Fair and Tender Ladies (17 page)

You should have seen Mrs. Trenton Jones and Evangeline Matney and even old Wash Tuttle from the drugstore, acting crazy. And Mrs. Viers with all those moles on her face was ringing her hands and mumbling. And little old Garnie sitting up front on a chair with the Murphy family, this is the singers from Prestonsburg Kentucky, looking so serios. The Murphy family is two fat brothers and their gap tooth little sister. Garnie wore a suit that Sam Russell Sage had bought him at Sharps Mercantile. Then the Murphy family led us in singing That Beutiful Land with Sam Russell Sage himself lining out the words.
In the beutiful land where the angels stand, we shall meet, we shall meet, we shall meet in that beutiful land.
It is a real pretty song. Then I thoght about us berrying Babe, and how nobody sang. It made me so sad. Then Garnie got to pass the collection plate, he looked like a little old fat man. He would not look at me.

Then Sam Russell Sage was preaching agian and I have to admit, it started to get to me. I started thinking, now will I go to Heaven, or burn in the flames of Hell? I was getting so scarred I could not breth. Then the Murphys sung
Ye young, ye gay, ye proud, you must die and wear the shroud. E-Ter-Ni-Ty! Eternity! Then youll cry, I want to be, happy in eternity.
Time will rob you of your bloom, Death will drag you to your tomb, the Murphys sang.

Beulah, it was awful! For where will I go? I wondered. And,
what will happen to me?
I looked at Garnie and he was eating it up. But I was terified. Then Sam Russell Sage prayed agian and then he gave out the invitational while the Murphys sung real soft, Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me.
Come on,
said Sam Russell Sage. Come right on up to Jesus. And people were screaming out and going up right and left, and he was hugging them. Oh lamb of God I come, I come, the Murphys sung. And I have to say, I almost done it too. For I could feel the firey hand of God clutching me in the stomach and I would of gone myself if it had not been for Miss Torrington who took a sick spell right then and there.

Ivy, she said, grabbing my arm, Ivy we must leave immediatly, and so we did, with Miss Torrington brething out of a little cutglass bottle and holding tight to my arm. Once we were out of the tent and almost to the bridge we stopped for a minute and I looked back. The big-meeting tent glowed out smoky red in the night, on account of the pine knots. Miss Torrington swayed like she would fall, and bowed her head. I belive she was praying. And bye and bye as we walked over the bridge, the firey hand of God let go of my stomach, and it got to be plane old night agian, you could hear the bullfrogs in the river and then the piano from Hazels Entertainment.

So we got back home, but I have not been saved yet, so I hope I will not die anytime soon!

And now for Miss Gertrude Torrington. Beulah, do you rember the camio pin which Mrs. Brown used to wear all the time? Well, Miss Torrington favors the camio. She is so pale, with hair as light as Silvaneys and a long pale face with skin so fine and so thin you can see the blue vanes in it and almost the bones, and big deep eyes so dark blue they look purple. Her forehead is wide and white. She pulls her hair strate back in a bunch and wears no jewelry of any kind. Her voice is real high and grates on your nerves.

Miss Torrington is a misionary. This means that she has come from the Presbyterian Church in Boston to visit the school here, and describe the conditions. I cannot immagine what she will say. It seems to me that conditions are very good.

I am going to school now and I love it, I am the very first pupil Beulah, I hope you will be proud of this as Momma does not seem to care one way or the other. I am learning a lot. And Miss Torrington is taken a particular intrest in me! She is teaching me French which nobody knows but her, and plane geometry, and if I do real good she will teach me drawing. She asks me questin after questin, we talk evry day for hours and she is giving me many books to read such as Charles Dickens and Lord knows what all. Miss Torrington says that I am remarkable and wants me to go back to live with her in Boston and go to school there. So I may do this Beulah if Momma will let me go, its the chance of a lifetime I guess. I would dearly love to go to a school such as she describes, with a librery full of books. I would love to learn latin and become a teacher.

But something holds me back from saying YES I WILL GO, I am not sure what. I would like to be a teacher like Mrs. Brown but not like Miss Torrington. For she stands too stiff and pushes too close to you when she talks, it is hard to describe. She is not happy ether. She is strate as a poker and stars in your eyes too hard and she does not get along with Geneva. So I have not said Yes yet but how often I try to immagine the world beyond this town, I would love to go! Miss Torrington says that we could visit the Old North Church where Paul Revere started out in the poem I love, Listen my children and you will hear of the midnight ride of Paul Revere, and in the Boston Commons she says there is a lake with swan boats.

And now, a funny incidence about Geneva before I close. You know how Geneva has her red automobile which is the joy of her hart, and keeps it locked up in the garage? And sometimes she takes it out to go riding and sometimes she takes us too? Johnny just loves to go out riding. Well Saturday last she got it out and put on a fascinator and took Momma for a spin, out the old Poorbottom Road towards Rich Valley, and had a head-on colision! There was not but one other car on the road and they run smack into each other, it was Marcus Rope who Curtis might know as he is a big company man. So Genevas fender is busted but her and Momma is fine and Geneva has made it a famous story now which brings a good lagh every time. And also Beulah, I belive that Sam Russell Sage has become her sweetie! But I will save this news for next time when I am sure.

And one other thing which will intrest Curtis I know, is what is going on right now, it has just started, in the bottom at the river bend. Do you rember Louis Judd? He is the son of Mrs. Rose Judd who lives in the yellow house but he has been gone for years, he is a mover and shaker as Geneva says, he will put you in mind of our uncle Revel. In fact he used to be a frend of Revels, it makes me very sad to write his name, REVEL. Anyway some say that Louis Judd has been to prison, some say not. In any case he has come back to town in a uniform, he is gathering up a regiment for the Army in the river bottom, this very minute! He has got him a whole Army camp over there with tents and guns and more men coming every day. To which Judge Brack says, Poppycock! But Louis Judd is doing it anyway. He is raising a company.

I wish I could join! For I think to myself, somebody has got to fight the Germans, they are cutting off babys hands. Well I hope you are happy about your new baby, Beulah. I relly do. I hope you and Curtis and little John Arthur take to it over there at Diamond but for now I miss you and remane your loving sister in Majestic,

 

IVY ROWE.

Oh Silvaney,

 

I feel I am bursting with news but I can not tell it to a sole, I have no one to talk to. It is so hard to say. But I feel that things are happening two times allways, there is the thing that is happening, which you can say, and see, and there is another thing happening too inside it, and this is the most important thing but its so hard to say. For an instance, I have just written a letter to Beulah, and every word I said was true, but there is so much I dare not say. Oh Silvaney my love and my hart, I can talk to you for you do not understand, I can write you this letter too and tell you all the deep things, the things in my hart. For sometimes, as Geneva says, a girl has just got to let down her hair! And it is like you are part of me Silvaney, in some way. So I can tell you things I would not tell another sole.

For I am bad, Silvaney. I am bad, bad, rotten clear throgh. I will tell you how bad I am. I have been knowing it ever since I went to the big meeting last August with Miss Torrington. A hand of fire clutched me in the stomach then Silvaney, it was the hand of God almighty, and it put me in mind at the time of something which has only now come clear to me.

It is, Mister Rochester in Jane Eyre.

When Mister Rochester kissed Jane Eyre she felt a firey hand in her vitals, this is her stomach I reckon. Well I know what she means. I think it is a warning that you are bad. For Jane would of given in and run away with Mister Rochester if it was not for God, but I have not been saved so I do not have him to turn to.

And I will tell you something else, if Sam Russell Sage is who God has sent, then I dont know if I even want to be saved ether, in spite of the firey hand! For I think Sam Russell Sage is awful. He is Genevas sweetie these days whenever he comes to town, and stays up in the room with her out of wedlock, and drinks whisky out of bottles which he brings, and cuts his mustache so messy that he leaves little black hairs all over the bathroom for me or Ludie to clean up. He does not even care what a mess he makes.

I have growed to hate the sight of those little black hairs all over the sink, and to hate the sight of Sam Russell Sage himself and that yellow touring car he comes in.

Judge Brack says he is a sharlatan and even Momma has said, Geneva, you ought to have better sense. To which Geneva just laghs and says, I would reccomend a dose of the same medicine for you, Maude.

And Garnie runs around after Sam Russell Sage like a little lap dog. He loves to polish his shoes. And I clean the room, and serve at table, and I see this. I see all of it. I see Ludie too who will go in the shed in the afternoons with any man at all when she thinks theres nobody watching. But I am watching. And from my bedroom window I can see fine. I can see the men come out zipping ther pants, looking to right and left.

This is not all ether. For there is a boy here named Lonnie Rash that I cannot stop starring at, nor him me. He is a young boy come to town to find work in the lumber business which he has done, but now he says he thinks he will go on over in the river bottom and join up with Louis Judds Army, but so far, he aint.

I know it is because of me. I know he has not gone yet because of me. I think he loves me. He stars at me all the time it is like he is touching me under my cloths, his eyes will follow me wherever I go. Whenever he is in the same room with me, I feel that firey hand again and cant hardly breth. I feel I have got to pee.

Lonnie Rash has got nice brown hair and kind of sand colored eyes with some green in them, and a broad strong face. Miss Torrington who hates him says he looks like a slavick boy. But I love Lonnies hands Silvaney, which are square and brown and strong, and the mussles in his arms are very hard. If you are curios how I know this, Silvaney, I have kissed him! I have run my hands down his back and his arms and let him put his tonge way down in my mouth and the firey hand grabbed me then for good. Me and Lonnie go walking out together after I am throgh with the supper dishes, and three times he has took me to the picture show to see western movies. This is the only kind of movie Lonnie likes. In the picture show he held my hand and rubbed it, I thoght I would up and die.

LONNIE RASH, LONNIE RASH, I write his name over and over on everything. I draw flowers around the capitle letters and make a morning glory vine that climbs up the L and the R. He can make me laugh so hard. Everthing I say, he says, Yes? and Oh yes? and Is that so? untill he gets me laughing to hard to quit. So then he will tickle me some and then feel of my titty. I let him feel up under my skirt too and stick his finger in there, and two times he has took out his cock for me to see but so far we have not done anything else with it. Me and Lonnie do all this out in the shed back of the bordinghouse which is an idea I got from Ludie, I am scarred to death she will come in there with a man and catch us at it. Oh Silvaney, I know this is bad but it feels so good. We used to walk out in the woods by the river, but now it is too cold.

Lonnie wants me to sneak him up in my room but so far I have not, instead I have made some excuse. I dont know why but I dont want him up there, I dont want him to see in my room and see all my things or be there. LONNIE RASH LONNIE RASH I write it on everthing and I think of his strong brown hands and the way they feel. LONNIE RASH I write, but Lonnie Rash can not write, nor read ether one, nor will he learn. LONNIE RASH, I write in the ice on my window come morning, I think I am going crazy, now this is the truth! You know I am probly not too young to have a complete nervous breakdown like Jane Eyre when she got shut up in the Red Room.

A week ago Miss Torrington asked me to stay after school and I did, she was waiting for me in the big recitation hall with all the little panes of glass frosted over by the cold and the new steam radiators hissing. Oh Silvaney, I love this room! It is the room I love bestest in the whole world next to mine! The cielings are very high here, and the woodwork is old and curly around the big windows and the cieling and the door. I love the big slates on the wall and the way the eraser dust hangs in the air, and the oak table with the globe on it, and the pictures of Jesus Blessing the Little Children and Jesus Asending in Light. I love the way the schoolroom smells, the dusty somehow holy air. It seems as if the lessons quiver in the air, the sums and poems and conjugations we have learned by hart are all still there.