Faithful to Laura (27 page)

Sawyer paused. He took the documents but didn’t open them. “What did your original will say?”

She gave him a rueful smile. “I left everything in a trust. Kenneth is the executor.”

He stared at the papers on his lap. Then he looked at her.

“You said you wanted to know more about me. Here’s the first thing: I don’t care about money. Mom and Dad never did. The Bylers don’t. So it doesn’t matter how much money you bribe me with—”

“It’s not a bribe. It’s what you deserve. I know I’ve been less than polite toward you and your adoptive family.” She twisted the pearl necklace around her fingers. “I want to apologize for that.”

“Apologize to them.”

“I already did.”

Her admission surprised him. What was she up to? This wasn’t the same woman he’d left this morning. “Cora, what do you want from me?”

“I want you to give me a chance. To give New York a chance. Just visit. I promise I’ll tell you everything. About my relationship with Kerry. How she met your father. All your questions will be answered.”

“And then?”

“And then, if you choose to—” She glanced away. “You can come back to Ohio. I won’t stop you, if that’s what you want.”

He leaned back in the chair and scrutinized her expression. She was serious. The curiosity lingering at the edges of his mind slammed into him full force. If he went with her, he would find out why his parents lied to him. He would know his family history.

Sawyer opened up the will. His hands started to sweat as he read it. By the time he was done, his mouth dropped open.

“Understand now?”

He nodded. Looked at the will again. Yet he couldn’t bring himself to say yes. Something was still holding him back, and he wasn’t sure what it was. “I’ll have to think about it.”

“Take your time.” She didn’t seem surprised by his answer. Or upset. It was almost as if she’d anticipated his response. For someone who had been in such a hurry to whisk him out of Middlefield, her sudden patience seemed suspect.

Or maybe she really was trying to be conciliatory. He couldn’t be certain.

Only one thing was sure: when it came to Cora Easley, nothing was uncalculated.

Carol took off her
kapp
and unpinned her hair. It fell to her waist. She twisted the thick strands into a loose braid and laid it over her left shoulder. She changed into her nightdress and climbed into bed, slipping between cool, crisp sheets that smelled of autumn air. For a minute or two she looked at the empty place in the bed where Norman slept. Then she rolled over and faced the wall.

A short while later, she heard the bedroom door open. She closed her eyes, feigning sleep. The steady thud of Norman’s boots against the wood floor made her flinch. She heard him undress and prepare for bed. Every night was the same. He would lie on his side, his back to hers, a wide vertical space between them. She waited for him to turn off the battery-powered lamp on his nightstand.

“Carol?”

She held perfectly still, holding her breath and waiting for him to leave her alone.

He touched her arm. “Carol.”

Her eyes opened at the sound of his voice. It had been ages since she’d heard him use that soft tone. So long since she’d felt the warmth of his touch, like she did now, the heat of his palm seeping through the thin fabric of her white nightgown. Still, she couldn’t bring herself to turn over. But if he demanded that she did, she would comply.

She waited for him to do just that. Instead, he lightly ran his hand up and down her arm.

“Carol. I know you’re awake. It’s all right if you don’t want to look at me. I understand. Please, just listen.”

Why was he being so kind? So gentle? Curiosity overwhelmed her. She rolled over and looked into his hazel eyes. Tears glistened in the corners.

“Carol, I have something to tell you. Something I should have told you long ago. But I was ashamed.”

She put her hand to her chest. Her pulse beat beneath her palm, yet it felt like her heart had stopped. “Ashamed of what, Norman?”

He wiped his eyes with the pads of his thumbs and drew in a breath. “I’ve wronged you,
mei fraa
. I have wronged you in so many ways.”

Anger suddenly took control. Carol sat up and turned on him. “Are you talking about Mary?”

He gaped. “You knew?”

“
Ya
. I knew.”

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

He shook his head. “
Nee
. It doesn’t.”

“How could you do this to me?” She tried to fight back the tears. She failed. “How could you be with another woman?

With
mei
best friend?”

“I didn’t . . . It wasn’t like that.” He hung his head and didn’t speak for a moment. “
Nix
happened.”

“Don’t lie to me, Norman.”

“I’m not. After James died, I did go to Mary. She needed help, as you know. Two young
maed
to take care of, plus James’s
mudder
. Animals to look after. I was doing my job as a deacon. Taking care of a widow. I was doing what the Lord called me to do.”

“The Lord did
not
call you to have an affair.”

“We didn’t have an affair. It never came to that. But it could have.” He sighed. “She kept telling me how lonely she was. How much she missed James. She wondered how she could go on without him. Then Adam started acting out.” He looked at her. “It seemed like you were always taking his side.”

“So that made it okay?”

“
Nee
. None of it was okay. Or right. I knew I shouldn’t have done it, but I put my arm around her.” He closed his eyes. “And then . . . we kissed. Once.”

One kiss? Pain shot through Carol’s heart. Hearing Mary’s confession had been bad enough. Imagining what might have happened between Norman and Mary had been excruciating. All the pain, all those years, for one kiss?

Yet even if it was only one kiss, that didn’t make it easier to accept.

“We both knew we had sinned. That what we’d done was wrong. We both carried so much guilt. We promised not to speak of it. We didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Carol got up and stalked to the end of the bed. “You hurt me.”

Norman moved to her. “I know. And I’m so ashamed, Carol. I was ashamed of what I’d done, and I couldn’t tell you. Mary couldn’t either. We thought if we kept quiet and pretended like it never happened, we could both forget.”

Carol’s whole body shook. Yet a small sense of relief penetrated her anger. She covered her face with her hand. Then she turned and looked at him. “This was my fault too.”

“Nee.”
He came to her and gripped her shoulders. “Is this what you’ve been doing all these months? Why you’ve been so distant? So upset? You’re blaming yourself?”

She couldn’t speak as the tears continued to flow. She nodded. “If I had been the
fraa
I was supposed to be, it wouldn’t have happened.”

“That’s not true.”

But she saw a flash of agreement in his eyes. “We’ve been drifting apart for a long time, Norman. We can blame it on Adam, on Mary, on life.” She looked down. “It’s so easy to blame everyone but ourselves.”

“You’re right.” Norman sat down on the end of the bed. His shoulders slumped. “I don’t know how to fix this.”

Carol sat next to him. “I don’t either.”

“I do love you, Carol. That’s never changed.” He reached out and took her hand.

“I love you too.” She looked into his eyes. “But is it enough?”

He nodded. “Until we get through this, it has to be.”

C
HAPTER
22

Cora fluffed her short layered hair with her fingers and thought about her conversation with Sawyer the evening before. She could tell he had been suspicious about her sudden change of attitude. If she had been in his position, she would have felt the same.

She looked in the small standing mirror on top of the bureau. Leaned forward and put a few dabs of expensive antiaging cream under her eyes. And ignored the tremor in her fingers as she smoothed it out.

As she dressed, she pondered the ease with which her grandson could turn his back on such a rich legacy. On so much money. Just as Kerry had done. And he was doing it for the same reason.

For love.

Even if he couldn’t admit it. Even if he wasn’t aware of it, only something as strong as love could motivate the rejection of a massive fortune, unending opportunity, and a chance at freedom millions could only dream about.

The freedom only millions could buy.

A short while later, the taxi pulled into the Bylers’ driveway. One thing she could say for Middlefield, there was no shortage of available drivers. She handed the middle-aged woman a hundred-dollar bill. “Wait until I come out.”

The woman’s eyes widened behind her glasses. She looked at the bill, then back at Cora. “Are you sure you didn’t mean to give me a ten?”

“When it comes to money, I never make a mistake.” Cora stepped out of the cab as the driver turned off the engine. She took a deep breath as she headed for the woodshop. Her grandson might have a rebellious streak that rivaled his mother’s, but Cora had something else.

Resources. And she wasn’t afraid to use them.

The small bell over the door dinged as she strode inside. She held her shaking hands together until the movement stopped. She couldn’t appear weak. She was here to meet with a poor Amish girl, not some major stockholder of her corporation. Bolstered, she looked around at the empty workshop.

Where was everyone? To hear Sawyer talk, these people worked nonstop. The scent of wood and varnish penetrated the air and irritated her allergies. Nauseating. Not to mention dusty.

“Can I help you?”

Cora glanced up at the soft Southern accent and quickly adjusted her expression from one of disdain to pity and concern.

Laura froze when she saw Sawyer’s grandmother standing just inside the door to the woodshop. The woman was finely dressed, as usual. Hesitating, Laura finally looked at Cora’s face. She saw what she had been afraid of seeing since the day of the accident. Pity, bordering on revulsion.

No one had looked at her like that before. But then again, she’d only had dealings with the Amish community and a few English visitors. Sawyer’s grandmother was different from any other woman she knew. Cora didn’t bother to hide her reaction.