Faith and Love Found (2 page)

“William, I am serious. You know what I mean. You have not asked me to marry you. Have you changed your mind about me,” Racheal hated being so blunt, but she wanted to know what her future held.

William released Racheal’s hand, which caused her heart to race. She thought she saw doubt in his eyes and it broke her heart. “Dear Racheal,” Elijah began, “I would never change my mind about you. I wondered if you had changed your mind about me. You are the only one that I would ever want to marry. I was afraid that with all of the tension between you and your mother that you were having second thoughts, maybe she was forcing you to marry me.”

Racheal threw her arms around Elijah’s neck and held on to him tightly. Her heart pounded with excitement.

“I saved all of the money that I earned while working with my dat so that we can purchase what we will need for the house as well as some animals of our own,” Elijah said looking down at her. It meant a lot to Racheal that he was thinking about their future.

“I need to talk to my mamm,” Racheal said looking at Elijah. He knew that there had been tension between the two of them for weeks, but he was not sure why. Racheal told him about William and how her mother had refused to answer any questions about him. She told Elijah that she did not think that it was right that he was doing all of the work while this man William did not offer to help Rebecca out at all.

Elijah agreed but told Racheal that she probably did not have all of the information that there was probably a reason that Rebecca was keeping this man away. He explained that if for no other reason she probably did not want the younger girls getting upset because their mother was showing interest in a man that was not their father.

Racheal agreed with him and felt bad about her previous behavior. She knew that the way she had acted probably added to her mother’s fears. She had to sit down and talk with her mother. She knew she had to apologize. She knew her mother would understand because none of them had been in this situation before and there was no way for any of them prepare for it.

That evening as the two women prepared dinner for the family Racheal asked her mother if they could talk.

“Of course,” Rebecca answered her daughter, “You can always talk to me.”

Racheal knew that Rebecca would not be expecting her to bring up William as the topic of the conversation and she wanted to be careful with her words. She did not want her mother shutting down on her again.

“I know that you do not want the younger girls to know about your friend William as of yet, but I wanted to talk to you about him,” Racheal began. She could feel the tension in the air as her mother looked at her. Rebecca was falling for William and they had discussed him joining the Amish community several times, but they were waiting until Racheal was married and things settled down with the other girls. Rebecca was not the type of mother who put her own needs before that of her children and she was thankful that William understood how she felt about the situation.

“What is it that you want to talk about exactly,” Rebecca said looking at her daughter.

“Well,” Racheal began, “I wanted to apologize for being so rude and not understanding when you told me about him. I spoke to Elijah about it and now I understand that the reason he has not come to help you or Elijah is because you do not want to make the other girls feel uncomfortable and I probably made it worse for you.”

“Racheal,” Rebecca said smiling, “William not coming here to help has nothing to do with you or the other girls. There is so much more to it than that.”

Rebecca preceded to tell her daughter more about William. She told Racheal that William was an English man and that she wanted him to join the community just as soon as he was ready. She explained to her daughter that William had children of his own to take care of as well as a job that he could not just drop all of his responsibilities and come help out on the farm. Racheal felt torn. She wanted to know more about this mysterious man, but she also felt as if she were being disloyal to her own father.

She knew that the younger girls would need a man in their life as a father figure and she knew that her mother needed a man to love her and take care of her, but she also felt that the only man who should hold those positions was her father. Racheal did her best to smile and pretend that she was happy for her mother and that she was interested in all that her mother had to say about William.

She could see the happiness in her mother’s eyes when she spoke about William. Racheal really did want her mother to be happy, but more than anything she wanted to take some of the pressure off of Elijah and she wanted to make sure that he could live a normal life. She felt that there was already so much pressure on him that it would spill over into their marriage and that was the last thing that she wanted happening.

Racheal decided that no matter what she felt, she had to make her mother feel as if she approved of this man William so that she could free Elijah of the burden that her father had left behind.

“I think we should invite him over for dinner one night and see how the girls react to him,” Racheal told her mother.

Rebecca looked surprised by her statement. “I just think that it is important for the other girls to have time to get to know this man and to build a relationship with him. After all, they are the ones that will have to live with him,” Racheal said winking at her mother.

She watched her mother as a large smile formed on her face and a sparkle twinkled in her eye. It made her happy to see her mother happy and she had decided that it was not up to her what her mother was going to do with the rest of her life.

Racheal knew that she would have to explain to her sisters that it was not fair for any of them to try and decide how their mother should live the rest of her life and it was not right for them to expect her to take on all of the responsibilities that their father had left behind.

“I don’t know how well that would go over,” Rebecca said, her smile fading away.

“Don’t worry about it mamm,” Racheal said, looking at her mother. It hurt her that her mother thought there was no hope for her own future and that it was because she felt that her own daughters would not allow her to be happy. Racheal felt responsible for her mother feeling this way and decided that she was going to make sure that her mother was happy and that this man she was so interested in was welcome in the home if for no other reason than to help her own future husband.

“I will take care of it,” Racheal continued, “I will talk to the girls and make sure that they understand and that they behave.”

“I don’t know,” Rebecca said sadly, “I will think about it though.”

Racheal could not bear seeing her mother sad, “Elijah and I are ready to start planning our wedding,” she announced to her mother. Rebecca turned and threw her arms around her daughter. “I will help you with your quilt,” she said and Racheal could hear the excitement in her voice, “There is so much to do we need to get everyone together to build you a house and a barn.”

Racheal could tell that her mother could hardly contain herself. She was glad that she could do something to help make her mother happy.

Racheal knew that there was a lot of work to be done and she was not sure if she and Elijah would be able to get it done. He was supposed to get the crop planted, tend to the fields and work with his father in his spare time.

Rebecca already had several orders for quilts that she needed to fill and Racheal did not want to take up too much of her time but knew that she would need help at some point. It all seemed as if it were too much for Racheal and the more she thought about it the more her head began to spin.

She spoke to Elijah that night about having William over for dinner and he thought it was a good idea. He told Racheal that he would help her talk to the girls if she wanted him to and she said that she would consider it. On top of everything that she needed to do she knew that talking to the girls and having this dinner with William should be her top priority.

That night as she sat on the couch she started her quilt and began thinking about what she would tell the girls as well as how she would answer their questions. She had no idea how to prepare herself for what was to come, but she knew that she had to face her sisters and try to make things easier for her mother.

She hoped that this man William intended on marrying her mother because this would be the only time that she would ever have anything to do with a man that was not her father. Racheal had to remind herself that this man was not trying to take her father’s place, but was trying to make her mother happy.

She decided that she would talk to the girls the next day and then explain to her mother that they wanted to meet William. She just hoped that they did want to meet William.

The next morning Racheal woke up early and started making breakfast for her family. Elijah would be working the fields all day and she wanted to help him as much as she could, but she wanted to talk to her sisters first. She knew that her mother would be meeting with William later in the day and wanted her to invite him for dinner that evening.

She did not want to give her sisters any time to change their minds about meeting William once she had convinced them that it was a good idea. Racheal made a large pan of scrambled eggs and a heaping plate of bacon with biscuits for her family. She also packed a few extra biscuits for Elijah to take with him to the field in case he became hungry before lunch.

She knew how hard working the field was and that it could make a person very hungry. Elijah was a very thin man, although very muscular and Racheal did not want him becoming weak while he was working. She made coffee for her mother and Elijah and had everything prepared before anyone else awoke.

She made her way up the stairs and one by one began waking everyone up for breakfast. She knocked on Elijah’s door and told him that his breakfast was ready instead of going into the room like she did with her sisters and mother. It was not proper for her to go into his room alone and she was not sure if he would be covered. She did not want to do anything that would upset the church or risk her or Elijah getting shunned.

She had seen other girls get shunned before. Having an affair or being alone with a man when she was not married to him. One of her best friends had been caught sitting on her boyfriend’s bed, fully clothed and had been punished even though nothing was going on. She had been warned against that behavior and told if it happened again she would have to leave the church.

Racheal did not want to put that type of stress on Elijah even though she longed for time alone with him she was not going to risk their future. She knew that their time together would come soon enough.

Once everyone had gotten dressed they made their way down the stairs and looked at the breakfast Racheal had prepared happily. She poured her younger sisters some orange juice and sat down at the table with her family.

She looked around and saw all of the smiling faces, she hoped that what she was about to say would not upset them all too much.

“I need to talk to all of you,” Racheal began. Everyone looked up from their plates still chewing their food as she spoke. “I know that things have been hard since we lost Dat but it is important to me that Mamm is happy.”

“Racheal,” her mother hissed, “now is not the time.”

Racheal took her mother’s hand and smiled. “Now is the time Mamm,” she continued, “I know that you girls are not going to understand, but I want to let you know that Mamm has someone special in her life. His name is William and I want us all to meet him.”

She could see her sisters mouths drop open as they looked from her to their mother and back again. “This man is not going to replace Dat but it is in Mamm’s best interest that we are all polite and respectful to him. We need to treat him the way Dat taught us to treat our elders,” Racheal felt very grown up talking to her sisters this way and even though she could see the fear in her mother’s eye she could also tell that she was very proud at the same time.

The younger girls did not say a word, but sat in silence, listening to their sister, “Elijah and I have decided to marry,” she continued. This grabbed her sister's attention and she could see the excitement on their faces. “This means that we will not always be around to take care of all of you. We will do our best to make sure you are taken care of but we have our own lives to live. It would not be fair to Elijah if we expected him to provide for two households. Do you understand?”

The younger girls shook their heads yes and Rebecca stared in amazement at her oldest daughter. She was reminded of her husband and how much Racheal was like him. Abe had never been mean to his daughters, but he spoke with authority in much the same way that Racheal had. His demeanor demanded respect and as Racheal grew into a woman, Rebecca could tell that she had learned how to demand respect gently from her father.

“Mamm,” Racheal said, looking at her mother, “I want you to invite William and his children over for dinner tonight while this is still fresh in the girls' minds. I will work with Elijah for part of the day, then I will come help you prepare dinner.”

Rebecca looked at her daughter. She wished that she was as outspoken as she and for the first time realized just how much responsibility she had put on Racheal throughout the years. She had expected Racheal to help with the younger girls, to help with the household chores and to become almost like a second mother to her sisters. She did not regret the way that she had raised Racheal but part of her wished that she had taught her how to me more lady like.