Fairytales (28 page)

The next morning Dominic sat across the table from Roberto having breakfast in their rooms. It was to an angry Roberto Dominic said, “Your mother was happy to see you.”

“That’s great … and so were you when you rushed into my room like gangbusters yesterday.”

“I’m sorry about that, Roberto.”

“Sorry? You’re sorry?”

“Yes.”

“That’s very nice, but it doesn’t excuse what you did.”

Dominic said, “It doesn’t excuse what you did either … running away.”

“Maybe not, but I just got fed up with the whole fuckin’ world.”

Dominic was shocked to hear the word from his son. He said nothing. “What made you so fed up?”

“Segetti … putting me through the hoops like I was a circus performer.”

“Do you know what he told us?”

“That I was a bum … a lazy bum, right?”

“Wrong … that you were a gifted sculptor, if only you had the discipline … in fact, he said your talent was extraordinary.”

“He said that?”

“Yes, and much more about your ability, but that you lacked the incentive.”

“What does he know about incentive? He thinks everyone is the same … can be driven the same … I’m not a machine. I have to work things out my own way—”

“And what way is that?”

“To work when the inspiration hits me. If it’s in the middle of the night or in the middle of July, I’ve got to do it when I want to … I don’t want to be told when to create. Maybe that’s the way most artists work, but not me. Don’t you understand … I’m a person … Papa, a person with my own ways.”

Dominic shook his head. He was beginning to understand a great deal … “Okay, Roberto, what is it
you
want to do?”

Roberto looked at his father … it was the first time he had ever been asked. “You
really
asking, Papa?”

“Yes … I’m really asking.”

Maybe the old man didn’t want to make him over into his own image after all … was it possible the old man was growing up?

“Let’s talk, Roberto … about you. We’ve never done that, have we?”

“No, did you ever give us the chance? Were you ever home long enough?”

“Well, Roberto, I’m sorry … but I have needs too. Whether they’re the same as yours is unimportant … Now, about you.”

For the first time, Roberto forgot his anger and set aside his hostility. “I want to go home … but not back to that big house … it suffocates me … what I want is a studio with a glass slanting roof, a bed, a table and a toilet. I want to paint … murals at four o’clock in the morning if I feel like it or all night or not for days sometimes … I want to explore myself. I don’t want to conform … I don’t like ties, Papa. They choke me … not my neck, my soul.”

Dominic sat silently, listening for a long while. Catherine, in her way, knew more about their son than he did. Once she had said he needs room and that’s really what Roberto needed. “Alright, Roberto, when we get back, you find a place and I’ll buy it for you … that is, if it’s not against your principles.”

Roberto smiled … it was the first time Dominic could ever remember him doing so and, at that moment, he loved Roberto more than he could say, not only loved him, but admired him because he stood up for what he believed in … maybe they weren’t so different after all. Both fighting for the things they wanted. Suddenly Dominic felt a strong bond between them. “It’s pretty tough, Papa… trying to be a human being, isn’t it?”

“That’s pretty profound stuff, Roberto … and the answer is yes … very …”

Roberto looked at Dominic. “Funny, isn’t it … to find out about your father in a few minutes when you’ve been living together all your life?”

“Sometimes it takes a real crisis to wake us up.”

“Right… I sure caused one, didn’t I?”

“You sure did, but maybe it was a necessary one … a new beginning for you and me.”

“Maybe. I hope so, Papa.”

“Okay, Roberto, go get dressed and we’ll go and see Mama.” Getting up, Dominic said, “If you don’t want to wear the tie, don’t.”

Roberto smiled and answered, “I want to while we’re here…” Laughing, he added, “it’s the least I can do to make up for the trouble I put you through.” Dominic laughed back, then put his arms on Roberto’s shoulders and held him close.

Catherine sat in the large chair near the fireplace, warming herself with a blanket around her knees. The George V Hotel wasn’t home, but she was grateful for it “Dominic, you don’t know how good it is to be here … after eight days in the hospital … you certainly had your hands full.”

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Thank you for everythin’.”

Dominic shrugged his shoulders as he sat on the sofa. “No thanks needed.”

“I’ve noticed a great change in Roberto … he seem so changed, so calm … not at all like the boy we brought to Florence last year, I’ve noticed a difference between the two of you too … Dominic?”

“Yes …”

“You’re quite a father.”

“I wonder.”

“Oh, you don’t have to wonder… look at Roberto. It takes a father, I can tell you that. No matter how hard you try, a mother’s just not able to handle children the same way … I suppose it’s a different kind of respect they have.”

The moment had come, a moment he’d thought long and deeply about, but the decision was hard and difficult… he was trading his own personal happiness … his love … his joy in Victoria … But there was no other way. He would have to be a husband once again with all
that
involved. “Catherine,” he said, “you know with all that’s happened in the past few weeks … with you being sick, and Roberto … well, I’ve done a lot of thinking and I’ve finally realized that when you’re a parent you can’t just think of yourself. Sometimes you can’t think of yourself at all. What it boils down to is something you said. You’re right. Children have got to have a mother and a father … So, in spite of what’s happened between us, if you’re willing, Catherine, to try again, I feel my place is with my family …”

Catherine shut her eyes and mentally put her hands together, pointing them toward heaven. Thank you, dear Mother Mary, for your blessings, I’ve prayed for this moment.

Dominic went on, thinking the decision was difficult for Catherine to make. “Would you … be willing to try again … ?”

Holding back the tears, she answered, almost whispering, “Yes, Dominic, I’ll try.”

“That’s the most, or should I say the least, we can do for the children.”

Thank you, God … thank you, Jesus. “Yes, Dominic, the very least.” What about the other woman? But thinking she knew Dominic … he would never have asked if his intentions were not to break off with her.

“There is only one thing I feel we should understand,” he said.

“And what’s that?” an apprehensive Catherine asked. Maybe she had been too confident.

“Well … you know I’ve always wanted to get into public service. Since Dom will be through with school this June, he can assume many of my responsibilities. I’m going to take an active part in the party … there’s a Senator DeKaye I want to see get reelected, which is going to mean a lot of campaigning. I’m telling you this because most of our past problems have come from my being away. Do you still want to try … knowing that?”

“You want me to be honest?”

“Yes—now’s the time.”

“I don’t like politics, never did—but that’s not important, now. What really matters is the family. Yes, Dominic, we’ll try.”

Roberto came back from walking. He was a welcome diversion.

“Hi…” he said, kissing his mother. “Hi, Papa … boy, is it cold out.”

“Yes … but it’s mighty warm in here.” She smiled.

As Dominic looked at Catherine, the reality of his decision suddenly was like being hit in the gut by a sledgehammer. He still had to face Victoria. Indecision had always been difficult for him, but this … he had to be alone. Getting up he excused himself and said good night. Going to his room he shut the door quietly and stood against it, staring up at the ceiling. He walked to the window, flung it open and breathed the cold, raw night air. Turning abruptly away he stared at the telephone. Quickly he went to the bed, sat on the edge and clutched his hand over the receiver without picking it up. Looking at the silent phone he said, as though his thoughts could be transmitted, “Victoria, I’m sacrificing you as surely as anything was ever sacrificed before. I feel hollow and empty and selfish. I despise myself for abandoning you. I can’t even excuse the fact that I’m doing it for my children but everything seems to be mine, and me. But what about you and the rest of your life? You’ve given me so much, and what am I leaving you with? Nothing. The last two weeks have seemed like a whole lifetime without you. What’s the rest of my life going to be like without you … Again, me … my … mine. He put his head in his hands and gave up to the tears.

T
HE DAY OF THEIR
arrival held more excitement for the Rossis than they had ever known. The children were at the airport with flowers for Mama, and for Papa, the display was more than he could believe. Catherine had called and told her mother Dominic was coming home to stay. And Mama said I told you so and Catherine said Mama, you were right. There was no mention of love, Mama, but Dominic was coming home … and in time … time was the healer of all things. The other woman? Well, nothing was mentioned about her, but Catherine said she knew it was over … just as Mama knew the day Daddy was through.

But it wasn’t quite so simple for Dominic as he sat through the special dinner prepared for their homecoming. Catherine sat at one end, observing Dominic … noticing he ate very little while the excited conversation went on around him. The children all sat in awe of Roberto … what he had done … where he had been … what he had seen. During dinner, mother and daughter glanced at each other. Mama’s eyes saying, see, Catherine, I told you … just wait. And Catherine’s eyes responded, you’re just about the smartest lady in the world, Mama. After dinner, Dominic left, saying he had some important business to attend to and Catherine said, of course, Dominic, and Mama smiled, knowing where the business was that took Dominic.

An impatient Victoria waited for Dominic who had sent a cable earlier. When he opened the door, she was into his arms, kissing him again and again. “It’s been a hundred years, darling,” she said.

“More than that,” he said, holding her tight.

Breathlessly she took him by the hand, “Come, sit down while I get a drink, then you’ll tell me everything.”

He sat down wearily.

“I can’t believe you’re back.”

He shook his head, “I’m back alright.”

Looking at him, she said, “You look so tired … here, darling, take this.”

When she’d handed him the drink, he said, “Play ‘Clair de Lune.’”

“‘Clair de Lune’?” she asked slowly.

“Please?”

“All right.” Putting on the record, she sensed something was simply not the same, “What is it, Dominic … you seem more than just tired.”

He sipped … How did he begin? “I am more than just tired … I’m sick … like you feel when someone’s just died …”

Shaken, she sat quietly. After a long silence, she said, “Someone has … me.”

He closed his eyes and drew her to him, “Oh, God, Victoria, I knew it was going to be difficult, but nothing like this.”

Holding him to her, she said, “Dominic, my poor Dominic, I really knew someday it would happen, but in spite of that one is never really prepared.

“There isn’t anything to say, is there?” Victoria asked, shocked at her own composure. Later, she knew she’d break things, scream in the silent rooms, but now she sat quietly trying to comfort Dominic, knowing what this decision had cost him. What good would it be to ask the reasons. “Dominic, I love you.”

“Only God knows how I love you.”

“We both know, God and I … now, look at me. You’ve given me a gift for the rest of my life. Don’t you know that? I once told you memories were also souvenirs to hold on to and when I long for you, as I will, I’ll try very hard to remember what we had between us. They wouldn’t be you, but in time I’ll be able to take out the pictures and look at them and remember.”

“And I’ll remember all my life without the pictures that I’ve given up the greatest treasure a man could ever have possessed.” They sat silently, now, in each other’s embrace. There was nothing more to say … it had all been said in the nuances of touch. She would make sure that when he came for his things, she would not be here … but for this last time, she would think of nothing else but that she was in his arms.

Dominic’s only reprieve from thought in the painful months after his affair with Victoria had ended, was June … it was a time for great elation … a time for pride … a time for joy. Dom was graduating and the Rossi household was in a frenzy of excitement. Not only was the entire family getting ready to attend his graduation, but there was another reason for rejoicing … Dom was engaged to the daughter of a most illustrious and famous thoracic surgeon, Dr. Andrew Stevens from Atlanta, Georgia. The family had not as yet met Tish, but from her picture as well as her voice on the telephone, it was almost as though they knew her. Catherine was elated that Dom had chosen a girl from the south with whom she felt an immediate rapport … until she found out that Tish was not Catholic. The fact that Tish was not Italian was a thing Catherine could not alter, but, hopefully, Catholic, she could do something about. When Dom had come home during his last midterm break for a few days, Catherine spoke to him at great length. “I know we’re gonna love her as our very own and more so because you love her, but one thing I’m gonna have to insist upon, Dom, is that she become Catholic.”

“Look, Mama, Tish and I have discussed this at great length and she will not become Catholic.”

“I’m real sorry to hear that because I
want my grandchildren to be.”

“Mama, I love and respect you … but you’ve got to understand that Tish and I have to work this out our own way.”

“I also respect your position and I’ve gone along in spite of the fact that all my life I dreamed when my sons married, they’d have the feelin’ in their hearts to marry Italian girls. Well, I’ve been willin’ to overlook that, but I cannot in all honesty give my blessin’ to a marriage where my future issues will not be Catholic.”