Faith (64 page)

All over Christmas and New Year she stayed right away. She found presents from Jackie on her doorstep on Christmas Eve, but no apologetic note, no offer to reconsider. Belle didn’t take a present to her because if she had she might have blurted out what she’d seen and heard.

Charles took the view that Jackie was gifting the property to Laura as a tax dodge. He didn’t think there was any reason for Belle to get worked up about anything because if Jackie was going off somewhere with a man she probably intended to sell Kirkmay House, and she’d have to pay them to get out.

But Belle didn’t believe Charles, and all through January and February she became more and more wound up. It was so cold, and without any guests booking to stay they had no money either, and to add insult to injury, she often saw Jackie park her car opposite her house. Sometimes Laura was with her and she would watch from her window as they walked along to the restaurant on Marketgate. Their arms would be linked, heads close together as they chatted and laughed, and it seemed to Belle they were talking and laughing about her.

Then in March Jackie came to the house to see Belle.

‘This has gone on long enough, Belle,’ she said. ‘Let me come in, it’s cold out here. I need to talk to you.’

She sat there in the kitchen dressed in a sheepskin coat and matching hat which Belle could tell cost a small fortune, and she offered her £2,000 to leave Kirkmay because she was going to sell it.

‘You can take whatever furniture you need from here too,’ she said. ‘But you must leave the curtains and carpets as I shall be including them in the sale.’

‘But that’s not enough to live on,’ Belle said in horror.

‘It isn’t intended to be,’ Jackie said airily. You and Charles will have to get jobs like everyone else does. But it’s enough for advance rent on a small flat.’

Belle protested but Jackie was adamant. ‘Look, Belle, I bailed you out when you were in trouble. I got you this place, I paid for the furniture and soft furnishings and let you have a free hand. But you’ve never worked at it. I really thought Barney’s death might sober you two up, that’s the only reason I didn’t shop Charles. But he’s still driving his car drunk as a lord, and you, Belle, have become still greedier and lazier. That’s my offer, and in my view it’s a very generous one.’

‘Wouldn’t you have been angry if your own sister treated you that way?’ Belle looked from Donaldson to Price and then to her lawyer.

Donaldson was too stunned by her selfishness to reply. A glance at both his colleagues revealed that they were equally nonplussed.

‘Where could we go with only two thousand pounds?’ Belle continued, not even aware they hadn’t answered her question. ‘Did she expect us to live in a council house?’

‘So, Belle, that was in March of ’93,’ Donaldson said. ‘What happened on 12 May, two months later?’

‘I phoned Jackie that morning, she’d been getting at me constantly to leave ever since March. I wanted her to come round to my place to talk. I couldn’t go to her because my car was in the garage. She was really sharp with me and said if I wanted to see her I could walk round. Well, I wasn’t going to do that, it’s about three miles, so as the Langdons’ car was there, and the keys, I used that.

‘Her nastiness about me walking was what set me off,’ Belle mused.

She was fuming as she drove the short distance. Jackie was always saying she was lazy and that if she walked more she wouldn’t have such a fat arse. But she had to see Jackie, and try again to get more money out of her. She couldn’t bear to spend another summer in Scotland.

Jackie was on her knees sorting out a kitchen cupboard when she got there. She was wearing jeans and a white shirt, and the sight of her small, pert bottom annoyed Belle even more.

Jackie didn’t even get up. ‘If this is a plea for more dosh, save your breath,’ she said, hardly bothering to take her head out of the cupboard. ‘In a matter of months I’ll be moving on myself, and I need what little cash I’ve got.’

‘If you’re moving on then you’ll be selling this place, that’s surely more than enough for anyone,’ Belle said. She didn’t want to admit she knew about the document giving it to Laura.

‘I won’t be selling it, I’m going to give it away to Laura.’ Jackie stood up, then and smirked. ‘I was going to do it at Christmas, but for various reasons I thought I’d wait a while longer. Now is the right time. I always did say I was either going to spend what I’d got or give it away. This is the start of it.’

‘You can’t give a property like this to that slag,’ Belle said indignantly.

‘Don’t you dare call her a slag.’ Jackie took a threatening step towards her. ‘She is my best friend and she’s never asked a thing of me, unlike you who’s always whining for more. Charles killed her son, or have you forgotten that? It nearly destroyed her, and me. I can’t give her Barney back, but I sure as hell can give her this place if I want to.’

‘You’d help her, but not me? How can you do that to your own sister?’ Belle grabbed Jackie’s arm pleadingly. ‘I know you hate Charles, I’ll leave him if that’s what you want, he’s the one that caused all the problems, the one that spends the money, not me.’

‘You’d sell your own mother for a few quid,’ Jackie snarled at her. ‘That day when I was in hospital and I said I knew it was Charles driving, you pleaded with me to keep quiet about it. You insisted you loved him, that you’d fall apart without him. Later you both promised that you would turn over a new leaf, work hard, stop drinking and acting like you were millionaires. And I stupidly believed you would. What a fool I was to believe either of you could feel remorse!’

‘It was all him, not me,’ Belle said wildly.

‘I betrayed my best friend by not seeing her son’s killer brought to justice,’ Jackie roared at her. ‘And you, Belle, are so bloody wrapped up in yourself that you can’t see what that does to me. Get out now, out of my life for good. I shall instruct my solicitor today to draw up papers to get you evicted from my property. And I’m withdrawing the offer of two thousand. You’ll get nothing.’

She caught hold of Belle and pushed her to the front door. ‘And furthermore, if you try to hang on here I’ll contact the police and tell them Charles was the hit-and-run driver,’ she yelled after her.

Belle got back in the car and drove out of the yard and down the drive, but before she got to the road, she stopped, got out of the car and walked back. She and Jackie had had rows just as bitter as this one, and Jackie was always sorry a few minutes later.

She fully expected to look through the kitchen window and see her sobbing with her head on the table.

But she wasn’t in the kitchen, though Belle could hear her voice. Realizing her sister was sitting on the stairs to use the phone, Belle tiptoed up to the partly open front door and listened.

‘Just come over, Laura,’ Jackie was pleading, her voice breaking as she cried. ‘I can’t explain on the phone, it’s too difficult. I need you.’

Belle left then. She ran back to the car and drove back home.

The moment she got indoors she poured herself a drink to steady her nerves. But they wouldn’t steady. She knew what Laura would do when Jackie blurted out about who had been driving the car that killed Barney. She wouldn’t wait for the police, she’d be round here in minutes to tear the place apart, and Belle with it. Logic wouldn’t come into it, that it was Charles who did the killing, not his wife. All Laura would see was that she twisted Jackie’s arm to keep quiet.

She had another drink, then another, and all the time she was watching the clock and imagining Laura driving out towards Fife. But as the drink went down, fear took second place to jealousy. Jackie loved Laura far more than she did her, and she was going to give her the farm.

Belle had loved Laura too, right from when she was a little girl, all through her teens to her early twenties. Laura was the one who had time for her, a real big sister, not like Jackie who dismissed her as being just a kid. She bought her lovely presents, she would spend ages curling her hair, take her to the cinema, swimming and roller skating. Even when Barney was born she was still the same. Belle could remember going round to see her in Chelsea, and Laura always had time to listen to her news, commiserate about boyfriends who let her down, and she’d give her a hug and a few pounds and tell her that she was beautiful.

When Laura ran away from Gregory, Belle missed her very much. She’d been used to going to the Chelsea house whenever she felt lonely, and she could talk to Laura so much more easily than to Jackie, or even her mother.

After Laura settled in Scotland with Stuart, Jackie used to go up to see her. Belle wanted to go too, but she was never invited. Jackie would come back saying what a lovely man Stuart was and how happy Laura and Barney were with him, and it was obvious to Belle that Laura had forgotten all about her.

Then Laura and Stuart split up, and Stuart arrived to work for Jackie.

From the first moment Belle saw him, she wanted him. No man before or since had had that effect on her. The softness of his Scottish accent, the gentleness in his grey eyes, the width of his shoulders and that wide smile all made her tremble.

She made excuses to go to the sites where he was working, and she’d watch the way he planed or sawed wood, and imagine those big, practical hands caressing her. He used to call her Rapunzel because of her long hair, and in her night-time fantasies he was her prince.

Everything about him was perfect: the leanness of his hips, his muscular arms and thighs, his shiny, shoulder-length hair with just a hint of auburn, and those sexy full lips. He was her dream man come true.

She thought she could have him because every other man wanted her. But though he seemed to like her, he didn’t want her. He was in love with Laura, and however hard she tried to make him forget her by luring him out to clubs, concerts and parties, it didn’t work.

The more deeply she fell in love with him, the more her love for Laura turned to hatred. Laura didn’t want him, but she had a hold on his heart, and that prevented Stuart from loving her. She didn’t want to remember the humiliation she felt when she finally got Stuart into her bed, and he couldn’t perform.

It began so well. She was burning up with desire as he kissed and cuddled her; other men she’d been to bed with leapt on her with hardly any foreplay but Stuart seemed only concerned with her pleasure. It was only when she became so aroused that she straddled him that she discovered he didn’t even have an erection.

‘I’m sorry, babe,’ he murmured. ‘I just can’t do it.’

She couldn’t accept that. Every man she’d been with before had been rampant even before they got her into bed. She tried her best to get it up for him, but when nothing happened she began questioning him indignantly.

‘It’s not you,’ was all he would say, with more apologies.

But she wouldn’t leave it, and all at once he was wriggling away from her and reaching out for his shirt at the side of the bed.

‘This was a mistake, babe,’ he said wearily. ‘I really like you, Belle, but I guess it’s too soon to even think about another woman.’

As she watched him pulling his clothes on, she felt he had insulted her in the worst possible way. She was young and gorgeous, but he couldn’t get it up because he was thinking of Laura. There was nothing on this earth Belle wanted more than Stuart, but that bitch had prevented her from getting her heart’s desire.

All that came back on 12 May as she sat there drinking and watching the clock; once again Laura was blocking the way to what she wanted.

At eleven o’clock she knew Laura would now be driving over the Forth Bridge. She’d be driving fast because she was worried about Jackie, and in thirty-five to forty minutes she’d be at the farm. When she got there, Belle knew her whole world was going to come crashing around her ears.

All at once she got up and dashed out to the car, sure that by now Jackie would have calmed down enough to promise not to tell Laura about Charles. Once she agreed to that she’d surely also agree to give them some money so they could leave Scotland.

As Belle got out of the car at Brodie Farm, she could hear Jackie singing along with the radio. It was Whitney Houston’s ‘And I Will Always Love You’, and the passion Jackie was putting into it, even if her voice was abysmal, was another reminder that she hadn’t even bothered to confide in her sister about this man she was going off with.

Belle walked straight in without knocking, and Jackie wheeled round in surprise.

‘I’ve got nothing more to say to you,’ she said icily. ‘You and I are finished, Belle. Go away.’

‘You don’t mean that,’ Belle said.

‘Oh, but I do. You know, Belle, every time you walk in that door or phone, I get a knot in my stomach because I know you want something. I don’t think you’ve ever come to me because you just want to spend time with me. It’s always that you’ve got a problem, or you need money. Well, that’s it, no more. I’m going to be as selfish as you are. So bugger off.’

Out of the corner of her eye Belle saw that document again. It was on the work surface, and she guessed Jackie had got it out because she was going to show it to Laura when she arrived; perhaps they would even take it to her solicitors together.

All at once white-hot, uncontrollable rage welled up inside her. She wasn’t going to let Laura have the farm. And she wasn’t going to let Jackie tell her about Barney either. She had to be stopped.

‘Go on, piss off, you make me sick,’ Jackie said, and turned dismissively back to the sink.

The kitchen knives were all there, right at hand, gleaming stainless steel embedded in a block of wood. One second Belle was just looking at them, the next she held a long triangular one in her hand.

‘Are you still here?’ Jackie said, without turning. ‘I wondered what the bad smell was. Get out now, before I throw you out.’

She turned round, and she laughed when she saw the knife. ‘Oh, do grow up,’ she said.

Jackie had said that same thing to Belle so many times and on every occasion it had hurt. This time it was like pulling a trigger, Belle ran at her with all her force, and the knife went straight into the left side of Jackie’s chest.