Fake (19 page)

He has a way of making me forget everything else. Like the still unanswered email I sent to my father.

‘I'd better let you go,' he says.

I look into his eyes properly for the first time today. The hallway around me vanishes. There is nothing but the two of us. He leans close like he's going to kiss me and I sway toward him. Everything I'd decided about keeping him at a distance until I know his secret disappears beneath a wave of wanting to feel his lips on mine again.

At the last second he plants a kiss on my cheek. It's not hot. Or lukewarm. It's … friendly.

I have to stop myself sighing. ‘Yeah … well … have a nice day.'

He frowns. ‘Cleaning up spew, remember?'

‘I forgot. In that case, I hope your day contains less vomit than yesterday.'

‘That's more like it.' He winks. ‘Bye.' He takes two steps down the hall.

‘Sebastian?'

He turns back.

‘Did you get in trouble Saturday night?'

He shakes his head. ‘You'll never believe it. Lana covered for me. She told Mum and Dad I had to drive her date home.'

‘She did what?' He's right, I can't believe it. She must have a motive. ‘But she hates me.'

He shrugs. ‘She's not so bad. Once you get to know her.'

I don't point out the obvious, that as her big brother he's biased. Instead I lift my hand and he smiles and hurries away.

* * *

I don't see Sebastian again until Wednesday afternoon.

He's sitting back against a fence on the corner a block from school and he's reading, of all things, a computer textbook. He's so engrossed he doesn't hear me approach.

‘But you're not a computer nerd?' I ask by way of greeting.

His head lifts. ‘For school … honest.' He snaps it closed and stands. ‘How have you been? Other than missing me desperately of course.'

‘Of course.' I put my hand over my heart to emphasise my point.

His laugh brightens the afternoon.

I try to think of something I can talk to him about. School is boring. The time I've spent trying to monitor the increasingly soppy conversations Chay is having with Lana while posing as Aaron isn't a good subject.

There is something else. And he's a boy so he might have perspective. ‘I've been waiting on an email.'

We begin to walk and he tucks the book under one arm and slips the other around my shoulders. ‘Who from?'

‘My father.'

His step doesn't falter. ‘I thought you said he's not around?'

‘He's not, but he wants to meet.'

‘And you've emailed?' He sounds confused.

‘I wrote to him a few days ago but he hasn't answered.' Now I wish I'd never brought it up. Sebastian and I aren't exactly dating. He's probably not ready to be burdened with my problems. ‘Forget it.'

He squeezes me close and drops the lightest of kisses on the end of my nose. ‘I like you, Kath. I want to know everything there is to know about you.'

My belly flips. Unspoken between us is the big secret I didn't want to know. I should ask him. I know it. Only I haven't seen him for days and from the way he acted at the playground I'm afraid it's a conversation I might regret having.

He sighs. ‘He's probably just busy. That's all.'

I look up into Sebastian's pine eyes. ‘Not that he hates me and regrets ever asking me to meet up?'

‘Girls.' He shakes his head and closes his eyes as though wishing for a clue to the puzzle of my species. ‘That would make him an A-grade douche, and since he's your dad I can't imagine it.'

If only he knew. My dad's much worse than that, but the sun is too warm to go into the horrible details and we've reached home already.

‘So I shouldn't give up?' I ask lightly.

‘No. Give him a few more days.'

‘Okay, but only because you said so.' What else can I do? I'm not going to email him to tell him where he can shove his meeting or he'll know how important this is to me.

Sebastian's toe scrapes the dust on the ground. If the last time is anything to go by, he's thinking hard. ‘How much do you know about this Aaron guy?'

Somehow I manage not to drop my bag or squeal or even gasp. ‘Who?'

‘Aaron Winter. You're friends with him online.'

I consider my words. ‘Isn't he a friend of some of the guys from the soccer team?'

Sebastian folds his arms. ‘I don't like him and I don't trust him.'

I try to breathe normally but I would swear someone tipped cement into my lungs at his words. ‘W-Why?'

‘He's encouraging Lana to skip school to go to some concert.'

Since when?

I try to look interested – but not too interested – while I think back over what I've seen online. The school thing must have come up in a private conversation late last night.

Seems that whenever I blink, Chay is pushing harder at Lana through Aaron. The other day they were talking about naughty photos. When I called her on it, Chay argued she was only kidding and promised the charade would soon be over. But I hate to think what she'd do if Lana actually sent a compromising picture.

‘It's probably harmless,' I suggest, trying to think of a plausible explanation. ‘Maybe she misunderstood a joke.'

He shakes his head. ‘She's not going to have told me the worst of it.'

I shift my bag onto the other shoulder. ‘She seems capable of looking after herself.'

He seems to realise he's talking to someone less than sympathetic to his sister's plight. ‘Sorry. I know she's not your favourite person, but if this Aaron guy's a creep then she's not the only one in danger. I'm going to find out more about him. Being a computer nerd might be useful after all.'

The cement in my airways is setting solid. ‘I don't think you need to worry,' I squeak.

What I really want to do is ask how he'll find out more about Aaron. Chay and I are no experts, and we haven't done a single thing to cover our tracks. But if I ask too much he'll get suspicious.

‘I'm sure it's fine,' I add.

He nods but is obviously still distracted. ‘You're right. I'm probably just being an over-protective big brother.'

‘I think it's cute.' In a terrifying kind of way.

He focuses on me properly. ‘I think you're cute.' His phone buzzes. ‘Sorry.' He checks it and replies. ‘That's Dave. I should have been there ten minutes ago.'

‘I don't want you to put your job at risk.'

‘It's worth it to see you but I don't want to push my luck.' He lingers for a moment, steps close and presses a kiss to my mouth. Pulling me against him knocks my bag to the ground and a distant part of me is aware of books sliding out onto the road.

Kissing Sebastian is worth it.

But he's already late. He meets my lips one more time. ‘I really have to go.'

I kiss him back. ‘Go.'

He laughs. ‘You don't make leaving easy.'

‘I'm not trying to.'

His eyes are serious, like he's taking a picture of me with his mind. ‘Bye Kath.' He takes off at a run.

I stare after him until he rounds the corner, and then I force my shaky legs to move toward the house.

We need to end this Aaron thing before Sebastian finds out it's me.

But I can't contact Chay all that night. She doesn't answer my texts and she's not online at all. As herself or Aaron.

Lana is.

I debate responding to a message to Aaron saying Joel had some art project he had to work on instead of studying together at her house. She says she's consoling herself by listening to the CD he sent her of his band.

I try to call Chay again. She never mentioned sending Lana anything.

The whole time I'm logged on as Aaron I'm aware of Sebastian possibly on his computer trying to trace him. I log off fast and my heartbeat is erratic.

There's still no answer on my friend's phone. Where is she?

* * *

On Thursday morning I'm waiting at Chay's locker as soon as they unlock the building. I hated having to make up an excuse to Mum about being at school early. I'm starting to forget what the truth sounds like.

I'm worried I'll lose the ability to recognise it when I hear it.

Chay strides in at the usual time with a carefree grin. ‘Sorry babe, I was busy.'

I blink. ‘What are you wearing?'

She twirls. ‘You like?'

She's different. Still a skirt and boots but less skin than usual, and she's toned her make-up down to a pretty pink highlight rather than knockout red and heavy black. ‘You look nice.'

Her lips sparkle as they stretch. ‘Brilliant. I was aiming for “nice”.'

‘Why?'

She shrugs. ‘I want a change.'

Her tone is light but the words aren't. ‘Is this about a boy?'

Some of the sparkle in her eyes dims and she turns to shove her bag in her locker. ‘No.'

She's lying. I would bet all our years of friendship on it but I am willing to give her the space to talk when she needs to. The Aaron problem is more important right now.

I take a deep breath and speak to her back. ‘I'm deleting Aaron's Facebook account tonight.'

One shoulder lifts. ‘Okay.'

‘What?' I was all ready to explain the Sebastian thing, and her lack of argument leaves my mouth opening and closing like one of those fake fish trophies that sing.

She turns to face me, her books in a pile in her arms and a phone I've never seen on top next to hers. It's old and clunky. The kind people throw away for parts. ‘We've progressed to texting.'

Other students have begun to arrive for school. They mill around us oblivious to our conversation about everyone's friend Aaron. Odours of boy sweat and too strong body spray mingle in a sickening combination. ‘You have to be kidding me.'

‘Nope.' Her grin is satisfied. ‘She's falling for him. Give me a week, tops, and she'll break up with Joel. Then Aaron dumps her. Lesson learned. It's foolproof.' She all but dances on the spot.

‘It's not.' Nausea swirls in my belly. This is out of control. I clutch at Chay's hand, trying to make her understand. ‘Sebastian's going to work out we're behind this. He's worried about his sister and he's a computer expert.'

She shakes me free and shoots me a pitying glance. ‘Why would he bother? He's got enough to worry about.'

The nausea climbs into my throat. Sebastian's secret. ‘Do you know something?'

‘Enough.'

‘Tell me.'

Her face softens. ‘Lana mentioned to Aaron that Sebastian is repeating this year. That's all. I promise.'

I don't know whether to believe her. This new Chay isn't the girl I've known for all these years. She's keeping secrets, and I don't know if Sebastian's is one of them.

I change tack. ‘Can I read the texts?'

She makes a show of checking the time. ‘Of course you can. We're in this together, but I really need to get to class. We have a big group project in art and it's due soon.'

Art project … Where have I heard that mentioned before?

I'm trying to balance too much in my brain. ‘But you don't mind me deleting Aaron's account?'

‘Not at all. I'll come up with some reason. Maybe he's too mature for online crap.'

‘And we'll talk about the texts?'

She nods, already heading to her class. ‘Later,' she calls over her shoulder.

Without the Facebook account, I'm completely out of the loop for the revenge plan that was supposed to be about what Lana did to me. But if I don't delete it, Sebastian will work out I'm involved.

Whatever Chay thinks, the boy I know will do whatever it takes to protect someone he cares about. I've never had a sibling so I don't know if he's a typical big brother, but I doubt it. There's a fierce loyalty in him that both attracts and frightens me. Because although he doesn't know it, I'm the one he's trying to protect his sister from.

I have to trust Chay.

And for the first time I remember, I don't know if I can.

* * *

I've given up on ever hearing from Dad when I receive an email early Sunday afternoon telling me he's driving this way and would like to share a coffee. He includes his phone number so I can let him know.

My eyes well up and overflow like a kid's bath left on. I have to blink hot tears away to reread the email and make sure I'm not imagining things.

Then I try to call Mum.

Yesterday we spent a relaxing day cleaning the house and then shared a pepperoni pizza – her choice because I couldn't decide – and a girly flick. Which means today she's out with Colin.

She said they were going to a movie and coming back here afterwards for dinner. I'm not sure what time it started but I know she'll have her phone to silent while she's in there. As expected the call goes to messages and I hang up. It's not fair to break the news that I'm meeting Dad in a message.

I catch myself mid thought and slump on my unmade bed. When did I decide I would go?

Probably the moment I emailed him.

I don't want to give myself a chance to change my mind so I text the location of Sweety's and when I'll be there to the number he provided. An hour should give Mum time to return my call or get home.

And it gives me plenty of time to change out of the daggy trackies I was wearing to study.

I stand in front of my wardrobe. Pull out a dress and put it back. I don't want my father to think I'm a girly girl. It has to be jeans, but which ones?

Maybe an hour won't be long enough. It's hard to concentrate when my knees are wobbly and something is constricting my chest. What if I don't recognise him? How will he recognise me? I've changed since I helped Mum load my most precious things into the back of the family wagon and we drove away.