Fall On Me (20 page)

"It was in her room," I heard Kyle say from
behind me. "Stuck to her vanity mirror. Ted gave it to me when he
was packing up her things. She left a lot of stuff in her room when
she moved in with Mike." I watched as Kyle picked up the frame and
gazed down at it. "Lee, if it's too much I can put it away…"

"No," I whispered as I took the frame from
his hands and returned it to the ledge. "She needs to be
remembered. We should never forget why we're here together."

"Come here," he said in gruff tone as he
cupped my neck and pulled my face to his chest. "No one's gonna
forget her, baby." I felt his lips brush my hair. "Heroes are never
forgotten."

****

Kyle

There were no words to express how relieved I
was to finally have Lee moved out of the city and into this place.
Maybe my heart would stop trying to jump into my throat now that I
knew she was protected and miles away from trouble. She was safe
now. They both were…But I should have known that photo would fuck
with her head. We'd been having a good day–enjoying our first day
in our new home–until she looked at the photo over the fireplace
and the light in her eyes faded. I hadn't gotten one word out of
her during dinner and I was worried. She'd cooked in silence while
I fed Hope and settled her down for the night...

"Do you wanna check out the hot tub?" I asked
her, more out of desperation than anything. "There's an enclosed
glass porch out back, so it's warm…heated floors?" Lee handled her
grief with gracious dignity, but she was hurting deeply and I felt
useless. Her mood had plummeted and nothing I seemed to say was
pulling her back up. She had this horrible habit of retracting into
that shell of hers and I knew she was slipping into the past. I
needed to pull her out of there and fast. Our past didn't exactly
paint me as a gentleman… "Or we could watch a movie?"

"I think I'm going to go lie down if that's
okay," she mumbled. She just sat staring at me for ages until I
realized why. She was waiting for permission. Fuck. I nodded my
head and clenched my jaw as I forced a small smile. Pushing back
her chair, it scraped over the kitchen tiles as she slowly stood
up. "Do you mind if I clean this up in the morning?" she asked
pointing to the dinner plates.

"No, I don't mind," I said in an emphatic
tone. "You don't need my permission if you don't want to wash
dishes, baby. This is your house." I fucking hated when she became
docile and pliant. It didn’t happen often anymore, but when it did
it hurt. It made me wonder if a small part of her still lived in
that house in Montgomery.

Jimmy Bennett left his mark on her…

Besides, she didn't have to ask my permission
to do anything in this place. This really was her house. I had the
property contracted solely to Lee. She thought it was in both of
our names and I let her think that. She'd freak out otherwise and I
needed to know that she had some security to fall back on. This was
my reasoning when I'd deposited one hundred thousand dollars into
her personal account this morning–the one I'd made her open after
Hope was born. I needed her taken care of.

No matter what.

Cam's death had fucked my head up, too. Lee
dealt with it by hiding her pain with a smile. Derek: by shouting
and getting angry. I dealt with it by making a plan. That was my
thing. Cam's death had made me see how fickle life could be. I
needed to know Lee would be taken care of if anything was to happen
to me. Call it being morbid, but I hated the thought of her being
dragged through the courts by my father if I was to die before I
got her up that aisle. We weren't married yet and I knew he would.
Hope had security, she was my flesh and blood, but Lee…God, she
wasn't strong enough to fight him.

According to my father, David Henderson, my
inheritance was undeserving. That fucker would do just about
anything to get his hands on the hotel chain his father–my
grandfather–had left me. I couldn't underestimate him. He was a
shrewd opponent… "You make the rules around here," I told Lee as I
pushed all thoughts of my father–and hers– to the back of my mind.
"In this house
you
are the boss."

My words got a small smile out of her. "And
what are you?" she mused as she leaned against her chair. "In this
house, I mean."

"Well," I said with a grin as I stretched my
arms over my head. "You're the queen of this house. You can order
me around all you like…but in our bedroom I'm your motherfucking
king."

I must have said the right thing again
because she awarded me with a megawatt smile. "King," she said in a
teasing tone. "Do you want me to make you a crown? I'm sure we have
some paper and glue somewhere."

"I'm serious," I told her even though I was
thrilled that she was smiling.

"So am I." Lee smiled. "Now, do you want me
to use the blue crayon or the green one for your crown?"

"Red," I chuckled as I stood up and grabbed
our plates from the table.

"Why red?" she asked quietly as she hovered
behind me.

"I don't know." I shrugged as I scraped the
remainder of Lee's burnt chicken casserole into the trash before
loading the dishwasher.
Girl couldn't cook for shit…
"I like
red. Red's a good color for a crown."

She was silent for so long that I'd thought
she had left the room. Then I heard her whisper, "I didn't know
that."

"Hey," I said softly as I closed the door on
the dishwasher and turned around to face her. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she sighed as she fiddled with the
hem of her t-shirt. She looked deep in thought as she frowned at
the floor before looking up at me. "It's just that the night I
was…" She stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes flickered to the ground
and then to the fridge. She shook her head and shivered.

"You were…" I coaxed as I walked over to her.
Tipping her chin up with my fingers I stared down at her lonesome
expression. "You were what, baby?"

"I was wearing red the night she shot me,"
she blurted out before shuddering. "It's probably stupid, but I
really don't like red anymore. The color makes me nauseous…Reminds
me of the blood."

Thank fuck I hadn't painted any of the rooms
in the house red…

"Lee," I sighed, pulling her body into mine.
"It's over, baby. She's never gonna hurt you again." I pulled back
to clasp her face in my hands. "In a couple of months she'll be
locked away forever."

"I know that," she whispered. "It's just
going to take me some time, you know? Some things stick in a
person's mind. I can't help it, but I am trying to move forward. I
promise I am."

"I know you are," I said in a gruff tone as I
stroked her back gently. "God, you're doing so well. I'm so proud
of you for handling all of this with such dignity."

"That's because of you," she replied in a
soft tone as she tightened her arms around my waist. "Being with
you makes it easier to breathe, Kyle. When I'm with you I feel like
I am wrapped up in a protective blanket and nothing can harm me…but
it's also a scary feeling because I should be able to take care of
myself, you know?"

"No," I replied as I looked down at her. "No.
I don't know, princess. You're mine and I'm gonna take care of you.
There's nothing scary about that."

Lee squeezed me tighter. "Kyle, people who
try to protect me get hurt," she whispered. "Bruno…Cam…oh god, if
anything ever happened to you…"

"Shh," I crooned as I held her face to my
chest. "You're safe. Hope's safe. I'm safe," I said softly. "I
promise you. I fucking promise you things will be better for us
here. I'm not gonna let a damn thing happen to you. Never again,
Lee. I swear to you."

"We'll survive together," she whispered,
squeezing me once more before stepping away from me and walking
towards the door. "Night, Kyle."

"Night, princess." I watched her tiny frame
retreating with a heavy heart. It was only seven pm. "I'll be up
soon."

"Take your time," I heard her say as my eyes
followed her until she slipped out of my vision.

I was feeling jittery and had an unusual
amount of excess energy thrumming in my veins that I needed to burn
off before I could even think about lying down.

Sometimes I had a really hard time just
trying to sit still and relax my brain. It didn’t bother me too
much since I'd always been like this, but every now and then I
thought back to my childhood and something I once overheard one of
my foster-parent's discussing with my case-worker when I was ten.
I'd heard them talking about my mother and how she'd taken drugs
throughout her pregnancy with me. They had come to the conclusion
that my tetchy, volatile behavior was a result of being exposed to
the intravenous drugs my mother had taken. After a lengthy
discussion with my case worker about my aggressive nature, the
Osborne family had come to the conclusion that I was too
high-risk
to be around their other children. The following
day my bags were packed and I was shipped on to the next family. Of
course, my
volatile
behavior had nothing to do with their
asshole fifteen year old son who'd kicked me in the balls for using
the shower before him and I, in turn, had retaliated by breaking
his nose.
Assholes…

Pushing those memories to the back of my
mind, I tidied up the kitchen, went through the quarterly financial
report for the hotel in Denver, called Derek to check in, and then
spent about thirty minutes admiring the alarm system before
conceding to exhaustion.

"The alarm system in this place is awesome,"
I said in a hushed tone as I climbed into bed next to Lee. "A fly
couldn’t get into this place unnoticed…" I poked her in the ribs
gently. "Hey, Lee, you awake?"

"Yeah," she whispered as she rolled onto her
back and looked up at me. Her eyes were puffy and swollen. "Did you
remember that it's Halloween tomorrow, Kyle?" she asked, her voice
thick with emotion.

"Yeah," I mumbled. "I know." I had hoped she
wouldn’t remember. The thought of taking her out in the dark, with
idiots running around the place wearing masks and setting off
fireworks made my blood run cold.

"I don’t…" she paused, closed her eyes and
exhaled heavily. "I know it's Hope's first Halloween, but can we
stay at home this year?"

I felt like sagging in relief. Stretching out
on my back, I pulled her body closer to mine and wrapped my arm
around her. "That sounds like a pretty good plan to me,
princess."

"Are you sure?" she asked as she snuggled
into my side.

"Yeah, baby," I whispered. We had enough
monsters lurking in the shadows. No need to go out looking for
more. "I'm sure."

****

Chapter 11

Power
rangers and Barbie dolls

Kyle

Halloween had passed in a–mostly–drama-free
blur. Hope had woken up with two new teeth and an upset tummy, and
Lee and I had been too elbows-deep in baby poop and vomit to even
think about the date. Her tummy had settled by evening, and when we
got her down for the night we'd both collapsed from exhaustion and
worry. I hadn’t been too stressed about Hope's diarrhea–it always
happened when she cut a new tooth, but Lee had been frantic.

The following morning Lee asked me to take
her to the cemetery–and every day since–and I took her there, no
questions asked. I wasn't happy about her going there so much, but
I was just grateful she was asking me instead of sneaking out
behind my back. I was trying to pull her out of her sadness and Lee
was trying, too, but she went to bed early since we moved in, and
even though she tried to be quiet about it, I heard her crying into
her pillow in the middle of the night when she thought I was
asleep. Her nightmares were just as vicious as before and it tore
my goddamn heart up that I couldn't fix it. All I wanted was for
her to be happy again.

This was the seventh night in our new home
and I was relieved as hell that Lee was in better spirits tonight.
Cam's photo had messed with her head, and to be honest, I had a
feeling it still was messing with her head. Every now and then I
caught her looking up at it and discretely wiping her eyes. I
debated whether I should take it away, but I didn't want to upset
her further.

"How was it?" Lee asked as she snuggled into
my side. We'd bathed Hope and put her down for the night and were
crashed out on the couch watching some shitty chick flick in front
of the fire. This was the first night in a week that I'd persuaded
her to stay up later than nine o clock, and I hated to admit it,
but Lee's taste of movies was growing on me. She'd chosen Dirty
Dancing for us to watch and I was feeling a little put out that I
couldn't dance like that.
Jesus, what the hell was this woman
turning me into?

"How was what?" I asked turning down the
volume of the TV with the remote.

"Your childhood," she replied breaking me
out of my reverie. "You never say much about it. I know you were in
the system, but you don't say anything else about it."

"It was what it was, princess." I really
didn't know what she wanted me to say. Yeah, I'd been dealt a
crappy hand, but it paled in comparison to what she'd gone through
with her father. I had been one of the luckier kids. As a child I
was like an alley cat–more than capable of fighting my own corner.
"I was tall for my age," I told her as I stretched my legs out next
to hers. "And I had a mouth that got me out of as much trouble as
it got me into."

"That sounds like you," she chuckled as she
played with the hem of my t-shirt. "Did you get into many
fights?"

"Define many," I teased as I looked down at
her smiling face.
Keep talking, Carter. Keep her smiling…
"I
was a horrible kid," I laughed.

"Where did you see yourself when you were
older?" she asked.