossip target on my back. Be vigilant—for yourself and for your career. Be ever observant—not only for your well-being, but also for future generations destined to inherit a world where boundaries are murky and careless words can be perilous.

CHAPTER 10

GET IN WHERE
YOU FIT IN

I
t's a testament to fortitude when a CEO humbly admits that he isn't best suited to run a multibillion-dollar company. That's exactly what John Sculley, former CEO of Apple Inc., did. The best man for the job, he said during an interview with
BusinessWeek
, was one of the company's original founders—Steve Jobs.

In 1983, Apple's board of directors considered Jobs—then 28—too young to manage the responsibilities of chief executive officer. Sculley, PepsiCo president and the developer of the “Pepsi Challenge,” was selected instead. In 1985, Apple board members directed Sculley to “contain” Jobs, which led to the visionary's bitter exodus. Jobs's departure, Sculley said, almost sent the company into its “neardeath experience.”

Of course, Jobs came back, and by 2000, he was once again Apple's official CEO. It was the perfect fit all along, Sculley said. Way back in the early '80s, he told
BusinessWeek
, Jobs had the “outrageous idea” that computers—which were relegated to the business world at the time—would become consumer products that would “change the world.”

Incidentally, Sculley was no slouch. Under his ten-year tenure as CEO, Apple's sales rose from $800 million to $8 billion annually. But a few bad development decisions and intense competition from Microsoft and other high-tech companies hurt Apple. Sculley's forte was marketing. With Jobs, he said, “everything is design.” That successful methodology is evident in products released since Jobs's return to Apple Inc.: the iPod, the iPhone, and the iPad among them.

Had Jobs not come back, Apple would have been “absolutely gone,” Sculley insisted.

There's universal wisdom in his comments. And it's not necessarily about the billions Jobs has generated for Apple or himself. To me, it's about knowing your role, discovering your niche, developing your talent, and multiplying your rewards.

In short, it's about learning how to get in where you fit in.

Why Can't I Crack Jokes, Too?

Until I joined the
Tom Joyner Morning Show
in 1996, the program was all about entertainment. For four hours each day, Tom and his crew entertained their audience by telling jokes and playing music and taking the pulse of Black America in public. Tom and I defined my role as the “empowerment component.” He understood that his show could be used for more than just a platform to entertain; we could also empower people; give them information that could improve their lives. So the strategy for my weekly segments was that Tom and the crew would get folks to laugh, and I'd focus on getting them to listen.

I am still stunned by the impact we had for 12 years. The crew did four hours every day, 20 hours a week. I was on for only ten minutes a week—one five-minute commentary on Tuesday and another on Thursday. Yet, the force of those ten minutes became genuinely powerful, especially after I learned how to play my role.

Because Tom and the whole crew were veteran entertainers, I wanted to fit in and thought I needed to crack some jokes, too. I wasn't comfortable with the idea of just sitting back, idly waiting for my five minutes. I wanted to hang with the funny folks. So every now and then, I'd chime in with something I thought was funny. Each time, it turned into a comedic beat-down.