Fall (The Ragnarok Prophesies) (20 page)

I took a deep breath and nodded my head, trying desperately to hold the tears at bay. Once they started this time, they wouldn’t stop, and I couldn’t deal with that. Ronan was right. I had to go, and Dace and I both knew I did. He would never be able to find his way again with me here.

But maybe… maybe if I wasn’t here, he could let go of some of the damaging emotions that threatened to drag him under. I couldn’t promise him I would be any safer out there than I was here, and we both knew that, too. It was entirely possible Sköll and Hati would follow me wherever I went. Dace’s biggest fear was that they would find me no matter how far I ran. But that was a chance we both had to take because I couldn’t stay here when staying meant watching Dace tear himself apart.

I’d been stupid to think I could. To think that being destined to love one another meant we could do this thing together and everything would work out fine. Sköll and Hati were stronger than us. They were more powerful than us. And Odin never meant for us to hold them off forever. We might have wanted to believe our destiny was to defeat them and save the world, but our real destiny was to lose. Our destiny had always been to lose.

We were weak. Held back by fear and love and all those human emotions that damned us little by little for millennia until now. Until I couldn’t shift, and Dace would rather watch me leave than face watching me die.

Knowing that didn’t make going any easier.

I’ll have everyone meet us.

He pulled out his phone and began to text, but he didn’t say anything else to me while Dad navigated through town.

I didn’t speak again either.

When Dad pulled into the driveway fifteen minutes later, Chelle, Gage, Ronan, Professor Edwards and Naomi all waited on the porch. They watched us approach silently. Dad didn’t ask why they were all there, and I didn’t tell him. He’d find out soon enough.

I took a deep breath and dragged myself from the car to face them.

Dace offered me his arm, but I couldn’t take it. I couldn’t touch him and then turn around and walk away from him. I made my way up the walkway carefully, keeping my eyes on the ground. My legs didn’t betray me. Neither did my tears.

Gage held out a hand to help me climb the steps to the front door. I took it gratefully, allowing him to support some of my weight.

Chelle reached out and squeezed my arm.

I lifted my head to look at her, only to find Naomi and Professor Edwards staring at me with matching, sympathetic frowns on their faces. I think they all knew what was coming. I think, maybe, they’d been expecting it.

Knowing that didn’t make it any easier, either.

“Where will you go?” Chelle asked.

No one else said a word since I opened my mouth and told them I was leaving. I didn’t tell them why. I couldn’t sit beside Dace and tell everyone I feared what he might do if I stayed. No one needed to know that, and I didn’t want them looking at Dace differently over any of this. Despite everything, I didn’t blame him. He didn’t have a choice in loving me anymore than he had a choice in being a shapeshifter. Sometimes, well, sometimes love simply didn’t conquer all.

Instead I told them Ronan was right, and we needed to find a way to draw Sköll and Hati out once and for all. If one of us left, they might take the bait and follow behind instead of setting fires in the dark. I didn’t have any intention of letting them find me, but if they followed, at least we’d know where to start looking for them. If nothing else, maybe leaving would catch them off guard. They might slip up and say or do the wrong thing. Either way, the faster we found them, the faster we could figure out how to kill them without risking everything.

Maybe the army would let us borrow a rocket launcher or two.

Or Arkansas would magically sprout a volcano we could toss them into.

“To Smyrna,” Dad said.

I glanced up to find him looking at me, his eyes brimming with sympathy and… pride?

“Go to Smyrna,” he said. “To your mom’s.”

“I can’t. The house isn’t ours anymore.” Saying that out loud hurt. If I had to leave here, that’s where I wanted to go, but I couldn’t. Just like Dace, I didn’t have a home anymore.

“It is.” Dad shrugged when I stared blankly at him, confused. “I haven’t put it up for sale yet.”

“Oh.” I didn’t know what to say. Knowing he couldn’t let the house go hurt as much as it helped. He couldn’t afford to keep making the mortgage payments on it, but still he held on to it. Held on to Mom.

God, I missed her so much.

“She can’t go back there.” Ronan looked over at me from his place by the windows on the far wall. He didn’t smile or look at me with sympathy or anything of that nature. He merely looked at me, the same way he always looked at me. But I think maybe he did feel sympathy for me. If anyone understood how this felt, he did. He lost the girl he loved to Sköll and Hati already.

“Why not?” Dad frowned at him. “She grew up there.”

“That’s why she can’t go,” Dace said. He stared down at his hands, his expression bleak. “That’s the first place they’ll look for her.”

I wrapped my arms around myself. Fear and pain rippled through me in tandem. I wanted to crawl into his lap and wrap my arms around him. It hurt to have home within my grasp, only to have it taken away again so quickly. It hurt more to sit beside Dace and feel as if he were a million miles away.

I glanced away from him, picking a random spot on the wall to focus on. It didn’t really help. I had to leave Dace, and I couldn’t go home. I wasn’t sure anything would help my heart at this point.

“Damn.” Dad sighed heavily.

Everyone sat quietly for a long moment, trying to figure out where I could go, I guess. Now that I knew I couldn’t go to Smyrna, I didn’t really care where I ended up. One place would suck as much as another.

“She’ll go to Indiana,” Dace said, his voice quiet, remote.

I fought the urge to look at him, keeping my gaze trained on the wall instead.

“Indiana?” Naomi asked. “What’s in Indiana?”

“Indiana University,” he answered. He shifted beside me, leaning forward.

And I couldn’t pretend not to see him any longer. I watched from the corner of my eye as he rested his arms on his knees, clasping his hands together. He glanced at Naomi and then over at my dad. His expression was stark, as if the planes of his face were carved from regret.

“Dr. Michel teaches at the Folklore Institute there. He’s the world’s leading expert on Norse mythology. Maybe he can help answer a few of the question we’ve not been able to answer yet.” Dace shrugged a shoulder. “It’s a long shot, but it’s worth a chance.” He paused before looking at me. “If you’re okay with going to see him.”

“If he can help, I think I need to go.” I steeled myself and then turned my head to look at Dace fully. He looked exactly as broken as I felt. “How will I get in to see him?”

“Tell him I sent you,” Dace said. He reached out as if to touch me and then thought better of it. He let his hand fall.

Sorrow twisted through me, cutting like a knife. I couldn’t tell if it belonged to me, to Dace, to Geri, or to all three of us. I glanced away from him, unable to deal with the emotion. How the hell was I supposed to get in my car and drive out of town, knowing I might never see him again?

“You know him?” Ronan asked.

“Yes,” Dace said, clearing his throat. “He should remember me.”

“Do you honestly believe he’ll be able to help?” Gage asked. He hadn’t said anything since he offered me his arm, choosing instead to listen quietly.

When I glanced up at him, he smiled at me, his expression sad. I think he knew why I was leaving. Chelle probably did too. I was grateful neither of them let it slip though. They loved Dace too much to risk anyone losing faith in him now.

“I don’t know, but we have to try.”

Everyone fell silent again.

“I’m going with you.” Chelle squared her shoulders, trying to look brave.

I loved her for offering to come with me. I didn’t want to leave by myself any more than Dace wanted me to go. Being cut off from him, and my dad, and Buka, wasn’t going to be easy. Having Chelle with me would help, but I couldn’t protect her.

“You can’t,” I whispered to her. “I can’t protect you if you come with me.”

“Am I any safer here?” she asked. She glanced around the room. “Are any of us safer here?”

No one said anything, the events of the last few weeks weighing heavily on everyone’s minds. The flowers, the murdered wolf, the fire…. Until Sköll and Hati died, no one was truly safe anywhere.

“She’s right,” Dace said, lifting his head to look at Gage.

Gage scowled back at him. “You can’t possibly be considering letting them leave, man.”

“I don’t have a choice.” Dace raked a hand through his hair, then rubbed his forehead. He frowned. “They’re not going to attack from the sidelines forever. When they come looking for Chelle, wouldn’t you prefer she be somewhere else?”

“And if they follow the girls?” Gage demanded, not that easily swayed. “What then? I’m not sending Chelle out there as bait.”

“Then we follow them. No matter where they go, we’ll keep them safe.” Steel wove through Dace’s words, the intensity of his promise pulling a shiver from deep within me.

“Dammit,” Gage swore softly. His leg bounced as if he were too keyed up to keep himself still. “This is a bad idea.”

“Do you have another idea? Do any of you?” Dace asked. He looked at everyone but me, waiting for someone to present a better option. When no one did, he nodded once. “That’s what I thought. We don’t have another choice here. It sucks, but it is what it is. Arionna has to go, and Chelle needs to go with her.”

“What about my sister?” Chelle shifted on the couch, her gaze wary.

“Do you want to tell her what’s happening?” Dace asked.

Chelle didn’t hesitate before she shook her head.

“Then she stays here,” he decided. “The shifters will keep protecting her and Mandy. Ronan can help.”

“No, I can’t.”

Everyone looked at Ronan when he spoke, though no one said anything.

He looked at Dace and then at me. “I’m going with them.”

Shocked silence enveloped the room.

Out of everyone involved in this messed up situation, I didn’t think anyone expected him to be the one to offer to go with us. After my conversation with him days ago though, I wasn’t really surprised by his offer. He knew better than anyone how Dace felt.

But there was no way Ronan could go with me when Dace needed him here.

“No,” I said. “Dace needs you here.”

I need him with you.

Dace, you need him here. He can help you. He can help protect you.

Dace smiled sadly again.
I don’t need his protection. You do.

“I think we’d all feel better if Ronan went with you girls.” Professor Edwards gave me an apologetic shrug.

“Please,” Dace said.

I wanted to argue. I desperately wanted to tell him there was no way in hell I would allow him to stay here without Ronan when Ronan might be the only one who could help him fight Sköll and Hati, but I couldn’t tell him that. Not with that
please
hanging in the air around me, and not with his anguished expression and bright, pain filled green eyes threatening to break my heart completely. If he needed Ronan to go with me… If that’s what kept him here, fighting, then I didn’t have a choice.

“Fine,” I sighed. “Ronan will come with us.”