Faking It (13 page)

Erin stared at her a long moment. “I don’t know. It would be weird to call out of the blue like that.”

“But I’ll bet that they’ll be thrilled to hear from you,” Maggie said.

“I don’t think so,” Erin said, unease filling her.

“You should try, love.” Maggie stirred sugar into her tea. “How else will you know if you were right to break up with Jack? What if being with you made him stronger, so he could withstand the heart attack? What if it would have been much worse had you not been with him? What if being with you now is his best shot at fully recovering? You just can’t know—” Maggie gave her a pointed look “—unless you ask.”

The hope in Erin’s heart stirred. She looked again from her mother to her aunt, then to Thomas, who nodded reassuringly. Then she swallowed. “Okay, I’ll make a few calls.”

E
RIN’S PULSE THRUMMED
as she stared at the number in her cell phone. Okay, maybe she’d lied a little the other night. She had programmed at least one of her ex-lovers into her cell phone.

While Trent had been working with her, she’d talked to him almost every day. She hadn’t been about to call him right there in front of everyone, though. Some things were meant to be done in private.

She flexed her hands and took a deep breath. She had to do this. Maggie’s questions burned through her.

How else will you know if you were right to break up with Jack? You just can’t know unless you ask.

“Okay, here goes nothing.” She pushed the call button on her phone.

The display showed her phone dialing Trent’s number. With her breath held and her eyes closed she pressed the phone to her ear. He picked up before the third ring. “Erin?”

“Trent. Hi. I’ll bet you’re surprised to hear from me.”

“Oh, my God. Can you hold on just a sec and let me get rid of this other call?”

“Sure.”

“Okay. I’ll be right back. Don’t go anywhere.”

“I won’t.” She let out her breath when he clicked over but had barely had time to refill her lungs before he was back.

“I can’t believe it’s you. I am so excited you called,” he said.

“You are?”

“You bet. I’ve been meaning to call you, but I’ve been so caught up in everything.”

“You have? What’s been going on with you?”

“What hasn’t been going on with me? New job, new look, I feel like I’m finally making something of myself. I hate that I left the way I did, Erin, honestly. You must think I’m the slime of the earth for not calling.

“I never meant to leave you hanging like that,” he said. “After I left you that day, I spent three days feeling like I was dying. It was the worst intestinal bug I’d ever had. But in some way it was the best thing that ever happened to me.

“Somehow afterward I felt transformed. I woke up on that last day and I felt like a new man—like I had
a whole new lease on life. I don’t know how exactly, but I think it had something to do with the time I spent with you. That’s because that’s how you made me feel when we were together that night.

“That one encounter with you was the most uplifting event of my life. That’s the honest truth,” he said. “Then I had to blow it all by getting sick, but I think it helped me. Got me to get rid of a bunch of extra stuff I had in me or something.” He paused.

“I can’t explain it, but you’ve turned my life around. I can never repay you. I started to call you so many times, but I guess I was a little in awe of you after that and, well, the way I left… It was all a little humbling. Truth was, I didn’t think I could face you or explain myself coherently. And here you are calling me and I can’t seem to shut myself up.”

She smiled, more than a little stunned herself. “I’m glad you told me all that. I’m so happy to hear that you’re doing well. I can’t say that I had anything to do with it, but sounds like you’re in a happy place.”

“I am and it
was
because of you. I’m convinced of that. I mentioned it to Josh and he said it was the same for him with Tess. You girls have got some kind of gift, you know.”

“So I’ve been told.”

“What can I do for you? Do you need help with your design business? I’ve gotten myself pretty
wrapped up in a major project, but I’ll do anything for you.”

“No, I’m good. I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing,” she said.

“I’m so glad you called. You doing okay?”

“Oh, sure. I’m great. You take care, Trent, and thanks for sharing all that with me.”

He bid her an enthusiastic goodbye, then she pushed the disconnect button, a sense of wonder filling her. Were her mother and Aunt Sophie right? Did she really have the gift? Could it be that just maybe she was what Jack needed after all?

She raced to her nightstand to find her address book and all the scraps of paper she’d stuffed into it bearing numbers she’d meant to one day record in the pages. After several minutes of searching, she found Ryan’s number.

Without hesitating she pressed it into the keypad on her phone, but to her disappointment his voice mail picked up. “Hi, Ryan, this is Erin McClellan. I know it’s been a while, but I thought I’d check to see how you’re doing. Give me a call sometime.”

She left her number, just in case, then disconnected. “Let’s see, who else?”

She flipped through her address book again. She couldn’t go on just one positive response. She had to
talk to someone else. If she found more reactions like Trent’s, then maybe she didn’t need to be on her own.

She’d have a good reason to go back to Jack.

J
ACK SIPPED HIS COFFEE
and stared out the window of his childhood bedroom. The ache in his chest was of a different sort these days. This ache could only be the pain of a broken heart.

“You ready, bro?” Bobby popped his head through the doorway.

Jack glanced around. “Just need my shoes.”

“Here, I’ve got them.” Bobby whisked them out of the closet and at Jack’s feet before Jack could work up the energy to push himself off the bed.

Funny how quickly the tables had turned. Since his little visit to the hospital, his family couldn’t do enough for him. He gritted his teeth. He should be grateful, but he hated that his family’s sudden ability to take care of themselves came because he’d been disabled.

“Thanks.” With a slowness that didn’t have anything to do with his recent illness Jack slipped on his shoes.

He was stalling. Why should he hurry? What man would rush to have his chest sliced open?

“I’ll warm up the car. You got it okay?” Bobby asked.

“Sure, Bobby, I’m fine. I’m coming. I’m not an invalid. I can drag my fat ass to the car on my own.”

“Okay. I’ll tell Mom we’re going then.”

Jack nodded, feeling like a jerk. His brother hadn’t deserved his sarcasm. None of them had deserved his sour mood over the past few days, but he hated this weakness. And since Erin had walked out on him the last time, an oppressive gloom had settled over him.

He closed his eyes and pushed himself up from the bed. Maybe he should call her to make sure she was all right after all that drama at the hospital and to tell her about the surgery. Maybe if she knew he was taking care of his little problem, she might consider coming back to him.

I’m afraid if I stay I’ll only cause you more misery.

Silly woman. Didn’t she know all he was without her was miserable? He dug his cell phone from his pocket. He scrolled through his contacts to her name, then pressed the call button.

She answered on the second ring, her voice breathless. “Ryan?”

“No. This is Jack.”

“Oh, Jack, hi. How are you?” she asked. “I called the hospital to check your condition, but they said you’d been released.”

“They just kept me overnight.”

“So are you feeling any better?”

“No, I’m miserable. I miss you like hell, Erin. Please come back to me. I know I’m no prize pack
age with my defect and all, but I’m getting that taken care of. I need you. I want you. I don’t care if I puke buckets a day. It’s all worth it. I’d rather spend a day being sick with you than spend another minute in this hell without you. There, I’m groveling, but that’s it. I’m a man with no strength. I have no dignity left. I have nothing if I don’t have you. And who the hell is Ryan?”

Silence buzzed across the line and he wanted to kick himself for running on. She’d probably hung up. Then a soft sob sounded from her end.

“Hell, baby, I didn’t mean to make you cry,” he said.

“I’m sorry, Jack. I’m not ready to see you. I want to, really I do, but I can’t risk it yet.”

“Yet? That sounds hopeful.”

“What do you mean you’re taking care of it? Are you having the surgery?”

“I’m headed out the door right now.”

His mother stepped into his room. “Jack, we’re going to be late.”

He motioned to her to wait a minute. “I have to go, Erin. Promise you’ll come see me.”

“Jack…I’ll be thinking about you and sending you prayers and good wishes.”

“Great. Thanks.” His throat tightened. Prayers and good wishes. He should count his blessings.

“Jack.” His mother motioned for him to come.

He closed his eyes. “Baby, I—I’ll call you later.”

He hung up before he could hear her response or make a further fool of himself. She’d already said it all. She wasn’t ready to see him.

Well, hell, they could have his heart now. They might as well cut it out altogether and rid him of it once and for all. A lot of damn good it was doing him.

He gritted his teeth and headed down the stairs, his mother on his heels. She meant well, but Erin was the only one he wanted at that moment. If only he could see her. He could get through this with just one hug, one touch or even a smile from the woman he loved.

E
RIN CLOSED HER EYES
and leaned back in her office chair. Her whole body ached. She’d hardly slept in days and Jack’s words continued to haunt her, distracting her from her work at hand.

I’d rather spend a day being sick with you than spend another minute in this hell without you.

If only she could be sure she wouldn’t cause him any harm, she’d drop everything to rush to his side. Her stomach tightened at the thought of him facing the surgery. At least he had his family with him.

Stacey, Jack’s younger sister, was just sixteen when she started having problems. They did open-heart, but she didn’t make it.

A shiver of fear raced through Erin. What would she do if he didn’t make it?

What if being with you now is his best shot at fully recovering?

She pushed back her chair. What if he really needed her? Should she go to the hospital? “I’m damned if I do and damned if I don’t.”

Her frustration building, she grabbed her purse, then headed out the door. She at least had to find out how he was doing. She didn’t have to see him, but she could go to the hospital and wait for news along with the rest of them.

A cool gust hit her as she exited the building. A man waved to her as she crossed the street to her car. He moved nearer and a rush of recognition hit her. “Ryan!”

Smiling broadly, he rushed up to her, his eyes shining, the perfect picture of health. “Erin McClellan, you are a sight for sore eyes.”

“I could say the same for you.” She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight.

A sound of satisfaction rose from him and he held her close for a long moment before she pulled back smiling. His entire demeanor shone. Surely he’d have good news to report, as well, then she’d know it would probably be safe to visit Jack. “You look a whole lot better than the last time I saw you.”

He groaned and clutched his stomach. “The agony, the humiliation. What a way to impress a woman.”

“You didn’t need to impress me. You had already done that.”

“You certainly impressed the hell out of me. I’ve never experienced anything like that. I felt like I’d hit the lottery when I got your message.

“I would have called you sooner, but I’ve been out of town and didn’t check voice mail until I got back this morning,” he explained. “I was going to call you back, but I was right around the corner, so I figured I’d just pop over. Looks like I just caught you.”

“You did. I’m headed to the hospital to see a friend who’s having surgery. I called you to see how you’re doing.”

“Really?” His eyes brightened. “After what happened, I didn’t think you’d ever want anything to do with me. When I left your place that day I felt like a dog running off with my tail between my legs.

“Man, it was bad. I have never been sick like that,” he said. “Then I woke up that next morning and I had broken this major sweat and the puking and all that was gone like it had never happened.

“I felt…invincible. For days it was like I kept reliving how it was when we were, you know, getting it on. Really strange, but I couldn’t get you out of my
mind and I felt like I was reborn or something. I sound like the biggest ass, but, Erin, that whole experience with you, even though those were some of the most wretched days of my life, it was also the coolest, the most spiritual time.” He laughed.

“Okay, I’m talking like a geek, but it’s the honest-to-God truth. And I wanted to call you months ago, but then I met this girl. We’re actually talking about hitching up. It’s incredible. I’ve never felt better about my life. She’s an angel, and I know this is going to sound strange, but I could never have gotten with her if I hadn’t been with you first and gone through all that.

“Sounds bizarre and I guess it is, but there you are. That’s how I’ve been.”

“I’m so glad to hear everything is going so well for you, Ryan. Thanks. I needed to hear that.”

He shrugged. “Is that all you need? I feel so indebted to you. If there’s anything else I can do for you, you call me and I’m here.”

“Thank you.” She went up on tiptoe and kissed his cheek. “You’ve made my day.”

He touched his cheek, his eyes wide. “You’ve got the magic. It’s all in your touch.”

She cocked her head and, for the first time in ages, laughter bubbled up inside her.