Faith and Beauty (10 page)

Everyone, that was, except Lotti. She had been the star gymnast of them all, lithe and acrobatic, her lissom physique curling obligingly into extreme poses with no apparent effort. She claimed gymnasts had better sex because they were more in tune with their bodies. That was the kind of thing Lotti said and Hedwig had long got used to it.

She rubbed the place beneath her armpits where her outfit chafed and left angry marks on her skin. Being tall meant that from the moment she joined the Jungmädel at ten, followed by the BDM at fourteen, the regulation uniforms had never quite fitted. Lotti was as graceful as a cat and could make the frumpiest outfit look like something from
Elegante Welt
but Hedwig’s body was always awkward. She sprawled on a chair like a disjointed puppet and stooped to make herself less tall. Watching her one day, wrestling with a blouse, Lotti joked it was not the clothes, but Hedwig herself who didn’t fit. It was a light remark, but secretly it terrified her. It was something Hedwig had always feared about herself – that she was different from the others. That everything the Fatherland wanted from a woman – obedience, enthusiasm, and utter loyalty to the Führer – was somehow missing in her. And one day it would be found out.

In a way, it had been found out already.

Jochen was the only son of Eastern immigrants who came over in the years after the war and settled among the grim tenements of Prenzlauer Berg. He was as tough as any Hitler Youth but his strength came from digging vegetables, rather than paramilitary exercises. They had met through a chance encounter at the Botanical Gardens and if ever she felt in Jochen’s pockets Hedwig would find dried seeds in mysterious leathery pods that he was planning to plant in his allotment. When they went walking he could pick out the least significant plant by the side of the path and make it sound special by telling her its Latin name. Despite the fact that he spent all day manufacturing Nazi memorabilia, he had never joined the Party or talked excitedly about army service, or the chances of war. On the Führer’s birthday he had taken the train out to the borders of the city and spent all day harvesting asparagus, while everyone else travelled in the opposite direction.

It was inevitable that when Hedwig’s parents met Jochen the encounter would be a disaster. In their cramped parlour, with its dark brown paint and sooty stove, Jochen had sat dumbly, making monosyllabic comments, eyes fixed resolutely on the tabletop. Hedwig felt her mother wince when he fetched out a rag of a handkerchief to wipe his face and saw her father frown every time he heard Jochen’s rough Berliner accent. Herr Holz had fired off questions to Jochen as though conducting one of the questionnaires that every German now completed in the workplace.
What were his interests?
Botany.
What was his ancestry?
Polish.
What was his Party membership?
Non-existent. The answers could not be more disappointing, and as Jochen wolfed down the sausage stew as though it might be taken away from him, and wiped his plate round with a piece of bread, Hedwig could read the verdict in her parents’ eyes. He had failed the test. This boy was not what their daughter had joined the Faith and Beauty Society for. Precisely the opposite, in fact. What was she thinking of?

Afterwards, there had been a row. Frau Holz claimed Jochen would never amount to anything and if Hedwig stuck with him, the only house she could hope for was a greenhouse. Herr Holz went further, demanding she end the relationship there and then. Hedwig knew that from then on her assignations with Jochen would have to remain secret. Which was why, perversely, staying in the Faith and Beauty Society suited everyone. Her parents wanted her there so she would not see Jochen, and she wanted to be there so that she could.

After lunch that day there was Dinner Etiquette, focusing on how to lay the correct knives and forks, fold napkins into swastikas and clever ways with sugar icing. The entire topic was fiendishly complex. There were guidelines for which flowers went with different dishes. Roses with beef. Orchids with fish. The Führer’s favourite, Edelweiss, if you could find it, with anything.

Everything was about rules now. The girls had each been given a Rule Book to mark down everything they learned. How to talk, how to look, how to conduct yourself correctly. Girls should wait for the men to pick up cutlery and start eating first. Hedwig studiously noted everything she learned, but in truth, it was like taking life lessons from a fairy tale. No one in Berlin would be holding five-course dinners in the near future. You couldn’t get sugar icing and the chances of finding a side of beef were about as likely as the Führer himself dropping by to eat it.

Gloomily she selected a hunk of rye bread to accompany the thin gravy. Today’s lunch was sauerkraut, bread soup and fake meat. Everything was fake now; not just the coffee, but the rice cooked in mutton fat moulded to make artificial chops, rice mixed with onions and oil which was called fake fish, the nettles in soup and the horse chestnuts in bread. It reminded her of a joke Lotti had told.
What’s the difference between India and Germany? In India one man, Gandhi, starves on behalf of millions. In Germany, millions starve on behalf of one man.

Lotti was the only woman who dared tell jokes in public, with a rich, full-throated, gurgling laugh. That was also against the rules, of course. Laughing was inelegant for women, according to the principal, Frau Mann. It implied criticism and did not befit a German woman. Smiling was a different matter – indeed Faith and Beauty girls should always smile when a man addressed them – but laughing, well, the way Frau Mann talked, it was as though a healthy dose of female laughter could bring the whole edifice of the National Socialist Party crashing down.

‘Are you eating that?’

Hilde Ziegler was eyeing her slice of rye bread and Hedwig shrugged. She used to be hungry all the time. A hunger that filled her dreams with fat pork chops, chocolate and cake with real cream and pastries made with butter, but since Lotti’s death, her appetite had disappeared.

She glanced out of the window to the woods at the far end of the garden. At the place Lotti was found, the police had erected arc lights, the kind you saw in film studios, bathing the area in a dazzling phosphorescent glow. But there was one secret that no amount of police spotlights were going to uncover.

Everyone in Germany kept a place in their mind, like a cellar in a house or an attic concealed by a study door, that nobody knew about. A place where they thought their own thoughts and examined their true feelings. And when Hedwig retreated to this place and shut the door behind her, what she mainly felt was guilt.

Chapter Eight

Even though he was standing in the shadows, Clara could feel his eyes on her. Calculating, malign, dangerous. Attempting, with the precision of an interrogator, to dissect her performance and separate pretence from reality. Analysing every minute facial movement, every glance and gesture, to pounce on falsity and drag the truth from where she had concealed it.

Despite the heat of the arc lights, she shivered.

She was wearing a flimsy pink silk dress and spectacles and standing next to Heinz Rühmann on stage five of the Ufa studio – the very same sound stage on which Marlene Dietrich had only a decade earlier filmed
The Blue Angel
and Fritz Lang made
Metropolis
. Now, in contrast to those cinematic masterpieces, stage five was playing host to the final scene of
Liebe Streng Verboten
.
Love Strictly Forbidden
was pure, high-octane candyfloss for the eyes. The plot revolved around an ambitious mother who wanted to marry her daughter to the lord of the manor, while the daughter was in love with a lowly hotelier. It was a farcical procession of mistakes and confusions with a satisfyingly happy ending and just the kind of escapism Herr Doktor Goebbels prescribed to soothe a nation’s frazzled nerves.

In truth, Clara was glad that the film required the minimum of effort. Her visit to London and the news of Leo occupied all her thinking space. She felt stunned, as though she had left part of herself in England, and
Love Strictly Forbidden
, which had all the depth and sophistication of a Wurst carton, was the ideal vehicle to occupy her. The lovelorn secretary was a popular role in German cinema and she had played it a number of times over the last few years, so it was easy to go through the motions. It helped that Heinz Rühmann, one of the biggest blond heartthrobs of the German screen, was an old friend, so kissing him was no great hardship.

Yet even the most intimate of love scenes required an army of people in the studio; director, assistant director, crew, clapperboard loader, piano player. Continuity girl, props manager, cameraman and gaffer, and a make-up artist with brushes and palette primed for a last-minute touch-up. Boys with belts of tools hung from the cranes, and in distant glass cubicles sound engineers fiddled with knobs and microphones. All morning everyone’s attention had been focused on the small pool of light occupied by Clara and Rühmann, but when the Minister for Propaganda entered, suddenly no one was watching the actors any more.

As soon as Clara saw Goebbels take shape in the shadows, assistants fluttering around him and the violet haze of his cigarette smoke coiling upwards into the studio roof, she knew there was no point going on. The man in charge of all film-making in the Third Reich was not the type to linger respectfully in the shadows. Once he registered that she had seen him, he gave an infinitesimal nod and Clara, with a quick apologetic smile to the director, threaded her way through the camera cables and followed Goebbels as he hobbled in his built-up patent leather boots along the corridor to his office.

The Propaganda Minister’s limp was the first thing everyone noticed about him and the last thing they dared mention. In the early days of the regime, the Society for the Aid of Cripples had brought out a pamphlet celebrating Goebbels as the supreme example of mental powers triumphing over physical disabilities. The charity got a taste of those mental powers shortly afterwards, when their pamphlet was burned and the society closed down.

Reaching his office, Goebbels flung open the door.

The office was a symphony of gleaming light, polished oak and pale leather furniture. Chrome lamps graced a desk of immaculate walnut and stills from Ufa’s greatest hits were displayed in tasteful black frames on the walls. Pride of place was devoted to an enormous, close-up picture of Goebbels’ own face, cadaverous, hollow-eyed and exuding all the gravitas of a wanted poster. The office also came fitted with the standard accoutrements of any minister of the Third Reich – microphones concealed in the walls, lamps and picture frames – invalidating the need to close the door quite so firmly as he gestured Clara to a seat.

Goebbels stalked across to his desk and flung himself down. Generally, his charm was as polished as his own furniture, but that day his bony visage was grimly set and his pomaded hair greying visibly. Despite the immaculate Hugo Boss herringbone suit and shimmering silk tie, he looked more wretched than Clara had ever seen him. A twitch flickered the corner of his left eye. Something serious was plainly troubling him and though there was no shortage of troubles that might concern a senior member of the Nazi government in the Spring of 1939, Clara guessed Goebbels’ misery had nothing to do with the prospect of European war.

She wondered if it was the stomach complaint that had forced him into hospital recently, or the fact that Lída Baarová, the Czech actress he had been besotted with, had been banished from Germany on Hitler’s orders. Yet instinct told her it was the same old story – the ongoing marital war with his wife Magda, who according to studio gossip had taken revenge for her long humiliation by initiating an affair with Karl Hanke, her husband’s aide, and was now disporting herself in an unseemly manner around the city’s nightclubs. On Goebbels’ desk Magda stared out from a silver picture frame with a look that could freeze blood. Clara wondered how he managed to stop himself turning it to the wall.

He eyed her coldly.

‘You look totally unrecognizable with those spectacles. You don’t need them, do you?’

‘Not yet.’

‘Good. They’re hideous. Take them off. Spectacles on women are worse than trousers. They lend a dreadfully academic air and I loathe academic women. Besides, it makes it harder to tell what you’re thinking.’

Unbidden, Conrad Adler’s phrase floated once again into Clara’s head.
Like fire behind ice.

‘Actresses are supposed to project their feelings, not suppress them. It doesn’t do to look sly. Especially . . .’

He broke off to reach for the silver cigarette box, a gift from Hitler himself, and extracted one, tossing it carelessly in Clara’s direction and offering a light. Having savoured this pause, he resumed.

‘Especially when you’re about to appear in the most ambitious film that Germany has ever seen.’

‘
Love Strictly Forbidden?
’

Goebbels cast his eyes to the ceiling, as though beseeching divine help, and tapped a finger on his patent leather boot.

‘Don’t be ridiculous, woman.
Love Strictly Forbidden
is a piece of nonsense designed for brainless secretaries on a night out whose highest ambition is to seduce their employer and entrap the poor sap into marriage. I’m talking about something of immense artistic importance.’ He exhaled a weary stream of smoke, as though the woes of the world had settled on his narrow shoulders.

‘You, Fräulein Vine, have been plucked from – well, perhaps not obscurity,’ he gave a sardonic wince, ‘but very far from stardom, to feature in a documentary film about the making of Germania.’

‘But I . . .’

‘Don’t interrupt. It’s the inspiration of the Führer himself. He feels the time is right for a full-length film about the triumphs of our nation and a celebration of our cultural conquests abroad.’

What exactly could Goebbels be referring to? The re-militarization of the Rhineland? The annexation of Austria? The seizure of Czechoslovakia?

‘Which cultural conquests did you have in mind?’