Faithful to Laura (36 page)

Adam’s mouth dropped open as his father confessed his sin. He’d kissed Emma’s mother? Adam felt the gazes of some of the men around him. Did Emma know about this? Worse, did she think
he
knew and had kept another secret? He had to fight not to look for her. Instead, he kept his eyes straight ahead. He wouldn’t embarrass his father by making a scene. Having been in the same position, albeit for a different reason, he knew how hard this had to be for his father.

No. It had to be harder. His
daed
was a deacon. Held up to a different standard. And he was admitting not only to sinning with another woman but to abusing his position.

When his father finished, he sat down. Not in the front, but two rows back, at the end. Like Adam, he kept his gaze straight ahead. Chin lifted. Strong. Yet Adam could see his father’s shoulders shaking.

Adam held his breath as he waited to see if the congregation forgave his father. As expected, they did. And they would say they forgot.

But how did someone forget this?

The service continued, but Adam’s mind wandered. His heart ached for his
mamm
. Did she know about this? It would certainly explain her strange behavior.

At last the service ended, but even then Adam couldn’t move. He didn’t know who to seek out. His father? His mother? Emma? He sat there, unable to decide, as everyone left the barn for the midday meal at the Detweilers’.

“Adam?”

He looked up to see Emma standing there. He jumped from the bench, wishing he could pull her into his arms. Yet he couldn’t, not here. Her gaze mirrored what he felt. She embraced him with her eyes. That would have to be enough.

“Emma . . . I didn’t know.”

“I know.” She lowered her voice. “I didn’t either, until
Grossmammi
told me.”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I didn’t feel it was my place.”

“So you let this blindside me?”

Emma sighed. She took a step toward him. “Adam, I understand you’re upset.”

“I’m not upset. I’m—” He turned from her. He didn’t know what he was.

“I thought about telling you. But I realized you needed to find out from your father.”

His shoulders slumped. He pushed his black hat back and looked at Emma. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Are you mad at your
daed
?”

Adam shook his head. “That would make me a hypocrite, don’t you think?” He looked at Emma. “I don’t think anything worse of your
mamm
.”

Emma let out a puff of frosty air. “
Gut
. I don’t either. She made a mistake.”

“They both did.” He looked at the front of the church. “I know how he felt up there. That had to be the hardest thing he’s ever done.”

“Are you going to talk to him about it?”

Adam turned to Emma. He paused. “I think we both need to talk to him. And
mei mamm
. It’s time for this to be over.”

Carol looked out the window as they drove home from church.

Norman had attached the winter shield to the front of the buggy this morning and had put the softest lap robe they owned on her side of the seat. On their way to church this morning, she had thought his desire to make her comfortable was a ploy. But she hadn’t been prepared for his public confession.

Now, sitting next to him, snuggled in the sea-blue lap robe and protected from the chilly wind by the winter shield, she couldn’t speak. All she could do was stare out into the countryside as they slowly made their way back home. The clop of the horse’s hooves echoed in her ears.

Why had he done it? She hadn’t pressured him to repent in front of everyone. She truly thought they would both take the secret to their graves.

“Warm enough?” Norman asked. He tapped the back of the horse’s flank with the reins. The horse didn’t have a name.

Norman didn’t believe in getting attached to the animals.

“Ya.”
She glanced at his profile, expecting to see the tension that had creased his face for so many months. But he looked almost youthful. Like the man she had loved and married so many years ago, rather than the one she’d lived with for the past few years.

“Gut.”

She waited to see if he’d say anything more. Ask her questions. Seek her approval for what he’d done. He remained silent.

But she couldn’t, not for much longer. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you make a public confession?”

“Because I had to.” He looked at her for a moment before turning his attention to the road. “I should have done so a long time ago.”

He didn’t say anything else the rest of the ride home. She didn’t know what to think.

He pulled into the driveway. Adam hadn’t followed, and she hadn’t sought her son out after church. When Norman had asked if they could leave right after the service, she had quickly agreed. She already felt the curious and, in some cases, pitying gazes of her friends and extended family. She didn’t want to stick around and answer their questions.

Norman dropped her off in front of the house. She went inside to prepare Sunday lunch—cold cuts sandwiches, pickles, cold tea. She had set the table by the time he walked into the kitchen. He nodded and they both sat down. Bowed their heads.

Said their silent prayer of thanks.

Carol looked up. Norman took a big bite of his sandwich.

She couldn’t touch hers. “Norman?”

“Ya?”

“Will things ever be the same between us?”

Norman paused. Put down his sandwich. He rose from his chair and sat in the seat next to her. He took her hand into his rough one. “
Nee
,” he said softly. “I don’t think they will.”

Her heart lurched. “I see.”

“I’m hoping we can make it better.” Norman took her other hand and gripped both of them in a tight yet gentle hold. “I’m hoping today is a step toward that. I know now that I had to ask God’s forgiveness, publicly and with true repentance, before I could ask for yours.”

His image blurred in front of her. “That had to be difficult.”

“It was. But now I feel . . . free.” He released her hands.

“Still, I won’t feel complete until you’ve forgiven me. And I don’t expect that to happen right away.”

She gazed into the eyes of her husband. Remembered when she first fell in love with him. The qualities she’d been attracted to then—his quiet strength, seriousness of purpose, and unrelenting work ethic—paled in comparison to what he was showing her now. A complete absence of pride. A stripping down of his soul. A courage she didn’t know he possessed.

Tears flowed freely down her cheeks. She touched his face.

“I forgive you, Norman. How can I not?”

His eyes swam with tears.
“Danki.”
He choked on the word and buried his head in her hands.
“Danki, mei lieb.”
He lifted his head and gazed at her. Moved his mouth closer to hers.

A thrill she hadn’t felt in years drifted down her spine. She expected his kiss. Reveled in anticipation of it. She closed her eyes, ready to accept her husband’s demonstration of his love.

The front door slammed. They jerked apart as Adam and Emma came into the room. For the first time since her son had returned to Middlefield, she wished he hadn’t come home. Not for the next five minutes, anyway.

“Mamm. Daed.”
Adam looked at both of them. “Is everything all right?”

Carol wiped her eyes.
“Ya.”
She looked at her husband.

Her love. “Everything is
perfekt
.”

C
HAPTER
31

During the second week of January, Laura watched as Adam and Emma exchanged vows in the Shetlers’ living room. The ceremony was similar to ones she’d been to in Tennessee. The room was packed, and everyone was smiling. Especially the bride and groom. She was glad for Emma and Adam. They deserved their happiness.

Adam’s hair had grown out enough to be visible underneath the edge of his hat. He looked handsome in his dark suit, his smile nearly as wide as his face. But Emma was the stunner. Her rosy cheeks bloomed as she stood next to Adam, and there was a glow to her complexion Laura had never seen before.

She glanced at Sawyer, sitting next to her. He was in full Amish dress today and looked more handsome than she’d ever seen him. After Mark had been taken into custody, she and Sawyer had gone to the police station together to press charges. She would have to testify to make sure Mark served time for what he did to her, her family, Adam, and the Yoders. But at last she felt free.

The ceremony ended and everyone dispersed.

“I’ll be right back,” Sawyer said. He gave Laura a grin that warmed her to her toes. He left to join a few of the other men as they stood around Adam, congratulating him. Even though he had yet to join the church, he looked like he belonged. She felt like she belonged here too.

“Hi, Laura.”

She turned. It was Katherine Yoder.

After Mark’s arrest, Laura had written to her parents saying that she would be staying in Middlefield awhile longer. And during that time, Katherine had been patiently teaching her how to quilt.

“I’ve been working on those squares,” she said. “I still can’t get the stitches straight.”

“It takes practice.” Katherine sighed and looked around the room.

“Are you all right?” Laura asked.

“I’m fine. Just tired of all the weddings.”

Laura lifted her brows. “How many have you been to?”

“More than my share.” She smiled, but her eyes remained filled with regret. “I wonder when it will be my turn.”

Laura couldn’t imagine why someone as pretty and sweet as Katherine was still unmarried. “It will, Katherine.” She smiled. “I know you’ll be married soon.”

“That’s what everyone tells me.” Katherine looked away. Her auburn hair peeked from beneath her white
kapp
. “Like you, they’re just being nice.”

“Actually, I was being honest.”

Katherine smiled.
“Danki.”
Her gaze went past Laura’s shoulder.

Laura turned, following Katherine’s line of sight. Johnny Mullet stood across the room, talking to a young woman. Katherine’s eyes held a mix of pain and longing that was all too familiar. “We should see if they need some help in the kitchen.”

Katherine hesitated. “
Gut
idea,” she finally said.

Late into the evening, the last guest went home. Laura was in the kitchen cleaning the remaining dishes when Leona walked in.

“
Danki
for all your help.” The old woman plopped into the chair.

Laura turned around, her hands covered in soapy bubbles. “Washing dishes isn’t much.”

“It is when the rest of us are exhausted.” Leona smiled. “It was a
gut
wedding,
ya
?”

“Ya.”
She went back to the dishes. She didn’t ask where Adam and Emma were. They had already moved their things into Emma’s parents’ old room the day before. It would feel strange having Adam here in the house. But that wouldn’t matter to Laura. She didn’t plan to be here much longer.