Faithful to Laura (20 page)

The bed creaked as Lukas sat down. “You’ll get your answers,
sohn
. Although you have to prepare yourself. They may not be what you want to hear.”

“Then maybe I don’t want to know.” He looked at Lukas.

“Things were perfectly fine here before she showed up.”

“Were they?”

Sawyer blinked. “What does that mean?”

“You’re comfortable here, that’s true. But can you say you’re content?”

“What’s the difference?”

Lukas expelled a long breath. “The difference is that if you were content with our way of life, you would have made your decision about the church by now. But there is a part of you that is still pulled by the Yankee world.”

Sawyer opened his mouth to speak, but his father continued.

“That’s not a wrong thing for someone in your situation, Sawyer. You spent more years in that world than in ours. There are Amish who have lived in this community all their lives and still question whether they belong here. Some decide they don’t. Your mother and I were prepared for you to tell us that you didn’t either.”

“But what if I am?” He shot up from the bed. “What if I’m ready to join the Amish?”

Lukas looked at him intently. “Can you say that with honesty? With a clear heart and conscience?”

Sawyer sucked in a breath. He couldn’t lie. Wouldn’t be dishonest with the man who had saved him from living in foster care. “No. I can’t.”

“Then maybe this is God’s way of helping you decide. What if you had joined the church and your grandmother had shown up?”

“She’s not . . .” Sawyer sighed. “Your
mamm
is
mei grossmudder
.”

Lukas nodded. “All right. But that doesn’t change the question. What if Mrs. Easley had shown up after you were baptized?

You would be faced with an even more difficult choice.”

“There’s no choice. She can do whatever she wants. I’m staying here.”

“You don’t want to find out why your parents never told you about her?”

“No.”

But it was a half-truth, and Sawyer knew it. Part of him wanted to understand the reason for his parents’ deep secret. Yet a larger part wanted things to return to the way they were before Cora Easley entered their lives. But that would never happen.

Lukas rose. “We should
geh
home. Your
mamm
offered Mrs. Easley a place to stay tonight.”

“In our house?”

“
Ya
. I know you’re upset about this. We all are. But that doesn’t mean we change who we are and how we behave. If she were anyone else, we’d offer the same hospitality.”

Sawyer huffed. “All right.” He thought about Anna at home. Alone with Cora. “We should leave now. I’ll meet you downstairs.” Then he remembered Laura. He couldn’t leave her to walk alone in the cold darkness. “Laura—”

“I’ll meet you at the
haus
after you take her home.”

After Lukas left, Sawyer leaned against the door frame. What was he going to do now? He dreaded going home but didn’t want Anna to be alone. Maybe if Cora saw how happy the three of them were, she’d get her fancy self on the next plane out of Cleveland and back to whatever high society she belonged to. That was her world. This one was his.

Somehow he had to convince her of that.

C
HAPTER
16

Laura straightened up the paperwork on her desk in the office. Once Lukas had told her he was closing down the shop, she made sure everything was put away, not just in her workspace, but in the shop as well. She returned the tools to their places on the pegboards, closed the cans of paint and varnish and set them on their respective shelves, and took a broom to the floor. By the time she finished sweeping the sawdust and depositing it in the storage bin, it was already dark.

The days were getting shorter. Colder. And tonight she would have to walk home. She didn’t expect Sawyer to drive her after what happened today.

She put on her coat, picked up her purse and took out the flashlight. Then she turned off the gas lamps and locked the workshop door.
Fraa
Byler had invited her to stay for supper, but Laura declined. Her husband, Joseph, had come home, and she knew they had a lot to talk about. She didn’t want to impose.

As she walked out of the shop, her skin instantly chilled. She turned on the flashlight. At least she knew her way home this time. She just didn’t realize how accustomed she was to getting a ride from Sawyer. Her fingers were cold and stiff, and her breath hung in the air like a puff of stretched cotton. Would she ever get used to the cold in Ohio?

Then the rain started again. It had been raining on and off all day, as if God were twisting a water spigot on a whim. She sank inside her coat, prepared for the cold, wet walk home.

Headlights shone behind her. She turned, shielding her eyes. The driver’s side door opened. Sawyer poked his head above it. She could barely see him through the blinding light.

“Hop in,” he called to her.

Laura walked toward the truck. The passenger door sprang open, and she slid in. “I thought you left.”

“Not without taking you home.”

“You don’t have to.” But the gesture touched her. Even in the midst of his turmoil, he hadn’t forgotten about her.

She held her cold hands in front of the heating vents, thankful she didn’t have to walk home.
“Danki.”

“Welcome.” Sawyer’s tone was sharp, yet she could tell it wasn’t aimed at her. Questions whirled in her mind. How had the conversation gone with his English grandmother? How were Anna and Lukas holding up?

And when did she suddenly become so interested? When did she start to care?

She drew her hands back. She couldn’t afford to care about Sawyer or his family.

But she did. All the effort she’d expended trying not to become attached, and once again she’d let her heart overrule her mind.

Sawyer slowed down the truck. He pulled over to the side of the road, almost completely on the grass shoulder in front of a wide pasture, and put the truck in park. He flicked a switch and the hazard lights started blinking and clicking.

“Is something wrong?” Laura asked.

In the dimness of the dashboard lights he faced her. “Can I ask you a question?”

Laura nodded, too surprised to do anything else.

“What are you doing?” he asked.

“Right now I’m sitting in your truck—”

“In Middlefield. Why are you here and not back home with your family?”

She pushed back one of the ribbons of her
kapp
. “Why are you asking me this now?”

“Because I want to know. I
need
to know. You have a family. You’re choosing to stay away from them.” He gripped the steering wheel. “I never had that choice before. Not until now.”

Laura wasn’t quite sure what he meant. But it didn’t matter why he asked the question. She had vowed never to tell anyone.

Yet the desperation in his voice, in his eyes . . . She couldn’t refuse him.

“I can’t
geh
home. Not until I can make things right with my parents.”

“How can you do that living here?”

“By making money. That’s why I needed the job. I owe them a lot of money.”

Sawyer kept silent. Maybe that answer satisfied him. But it wasn’t the complete truth. And for some reason she felt she owed him that.

“I fell in love with Mark King.” The words flew out of her mouth, and she couldn’t have retrieved them even if she wanted to. “Almost at first sight.” Her stomach twisted into a knot at the words.

“So you and Mark were together.”

There was something strange about his tone. A mix of surprise and . . . jealousy? No, that couldn’t be. He had nothing to be jealous of. Of course it was so like her to read into something that wasn’t there. She had done so with Mark. “Falling for him was the dumbest thing I’d ever done. All he wanted was my money.

“I had been working since I was fourteen in our family business.
Mei
parents ran a bakery and delivery service. A very successful one. I had saved quite a bit of money for when I would get married.” She looked down in her lap. “I thought Mark would be
mei
husband. You see how that turned out.”

“What did he do?” Sawyer’s voice was low. Almost menacing.

“I gave him
mei
money. I did it willingly. He was going to be
mei mann
. But he started asking questions. About the business, the way
mei
parents ran it. How they took care of the money. I thought it was because he wanted to learn about the bakery. He had already started working part-time, going on deliveries with
mei daed
.

Mei daed
didn’t trust banks. For years
mei mudder
tried “ to convince him they were safe and necessary. But
mei daed
wouldn’t listen.
Mei grossvadder
was the same way; never used a bank in his life.
Daed
kept all the savings in a box buried behind the barn. Just like his
daed
before him.”

“And you told Mark where to find it?”

She shook her head. “He found it himself, after he figured out the money was somewhere on the property. He took everything—their whole life’s savings. Not long after that he disappeared. I thought he had changed his mind about the wedding.” She closed her eyes against the humiliation of that day, when she discovered he had left Etheridge without a word to her. “A few days later,
Daed
discovered the missing money. By that time Mark was long gone.”

“And you followed him here.”

She couldn’t see Sawyer’s expression very well in the dark cab. But she could imagine how foolish he thought she was. She’d thought that enough about herself.

“Laura. You know it’s not your fault he’s a thief.”

“It’s
mei
fault for bringing him into our lives! He stole every penny from them. Almost thirty years of savings, gone. I had to do something.”

“And you thought if you found him, that would help?”

“
Ya
. I’d hoped to talk him into returning the money. If that didn’t work, I was going to report him to the police. I know that’s not what we’re supposed to do. We’re supposed to pretend
nix
happened.”

“But you couldn’t.”

“Nee!”
She took a deep breath. Raindrops splattered against the windshield, first just a couple, then a steady stream.

“I couldn’t ignore what Mark did.
Mei
parents refused to seek any justice. But they were devastated. They kept saying, ‘This is God’s will.’ What they really meant was it was my fault.”

“Laura.” Sawyer let go of the steering wheel and moved closer to her.

“You know the rest.” Involuntarily, her hand went to her face. Heat suffused her cheeks underneath the raised ridges. She closed her eyes. Scarred for life, both inside and out.

Sawyer took her hand. “You didn’t deserve that.”

The sound of rain pounding against the truck echoed in her ears. She opened her eyes and looked at him. “Maybe I did.”

“Laura, I’m sure your parents want you to come home. Do you really think you’ll be able to replace what Mark took? We don’t pay you that much. It will take you months. Probably years.”

“I have to try.” She looked away. “I can’t face them until I do.” She glanced down at her hand in Sawyer’s. A tingle passed through her, a little shock. She pulled away. “I should get home.”

He nodded. “Me too.” He leaned back, not putting the truck in gear right away. He let out a long sigh before reaching for the gearshift.

When they reached her driveway, he turned and stopped the truck close to the house. She opened the door and started to get out. Then she stopped and closed it, keeping the rain at bay for another moment. “Sawyer, please don’t tell anyone what I said. No one knows. Not even
mei mudder
and
daed
. I didn’t tell them why I left.”

“I promise I won’t say anything. Thank you for trusting me. I know it wasn’t easy.”